I fully expected Lionel to make a crude joke or to laugh at me

"Get away from me
Get away from me, this isn't gonna be easy
But I don't need you
Believe me
You got a piece of me
But its just a little piece of me
And I don't need anyone
And these days I feel like I'm fading away," The Counting Crows.

I fully expected Lionel to make a crude joke or to laugh at me. I figured I deserved to hear him whisper, "You're standing here, pressed against me, and inquiring about positions? Tut, tut, tut." He should have been his usual mean, nasty self. He ought to have done what he always does, and so when my father reacted in a kind, and gentle manner, it's all the more confusing and even, a little, terrifying. His right hand slowly ran up and down my head, while the left one sort of pressed into the small of my back. Somehow I ended up with my head rested on his shoulder, and all of my normal tension, stress, anger, and fear, slowly melted away. I didn't care how it was happening; I just knew that if he stopped I was not going to do very well. No, I need him to hold me like this for the rest of my life, I thought.

"Now, Lex, I have something very important to tell you, and some of it might be difficult to hear, but it is very important that you not interrupt me, or ask questions until I finish. I know; I know, you don't like this idea. It must seem as though I am about to do ad say something cruel and hateful. I'm not trying to hurt you. I won't hurt you. Everything I need to say has a good reason, and will end up with something you like. I promise. Do you understand?"

"Couldn't you just leave out the bad parts?" I asked, trying to regain my composure but Dad only held me tighter. "Just tell me the good stuff, and not the part you know is going to hurt me, okay?"

"I could, but if I don't tell you everything, you'll be left with a lot of questions, which will lead to the things I leave out. Do—do you remember when you were a very little boy, and we took you to the Mayo Clinic, for all those asthma tests? They were trying to learn more about your lungs, in case there was more they could do, treatment wise, since it was causing you so much pain, and was so uncomfortable. The doctors must have taken at least two pints of blood over the course of the week, put in IVs, took X-rays, CAT scans, MRIs, and all of the other things your pediatrician used to do. Some of the tests weren't too bad, but the MRI and the needles were horrible. You were just this tiny, tiny boy, not even five-years-old yet, and even though I explained exactly what was going to happen before we had the procedures done…well, it's one thing to understand how something works, and another to actually experience it. At the end of the second day, that night actually, you came up to me while I was getting ready to put you to bed, and asked if the two of us could speak privately." I suddenly knew exactly what my father was talking about. The memory hurt me hard, but it didn't hurt to think about, so I allowed my mind to drift back to the night in question.

/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/

"I wanna go home," a short, slightly chubbier, red-haired boy begs, tugging on the front of his Warrior Angel pajama top. "I don't like these tests. They hurt and are scary. Please don't make me do them anymore," he pleaded, gray-blue eyes wide, wet, full of fear. A somewhat slimmer, far younger version of Lionel crouched down beside the boy.

"You know something champ? I don't like this stuff any more than you do, and—can you keep a secret? Yes? Good. Every time I see you hooked up to one of those machines, or with a nurse digging through your arm to put in an IV, I get scared too, but the doctors need to find out what keeps making you sick. Maybe when all of this is over the will be able to make you a whole lot healthier." The little boy trusts his father, but the fear is overwhelming; it won't go way even if Alexander knew everything there was to know about exactly what was going to happen to him. He's a bright, extremely bright child, but terror is much stronger than intelligence.

"What do I do until then? I don't like—I hate these tests. I get really scared, and—I'm sorry, Daddy. I know Luthor's are supposed to be brave and strong and never scared, but I can't help it."

"It's alright, Lex. You are right. A lot of these tests and machines and procedures are really, really scary." The father wraps his arms around the boy, pulling him in close. "I just wish I could help you—wait a minute! What if I do this—hold you—while they do the tests. You can sit in my lap whenever they draw your blood and measure your lung capacity. I'll hold your hand or foot or anything I can grab a hold of durring the CAT and MRI scans, and I'll stand behind you with my hands on your shoulders for the standing up x-rays. Would that help at all?" The boy nods vigorously. "Good, and Lex, it is really painful for me to have to watch them do these things to my child and not be able to help. I get scared too. I think this will be good for us."

"I have another question, Daddy. If you get sad watching me, and I'm scared, and Mommy is both sad and scared, then how come I gotta stay here and do the tests? I know I need them, but couldn't Dr. Chandler do the same thing at home?"

"Dr. Chandler does the best he can, but sometimes that isn't enough. The doctors here do so many tests in such a short amount of time so they can learn everything there is to know about your condition. They specialize in treating people with extremely difficult to treat conditions." Alexander cuts his father off.

"I know. You already told me what the doctors do here, and why, but…we don't know for sure if they can help me. Why can't we just go home and not be scared or sad or any of the other icky feelings?"

"Because—Lex, I know you're afraid. I know because I feel the same way, and the only thing scarier than watching you have these tests done is when you have an asthma attack, especially the bad ones when we have to go to the emergency room."

"You're scared at all those times?" Lionel's head nods, once, slowly, defiantly a yes. "It doesn't look like you are. What do you do? How do you keep on gong and doing something when it's carry?" The boy is desperate, and he's starting to believe he's being lied to. The older man's usual stoic face relaxes, eyes becoming soft, and he allows his little boy to see him frowning deeply.

"I didn't want anyone to see that I was I was scared, and upset. I thought knowing my fear would make you nervous. I wanted—I want—to be strong for you Son, but it doesn't mean I felt any less afraid or unhappy."

"You said Luthor's can't be scared, that we're not allowed the luxury. You said I have to be brave." Lex isn't so much pissed as he is confused. Right now he's too scared to be mad.

"You must be brave. I'm brave, and I wish you could feel the same way I do, but I went about things in the wrong way. Whenever I feel scared or depressed, or any other icky feeling, I thin about something else. I remember all the happy moments in my life, about you, and mommy. I try to remind myself how strong I am, and even though I'm scared on the inside, I can get through anything. That's what I should have told you, Lex. It takes a very brave person to face something they are afraid of, and I know you have that strength in you. We can get through this week, together, even if we are scared sometimes. Everything is going to be okay."

"Do you promise, Daddy? You're gonna be there to hold me and let me squeeze your fingers and make me strong? No going back to work? No leaving?" My father swore, crossing his heart, and pulling me into his arms.

/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/

"Lex, are you alright?" Lionel's voice drew me back to reality, to the present, and I slowly lifted my head to meet his blank gaze. "Very often in order for a good thing to happen we have to go through something difficult and even painful. Okay?" I found myself nodding even though I was less than sure whether or not I agreed with him. "Now promise not to interrupt or ask questions until I finish."

"I promise I'll be a good boy. Just—don't lie or jerk me around, and—try not to be any nastier than you need to be. Please?"

"Lex, I would love for you to come back to Luthorcorp and work at my side. The general public is concerned that I'm no longer a competent leader. I need you at my side. With the two of us working together, no one will be able to stop you and me."

"I thought you said this was going to be difficult. How is that painful? I mean, it's not like I wanted to be a veterinarian or a firefighter. You're basically offering me my dream job."

"Lex, I asked you not to interrupt me. I wanted to tell you the good news first, hoping to make this next bit easier to hear. This summer you organized an employee buyout, using every penny you have in attempt to break away from me. By doing this, you risked not only your future but that of every employee who went along with this plan. You betrayed my trust, stole from me, and we both know that those actions were nothing more than an expensive temper tantrum."

I wanted to scream, "I only did those things because you didn't leave me any choice!" but between the way Lionel was holding me, and rubbing my back, and the promise I had made abut keeping my mouth shut until he was done, I managed to hold my tongue just long enough for him to finish.

"Now, I understand that I may not have given you many options, but there—I, Lex…neither of us has any real trust for the other, but I think we can work on that. If—but you and I both have to change. We can't continue lying to each other about everything. No more secrets. You may argue with me now, if you don't like my plan. My first thought was, how do I know this isn't some elaborate scheme to get evidence of my weaknesses so you can use them against me?

"This truth thing goes both ways, right?" I asked, carefully removing his sunglasses in the hopes that I'd be able to look into my father's eyes and know whether or not he was telling the truth. "You're gonna stop lying to me, really stop?" I asked, hating the pitiful tone in my voice. Dad frowned, but not in an angry or disappointed way, reached up to touch my face, ever so gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing you did, Son. I'm angry at myself. I made you like this, hut you, pushed you too hard. It's my fault you don't trust me, and don't want to let me into your private life."

"Dad, stop. I want this. I like your plan. I'd really like to be able—I'd really for both of us to trust any other. Just say, you love me and promise not to lie or keep things from me any more, and I'll do the same. I love you, Dad; I love you so much." Then I really did cry, and he stood there, holding me, rubbing my back and rocking with me in his arms.

"I love you too, Lex, Son. I promise to be truthful from now on. I will never—I won't lie to you anymore. No more secrets. Never, again, alright?" my father promised, sweeping me off to his bedroom.

I barely had it in me to lift my head from his chest to nod, but somehow found the strength to raise my lips to his for a long, wet, hot kiss, allowing him to take control of everything this time. I felt my body being lifted up into the air and then rolled over onto my felly. My clothes disappeared so quickly I almost would have sworn hat Dad had secret meteor abilities he was hiding from me. Then, Lionel pushed me up on my hands and knees. Even though he did it slowly and with much care, I winced as he entered, and heard his soft apology before he continued. It was a really release when I finally came, like all of the years of arguing with my father, and being treated like crap, and all the unhappiness, hatred, and hurt that had built up inside of me was spilling out , leaving my body forever. I felt like a whole myriad of possibilities had opened up. Anything was possible. Maybe he is right, I thought. Perhaps we can overcome our problems, and be happy with each other. Father and son Luthor, together again at last. Yeah, I like the sound of that.

"Yeah Dad. I'm in if you are."

"You have no idea how glad that makes me feel, Son."

Fin I think.