Bottled Up
By: Setsuna-X
Summary: Their adventures have taken them through so much pain and their eyes have seen so much death. It's no wonder that these feelings and tears had to be let out. Ryuu x Kyuu Angst/Comfort/Romance
Warning: Talk of death and somewhat dark themes, obvious OOC
Disclaimer: Detective School Q and its characters do not belong to me—events here do.
Note(s):Events take place once Ryuu is staying with Kyuu.
"Waaah!" screamed Kyuu as he awoke, his body drenched with sweat and his heart pounding fast and loudly in his chest. He covered his face with both his hands as his body trembled. He let out a few stifled sobs as one or two tears escaped from his eyes.
"Is something wrong, Kyuu-kun?" asked Ryuu from his place on the floor, sitting up. He glanced at his friend worriedly. This had been going on for at least a week now, and if anything, he was sure that Kyuu had woken up on several occasions during one of their cases before as well.
Kyuu froze as he heard another voice in the room. He was so used to sleeping alone that sometimes when he awoke he would forget that Ryuu was on the floor. Startled, Kyuu let his hands fall limply to his lap where they clenched the sheets tightly. He turned to look at Ryuu, clearly seeing his face from the streaming moonlight and starlight from the window and was able to see the worry swirling in his eyes.
"No, no-nothing," stuttered out Kyuu. He avoided Ryuu's face, unable to lie while looking at his face directly. Ryuu looked at him dubiously, clearly not believing him. Ryuu was now fully awake and knew that until he got to the bottom of this he and Kyuu would not be able to sleep comfortably. He also couldn't bear seeing his friend being clearly tormented.
Every time Kyuu would wake up and he would question him, he never got a straight answer. Now was finally time for him to be firm and take control of the situation. Ryuu would usually hold back his questions simply because it was not his place to ask them. He was a guest at Kyuu's house, and Kyuu was also his first close friend; he was afraid to lose that. Over the time they have known each other they have seemed to become so close that they seemed to always know what the other person was thinking – always, except for now. It seemed, as there was some distance between them, like there was a wall that he was unable to climb over and meet him.
"Kyuu-kun, I can tell that something is wrong, won't you please tell me?" asked Ryuu gently. He noticed as Kyuu's eyes widened in panic. This was the first time he pursued this and he was clearly surprised.
"I-I…" Kyuu stuttered again, not sure what he was going to say. He never thought that Ryuu would push him so he never saw why he should even come up with an excuse. Now he really wished that he had. "It's fine Ryuu, thanks for asking," fibbed Kyuu while looking at his hands. Ryuu's brow furrowed in worry once again. He let out an audible sigh, looking down at the sheets that had pooled to his waist.
"Kyuu-kun, I know that you're lying to me," he began. He was about to play the guilt card and felt horrible about doing it, but if it got Kyuu to open up to him then it didn't matter what tricks he had to use. "I thought you trusted me."
"Wha-!" exclaimed Kyuu, whipping his head toward Ryuu, his eyes landing on Ryuu's downcast eyes and lowered head. "Oh course I trust you!" he cried a little too loudly.
Ryuu picked up his head and locked his eyes with Kyuu's wide ones, "Then why won't you tell me the truth and continue to hide things from me?" he asked, his voice laced with sadness.
Kyuu lowered his eyes in shame. He really had no comeback to that. He looked up again, noticing that Ryuu hadn't looked away and was staring at him intently. "I-I.. I just didn't want to worry you, that's all. It really is nothing," downplayed Kyuu.
"How can it be nothing?!" yelled out Ryuu passionately, "You've been waking up at least every other night with your clothes sweat-drenched and your breath coming in pants, as if you had been running a long distance. Please just let me know what's wrong. Or do you think I'm not good enough?" asked Ryuu as he moved closer to the bed, placing his hands on the sheet while still on his knees.
"You're plenty good enough," whispered Kyuu, unlike his usual cheerful self. He turned to get a better look at Ryuu in the darkened room. "You're plenty good enough," he whispered again, taking Ryuu's hands with his and gripping them slightly.
"Then tell me," prompted Ryuu, squeezing back.
Kyuu looked on to Ryuu's desperate and worried face, his heart swelling with thanks at all the compassion his friend was showing him. This was a completely new side to Ryuu and he was so glad that his friend trusted him enough to care enough and to be able to show him this side that he was sure no other had seen before. How could he keep this from him? And what if he had been feeling the same way as well? Maybe Ryuu really could help, even if all he did was listen.
Kyuu pulled on Ryuu's hands silently, looking into his face all the while, begging him to not be far away when he was finally going to reveal these thoughts and dreams to him. Ryuu was able to take the hint and looked clearly relieved that he was finally going to help his friend rid himself of some demons.
Ryuu climbed atop the small bed, which was only wide enough for one person to sleep comfortably. Kyuu shifted over to the foot of the bed and allowed Ryuu to settle down by having his back to the headboard. The blue haired boy looked a little uncomfortable at the position, but quickly got accustomed to it. Once Ryuu was sitting, he spread his legs to either side of the bed and Kyuu crawled towards him a little shyly, quickly settling himself in between Ryuu's spread legs with his back against his form-fitting chest.
Ryuu was a little startled once the black-haired boy managed to place himself comfortably against him, but he noticed just how neatly they fit together. Kyuu leaned his weight against Ryuu and sat there nicely while Ryuu limply held the younger detective around the waist. It wasn't a lovers embrace, but a comforting and friendly one. It was more to let Kyuu know that he was here for him.
Kyuu sighed, knowing that now that they were settled that it was time for him to finally let all his thoughts, feelings, and dreams known. Ryuu had decided that he was going to allow Kyuu talk and reveal himself at his own pace. He knew how painful it was to reveal things about oneself to others, even those called friends and confidants.
"Some times I get these dreams," began Kyuu softly, "well, more like nightmares. They don't come every night, just when something really traumatic has happened, especially during a case. Yet, lately these nightmares have been coming to me almost every other night," confessed Kyuu. It felt great to finally get that off his chest and he relaxed further into Ryuu's embrace, which had tightened just a little bit. That little tidbit gave him more confidence than if he were to tell his mother or a therapist.
Ryuu continued to be silent and listened intently to everything that Kyuu had to say.
"Hey Ryuu, do you remember that case we did in that village about the smallpox being used as a biological weapon?" asked Kyuu out of the blue.
"Huh? Oh, the case about the one village that was split in two by the fake wall and dam?" asked Ryuu, bewildered about the sudden, and what seemed irrelevant, question.
"Well, that case really shook me up," confessed Kyuu in such a low whisper that Ryuu had to lower his ear closer to Kyuu's mouth. "It was really scary. At first I was so disappointed that it was her. She was so young, around our age, and was able to commit such horrific things," said Kyuu as he lowered his head and gripped onto his ebony and ivory hair tightly, pulling the tresses slightly.
Ryuu reached over and gently removed the captured hair slowly and smoothly and continued on holding Kyuu's hand tightly. The younger detective let out another breath in order to calm himself, grateful for the cerulean-haired boy behind him.
"When I chased after her I wasn't really thinking, I know that now, but I just wanted to save her! She was raised to believe all those things, it wasn't her fault that she had to become a killer!" yelled out Kyuu in a slightly raised voice, still well aware that it was the middle of the night and he shouldn't really wake his mother.
Ryuu had to close his eyes at that moment. He still hadn't revealed his past to Kyuu about him being the future heir to Pluto and he wasn't really on planning on doing it anytime soon, only when the time was right. Tonight was solely to focus on him, not his own problems. But that comment really had hit a little close to home. He was raised to be the heir of an organization that profited and managed on how to commit the perfect murders. If anything, he was considered a killer himself for not going to the authorities over the identities and location of Pluto out of sheer selfishness. He was afraid of losing all his newly made friends and his recently acquired freedom. No, he couldn't tell Kyuu that, but maybe one day he would.
"You guys never did find out what happened in there, did you?" asked Kyuu, somewhat rhetorically.
"No, not really. We just knew that she took the bottle of the small pox virus with her and that after ten minutes you and Kinta come out with her knocked out," responded Ryuu. Truthfully he had been wondering what had happened, but despite the somewhat happy outcome of the situation he was able to see the slightly haunted look in their eyes.
"The thing is, she was ..she was willing to sacrifice herself all for the sake of keeping the truth about the village safe. And since she wasn't able to do that she decided to kill herself with that virus," continued on Kyuu, becoming relieved every moment he revealed a different event. "She was going to smash the bottle on the ground, causing it to shatter and allow the virus to spread through the air, all to cover up that stupid secret about the villages!"
Ryuu had let out and gasp when he heard how close his friend had almost died. He was about to ask him something more, but stayed silent as Kyuu started again.
"Kinta was able to slam through the side of the wall and stopped her. I don't think I ever feared that much for my life than I did that moment," he confessed as he shivered slightly. Ryuu let go of his hand gently and wrapped his arms around the younger boy tightly.
"I used to dream about that a lot after that happened, but I've come to learn to accept it and be able to move on, although it does come back every often, or mixes in with other dreams. In those nightmares, I end up feeling the same helplessness, the same.. same fear for my life, and it's so horrible," wailed Kyuu as his voice became choked up and tears began forming in his eyes. This was turning out to be harder than he first thought.
"Shh, it's okay," whispered Ryuu lightly in his ear, tickling it slightly in the process. He tightened his hold once more, giving Kyuu a soft squeeze and nuzzled the younger detectives' neck with his nose.
Kyuu was stunned silent. He had never known that Ryuu could be so compassionate and caring. It was true that they were very close friends, but even so, he never really showed any kind of human affection. It was rare to see him smile, or to see his face light up with happiness that him being this affectionate and showing it was simply amazing. Maybe he wasn't able to express himself freely because of his past, or of the way he grew up. One of these days Kyuu vowed that he would learn all the truth about his friend.
Ryuu froze once he realized what he had done. He was never comfortable at showing his emotions, and even now they hardly filtered into his expressions and motions. However, this was different, He finally had a friend that cared enough for him to not only search through the whole city, despite how helpless the action might have been, but who also opened and welcomed him into his home with no questions asked. He was never asked to leave or had his past pried from him; so he could stand to show this person all this affection that he normally wouldn't
"Um, well," continued on Kyuu, a little thrown off because of all the affectionate gestures. It was making it a bit difficult to vent all he had stored up. "One dream that actually keeps reoccurring to me is that time that Meg and I were both trapped in the prison-like room under the school. Ryuu," said the younger detective as he lowered his head again and tears really began to pool into his eyes in earnest. "I almost killed Meg," he whispered so low with his voiced full of shame.
"What?!" exclaimed Ryuu, not really sure he heard him correctly. 'Killed Meg? How!?'
Kyuu just continued on calmly, as if he didn't hear Ryuu's loud exclamation in his ear. He was fully entrenched in that memory if the shaking in his body was anything to go by. "I was the one that urged her to come with me. She begged and pleaded for us to just leave the place alone, or to at least get an adult to come with us, but I was stubborn and I know that my curiosity got the best of me since I always like a good mystery," he said, letting out a choked sob.
Ryuu didn't know what to say. It was true that Kyuu had urged Meg to come with him, but that didn't mean that he had wanted to put Meg's life in danger. "It wasn't your fault, Kyuu," said Ryuu warmly.
"Yes it was!" said Kyuu in a raised voice, still careful of his surroundings, "If it wasn't for me we wouldn't have been there in the first place, then she wouldn't have been poisoned and almost died!" he continued to exclaim.
"Yes, but it wasn't you who let the snake in, and it wasn't you who locked the door so you wouldn't get out. Not only that, but your life was in danger too and you didn't even think about that for a second. And you never gave up. I know that you must have searched frantically through that room until you finally came up with the idea to use the flashlight and faucet as a signal. That was very smart of you Kyuu, and it saved both your lives," honestly returned Ryuu.
"B-But…" tried to argue Kyuu.
"It wasn't your fault," stated Ryuu strongly and bluntly. "I was so scared when we couldn't find you," he confessed. "Everyone was really. You were both so late and we knew that it shouldn't have taken you that long to clean the school area. To tell you the truth I was more frantic about finding you than Meg,' said Ryuu, somewhat shamefully.
"What?!" exclaimed Kyuu, not sure that he had heard that right. "But why?"
"Because," began Ryuu, his face burning a little bit, "You just mean more to me than she does. I like her too, don't get the wrong idea, I still consider her a nice person and a caring friend, but I just seem to be able to connect with you better and I feel that you would be able to understand me more than she does, that's all," he said, his face completely burning once he was through.
Kyuu was a little annoyed at how little regard it seemed that Ryuu had for Meg, but deep down he was so happy that he was able to relate and help out Ryuu so much. He really liked the taller detective and couldn't help but feel completely safe in his arms. By the end of his mental tirade Kyuu was almost as crimson as Ryuu.
"Oh, well, I consider you an irreplaceable friend too. Best friend in fact. I really can't see myself confessing all this to someone other than you," conceded Kyuu.
Ryuu wasn't sure how much more red his face could get at the moment.
"You know, I guess there were still some happy memories around those cases, ne?" continued Kyuu as if he hadn't revealed such a deep feeling about his friend. "I mean, although we faced death and saw so much death too, there were some memories that make those events a little better."
"I guess you're right," responded Ryuu, calming down somewhat. He was just so relaxed with having Ryuu in his arms. It was so comfortable as if that had always been doing this, and he had to admit that he could get used to it too.
Kyuu quickly sobered up. There were still so many things that he wanted to confess to the older detective about, but the atmosphere did not seem right anymore. Besides, if he had already confessed this much he was sure that doing it again might not be so hard, especially since he got to see Ryuu's exceptionally comforting and caring side.
"Remember that time we went diving to figure out who had killed the doctor?" asked Kyuu out of the blue once again.
"Yes," responded Ryuu evenly, not sure where this was going.
"Thanks a lot for helping me through it. You held my hand to make sure I stayed with you and would stray away. And even when I was running out of air, since I had wasted so much already, you loaned me yours without a second thought, so I guess I just really wanted to say thanks for that," cheerfully said Kyuu, almost like his old self.
Ryuu's face had heated up again because of the embarrassing praise. He was glad that Kyuu was finally able talk to him freely and was comfortable enough with his situation regarding his dreams at the moment to laugh so freely.
Kyuu didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it was the calming atmosphere, the warm chest he was lying upon, the tight and safe arms wrapped around his waist, or the moonlight streaming lightly from his window onto Ryuu's pretty face, but whatever it was changed their whole out look at one another.
Kyuu turned around slowly, tilting his head back until he and Ryuu were looking directly at one another. "Thanks," he whispered one more time before leaning in and sealing their lips in a sweet, endearing kiss. Ryuu was stunned speechless as his eyes widened from the feel of those slightly dry lips upon his own. But they were so soft, and they pressed gently against his own that his eyes soon closed of their own accord. He pressed his own lips upon Kyuu's and decided that it didn't feel bad at all.
Kyuu pulled away slowly and locked his eyes with Ryuu. He knew that this changed some things between them, but right now he wasn't too worried about it, especially since Ryuu had pressed his own lips against his.
"Lets go to sleep, maybe we can salvage a few hours of tonight," said Kyuu, already letting out a long yawn.
Ryuu was too stunned to think clearly, but the yawn was contagious and he found himself nodding in agreement. The two boys shifted around the bed until they found a comfortable position. Kyuu was sprawled across Ryuu, his head tucked underneath the blue-haired teen's chin. Ryuu had his arms wrapped around Kyuu's waist tightly as he snuggled within the warmth from their two bodies. The two boys then found their legs entangled with one another, but figured they would stay that way since it was comfortable.
And with that, they both fell asleep with out nightmares haunting them, nor with pasts they couldn't escape; just two boys who happened to see a lot of hardships and death in their young lives, but were able to relax and let go of those burdens once wrapped around together.
The End --
A/N: I've been wanting to write this fic ever since I finished seeing all the episodes of DSQ. I just think that with kids that young, seeing so much death and almost dying themselves would have more problems than they let on. I swear they're going to grow up seeing therapists when they're older. Also, I wanted to write a little Ryuu x Kyuu romance in here because there simply aren't enough of those around for my tastes. And has anyone else noticed just how gay they actually seem in the anime! I mean, one of the first times they spoke to each other they were both blushing for no reason.. and other scenes (I'm not naming them since there are so many.
Well, anyway, I wanna thank everyone who's read this fic through to the end. Please let me know what you thought.
Laters.