Technophobe V- It Just Keeps Going

Summary- Magneto gives the boys camera phones, and then they go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.

Disclaimer- Pyro and his ilk are the creation of His All-High Greatness Stan Lee. They are not mine; I simply borrow them and I promise to put them back on the shelf when I'm done.

A/N- I would like to apologize to every reviewer and the rest of my readers. I promised this a while back, but then I lost the paper this was written on and I only just found it the other day, and then I was too lazy to finish typing it.

Magneto had given his Acolytes cell phones. He said that it was so that he could transmit orders to them faster and easier. He had even sprung for camera phones. Now wasn't that nice of him?

Pyro thought so. He loved his new cell phone and was quick to make his friends wish he didn't.

"Smile, Rem!" he called cheerfully as he pointed the camera at Gambit. Gambit scowled.

"Put dat phone down, Pyro, before you get hurt."

"That's silly, mate. Why would I get hurt playing with a phone?"

Gambit loomed over him with an evil look. Pyro stepped back.

"I gotcha, no more pictures."

He flipped his phone closed and clipped it to his belt.

Well, anyway," he said cheerfully, "At least now I have something new to play with."

"Yeah, until it blows up," Gambit added with a smirk. "Now come on. We've got some time off while the boss is in Greece on vacation."

"Where are we going, Gambit?" Piotr asked, following obediently like a puppy. (Awe, poor Petey. No direction in life.)

"We're going to New Orleans," Gambit said. "Gambit wants to see the Mardi Gras parade."

"Weeeee, Mardi Gras!" Pyro exclaimed happily, bouncing around like a hyperactive mutt. "Beads, booze, and boobies! All things starting with 'b'!"

He didn't make that up. He'd seen it on Gambit's Mardi Gras poster.

Gambit smacked Pyro in the back of his adorable blonde head as he danced by.

"That's not what Mardi Gras is about, Stupid," he said angrily.

"It's not?" Pyro rubbed his head in confusion.

"No. There's also music and floats."

"Weeee, floats!" He resumed his dance, reminding the Authoress of her dog when he thinks its playtime.

They arrived in New Orleans early. Gambit said that it was so they could beat the rush and also because he wanted to visit a friend of his.

Pyro eyed the boat suspiciously. It was one of those flat numbers with a fan on the back. He wasn't very sure how he felt about the safety factor of a boat like this one.

"Are you sure about this mate? He asked, hanging back in fright. "It doesn't look very safe." He cowered like a puppy.

"It'll be fine." Remy picked him up and threw him onto the boat. "Gambit used to use this boat all de time." He stepped onto the boat, followed by Colossus. "And you're wearing a life jacket, so even if you fall out we'll be able to swing around and grab you."

"Well… if you're sure…" He climbed gingerly into the center of the boat and sat down. "But if I fall out an' drown, I'm so hauntin' you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go."

Gambit started the boat and they were off.

Pyro stopped cowering about eight seconds into the ride.

"Hey, this in't so bad!" he called to Piotr, who was looking ill. "It's actually kind of fun!"

He stood to talk to Gambit just as Gambit steered clear of a log. Pyro lost his balance and went flying off the boat. Gambit swore softly.

"Gambit jus' don' know what he gonn' do wit' dat boy. He jus' don' listen, Gambit tol' him not to stand up." He turned the boat around and headed in Pyro's direction.

Pyro had fallen into the water about fifty feet away. He was shivering and he glared at Gambit as the other Acolytes hauled him back into the boat.

"I told you this thing wasn't safe," he said. "Now I'm cold and wet and I hurt where I hit the water and thought for sure that I was gonna get eaten and I was so scared that you wouldn't come back for me!"

He huddled in the middle of the boat and used his fire to warm and dry himself. He was still complaining the whole time.

"Pyro, if you don't stop complaining, Gambit gonna throw you back into the swamp. And Gambit know where the alligators live."

Pyro shut up immediately.

[pop

"What was dat?"

[popop

"There it is again, mate."

[crikcrikfssssss

"I believe it is coming from your pocket, Pyro."

Pyro reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It was sparking and fizzing and cracking ominously.

"I think it's gonna explode," Pyro said stupidly.

"Gambit agree wit you." He took the phone from Pyro and threw it. It sailed through the air and exploded just before hitting the water.

Piotr grabbed Pyro and Gambit to stop them from flying out of the boat as the resulting waves rocked their boat. Once the water calmed down he let them go. Pyro stood up looking excited.

"Did you see the size of that explosion, mate!" he exclaimed. There was a manic glint in his eyes. "It was HUGE!!!"

"Gambit saw. What Gambit don't see is how a little bitty cell phone made such a large explosion."

"It is the Ironic Overpower, Gambit," Colossus explained. "Anything electronic that Pyro owns or comes in contact with will inevitably explode."

Gambit nodded and rounded on Pyro.

"Gambit can't believe you blew up your cell phone, Pyro. You just got it!"

"Well actually, mate…" Pyro backed away sheepishly and looked up at Gambit with eyes fully twice their full size, looking for all the world like a puppy on crack.

"What's wrong, Pyro?"

"Well, y'see, mate, that was actually your cell phone. See I knew something would happen so I left mine in the hotel room."

"You did WHAT?!?!" Gambit loomed over Pyro while Pyro cowered behind Piotr, looking up at Gambit like a kicked puppy.

"That isn't gonna work on me this time! I had some very important phone numbers in that phone!" Gambit was even too furious to talk in the third person.

"Aw, come on, Mate, don't be like that!" He made himself as small as possible behind Piotr. The metal man edged away, leaving Pyro to Gambit's mercies. "Don't leave me, Petey!"

"I am sorry, Pyro. But Gambit is not angry at me."

Gambit grinned evilly. Pyro cowered. Gambit grabbed Pyro's collar and lifted him up and-

[Due to the nature of it's content and the rating of this fic, the Authoress has decided not to print this particular scene. Instead, here's a bunny to look at.

(\/)

( )

Meanwhile, in Greece…

Magneto opened the letter Gambit had sent him.

'Boss-

Pyro exploded my cell phone. I need a new one.

-Gambit'

Magneto tossed the letter into the trash and leaned back in the hot tub.

"Ahhh… a much needed vacation."

A/n- Oooh, lot's of puppy analogies. I'll have the next and final installment up as soon as I finish typing it. I'm also going to get to work on the other story that goes along with this one and I might write about Magneto's vacation as well. Plus, there's another story I started a while back that belongs in the same story continuum as this one called 23 Stories About Bayville, and I'll be putting up the first chapter of that one soon. Of course, by soon I mean whenever I get around to it, but I'll try to get it before I start school in January and really don't have time.

But I'm rambling.

Toodles!