A/N: For Kakashi's birthday. He totally knows he wants it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But, Bob-dammit, I claim KakaShizu as MINE!!

In the Know

As Genma had priorly warned him, Kakashi found that Shizune was just not meant for seduction.

When it came to dealing with a drunken Sannin, she was ahead of her game. When it came to loyalty, honesty, steadfastness and all of that other noble bullshit, she was just fine and dandy. She would stand by her village and partially-crazed mentor with a true and brave heart. She could be extremely deadly with those poison rocket thingies in her arms (once you found out what she actually HID under those bulky robes of hers).

But when it came to the sexual excitement of a man, Kakashi had to be blunt:

"You suck."

Choking, indignant sounds. "Excuse me?!"

Kakashi leaned forward over his book, closer to her flushed face. She had knelt in front of him as he was resting against a tree just outside of the gates of Konoha. "You heard me."

Shizune glared for a moment before crossing her arms childishly and... was that a pout he spied?

"You're so... so..." she threw her hands in the air at him. He blinked.

"Mean?"

"YES!"

"Rude?"

"Yes!!"

"Cruel?"

"Yes!"

"Truthful?"

"Ye-- OOH, you!" she cursed, falling back on her rump and kicking at him. He leaned to the side, her foot missing him by a near mile. She silently fumed, and Kakashi found himself praying-- the only real female excperience he had was with the overly-tempermental Sakura. This didn't help his view on the female population as a whole.

"Need some assistance?"

Shizune, as expected, blushed. "No! I... I mean... how...?"

Kakashi gave a sort of grin-smirk thing under his mask. "Well... let's start with kissing." The woman's blush deepened. "... You have been kissed before, haven't you, Shizune-san?"

"Of course I have!" she snapped, folding her arms across her chest. Kakashi nodded.

"Then you know this." He coily brushed his fingers against hers before letting them slide together and clasp. With gentle but firm motions, he tugged her closer, until she was on her knees, kneeling over him, faces mere centimeters apart. She gave a soft, "oh!" before her face once again turned bright crimson. Kakashi chuckled. "Don't worry," he rumbled, leaning ever closer. "It's just kissing."

She wasn't too surprised that he didn't remove his mask when their faces made contact. She didn't really expect him to, though it would have been... polite. Either way, the soft fabric melded onto her lips in such a way that she was fighting to keep her eyes open just as he was. She didn't want to seem as though she was enjoying his "lesson".

His hand slipped from hers and into her hair, bringing her closer until she completely lost balance and tumbled into his lap. The contact of flesh-on-cloth was broken as she squeaked out an unheeded apology and scrambled to remove their tangled limbs. Shizune was stopped dead when he chuckled again, and grabbed her arm.

"Now where," he said, a finger dragging the dark gray fabric around his mouth downward until it pooled around his throat, "do you think you're going, Shizune-san?"

She blinked rapidly before blushing a dark (and, in her mind, quite hideous) scarlet. "A... ah... no where, Kakashi-san."

He grinned and her stomach exploded with uncontrollable butterflies. She almost felt faint when he wrapped his legs around her waist and dragged her toward him. "Lesson number two-- don't be afraid, even if it's more than 'just kissing'," he said, nipping along her jawline. She froze.

"W-wait!" Shizune's voice was higih pitched, and she shivered. "Aren't you going a l-little fast?!"

Kakashi looked up and gave her another heart-stopping grin. "You don't want this to drag on, do you, Shizune-san? Surely you have duties to attend to..." He buried his face into her neck, lips dragging along the soft, smooth flesh. "Am I right?" His voice reverberated through her skin and goosebumps crawled through her arms.

"Y-you're..."

"Hmm?" he hummed, meeting her eye to eye.

"You're shameless," she croaked, poking an accusing finger at his chest. He laughed, and tapped her forehead with his.

"It's my birthday." He gave a wicked grin. "I'm allowed to be."

I was looking for love
In all the right places
He was flirting with me
And Lord I had to flirt back

-Sugababes, 'Nasty Ghetto'

Yah, so, n e waiz, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PERVY! I HEART JOOOOO!!! (Shame on you readers if you didn't remember!)

-Bya