After the whole Stacey fiasco, you thought it would be best to try to focus on the positive to try to keep House's spirits up. So you talk to him a lot about his upcoming session with his new prosthetic and about how much better things were going to be when he could walk again. In retrospect though, it might not have been as good of an idea as you thought because when House rolled into that therapy room a week later, he was determined to leave it on two feet and failure just wasn't an option.
House begged you to be there that morning and you knew it was a double edged sword he was handing you. If he did walk today (and it was an insurmountable if) then you of course wanted to be there to see it. But if he fell (which was more of a when than an if) then you would both hate yourself for being there. Still, when it came time, you walked in beside him, hand on his shoulder and an encouraging smile on your face.
"Good morning Dr. House, Dr. Wilson." His physical therapist, the tiny blonde whose name was Jayna but whom House referred to as 'Minnie', greeted you as you walked in. You smiled and greeted her back but House had no time for pleasantries.
"Where's my leg?" He barked.
"Right over here." Jayna walked over to a table and pulled the prosthetic off of it.
As soon as you got a good look at it, you know it'll never do. The leg looked more like a piece of machinery with its steel gray color and exposed hardware and you wondered if there's a way to paint flames on it.
House had rolled over to the table while you were pondering paint jobs and Jayna began to show him how to attach the limb.
"Now it's going to be uncomfortable when you first start, but once you develop a good callus the discomfort should be minimal." She explained as she rolled House over to the walking bars.
"Yeah yeah yeah, let's take this baby for a test run." House urged.
"Let's work on standing first and then maybe we'll see about taking a few steps." House rolled his eyes as Jayna helped him up out of the wheelchair. "Now hold onto the bars to steady yourself and just get used to standing on it."
As soon as House set his feet on the floor, you knew there could only be trouble ahead.
"How does it feel Dr. House?" Jayna asked.
"It's fine." He growled and you could tell by the white in his knuckles and veins showing in his arms that he was anything but. "Now let's move." You watched the skepticism wash over Jayna's face.
"Let's just focus on getting use to standing on it. Walking will come soon enough."
"I said I'm fine. I can do it." He insisted.
"Don't push it, House." You said, finally interfering. He shot you a look that simply said, 'Back Off'.
"I'm ready! I can do this!" He snapped. The physical therapist looked back over her shoulder at you for some kind of guidance as to how to proceed. You just shrug. If House has his mind set on this, then the only thing that was going to stop him was his own broken body.
"Alright," She conceded with a sigh as if she wasn't completely comfortable with this. "When you're ready, step off with your left leg then lift the prosthetic-don't try to bend it right now-and put it back down gently. Keep both hands on the bars at all times or you'll lose your balance. That will come with time and experience." Jayna explained with extreme caution in her voice. Somehow she had enough sense to not hover by him.
The second his prosthetic leaves the ground, you knew it was all going to crashing down before your eyes and there's nothing you could do to stop it.
When the metal hits the mat, it buckles under him and gives out, sending him face first into the ground. Jayna reached him first and tried to help him but he just swung at her and screamed at her.
"Get the fuck away from me!" You knelt down on his other side and gave her a silent cue to back off.
"House, are you okay?" You asked calmly. "Did you hurt anything when you fell?" 'Besides your pride' you added in your head.
"Do not fucking touch me!" He screamed when you put your hand on his back.
"Greg, you knew this was going to take time. You didn't know how to walk right away when you were a baby and you couldn't walk right away when you had the infarction." He picked his head up off the mat and glared at you.
His face was red and wet from the sweat and tears running down it. The tears didn't surprise you as much as the look in his raging blue eyes. Pain, shame, anger, hate are expected to be there but it's the fear, disappointment and defeat that made your stomach sink.
"Do not patronize me, James. I am not one of your patients and I'm not one of your goddamn wives that you can talk down to! So don't you dare tell me what I'll have to do. You have no right, not until you lose a limb!" House slammed his fists down on the mat and threw his head back down. "Goddamnit! Just leave me alone!" You take your hand off his back, stand and head towards Jayna.
"I'm going to go get 5mg of Atavan to calm him down so we can move him. Just, let him be for now. He'll only hate you for it if you try to help him." She nodded and stayed standing in the corner to keep watch.
When you got outside the door, you leaned back against it and rubbed your eyes. You knew this was a mistake. You knew he was going to fail. You knew.
You always know.