Disclaimer; I don't own any of the characters or anything like that.

This is my first fic, so I hope you like it

Even more Confessions of Georgia Nicolson!

Chapter 1: Beaver Bereavement
I'll tell you this for free, whoever said Dave the Laugh cannot snog obviously has never snogged him.

1 minute later
If you get my nub and gist.

2 minutes later
I am a slave to his tip top snoggyness.

1 minute later
He lip nibbles and now he breathes!

1 minute later
Well, what I mean is, as well as lip-nibbling and other snoggery things, he did this beyond marvy and brillopads thing where he snogged me, and then leant back a tenth of a millimetre, and had a breathing break for a few seconds, except he was sort of breathing gently on my face, which might not sound very nice unless you have tried it (oo-er), but it is le fact that it's sensationalistic and also amazingly groovytastic. I nearly melted from jelloidosity, chums! I mean this most sincerely, it was the best ever snog I'd had in my whole entire life. Even beating (eek) Masimo. If that's poss.

1 minute later
And his breath was not a replica of a Chinese curry factory.

3 minutes later
Not that he's Chinese or anything.

1 minute later
No offence to the Fried-Rice-a-gogo folk, though. I mean you're all nice and whatsit it's just Dave is not Chinese. I'm not saying he didn't want to be Chinese but he had little say in the matter. I mean, he did not sit in his mother's womb and have a little think about whether he'd like to be Chinese or British. And that is a fact, you prats (I mean that lovingly).

1 minute later
Anyway, his breath smelt suspiciously fresh, as if he'd popped in a few mints beforehand because he knew we'd be committing a songfest.

1 minute later
What a vair naughty minx.

3 minutes later
I think I may have visited the cake shop of luuurve and instead of placing an order for Masimo the Pastry, and just stopping there, no questions asked, decided to once again rear my big and frankly rather red bottom, and ungird mine loins and have a little snog with Dave.

1 minute later
Except it wasn't just any snog.

1 minute later
After snogging me to within an inch of my life and filling me with tenseosity and puckering lips, Dave said "My trousers need readjusting." and just walked off with a little smile.

1 minute later
Erlack! He didn't mean…not as in…Blimey O'Reilly's undercrackers, and also merde!

2 minutes later
He's a cheeky minx, is Dave the Laugh. He gave me a vair naughty, but I have to admit full of sexosity look. That's when I lost my dignity and ad hoc and willy nilly. Oh merde.

3 minutes later
Walking back to the tent. The light's still on, which means all the mugs are still up and raving like loons.

1 minute later
Just as I was about to head in, RoRo and Sven appeared, looking as mad and insane as ever.

"Howdy! Me and Roddy go to play meatballs, with mine!" Sven roared. Rosie just looked at him adoringly. Then she turned back to me, her face all full of seriousosity.

"Listen, Gee, when Dave came in, he looked really sad and everything. What happened between you two?" Oh poo and merde and also thrice bum oley.

"I, er, don't know." I shrugged like a shrugging thing that had just landed in the Land of the Shrugs, where people shrugged their shoulders whilst wearing super-shrugs that had been knitted for them by their Elderly Mad and Official Loons, who were all spawns of Maisie.

Shutupshutupshutup brain!

Then Sven picked Rosie up and stamped off.

In the lads' tent
20 minutes later
Dave seems to have forgotten our little trip to the Realm of Snogs and Red-Bottomosity, because he is treating me just like he always does.

1 minute later
And he is a laugh. I really mean that most sincerely, in the most non-Sex Kitty who is a terrible minx and hears the call of the Horn and ungirds her loins and lets it all hang out (shut it) way.

10 minutes later
Jazzy Spazzy has reappeared with Tom in tow (haha), looking vair frazzled and un-Jas like. They settled in the tent but it was only a matter of minutes before she was checking her watch and having a great nervy b. and also going spazoid. She said we should turn in, because it was getting far too late, and the teachers will tell us off if they catch us.

1 minute later
Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer? Pahahahahahahaha!

1 minute later
Unfortunately, this was a cue for the other Loon Twin to start complaining and back up Jas. For the dim among us, that would be Ellen, world-renowned fool and blustering idiot.

"I mean, yeah, y'know, it's like, if they catch us, you know, if they're up, because they might, y'know, sort of, hear us, because they have, sort of, like, ears, and y'know, well, what do you think?" Ellen blinked.

I think you should bloody shut up, twit of the first waters AND beyond.

To add to this loonosity Jas was doing her famed Fiddling-mit-Fringe act, whilst giggling nervously and looking at Tom like a complete prat, which really drove me up the wall and into the sea. I had to fight the urge to slap her hand away and throw something heavy at her.

1 minute later
No, not my nungas.

1 minute later
I'll give her a stern talking to in the morning.

1 minute later
Mind you, she's vair violent and I might have to contact UNPAL again. Remember them? I'm a fully-paid member now.

1 minute later
Hahahahahaha.

1 minute later
It's amazing that I can amuse myself a great deal in such times of bereavement.

3 minutes later
Not that we're bereaving over anything. At least I think not.

1 minute later
We could be bereaving over a beaver... Actually, how about no, because that is the exact behaviour I would expect from a prat like Jas, or Ellen.

10 minutes later
Ellen and Jas have turned in, like teacher-bum-oley lickers, and Jas made a complete dolt of herself saying good night to Tom. She kissed him on the check, and giggled like a loon from the Valley of the Very Loony Loons. Then she very quickly gave him a peck on the lips, and then ran off, as if she'd done something naughty and filled with red-bottomosity. God. She's lucky she has someone as cool as ice cubes like me to keep her in check, for when she does goes completely over the edge.

2 minutes later
Ooooh no, Dave is looking at me funny! Not smiling, just sitting there, all sort of thoughtful, and gazing at me. Full on jelloidosity attack!

1 minute later
Rosie and Sven returned.

1 minute later
In actual fact, Sven landed on the tent as he threw himself bodily at it. It collapsed with us all in it and while we were all groaning and complaining in the sudden dark, we could hear him laughing like a complete nutcase. Which he is.

1 minute later
Someone has taken my hand and squeezed it! And it is not a girly hand. It is a manly hand. I think it is possibly a hand that is prone to laughing a lot, although I cannot be sure, as it is dark and squashed and I can only see blackness.

10 minutes later
Sven has ruined the tent, so the boys are going to squeeze into Tom's truck thing, whilst the rest of the (loyal and faithful and not stupid pratty teacher's pets) Ace Gang are heading back to the campsite. Quietly of course, vair quietly, creeping tiptoes, shush shush, whisper whisper, hush, creepy creepy.

1 minute later
Dave didn't say goodbye to me. Nothing. Zilcho. Not happening, Operation Glacial is now going into force.

1 minute later
Not that I mind. I mean, I'm eschewing him with a firm hand and also ignorez-vousing him because of his naughty and unacceptable behaviour.

1 minute later
Oh drat et double drat I do mind. I do want him to say goodbye to me. I want him to peck me on the check and give me a naughty smile and walk off so I've got jelloid-knees and then he can rush back and we'll have a quick visit to Numero Six and- what in the name of Slim's outsized pyjamas?!?!?!

1 minute later
I am a minx of the first waters! I am unfaithful to Masimo even in my mind! I am a terrible person and shall shut myself in a convent and become a lesbian nun who pays no attention to Luuurve or Sex Gods. Or Laugh Gods.

1 minute later
Bugger, I've done it again.

In the girls' tent
Me, RoRo and Jools are chatting in our snuggy tent. Haha. Poor Mabs. I bet she is suffering from the Loon Twins. Who does she have to talk to?

1 minute later
No-one. That is the answer.

1 minute later
Rosie surprised me and Jools by suddenly bursting out into peals of laughterosity. I think the strain of being certifiably insane is finally getting to her.

"Alright, mate, what's the occasion?" I asked, full of confusiosity. As one would be.

10 minutes later
Turns out 'Roddy' and Sven have gone to Station Full Monty!!!!

1 minute later
Number 10!!!!

1 minute later
The whole packaging, and also whiz-kaboom!!!!

1 minute later
Blimey!! So that's what they disappeared off to do, in the woods! Erlack!

1 minute later
Rosie has so kindly informed us that Sven's boxers are bright, luminous yellow. As in, they glow in the dark.

1 minute later
Wonderful.

1 minute later
Rosie said "Now Gee, obvs there is something going on vis-à-vis you and Dave the Laugh, so I'd like you to split your pantyhose and tell me all."

Hahahaha. I laughed attractively, as if she'd got her knickers in a twisty, and there was nothing going on between me and Dave.

Then Jools started nodding, and Rosie joined in, and they stared at me, nodding like a pair of nodding things with heads, until I had a ditherspaz and gave in.

I told them about me and Dave getting to Number 6, and then him saying "My trousers need readjusting" and RoRo did bulgy-eyeballs thing, and Jools mouth just dropped open like a big holey thing, so both of them obvs think the same as me, and then I told them about the 'honoury bloke, that is why I love you' fiasco, and my suspicions that he grabbed my hand in the darky squashed tenty. And then I completely cracked and told them everything that's happened between me and Dave ever. Literally, ever, since the first day I met him. Oh God.

3 minutes later
I feel a big touch of sadnosity, for some reason, and my eyes are a tad watery. Banish, you tearful tears!

5 minutes later
Rosie and Jools are, to put it lightly, astounded at mine and Dave's sneaky snogs and the like.

1 minute later
Rosie has come to the conclusion that me and Dave are completely and totally in luuurve, maybe even as much as her and Sven (erm…) and she thinks that Dave is hinting a lot at me (hahahaha you think?!?!?) but I am ignorez-vousing my feelings et hormones and instead latching myself onto Masimo because he is a God and reputation-wise I'd be le hottest girl in town.

Fair go.

1 minute later
I am pooing myself (not literally, you fule). I think everything RoRo said is completely true. That is a sad fact.

20 minutes later
Some mates they are. They've just dropped off right asleep, ignoring my boy-problems as if they were hardcore relations of Jaz le Spaz!

1 minute later
Blimey! I knew Rosie snored but Jools is like a bloody foghorn! I can't reach her, as I am squashed right up in the middle, but if I sort of swing my arm like a loon, I think I could reach Rosie.

1 minute later
I whacked her sharply on the head, and she sat straight up, her hair the original birds nest and her eyes really wide and scary and open, and she said in this Scottish voice;

"No, ducks! You can not revel in my hide!"

And then she lay back down, suddenly asleep again!

4 minute later
I do worry about her.

1 minute later
Anyway, I'll never get to sleep, not only because of Rosie and Jool's Let's-See-Who-Can-Snore-The-Loudest competition but I am in a complete frenzy over my boy-related woes. I may never drop off, and will just sit here forever, like a frozen statue, unable to move due to lack of sleep and worrying over Dave and Masimo, and then…

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Feedback and criticism welcome!