5.

Sitting in the darkness of his office House rolled a single vicodin tablet between his fingers, closing his eyes he swallowed it knowing that all the pain medication in the world couldn't take away the pain he felt. The ache in his leg was nothing compared to the indescribable feeling of complete loss that had washed over him as he had walked away from Cameron's apartment.

When Foreman was sick he had been able to get through it by doing what he always did; finding out what was wrong so he could make him better. This was different though, this was Cameron and not only did he already know what was wrong with her but he knew that even with the advances in modern medicine that there was a chance she wouldn't beat the leukaemia that was waging a war against her body.

Just the thought of her dying was enough to make him reach out for his bottle of vicodin, popping off the lid he threw 2 tablets into his mouth. He couldn't lose Cameron, coming into work without her would be like playing the piano in a silent world; there would be no point to it.

"I thought I might find you here," Wilson sighed as he sat down on the floor next to his friend.

House put the bottle of vicodin in his pocket. "Well in that case please collect your prize and leave."

"House-"

"I've got nothing to say to you," House insisted.

Wilson shook his head. "I wanted to tell you."

"Still got nothing to say to you," House reiterated.

Wilson knew that House would have something to say about him keeping Cameron's illness a secret from him but he hadn't expected this. His friend wasn't angry, he wasn't even being sarcastic instead he was just … hurt.

"Cameron didn't want anyone to know," Wilson explained, even though House had claimed he wasn't listening.

House banged his head gently against the wall. "Are you still here?"

"She was in a bad way, her red blood cells and platelet counts were in her boots and her white cell count was through the roof, she had so many white blood cells in her that there was no room for anything else, they had to put her on leukopheresis to stabilise her and add to that the pneumonia that was attacking her lungs and oxygen was having a hard time getting anywhere so she ended up needing CPAP," Wilson explained even though no one was listening to him.

Tapping his cane against his foot House stared straight ahead of him. "She looked fine when I saw her."

"She was, right up until she wasn't and from there it all went downhill fast but she was lucky she also got over the acute onset quickly, now she just has to face 3 possibly 4 cycles of high dose chemotherapy, intense pre-conditioning including total body irradiation and the gruelling effects of a stem cell transplant," Wilson informed him.

House wasn't ready to forgive Wilson but he needed to know what he knew. "They're putting her straight for transplant?"

"After high dose chemo, she's progressed so rapidly into the blast phase that her specialist is convinced it will be her best option and with her unfavourable cytogenetics it may be her only option," Wilson explained.

"What about you?" House asked.

"What about me?" Wilson wondered.

House stopped tapping his cane against his foot. "Do you think it's her best option."

"I think it's her only option," Wilson answered truthfully.

Closing his eyes House let Wilson's words sink in. "And what do you think her chances are?"

"It's hard to say," Wilson sighed. "She needs to go into remission after the high dose chemo so they can start the transplant, and then she has to fully engraft with the donor marrow and if she makes it through all that there is still a high chance she could relapse and if she does relapse-"

"It'll be the last thing she does," House finished for him.

Wilson nodded. "Not quite the way I would have put it but yes. If she relapses after transplant there is no available treatment."

"She could have told me," House muttered.

"Because you're so approachable," Wilson retorted.

Reaching in his pocket House took out his bottle of vicodin. "For over 2 years I've worked alongside her and I had no idea, there has been so many times when I should have picked up on something-"

"I'm an oncologist and I had no idea," Wilson reminded his friend.

"When does she start treatment?" House asked.

Wilson took the bottle of vicodin from House. "In a week."

"I met Cameron's brothers, I didn't know she had 1 brother let alone 3, I mean she's such a … female that I really didn't expect her to have grown up around so much testosterone," House observed.

"Ed is certainly an interesting character," Wilson smiled.

House ignored Wilson's comment. "Her mother must have been a huge influence."

"Her mother died when she was born," Wilson sighed, not sure whether or not he should be telling House this, Cameron hadn't told him not to but she hadn't exactly asked to have it broadcasted either.

"How-"

Wilson shrugged. "She was vulnerable, being scared makes people open up."

"And you just happened to be there," House scoffed.

"There is nothing going on," Wilson assured his friend. "We're just friends."

House took his bottle of vicodin back from Wilson. "Tell that to your harem of ex-wives."

"You know what I thought you deserved an explanation but I was wrong, you don't deserve anything and if Cameron has any sense she'll keep you at arms length because the last thing she needs is you bringing her down any more," Wilson raged.

Getting to his feet Wilson shook his head, he has expected House to put his own insecurities aside to understand what Cameron was going through but once again he had expected more than House could give. Stopping at the door he watched as House threw the bottle of vicodin between hands as he sat alone in his darkness of his office, turning his back on his friend Wilson left him alone with nothing but a bottle of vicodin for company and a pain it wouldn't ease.

MD-MD-MD

Dragging her feet heavily across the car park Cameron sat down on the bench, her limbs ached with the effort it had taken to get herself out of bed, dressed, in the car and drive to the hospital all the while trying desperately not wake Ed.

Minutes after Cameron sat down she spotted a familiar face exit the building, she tried to hide her face in her hands but it was no use, he had already seen her.

"Hey," Foreman frowned, sitting down next to her.

"Hey," Cameron echoed.

Putting his bag down on the bench next to him Foreman turned to face his colleague. "I heard you had gone home, something about a sick relative."

"None of my relatives are sick," Cameron replied, her voice almost robotic.

"Oh," Foreman breathed, unable to decipher what it was about her body language that was making him so uneasy.

Cameron closed her eyes, she couldn't believe how tired she was as over the past few days she had done nothing but sleep. "It's just me."

"It's just you that's what?" Foreman asked, not getting what she meant.

Cameron opened her eyes. "It's me that's sick."

"What? How?" there weren't many times that he was lost for words but this was one of them.

"Leukaemia," Cameron answered after all there was no point in trying to keep it hidden how, now when so many people now knew.

Foreman sat there a while not knowing what to say, until finally he was able to say one word. "When?"

"A few years ago," she replied putting her hands between her knees to stop them shaking.

"I … I don't understand," Foreman stuttered not getting how if she was diagnosed so long ago he was only finding out now.

Cameron was almost fed up of explaining to people, especially doctors. "I have CML."

"Why didn't you say something?" Foreman wondered.

Something inside Cameron snapped. "Why do you care? It's not like we're friends."

"That's not fair," Wilson retorted.

"Neither is stabbing me with a needle or stealing my article," Cameron raged.

Not used to seeing this side to Cameron Foreman didn't know what to say or do, he was used to Cameron playing the peacemaker and wanting everyone to get alone, he wasn't used to her being so combative.

"Cameron-"

"Surely when you're dying it gives you the chance to tell people the truth," Cameron said, cutting him off. "If I can't say this stuff now when can I say it?"

Foreman shook his head. "You're not dying."

"Not yet but even with treatment I have a what … 30 chance of beating this thing, it's hardly great odds," Cameron replied.

"How can you be so glib?" Foreman asked.

Cameron shrugged. "Why not? There's nothing like dying to make you re-evaluate your life."

"You're not dying," Foreman repeated.

"Maybe not today," Cameron sighed. "But I have leukaemia, I have months of dangerous treatment ahead of me and even then it might work and if it does I could relapse so the chances are I will die, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow-"

"Morbid much Queenie?" Jack asked coming up behind the bench.

Cameron turned to find Jack stood behind her. "Ed woke up and found you gone so he alerted the troops, I drew the hospital in the search party so here I am."

"I'm fine," Cameron almost sulked.

"I can see that," Jack dryly replied.

Cameron stood up. "You didn't have to come after me."

"No I didn't but you know what Ed's like, besides I thought if I was the person to find you it would give us a chance to talk alone, I could take you for breakfast-"

"I'm not-"

Jack shook his head. "Of course you're hungry. Now why don't you introduce me to your friend then we can ditch him and go and find somewhere that serves a decent breakfast."

"He's not my friend," Cameron snapped as she walked off leaving a stunned Foreman to deal with the fact that no only did Cameron have a life threatening illness but also the fact that despite what she might have told him previously his actions in stealing her article and exposing her with the needle seemed to have hurt her much more than he thought possible.

Shrugging his shoulders Jack threw Foreman a look that was half questioning and half apologetic before following Cameron, he caught up with her easily as she was unable to walk very fast in her weakened state.

"What's with the low mood?" Jack asked as he watched her lean heavily against the car.

Cameron shrugged. "I don't know when I woke up this morning it was like I was seeing things differently, I just felt like I needed to come here and to see everything but then I saw Foreman-"

"Foreman?" Jack questioned.

Cameron pointed over to the bench where Foreman sat looking up at the sky. "He's a guy I work with."

"But not a friend," Jack added remembering her earlier comment.

"I thought we were," Cameron sighed sadly.

Jack joined her in leaning against the car. "Then what changed?"

"Stuff," Cameron breathed.

"Could you be any more vague," Jack smiled.

Cameron looked over to where Foreman sat. "I wrote an article and before I had a chance to publish it he stole my idea and published his first, when I confronted him over it and told him that it didn't matter that I valued our friendship more he told me we weren't friends and that we would never be anything more than colleagues."

"Ouch," Jack frowned. "Want me to go and hit him?"

"No," Cameron smiled. "Then he got exposed to a mystery illness one of our patients had and when our boss wouldn't let me search the apartment he stabbed me with a needle covered in his blood so I was exposed and I would have more motive to search the apartment."

"Ok now I really want to hit him," Jack said clenching his fists to keep himself from doing just that.

Cameron shook her head. "Then when he got worse he made me his medical proxy he apologised for stealing my article and said we were friends and that he trusted me to make the decisions he couldn't."

"What's changed now?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," Cameron sighed. "It's … I … when I saw him just now it was like I suddenly realised that everything he had done had been selfish and that he probably wouldn't have apologised if he hadn't have got sick, I don't need people like that in my life right now."

Jack could see exactly where she was coming from. "You also don't need to be morbid and dead set on dying."

"I don't want to die," Cameron assured her brother.

"Then why so morbid this morning?" Jack wondered.

Cameron looked down at the ground. "Because dying is a reality that I might have to face and I don't want to wake up one day and suddenly have to accept it, if it's always there at the back of my mind then if it comes to that stage it will be easier."

"Do you really believe that?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Cameron stuttered not entirely sure that she really did.

Jack shook his head. "I don't, I believe in you though and I believe that if you don't allow death to be part of the equation it will help you through this, just concentrate on fighting."

"You sound like a motivational speaker," Cameron teased.

"Being … war isn't as horrible as everyone thinks it is; it can be worse, you make friends with people knowing that at any second you could die or they could die or that you could all die and living like that it starts to get you down, while I was over there I lost people that I came to be close to and if it hadn't of been for what I knew I had waiting for me back here I wouldn't have got through it, coming home to my family, to you, that helped me survive just like beating this thing so you can maybe one day have a family of your own will help you survive," Jack said, whispering the last part as his voice gave out.

Cameron looked up at her brother. "Jack?"

"Yeah?" he asked through his tears.

"I love you," Cameron breathed as she wrapped her arms around him.

Returning the hug Jack pulled her into him. "I love you too Queenie. Now what do you say we phone Ed and let him know you're safe before he gets the FBI after you and then we go and get some breakfast?"

"Sounds like a plan," Cameron smiled as she opened the passenger seat and climbed into her car. "What about your car?"

"I don't have a car, I walked," Jack told her as he took the keys from her and climbed into the passenger seat.

Cameron looked at him teasingly. "You do still have a license though don't you only I've seen the way you drive."

"Very funny," Jack said as he started the car and headed away from the hospital hoping that his sister's dark mood was left behind them.

MD-MD-MD

Entering the office Chase found Foreman sat in near darkness with only the light from outside to offset the total darkness.

"Who died?" he joked taking off his bag and throwing it on one of the chairs.

Foreman looked up, his eyes heavy with the lack of sleep. "In a hospital that's not funny."

"Sorry," Chase apologised.

"Have you spoken to Cameron since she took off?" Foreman asked, wondering how much Chase knew.

Frowning Chase shook his head. "No. Why?"

"No reason," Foreman lied.

"What's with the darkness?" Chase asked. "Did House blow up another MRI and now Cuddy needs to save money to replace it?"

Entering the office House made his way straight over to the whiteboard. "Yes and phase 2 of the money saving plan is to fire you."

"I see everyone is in a great mood today," Chase muttered under his breath.

"And I see you just got poop duty," House retorted.

Chase looked up at his boss. "Poop duty?"

"Our patient has been having bloody diarrhoea so you get to collect it, sift through it for debris - apparently our intellectually challenged teenager has a habit of swallowing stolen items - and then you get to run it through every test you can think of to find out what the problem could be," House explained.

Standing up Chase looked from Foreman to House and then back to Foreman taking in their matching frowns. "Lucky me."

"When did you find out about Cameron?" House asked when he and Foreman were alone.

"Yesterday morning," Foreman replied. "You?"

House hit his cane against the whiteboard ignoring the question. "How did she seem?"

"Angry," Foreman simply replied.

House raised his eyebrows at that, anger was an emotion that he rarely associated with Cameron. "With anyone in particular or just the situation?"

"With me," Foreman sighed.

"You? I thought the 2 of you were all puppies and flowers now following your near death," House said.

Foreman shrugged. "I thought we were alright but apparently Cameron's been harbouring some resentment, and I can't say I blame her I've done nothing but act selfishly towards her."

Feeling uneasy having such a emotional talk with Foreman House walked across the room. "As fun as it is sitting here being all deep and meaningful I've got lives to save and you've got clinic hours to complete."

"You've got clinic hours to complete," Foreman corrected.

"Not today," House told him. "Today you get to go down in clinic and play Dr. House."

MD-MD-MD

Standing in the doorway Cameron couldn't help but laugh as she watched her 3 brothers sat in a row on the couch all shouting at the TV screen as they watched the basketball.

"Got room for a small one?" she asked stepping into the lounge.

"Always," Billy smiled moving up so she could sit in between him and Ed.

Making herself comfortable Cameron leaned her head on Billy's shoulder. "How long have you 2 been here?"

"I arrived a few hours ago," Jack answered. "Billy arrived just in time for the game."

"Since when did my apartment become a gentleman's club?" Cameron teased.

Ed laugh taking a mouthful of his tea. "I made them leave the beer and cigars at the door, it's coffee, tea and juice only beyond this point."

"Glad to hear it," Cameron smiled,

"Has Ed got around to doing the shopping again?" Jack asked.

Cameron shook her head. "No, he's slipping in his domestic duties."

"You need to train him better Queenie," Billy added.

Laughing Cameron couldn't help but feel that while she had her brothers here everything was going to be alright and that she would be able to overcome anything that was thrown at her over the coming months.

"What do you say I order takeout?" Cameron offered.

"And you'll be paying?" Billy asked in mock surprise.

Cameron nodded. "Of course."

"Wow, I didn't realise it was a month of Sundays," Jack joked.

"Queenie putting her hand in her purse, there really is a first time for everything," Ed added.

Picking up a cushion Cameron threw it at Billy. "Really funny, you 3 should take the show on the road. Now do you want takeout or not?"

"Takeout sounds good," Ed replied.

Standing up Cameron opened the drawer to her bureau. "So I have, Thai, pizza, Chinese or Indian."

"Pizza," Billy suggested.

"Chinese," Jack replied.

"Indian," Ed wanted.

Cameron couldn't help but laugh as they all answered something different at the same time. "Well I get the deciding vote and I say Thai."

"Thai it is," Ed smiled, rolling his eyes.

Shaking his head Jack stood up. "Now that's more like it; Queenie getting her own way."

"Get used to it," Cameron teased as she grabbed the phone before sitting back down and handing the menu to Billy. "Now hurry up and choose because I'm hungry."

Someone knocking on the front door cut the teasing short as Ed grabbed the menu from Billy. "I'll get it," Jack offered.

"It's my place I'll get it," Cameron said getting back up from the sofa.

As Cameron headed to the door her 3 brothers couldn't help but share a smile, it seemed that she was finally getting back not only her energy but also her spirit while all the time trying to forget that in just under 48 hours she would have to check back into the hospital to start her chemo.

Opening the door Cameron found herself lost for words as she came face to face with her father for the first time since her nephew's christening.

"D … Da … What …"

"Is Jack here?" Tom Cameron asked.

Cameron nodded, not trusting herself to say anything.

Inside all 3 brothers headed for the door as they heard the familiar stern tone of their father.

"What are you doing here?" Ed asked.

Tom looked between his 3 sons avoiding his daughter. "I went to Billy's as planned only he wasn't there, at first Karen was evasive but then she let slip about Jack being back I finally managed to get it out of her that you were all here, the only thing I couldn't get from her was why."

"Dad now isn't the time," Jack said, the last thing he wanted was to ruin his sisters mood, he wanted the next 2 days to be as carefree as possible for her.

"I haven't seen you in months and when you finally are back in the country you don't even ring me," Tom chastised turning his attention to Jack.

Jack shook his head. "Everything isn't always about you, I had other things on my mind."

"Listen why don't you all go get something to eat and catch up," Cameron suggested not wanting things to escalate.

"No," Ed insisted. "We had plans to get takeout so we're going to get takeaway."

Running her hand through her hair Cameron threw a sideways glance at her father before turning to face Ed. "Actually I'm not feeling that well so I'm going to go back to bed."

"Not feeling well?" Ed repeated trying to stop himself from getting alarmed. "Maybe we should-"

Cutting him off Cameron help up her hand. "I'm just tired, it's nothing."

Ed could see the pleading in his sister's eyes and he could see that there was more to it than she was letting on.

Grabbing hold of her wrist he gently led her towards the bedroom. "Queenie-"

"I'm fine I'm just … I can't deal with this right now and probably for longer than right now so please just take him out for some food, get Jack to play the blue eyed boy routine and then send him back home," Cameron pleaded.

"Ok but if you need anything-"

"I'll call," she assured him as she slumped down on the bed, listening as everyone left leaving her on her own for the first time in days. Lying against the pillows Cameron couldn't help but wish that for the first time in her life it had been her that her father had come for.