A/N Thanks to reviewers:
Random-laughter: I'm sorry it's finishing!! But don't worry, there's always the sequel to look forward to hehe!!! And yeah, I couldn't really finish it without them having done anything like that, could I?!
Fufu.a.k.a.speechless: I'm glad they know too, cos I wrote it hehe! Yeah, I thought Christmas was a good time for them to do it!
LoveYouLoveMe: Hehe, glad I did the scene ok! It's good like that isn't it!
MagicalWinry: ok! Lol!
HarryPotter's-angel: Omg! How could I make such a rubbish mistake!!! Oh wells… I'm really sorry, and of course they got away, but only because of my mistake!! Poo… Glad you liked it anyway. Thanks for reviewing!
Changing Lies
Harry and Draco landed with a thump on the floor in the dusty Grimmauld Place. Draco began to snigger as he stood up, wiping himself off, but Harry stayed on the floor, everything seeming to fall into place in his head.
"Oh," Hermione was at the door to the living room. She turned and called back into the room, "It's ok, it's only Harry and Draco," She turned back to face Draco, "What's so funny? Where've you been?"
"We were at the Manor," Draco said airily, "We just escaped Death Eaters again."
"What?" She said incredulously, walking closer to him. She didn't seem to notice Harry on the floor until she tripped over his leg. "Oh, Harry! Are you ok?" She asked.
Harry was staring intently at the floor; his scar was beginning to burn again. He guessed the Death Eaters had just told Voldemort the 'bad' news.
"Yeah," He replied absent-mindedly, standing up, "I need to have a shower…"
Harry started towards the stairs, but Draco took hold of his arm. "Are you ok?"
"I just said yes!" Harry snapped. Draco let go of his arm immediately. "I want to be alone; leave me for one moment, please!"
As he stalked off up the stairs, he heard Hermione whisper below him, "He never says 'moment'; I think it's probably just Voldemort again. Leave him be."
Harry sped into the bathroom on the first floor and slammed the door behind him. He shook his head, it wasn't Voldemort this time. He was completely confused, and yet thoughts that he knew were correct were spinning around his brain.
The Death Eaters had known Harry would be at Malfoy Manor that day; all because of a stupid dream he had the night before. He remembered waking up and saying to Ron, 'you know how to ruin someone's dreams,'. He had been dreaming about Draco and himself in the Manor – Voldemort must have seen it.
But then, as Harry stepped into the steaming shower, another thought occurred to him. Draco had almost been killed: again. And yet again, it was Harry's fault. It was always Harry's fault. If Draco wasn't in love with him, Harry was totally sure that he wouldn't have had three near death experiences.
And it was obvious that Draco was getting used to them as well. The first time they had been caught out outside the Manor, Draco was white as a sheet and terrified when they returned to Grimmauld Place; the second time, after Harry, Ron and Hermione rescued him, well, Harry wouldn't know what he had been like, but he expected tougher than that. And now – now he was laughing about almost being killed! No one should get used to near death experiences, no matter how many you have…
It had to stop.
Harry stepped out of the shower and conjured a towel to dry himself with, telling himself that he had to talk to Draco and make him see sense, before it was too late.
Harry lay awake in his bed, feeling rather lonely. Lying next to Draco in bed six hours previously had been amazing. Feeling his warm, steadily moving body against his as he tried to fall asleep. It was like they had been doing it for months; lying with each other, completely content with the other's company and steady breathing.
Harry sighed. He couldn't possibly be thinking things like these right now, after he had made such a difficult decision earlier. Of course, five hours ago Draco was back in the living room with everyone else, and Harry couldn't take him away to talk to him. He got frustrated and decided it was easier to go to bed, and tell him tomorrow. But an hour later he still wasn't asleep, and why? Because thoughts of his beautiful new lover kept interrupting him.
He jumped as the door to his bedroom suddenly opened and he saw the silhouette of who he thought was Draco entering the room.
Harry stayed silent for as long as it took for Draco to join him in his bed, cuddling up closely, so close that Harry felt the air streaming out of Draco's nose.
A hand came from no where and placed itself on Harry's chest, which jolted at the sudden touch.
"You're awake?" Draco whispered. "Did I wake you?"
"No," Harry replied quietly, "I can't sleep. I was missing you." He rolled his eyes after saying this, it just made the situation more difficult.
"Same here," Draco said, "I'm beginning to think I'm obsessed with you."
He nuzzled his head into Harry's neck, but Harry pulled away.
"What's wrong?" Draco asked.
"I… We need to talk," Harry said with difficulty.
"Ok…" Draco replied worriedly.
Harry took a deep breath in and started to talk, slowly at first, but he felt as thought he got faster as he went on: "You shouldn't… You remember that promise you made to me today? About keeping safe for me? Well, I want you to keep that promise, and being with me isn't going to make that easy for you."
"What do you mean?" Draco asked.
Harry sighed quickly and suddenly jumped out of the bed.
"I don't want to be with you," He said quickly.
Pause. Harry shook as he waited for a reply in the freezing air outside of his bed covers.
"I beg your pardon?" Draco finally whispered.
"I said, I don't want to be with you; it's not safe," Harry repeated.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Draco retorted.
"I'm not, I'm being totally serious," Harry said truthfully. "Look, you almost died today, for the third time since we've been friends, I won't let it happen again. You need to keep away from me, Draco, well away…"
"Harry, calm down," Draco said, "As long as I've got you to look after me, then what does it matter?"
"I…" Harry had no idea how to get out of that one. It was true; no matter where Draco was, Harry knew that if he was in danger he'd go and help. But the point was, he didn't want to have to help, because he didn't want Draco to ever be in danger. But how could he make Draco see that now without lying?
And then it hit him. As he stood in the cold, dusty room, he made another decision. He was to lie to Draco. Be cruel to be kind, as people often said.
"Harry?" Draco prompted after a moment's thought on Harry's part.
"I don't want to have to look after you, Draco," He said coldly.
"What?"
"It would… be a burden, for me…" Harry lied through his teeth, and every word cut him like a knife.
"What are you talking about?" Draco said; Harry could hear the faked smile in his words.
"I don't want to be worrying about you all the time," Harry continued.
"But… That's what lovers do… worry about each other…" Draco stuttered.
"You're not…" Harry blinked and numerous amounts of silent tears fell from his eyes, "You're not my lover," He said more strongly.
Another silence followed his harsh lie, and Harry guessed that Draco, too, was crying.
"Harry…" He whispered, "I know you're lying…" Although he sounded uncertain, "Today… we made love, Harry…"
"No we didn't," Harry cut in, trying with great force to keep his voice steady, ignoring the huge lump that had formed in his throat.
"But…"
"But nothing, Draco," Harry interrupted again. "You need to get away from me, for your own safety. And, to be honest," He spat out the next heartless lie that dripped from his lips, "Did we ever really love each other? Or did we just happen to live in the same place when we were both lonely?"
Harry jumped as a steak of light flooded the room, but he then saw that it was only Draco, who had walked to the door to evidently leave. He was shocked to see Draco's face only slightly pinker than usual from a minimal amount of tears – whereas he was sure that he, himself, was completely red-faced.
"I'm not going to cry over you, Potter," Draco said quietly. Harry was stunned by the use of his last name in an un-malicious way. "Because I know what you're doing. You're lying to me to make me think that you hate me, so I'll leave and be safe. But it's not going to work…"
"They're not lies," Harry lied again.
He saw Draco's face falter into a grimace as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Harry's eyes lost focus in the pitch blackness before he walked back to his bed. It was still warm from where Draco had just laid in it. Harry laid on top of that warm half and shuddered, tears streaming down his face. He had no idea how much Draco had believed, or not believed as the case may be; nor did he have any idea where those lies had sprouted from. One crazy idea spun with another – all for Draco's well-being – until he had almost convinced himself of the lie: until he almost convinced himself that he didn't love Draco with all of his heart and soul.
It was strange – he had never even felt this way about Ginny, the woman he had once set out to marry. And now that he had discovered those feelings for someone, he found that he pushed them as far away as he possibly could.
Draco opened his eyes the morning after his 'argument' with Harry. Well, you couldn't really call it an argument, as Draco didn't fight back at all.
His eyes were still blotchy from the night before, after returning to his room, and he felt weaker then he had since being held for a month by Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. For Draco had left Harry's room last night, and cried for hours. He still didn't know if what Harry had said was truth or not, but it hurt nonetheless.
This morning however, Draco planned on going downstairs and acting as if nothing had happened, apart from the most amazing sexual experience of his life yesterday. And if Harry continued to go on about his stupid theory that he never loved Draco, (Draco cringed to even think it) then Draco would have to make him see otherwise.
Draco stretched and got out of his bed – which he wished he shared with Harry – and walked towards the door to the hall, to go and have a shower.
Half an hour later, he returned, clean and ready for whatever challenges the day – or Harry – thought to bring him.
Draco went downstairs.
He heard voices in the living room which sounded like Harry, Ron and Hermione. Draco didn't let it bother him; it was acceptable to talk to his friends of course.
"Of course, Harry, but…"
However, when he opened the door, he was bothered.
Hermione, who had been in mid-sentence, stopped talking and stared at Harry, who stared at Draco; eyes wide and almost fearful. Should Draco's eyes be shaped the same way?
Harry stared at Draco as he walked slowly into the room, glancing at Harry, Ron and Hermione each in turn before he said croakily, "Morning."
"Good morning, Draco," Hermione said, making a bad effort to cover up the sticky atmosphere. "Your voice doesn't sound too good. Is everything alright?"
Draco nodded, "I just didn't get a very good sleep, that's all," He replied, looking pointedly at Harry, who tried his best to not look away. "Don't let me interrupt you, please," He said.
Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but Harry cut in before her, "You weren't interrupting."
Draco raised an eyebrow, "Then why did Hermione stop talking as I entered the room?"
"Because she think's I've made the wrong decision," Harry replied steadily.
"The wrong decision about what, may I ask?"
Harry had only just realised the way that Draco was acting. It was like he was getting ready to have a complete shouting match at Harry, and Ron and Hermione were watching fearfully. But Harry wouldn't give in. He wanted Draco to be safe, and that's what he'd get.
"Harry…" Hermione tried to interrupt, but Harry held up a hand to silence her.
"We're leaving tomorrow."
Draco almost choked on his water he was now drinking. "What?" He mumbled.
"We're leaving tomorrow to finish off the Order's work," Harry said. "I know it's sudden, but I want Voldemort dead, in which case we have to find Nagini, his snake, and kill her too. It'll all take a long time; I can't say we'll be done before a matter of months us up."
"What's the real reason you're leaving?" Draco spat.
"Ron, come on…" Hermione muttered, standing up to leave.
"No, Hermione, its ok," Harry said, "I was just going to pack."
"Harry…" Draco said quietly.
"Don't follow me, Draco," He said, "I don't want you to."
And with that, Harry left the room quickly, feeling his face burn as he did so, and his vision getting blurry from watery eyes.
He sped into his bedroom and closed the door behind him, casting a locking charm on it. He fell to his knees on the floor of the small room and buried his head in his hands.
But he wouldn't cry. He just wouldn't do it.
Harry hated all the lies that had sprung up from nowhere in the past day, and he had no idea how he had come to make himself do this, but it was for the best. He wasn't going to lie to himself; he was in love with Draco, but that was the whole point. He couldn't stand by and have sex with him, while ten minutes later he could be in mortal danger. Too many people that he cared about had died through Harry. Of course, Harry had never killed them, but at the end of the day, if Harry wasn't around, those people would probably still be alive.
Harry took three deep breaths and jumped when there was a knock on the door, and the handle moved.
"Harry, can I come in please?"
Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes and stood up, wiping his face even though there were no tears to be seen.
He unlocked the door with a wave of his wand.
"Harry," Hermione said as she walked slowly into the room, closing the door behind her. "You need to sort this out. Whatever has happened with you and Draco, you need to fix it."
Harry looked at her. "Do you not want to come with me tomorrow then?" He asked.
"No, that's not it at all," Hermione replied, sitting down next to him on his bed, "You know Ron and I are coming no matter what. But I don't think you should leave Draco like this."
"Like what?"
"With the attitude you're giving each other. If you leave him still like that then he'll be so upset."
"And he'll forget about me," Harry said, "That's just what I want."
"What?"
Harry sighed and turned to face her. "Look, if he stays with me, he'll be killed before a month is up, and if I just leave, then he'll be pining for me all the time; I don't want that. I've told him I don't love him, and that I never did."
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, "But that's not true, surely?"
"Of course it's not," Harry scoffed slightly, "But if I leave with him knowing I love him, he'll be waiting for me to come back."
"But… you will come back…" Hermione said in a confused fashion.
Harry raised an eyebrow, "Will I? Who's to say I won't get killed in three days?"
"Harry, you mustn't think like that!"
He merely shrugged. "It's reality. Now, I need to pack for tomorrow, and you and Ron should be too. I'll see you later."
Hermione stood up and shook her head at him. "What you're doing is cruel. You're going to break Draco's heart."
"I already have," Harry corrected her, "And if you say a single word to him about this…"
"I won't! I'm just saying…"
"Well don't; go and pack," Harry dismissed her and turned around to start packing his things. He made himself look busy until he heard Hermione sigh and leave the room.
He then also sighed and flopped down on his bed. Never mind breaking Draco's heart… his was hurting just as much.
"Come on mate, hurry up!" Ron shouted at him the next day.
"Calm down, I just need to go and get my bag," Harry said calmly, walking towards the stairs. "You're as bad as Hermione!"
Ron's ears turned pink and Harry chuckled as he ran up the stairs. The rest of the previous day had been spent in his room, away from Ron, Hermione and Draco, for he couldn't stand to be with anyone. After Hermione had left his room, Harry had initially gone downstairs to talk to everyone for one last time, but when Remus started to 'argue against' their leaving, he got fed up and retreated back to his bedroom.
So far today, Harry had neither seen nor heard anything of Draco; which was probably a good thing. He was afraid that if he had to see him, he might decide to stay – therefore putting Draco in danger.
Harry opened the door to his bedroom a jumped almost a mile form his own skin.
Draco was sitting on his bed, holding one strap of Harry's bag in his hand. He was leant back in a vulnerable position; his head tipped backwards looking at the ceiling. He looked amazing.
Harry blinked.
"What are you doing?" He asked quietly.
"I'm saying goodbye," Draco answered strongly, sitting properly to look at him.
Harry breathed quickly and felt a strange lump in his chest and throat.
"Am I not allowed to say goodbye if you're really leaving?" Draco asked airily, standing up.
"Yes…" Harry answered, swallowing.
"Good, because there's more that I wanted to say actually," Draco pressed on, walking around the room.
Harry's eyes followed Draco's pale figure as he shut the door behind him. It was horrible to think that he'd never see that beautiful creature again.
"I know why you're leaving," Draco said, "And I've decided to accept it and believe the real truth. Because of course, I know you're lying as well." Draco paused and Harry merely blinked in response. "I mean, I'll see you again once the war is over. But can I just say, if you're worried about me getting hurt, why aren't you worried about Ron and Hermione?"
Harry swallowed again and found it quite difficult to answer. "Because I remembered something you said when I first moved to the manor. You said that you didn't know how to defend yourself. Ron and Hermione do, so they're ok."
"Fair point," Draco said, looking at his feet.
There was an awkward silence in the room, and Harry didn't know how to fill it. He had gone along with Draco until this point, and now he couldn't decide whether to drop all of his lies and kiss him, or continue with the lies and tell him to go away.
"Can I ask you one thing before you go?" Draco said quietly after a moment. Harry nodded jerkily. "When you said… Did we really love each other… Did you mean it?"
Harry stared unblinkingly at him, face sombre, eyes set. He didn't know what he was trying to do, but when Draco replied, he felt like he had done the right thing.
"I see," Draco said. "Then there's nothing left but for you to go, is there?" Harry shook his head. "Can I live here while you're gone?"
Harry nodded, and then decided now was the time to speak up.
"Draco," He said, his voice hoarse, "You know there's a strong possibility that I won't ever get back here?"
Draco glanced at the floor and then straight back at Harry. He nodded his head slowly and began to walk towards him, with his rucksack still in his hand.
"Please remember, Harry," He whispered, putting the rucksack down and placing his hand on Harry's back, making him shiver, "That even if you never loved me, I love you so much."
And then he did it – he bloody well did it. Draco stood up as high as he could and touched his soft lips on Harry's.
Harry's eyes fluttered shut and his hands moved quickly – though seemingly in slow motion – to Draco's back, which jolted slightly at the touch. And then feeling seemed to flow back into Harry; feeling which he hadn't had for three days. Emotion poured in on him so quickly that it overwhelmed him, and tears built up behind his eyelids, which opened for a second to let the tears flow.
Draco must have felt Harry's tears fall onto his cheeks, for that very second, he opened his mouth wider and let Harry's tongue slip into it. Each of their hands wandered every inch of the others' body, until Harry's finally decided to rest at the bottom of Draco's shirt, and start to lift it.
Draco seemed to kiss him harder then, and his feet carried Harry away from the spot on which he had been standing since he entered the room. Soon, Harry felt the bed on the back of his legs and was just about to pull Draco down with him when he heard the door open.
"Harry you're…"
The door slammed shut again before Harry had even seen Ron in the room. A sudden urge to grin passed over him, and when he saw Draco's top lifted half off, and the expression on Draco's face, he couldn't help but let the grin slid on his.
But then, Harry pulled Draco's shirt back down, and he felt positively sick as he walked away from him, back to his rucksack.
"Harry…" Draco whispered.
"I have to go," Harry cut in, not looking at him.
As Harry opened the door, he saw there was no sign of Ron. He suppressed his half-hearted smile this time, however, as he turned back to Draco, who had tears running slowly down his cheeks.
Harry could think of nothing to say. He didn't want to lie anymore, but equally as much, he didn't want to tell the truth either. There were only two bizarre things running around his head, and he had no idea where they had come from.
"Promise me you'll be safe, and I'll kill him for you," He whispered.
Draco nodded fiercely and choked, "Do you love me, or not?"
"It doesn't matter now," Harry said quickly and truthfully. Because, in his opinion, he would die during the next few months, and it never would have mattered.
Harry then took Draco's right hand in his left and squeezed it tightly one last time before he turned to leave.
He walked down the short corridor quickly, and down the stairs even faster until he reached Ron, Hermione, Fred, George and Mr and Mrs Weasley. He noticed that Ron was slightly white-faced, but Hermione had obviously told him off for being 'pathetic', as she would have called it.
"Harry, dear!" Mrs Weasley said loudly, giving him a hug.
Harry hugged back and made a false attempt at a laugh, "I'm not very good with goodbyes, Mrs Weasley," He said.
"Well who is dear?" She cried. "Do be safe. Look after those two!"
Harry nodded, "I will."
"Goodbye, Harry," Mr Weasley said, shaking his hand firmly, adding at the end, "I know you can do it."
The twins then waved, and Ron and Hermione turned to the door. Harry guessed that they must have said their goodbyes in his absence.
"Where're Remus and Ginny?" Harry asked before turning around.
"They're with Tonks, dear," Mrs Weasley answered, "They… They told us they didn't want to watch you leave."
Harry made a confused expression, to which Mrs Weasley nodded her head, before Hermione turned to him and said, "Harry, we should go."
Harry nodded back at her distractedly and looked around his house. This may well be the last time he'd ever see it.
As he looked up the stairs, he jolted slightly when his eyes stopped on the figure of a person standing in the shadows at the top. The white-blonde hair was the first thing to capture him, and his heart pounded like a drum as he realised how much he didn't want to leave him, ever. Then, Draco stepped out from the shadow and Harry saw his lips move.
'I love you.'
Harry stared at the lips. Those gorgeous, red lips. What was he doing? Why was he leaving?
"Harry," Hermione stirred him, and his eyes ripped away from Draco with great difficulty.
"You sure about this?" Ron said quietly.
Harry hesitated before answering quietly, "Yes…"
"You know you've always got us, Harry," Hermione said, taking hold of his hand.
Harry nodded and smiled a genuine smile. "Yeah, I know," He replied.
And with that, Ron held on to Hermione's arm, and they all disapparated away from Grimmauld Place; ready to destroy evil, save the world, and die trying.
A/N Well, that's it!!! Hope the last chapter was ok! I've edited a lot of it because I know how all over the place it was/is! I hope it's not too confusing. I mean, suddenly Harry's all like, 'I don't love you'! But hopefully you understand why and everything, so I'll stop flaming my own writing haha!! Anyways, don't all be sad because it's over (tehe) because I'm planning a sequel; yay!!!!!! It will probably be up next week sometime, so probably in like, seven days knowing me haha!!!! Anyway, I hope you all come and read it. Thank you for all being such lovely reviewers and favouriters!! See you all soon no doubt!!! Love you all!!!!