Sorry about the long wait. I like making my readers suffer. laughs manically No, no, jk. I've just been busy. So this next problem will be in two parts. Why? Because I wanted to get something posted and I'm too lazy to write the second part of it now. more maniacal laughter

Chapter 6: The Third of Nine

It had been a day since the embarrassment tasks had been acted out and Hermione and Ron were having some difficulties dealing with the repercussions...

"Hey, Fruity!" was now the most common greeting Hermione heard when she entered a room. That, and a few others too derogative to repeat in this particular story.

Ron was having no easier of time. Three times already he had heard people humming the Pokemon theme song as he walked by. Twice he caught guys staring at his chest area, one of which was Draco much to his delight.

Ron and Hermione were in the Great Hall eating breakfast somewhat cheerfully, and then Ginny, Neville, and Harry came in and sat down next to them. They had woken up early with the intention of avoiding the list holders (or pushy gits as Ron prefered to call them) for the day, so that they might have one day of normality...or, however close to it they could get in their current situation.

"Tried to give us the slip?" asked Harry snidely as he reached for some of delishiously crisp bacon in front of him.

Ron and Hermione avoided their eyes pointedly. Hermione managed to grunt out, "We were just...hungry."

"Yeah, right!" blurted Neville, cowering as Hermione shot him her famous glare. Even as a boy she could scare the crap out of Neville.

"So," said Ron, breaking the awkward moment. "What wonderful adventure in teen drama do Henry and I get to embark on today?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Always the drama queen, aren't we, Ronni?"

"Shove off, Ginny."

"Make me."

Ron looked up from his heaping plate of food (which he piled on despite knowing that his new feminine stomach was ill-prepared for his man-like eating habits), aghast. "Maybe I will."

"Maybe you should." Ginny smirked at him. Ron stood up, red in the face.

"I don't need your bloody attitude right now, Ginny."

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to dish it out."

He stood up and glared at Ginny. "Okay! That's enough!" A few heads were turning now.

"Ronni, sit DOWN," hissed Neville. "You're embarrassing yourself again."

Ron plopped down and hid his face in his hands, exasperated. "I thought we were done with embarrassment."

Neville smiled sympathetically and placed his hand on Ron's shoulder. "Hey, look at the bright side. At least nobody thinks you're gay." He shifted his gaze at Hermione, who flushed red.

"Watch it, Neville. I'm not particularily in the mood for sass today."

Neville gulped, trying to dredge up whatever bravery the sorting hat had apparently seen inside of him. "Well, no more bitch pills for you, Miss Crabby-Ass." He maintained his strong face and even managed to smile at his wit, after scooching away from Hermione as she looked up, red and hot.

"Neville..." She was trying not to explode. Under the table her fist clenched.

"Which brings us to our next problem!" interjected Harry quickly, thankfully saving Neville from Hermione's man-wrath. "Fights and mean girls."

"Oh great! And here I was hoping to have a pleasant day!" screeched Ron.

"Do--do I have to fight someone?" Hermione stuttered out very unmanly.

"Maybe, maybe not. It depends on who you decide to pick a fight with," said Ginny.

Hermione winced at the thought of getting punched. Ron just gulped, he had no idea how mean girls could really be.

"Wait, you mean we get to pick?" asked Hermione eagerly.

"Yeah, so long as we approve, that means no pansies for you, Henry" said Ginny.

"And no timid little daisies for you, Ronni. They have to be people you'd actually want to fight with," said Harry.

Ron and Hermione sighed irritably. "Fine," they mumbled and returned to their food.

"You better do it, if you don't we'll be the ones who'll choose your oponent. Have a lovely morning," said Ginny cheerfully. With that, they left to go about their business, leaving Ron and Hermione to their grumpy thoughts.

They ate...fiercely. Ron actually cracked a tooth he was chewing so furiously, Hermione fixed of course. But not before Draco could walk by, stare at Ron with Hermione's wand in his (her, in Draco's eyes) mouth, and walk away with a sigh.

"Just to make me even more of freak than I already am to Draco!" Ron growled.

Hermione sighed too.

"Enough of the sighing, alright? It's driving me bloody crazy!"

Hermione made a sound like 'pischt' and turned away. "You know," she said after a few minutes of awkward silence, "maybe this problem won't be as bad as we're expecting."

Ron looked baffled (big surprise). "Look, you may want to get hit in the face but I don't,"

Hermione started to sigh again but quickly transformed it into a very unattractive grunt to cover it up. "Just look at this way. I'm mad, and now I get to go hit somebody. Also, maybe I'll finally find out why guys seem to enjoy fights so much..."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "I get what you're saying. This could be good." He smiled and ate another piece of bacon.

"Watch it, Ronni! Don't get too cheerful. How're you supposed to start a fight with someone if you're all rainbows and sunshine?"

"Oh, yeah, right, right!" Ron replied. He shifted his face into an ugly grimace. Hermione laughed at it's ugliness. Then Draco walked by again, looked like he was going to speak to Ronni, cocked an eyebrow, and backed away slowly.

"Awk-ward..." said Hermione. Ron wailed and hit his head hard on the table. "That's the spirit, Ronni! But save the hitting for the fight."

Ron said "UGH!" and looked up again.

"I've got to go, Ronni, but we can meet up later and maybe we can get in our fights at the same time," Hermione said cheerfully. She left the Great Hall and Ron, who was back at the same sadness he had already been feeling.

"Curse my stupid female mood swings," he hissed.

A few hours later, Hermione was sitting in class when Professor McGonagall came in. "Henry Grant, come with me," she said. Hermione got up and followed her into the corridor.

"Something wrong, Professor?" she asked eagerly.

"Yes. Miss Wesley (a/n that's Ron for those of you who don't remember his fake last name) is in the hospital wing, she was asking for you." They continued hussling down the corridor hurriedly.

"Is she okay?" Hermione asked, eyes wide.

"Oh, she'll be fine." McGonagall lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. "In my opinion, I think she's being a bit of a drama queen."

Hermione chuckled and went the rest of the way on her own so McGonagall could get back to her class. When she came in, she gasped. Ron was in a bed with a black eye and a bandage around his head, but even more shocking was the fact that Draco was there too. He said something to Ronni and then strolled past in that upity way that he does.

"What on Earth was he doing here?" Hermione asked.

"McGonagall made him walk me down here while she went to get you."

"Well? What did he say just now?" Hermione's eyes were practically buldging with anticipation.

Ron sat up and cracked his neck. "The real question is: Who did I get in a fight with?"

Hermione waited...waited..."WHO?"

"Pansy Parkinson!"

"For real?"

"Mmmhm," Ron said, trying to give attitude.

"Did you win?"

"Well...not exactly...but I did give her a big red mark on her face!"

"Yeah and it probably faded in two minutes." Hermione said, successfully acheiving the attitude Ron couldn't bring to the table.

"I thought that girl-fights were just slapping! I had no bloody idea that she was going to turn around and start wailing on me!" he exclaimed.

"What did you do to provoke her?" asked Hermione plainly.

"Nothing, really. It was all her fault. She was talking crap about me behind my back and there is no way that I'm going to let some little hussy go around talking smack about me!"

Hermione giggled, in as manly a fashion as a giggle can be, and shook her head.

"What?" Ron protested.

"Nothing it's just...you really are a girl," she said with a smirk.

Ron looked outraged. "Am not! Take it back!"

"Or what, you'll slap me too?" Hermione laughed.

"Just wait, Herm--Henry! It's your turn next and then let's just see if I give you any sympathy!" Ron yelled.

"Whatever, Ronni," she replied, exiting. the last thing she heard was Ron sighing really loudly and then exclaiming "Frick!"

Author's Note:
Love you all!!