Title: Barely Breathing
Name: Jules
Rating: PG-15 maybe sometimes higher
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to NBC the boneheads who own Passions. Any other characters, I created.
Classification: (angst, romance, friendship)
Summary: Kay's life seems like a horrible mistake after it seems as though everyone's abandoned her. Luis realizes how much he cares about her. Will they be able to handle living together? Ivy finally admits the truth to Sam about Ethan. Kay/Luis, Savy

Ok, this is going to be an odd pairing, I mean WAY out there, and it's set in the year 2001. I'm not sure how it will be received, but it just came into my mind one day, and I had to write it down. I really need to know whether or not I should continue this time, whether you love it, or you absolutely hate it. Frankly, I'm terrified that everyone will hate it.

Oh, and I'm taking liberty with birthdays, and there's nothing you can do about it! sticks out tongue AND I'm making the teens a year older.

Oh, and just so you know, things between 's in the story are being THOUGHT

Barely Breathing

By Jules
Chapter 1
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Harmony, Main
January 2001

Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald was strolling along the wharf, reflecting on his long day, when he perceive a sniffling noise, like someone was crying. The off-duty officer paused and glanced around. He soon caught sight of the source of the sound; it was a girl! Her head was bowed down, so all he could see was her long dark layered brown hair, with small sections of it dyed blond. Generally, Luis would leave a person alone if they were crying, as he himself hated to be bothered when he was upset, but it was getting dark, she was in distress and she didn't look very capable of protecting herself. As an officer of the law and frankly, simply a well-brought up man with a conscious, he couldn't in good conscience leave her there.

He cautiously approached her, not wanting to scare her, "Excuse me, Miss, are you alright?"

The girl looked up, startled, tears were running freely down her cheeks, her dark eyeliner and mascara with it, "Please, j-just go away Luis."

Luis was taken aback; it was Kay! "What's wrong Kay? What's happened to make you be crying on your 18th birthday?"

His words just made her cry harder, "I-is my life so pathetic, th-that only you, m-my ex-best friend's brother remembers?" She demanded, to no one in particular.

Luis was mystified, "What do you mean? Of course I wouldn't forget. You used to dance around my house for a month before it chanting how you were turning how ever old you were on January 18th."

"Yeah, well you're the only one who did. With Charity's birthday be-being last week, I guess I just f-fade into the b-background." Kay divulged, trying to keep her teeth from chattering in the frigid weather.

"I'm sure that's not true." Luis endeavored to assure her, sitting on the bench next to her.

"Then why is it they all forgot my birthday? Why is it I only got three presents on Christmas, one from Uncle Hank, one from Reese, and one from my Grandparents. M-my dad tries, but he's been so di-distracted lately, Jessica h-hates me, Simone left me, a-and my 'b-best friend' only talks to m-me wh-when he w-wants to kn-know where Ch-Ch-Charity is."

She started to tremble violently, her lips were turning blue, and her hands were numb. For the first time, Luis noticed that Kay didn't even have a coat on in the frigid sub-zero New England winter; the sweatshirt she had on definitely wouldn't be cutting it.

"Kay, let me take you home . . ." Luis began, putting his arm around her shoulder.

Kay violently shook him off, "No! I c-can't, I can't g-go b-back to a p-place where I'm c-considered a n-non p-person. I w-won't, Luis, I-I can't."

Truthfully, Luis hadn't even thought about taking her back to the Bennett's, but he was shocked at her aggressive objection to the idea.

Luis gallantly removed his thick coat and wrapped it around her thin frame, "Of course not, you're coming home to my place. I know Hank would love to see his favorite niece."

Hank Bennett had managed to work out a solution of most of his troubles six months previously and was now a completely free man. He and Luis had moved into a nice two-bedroom apartment together, splitting the rent several months before.

Poor Kay was simply shivering too hard to fight when Luis scooped her up.

xXx

Hank and Luis's apartment

Hank was in the midst of wrapping his niece Kay's birthday gift when the door to his apartment burst open. Instinctively, he jumped up, reaching for his gun, only to remember he'd stopped carrying one months ago. He was torn between relief and horror to realize it was just his best friend, Luis, the horror was due to the fact that he was carrying someone in his arms, wrapped in his coat.

"Hank, its Kay." Luis told him without any preamble, "Open my bedroom door, she's damn near frozen."

Hank did ordered; frankly because his own bedroom wasn't sight that any young female should witness.

Luis laid Kay down upon his bed, then immediately started rubbing Kay's arms and hands in an endeavor to warm her up, and hopefully prevent frostbite. She didn't even look at him, her eyes firmly fixed on the wall opposite him.

Kay didn't want to see the pity and disappointment she knew she'd find in their eyes, so she kept her head down.

Luis recognized her need for silence due to years of police and big brother experience, so he didn't try to speak with her just now, there would be time for discussions about the situation later.

Luis arranged her underneath his thick blankets and quilt, "Get some sleep Kay. We'll talk later."

"P-please, don't make me go back there . . ." She begged one last time, speaking for the first time since Luis had picked her up at the docks.

Luis was unsettled by the young woman's words, but reassured her, "I won't, I promise."

Luis watched her for several moments, studying the girl he once knew so well, wondering what could have happened to cause her to end up in such a state. Then stepped into the other room, closing the door behind him, hoping to get some answers.

Hank was right there waiting for him expectantly, wanting answers of his own.

"What the hell is going on?" Hank demanded, hissing at his friend, in an endeavor not to disturb Kay, "Why the hell is my niece in your bedroom?"

"I found her on the wharf, crying her eyes out. She didn't even have a coat on!" Luis quickly explained, then shook his head, "I cannot believe them." He growled

"Who?" Hank questioned confused at the abrupt chance in Luis' demeanor.

"My brother, your brother, and Grace." Luis answered.

"What happened?" Hank asked sighing, silently groaning. He knew from experience what idiots his family could be, and how much damage they could do in a short amount of time.

"They forgot Kay's birthday today. Her 18th birthday! Not to mention, overlooking her at Christmas. I brought her back here because she begged me not to take her home. She said she couldn't go back to a place she was considered a 'non person', her words by the way."

Hank flopped down on the couch, "Aww man! I knew it was bad, but I didn't know they would let it go this far. Grace is freaking obsessed with Charity for some reason, in a totally unhealthy way. And my brother Sam, well, seems he's in love with someone else, and he's currently trying to ignore it, which is only distracting him even more . . . . They actually forgot her 18th birthday? Damn it. They know how fragile she is to ! My God, she's on medications for depression."

"Wha-why?"

"She's lost everyone Luis. In the years since Charity came to Harmony, Kay has slowly, but surely, lost practically everyone and everything she ever cared about, to Charity. Simone decided she no longer want to be friends with Kay, for reasons I'm still not clear on; Jessica started hating Kay even more, and you know how well they got along in the first place. As for my wonderful sister-in-law, Grace, who Kay was never close to in the first place, started to ignore her and compare her to Charity constantly.

The final straw for her though, was your brother. After having been best friends for so many years, Kay had developed this huge crush on him. Honestly, crush really isn't strong enough a word; she was like . . . in love with him. Anyway, just when she was about to tell him. The wonderful, perfect Charity showed up and Miguel fell for her at first sight. Kay was crushed, but not for long. Being the strong, independent girl she was, my nice fought back for what she wanted back then. She tried practically everything to get Miguel to notice her, but little by little, she lost her best friend. He never talked with her like they used to. They never spent any time alone, not even as friends. He tried to set her up repeatedly with Reese, whom Kay felt nothing for and definitely had never had showed any interest in. Miguel soon stopped coming to see her and he never talked to her unless to ask about Charity.

It destroyed her Luis. She not only lost her first love, but her best friend too. Simone knew Kay hated Charity, but she got tired of Kay's schemes to try and get Miguel to notice her. So Simone dropped Kay, and became friends with Charity. Kay was left all alone, with no friends, and she . . . started to fade away."

Luis sat down in a chair, listening intently to Hank's attempt to explain everything that had happened.

Hank took a deep breath, and then went on, "My niece has a fiery spirit, but one that also craves attention. She'd a middle child, and comes with all the neurosies attached to being one. She desperately needs someone to care about her and watch out of her, no matter what she says to the contrary. Someone who puts her first. That's what Miguel used to do . . . . I know, she seems so strong and independent, but she's really so fragile inside. Miguel used to be aware of that, but these days . . . ." Hank sighed, "I did what I could while all this was happening. But I was caught up in my own shit at the time. But I tried my best once I caught sight of what was going on. I tried to talk with her about things, and I warned Sam about the dark path his daughter was headed down, that's how she got diagnosed and was given antidepressants. No one but Sam and I even know that she takes those kinds of things . . . . They do help, a lot, but they're not a miracle. Thank God you brought her here. That house . . . that house full of people devoted to the worship and constant happiness of Charity, it's killing her Luis. It's killing her soul, and it will slowly and painfully, kill her."

"We have to help her." Luis declared, his soul aching for the young girl sleeping in the room behind him.

"I know, believe me, I know." Hank agreed, "But how?"

"Well, from what you said, she can't really move out into her own place alone, because that would be too much like abandonment to her. She needs to be around people, people who will take care of her and watch her to make sure she doesn't do anything . . . rash. But like you said, the Bennett household is essentially killing her, on top of which I'm pretty sure she's not getting the level of surveillance she most likely needs in her fragile state. So, only solution I can see in this mess, is that she moves in here with us." Luis rationalized.

"Of course! Why didn't I come up with that months ago?" Hank wondered to himself.

"I'll give you one word, Sheridan."

Sheridan and Hank were seriously dating now. Luis hadn't been able lie to Sheridan and 'admit' her he'd said those things, so they grew apart. With Luis out of Sheridan's heart, Hank had eagerly closed in (with Luis' blessing), and in the following months, had grown very close to her. The couple had been physically showing each other how they felt about their relationship for a long time, but both had wanted to move slowly. Hank, because until recently he wasn't sure whether or not his ex-associates would leave him alone for good, and Sheridan because she was afraid of getting hurt again after having been burned so many times.

Hank nodded sheepishly, then perked up, "Actually, this is perfect timing! Sher has been hinting to me that she wants us to move in together, at her cottage. I could still pay for my half of the rent to cover for Kay, and she just move into my room."

"What! You want me to stay here, alone, with your niece?" Luis questioned apprehensively.

"Hey, I trust ya man!" Hank teased.

The thing was, Luis wasn't sure he could trust himself around Kay. He had begun to notice how beautiful Kay was when she turned 16. That was when Luis first noticed her turning into very pretty girl, with an ok figure, and since then she'd just grown more attractive and developed some wonderful curves (including actually developing some breasts in the last year). Luis just couldn't understand how his brother could be so blind to such a good-looking young woman.

xXx

Contrary to what the two men in the other room believe, Kay was still wide-awake. She was curled up, shivering in Luis' bed, wishing she'd jumped off the wharf into the icy cold water when she'd had the chance. But no, she'd decided to have one last good cry. It was going to be her only birthday gift, one to herself . . . a present she had desperately wanted.

Finally, she was to accept death. To finally put an end to the agony of her existence, to slip into the black void where she didn't feel the pain anymore. Where the fact Miguel didn't return her love or even notice her anymore wouldn't hurt her anymore. Where things like nobody cared about her anymore didn't matter. For it all to just STOP. Death was the one thing Charity wouldn't be able take from her . . . she had hoped.

Then Luis had come along, being all sweet, actually remembering her birthday (unlike her family), wrapping his own coat around her, and giving her his bed to sleep in. He'd actually noticed her, he'd actually cared about her well being . . . it had been so long since someone had.

Guys at school had pretended to have feelings for her, she'd fck a guy, and she would delude herself into believe that he actually cared about her, but then the next day he'd be with some other girl in the hall way, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, but never Kay's. She'd even gotten pregnant on several occasions. They all paid her off to get rid of it and keep quiet. After the second accident, she'd stopped putting her trust in just condoms and gone on the birth control pill. She was the school's secret slut, no one knew about it, no one.

A while back, she'd stopped messing around with teenage boys, and she'd moved on to rich married men who made her feel attractive while briefly alleviating her need for affection, they eventually too paid, big bucks when they would go their separate ways, to keep her mouth shut not that she would have ever admitted to anyone, ever, what she was doing. It would have just made everyone more disappointed in her, and give her former friends more to yell at her about . . . . But Kay had even stopped doing that, finally realizing she was never going to find what she so desperately searched for there either. Lately, she'd begun to gaze out the window at night for hours, praying that God would either help her find peace on this Earth, or mercifully end the black hole that was her existence once and for all. Finally, this afternoon, after everyone had forgotten her birthday, she had come to the realization nothing in the universe gave a damn enough to help her one way or the other, and decided to take matters into her own hands . . . she'd been so close too . . .

Kay was brought out of her dark thoughts by the startling sound of the door being opened, the noise abnormally loud in the silence of the room. She immediately closed her eyes and feigned being asleep.

Hank carefully watched his niece from the entrance of the room. When she slept was when she looked the most fragile, her carefully constructed mask firmly in place during the day. Presently though, her expression was guarded and her frame oddly tense, so he knew she was faking. But Hank didn't want to bother her, instinctively knowing that she wasn't ready to talk just then, so he simply set her gift on the nightstand and then left the room, letting her think that he'd believed her act.

Kay didn't reopen her eyes though, the exhaustion of the day caught up with her, and she soon fell asleep.

xXx

Around Midnight

Luis lay on the couch, wide-awake. At long last he couldn't take just lying there any more, and got up. He paced the main room apartment for a long time, his thoughts in turmoil. Eventually he padded over to his bedroom, he opened the door and gazed at the young woman sleeping in his bed, studying her. Hank had been right in his assessments, Kay really did appear fragile and small as she slept. Luis stared at her, her dark hair with its blond streaks framed her pale face setting off her striking features. She was . . . absolutely gorgeous.

Her pants were piled on a nearby chair, with her sweatshirt, which she'd evidently tossed off at some point during the night. This led Luis to the startling realization that Kay was sleeping in his bed, not wearing very much at all.

Luis gulped at the thought, Bad thoughts Luis, you aren't supposed to think this way. It's wrong, completely and utterly wrong! She's your best friend's niece . . . his very attractive niece . . . but it's still soo wrong! You aren't supposed to be having fantasies about her.

Unfortunately, the fantasies came despite his self-admonishments, and when Luis realized the bulge in his pants was becoming painfully evident, he quickly ran to the joint bathroom for a cold shower. Praying that his depraved thoughts about the gorgeous Kay go away soon.

xXx

The Bennett house, Jessica and Kay's bedroom

Jessica was getting ready for bed when she realized Kay wasn't home, which was very strange given Kay's recent pattern of behavior of only leaving the house to go to school. Now that Jessica thought about it though, Kay had been missing all day. The teen bit her lip in apprehension; she had no idea where her sister was.

Jessica would never admit it to anyone, but she'd always been jealous of her older sister, for many reasons, both real and imagined. It was because of how tall Kay was, and the fact Reese doted on her so much (while Kay 'heartlessly' ignored his advances). Kay always had to be the center of attention, and was so close with her group of friends . . . but lately, Jessica, now that thought about it, Kay really didn't have many . . . if any friends, and she'd also noticed that Kay kept to herself more. She didn't even scheme anymore! Which, now that she actually thought about it, really scared Jessica. Kay had always schemed, as long as Jessica could remember; Kay had always planning . . . something.

If Jessica was being honest with herself, she realized that she was worried about her sister. She'd heard the rumors about Kay around school, but she'd figured that's all they were, rumors. At Harmony High, cruel rumors were always going around about someone . . . but that didn't mean there usually wasn't some grain of truth about it.

Jessica decided that she'd better snoop around. She carefully rummaged around through all of Kay's things, a season pro at such activities, but found nothing until she searched under Kay's bed, underneath a loose floorboard Kay had used as a hiding place since she was little, there she hit the jackpot. That's where she found a shoebox, with pills and a huge wad of bills inside. She read the top of the round pill container, birth control! Her sister was on birth control! Then she read the perception on the other one, Prozac.

Jessica dropped the bottle in shock, her sister had depression? . . . God, how hadn't she ever noticed? All the signs had been there, her sister's withdrawal from everything, her sneaking in and out at all hours of the day, the rumors about Kay sleeping around . . . and all Jessica had ever done was fuel the fire and make it worse. What kind of a sister was she!

Jessica had an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. Where was Kay? Why wasn't she home yet? It wasn't like Kay even had any friends to spend the night at . . . unless . . .

Jessica dove for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

xXx

Hank was sound asleep when his line rang. He fumbled for the phone.

"What the hell do you want calling at this hour, unless it's Sheridan, otherwise, what do you want sweetie?"

"I've never felt so loved Uncle Hank, but that's besides the point. Where is she?"

Hank recognized the voice of his youngest niece, "Jessica? What . . . oh, you mean Kay."

"Who else would I be asking about? Did you know about the Prozac?"

"Jessica, have you been snooping? I'm so proud of you! And to answer your two questions, she's sleeping in Luis's room. He's on the couch. As for the Prozac, yah, I knew and so did your father."

"Is she ok? She's not hurt is she?"

"Jessica, are you actually worried about her?" Hank asks sitting up, "'Cause never once in your life, have you ever cared about your sister. All you ever wanted to do was hurt her, and pretty much put an end to her."

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I feel guilty about helping drive my sister to have to take antidepressants, do you know what it's like? I'm sorry Uncle Hank, you have no idea how sorry I am."

Hank sighed, "I know you are. So I'm going to warn you. I'm going to invite Kay to stay in my room here from now on, I'm going to be moving in with Sheridan, so there will be a free room here for her. The stuff with your mom and Charity, it's just too much for her."

"I understand. I'll pack her things, and make sure her medications come too."

"That's very nice of you Jessica. I wouldn't have expected you to offer."

"Hey, anything to get her out of my room sooner." Jessica joked.

Hank rolled his eyes, "Good-night Jessica."

"Night."

Then both hung up.

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Please, I want replies, I know it sounds pathetic, but I live for feedback, good or bad! I need to know what you think so I know where to go with this.

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