Title: Loose Ends
Chapter 10: The Last Chapter.
Disclaimer, No, not mine either.
Chapter 10
"What's the plan?"
"Why do I always have to have the plan?" House complained. He and Wilson lounged in the oncologists' office eating the last of the fries.
"You're the mastermind." Wilson said.
"Am not." House grabbed a handful of the remaining fries and stuffed them into his mouth belligerently.
"Are too." Wilson leaned back; he had no appetite, which was always a good thing when House was around.
"Not much we can do right now." House gave Wilson a sideways look as he picked up a fry. "Of course you could wander down to Cuddy's office and apologize and at the same time—"
"I'm not doing it."
"Which part?" House cocked his head to the side, his full attention on Wilson. But Wilson was one of the few people who could stand it.
"Either, none." Wilson said flatly. "I'm not dropping off your flowers even if they are a veiled insult, I'm not bugging her office for you and I'm not going to apologize."
"You're not bugging her office for us. Probably not much point now anyway, besides the general delight of spying on ones boss."
"For the ten thousandth time I'm begging you House, get a hobby, one that won't get you fired or arrested."
House picked up Wilsons phone and dialed. "Have to do everything myself." He complained.
"Yeah, yeah tell it to someone who cares."
"Is she still in." House snapped "No," He said slowly "This is Dr. House, Brenda. I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy. You remember her, short, dark hair, face like a punching bag? Uh-huh thank you."
"I take it the truce is off?"
"Yup, we are back up to def-con four." House stood up and rummaged in the box the pen had come in. "Here, see if you can pick us up from up here." He tossed a small ear bud at Wilson.
Wilson made a face but popped it into his ear anyway.
"Can you hear me?" House spoke into the pen
"You're still in the room House."
xxxx
House was just in time to intercept Cuddy. She'd cleared her desktop and was turning off her computer when he managed to limp in juggling the flowers, his cane and his temper. He was reminded, whenever he tried to maneuver something that needed both hands, just how crippled he really was and he hated being reminded.
"What not going to help the poor guy with the cane?" He barked as he dropped the potted flowers onto her coffee table with a clatter and plopped himself onto the sofa. Several people had tried to help him on the way in; he'd had to restrain himself from smacking them with the cane accidentally-on-purpose.
Cuddy did not leap up to assist him. She never did. "Where," She asked looking around.
"Nice." House pulled a vicodin out of his pocket and swallowed it.
"Only person in my office, besides me, is an asshole. What do you want House?" She bitched at him.
House pressed his lips into a thin line to keep from grinning at her. He wondered sometimes if she knew how grateful he was whenever she dismissed his leg. He hoped like hell she didn't.
"World peace?" He bitched back.
"I'll work on that."
"Or you could make up with Wilson."
"I think the world peace thing is more likely." She said rubbing her forehead and looking tired.
"Or you could tell me what happened with Tritter."
"I told you to stay out of it"
"And I ignored you. Nothing really new there," Cuddy slumped over her desk looking forlorn. "And don't pull the Damsel-In-Distress act with me, I'm not Wilson."
"For which I thank God hourly, one of each of you is enough."
"You know you want to tell me." He wheedled "Talk!" He picked up his cane rapping it on the floor. "Five cents the Doctor is In."
"If I give you a shiny quarter will you go out?"
"Cuddy—"
"House, I don't want to talk about it."
"I do."
"I don't care!"
"Listen, Cuddy" He tried to keep his voice even but it was hard, and unleashing his temper, while satisfying, was not going to make this go any faster. Cuddy wasn't afraid of his temper. Sometimes he thought she liked his temper, "my leg hurts, I'm sure your face hurts, you wanna go home, I wanna go home, at the same time we both know that I'm going to harass you until you spill the beans about the plan one way or another so can we just skip to the part where you give in?"
"You won't like it."
"I'm pretty sure I won't, but if it helps I'm much less likely to screw up your plan if I know what it is."
"Fine," She sighed. "I saw Tritter—"
"Know that."
"And tomorrow I'm going to be in meetings all day. We are getting a new head of security for the Hospital and Tritter is getting promoted."
And then Cuddy smiled and refused to say another word.
Xxxxx
The next afternoon Cuddy made her way through the hospital introducing her newest department head to his colleagues. She'd saved Diagnostics and Oncology for last and was relieved to find Wilson and House together in House's office. She only wanted to have to do this once, and they both deserved to know.
"Dr. House, Dr. Wilson." She waved at the tall fit looking man by her side. "This is Paul Bothwell. He's taking over security for the hospital."
"Nice to meet you." Wilson said ignoring Cuddy and shaking the other man's hand. "House, I've gotta go."
Cuddy closed the door and stood with her back against it shaking her head. "Nope, we need to have a little talk."
"Nothing I want to discuss with you right now Dr. Cuddy."
"Tough," She glared at him.
"Does this mean your explaining the brilliant plan?" House asked raking Bothwell with his eyes, "And did you know your new head of security has no legs?"
"House!" Wilson looked appalled.
"Yes and yes." Cuddy had warned Bothwell to expect neither tact nor tolerance from House, and by her new department heads grin that wasn't a problem. "Dr. Singer removed his legs two years ago when he was in a car accident."
"Police chase" the tall man said and shrugged.
"Chaser or chasee'?"
"Chaser, I was a lieutenant in swat, until the accident. Then I became a "Public Outreach Officer."
"Fingerprinting little kids at the mall?"
Bothwell rolled his eyes and nodded. "It's not all that bad, but it's not what I'm best at. Plus it was a bit of a paper-job. I didn't quite have my twenty years in and I was already a lieutenant so they had to create the position at that grade,"
"I've been talking with Mr. Bothwell for a while about taking over here."
House, predictably, got it first. "So you retire and come to work here with what I'm sure is a hefty salary, and the lieutenant level position of Kiddy Cop is now available."
"I have it on good authority that Detective Tritter is going to be promoted into that position." Cuddy's lips twitched.
Wilson, who was still catching up, saw it all of a sudden. Tritter who loved power and hated people, sitting in a shiny uniform, having to deal with a never ending stream of kids and their parents and stupid questions and it was a promotion. "Oh my god." His eyes widened.
House's grin was unfeigned. "Like never ending clinic duty."
"Thank you." Cuddy said softer than normal. "It wasn't easy to arrange, Paul has been willing to come over for a while. And I've wanted him too ever since you convinced that guy to shoot you, twice."
"I don't get me shot, other people shoot me." House defended himself.
Cuddy rolled her eyes and ignored the outburst. "Captain Ramsey at Princeton PD has been less… amenable to my strong suggestion for his replacement. So I convinced him that Detective Tritter was becoming too focused on personal issues and suggested a change of duties."
She pulled the spy pen out of her pocket and House and Wilson both stiffened.
"How did you find that? I hid it in your couch!" House burst out.
"You what?"
Bothwell pulled a radio out of his pocket and quietly asked someone to find the transmitter pen hidden in Dr. Cuddy's sofa.
"How come you have a pen like that?" Wilson asked trying to distract her from her outrage at their invading her privacy. "I mean we have a pen like that because you were squeezing us out, again."
Cuddy screwed the ear bud for her pen into the cap and twisted it. They could clearly here a conversation.
"I don't have company," Cuddy's voice said "I have an asshole who barged into my office uninvited. That means you're an intruder, give me the phone so I can call security."
"But you did invite me, Dr. Cuddy. You called 911."
"Two days ago, amazing response time you have."
"I thought I explained that, it's hard to take a woman who would perjure herself for a drug addict seriously."
She twisted the cap again and the playback ended. "There's more it's all pretty much like that though."
"I don't think that's legal," Wilson pointed out slowly.
"Neither is bugging my office!"
"House's idea," Wilson gave up his friend instantly.
"Wasn't working anyway." House muttered. "I should have left it on the table. All we can hear is when someone sits on the couch."
"And it didn't have to be legal; I'm not trying to send Tritter to jail."
"I still wish you would." House said.
"If he had been trying to prosecute you for something you weren't guilty of maybe I would. But as it is, he's going to be holding sticky little hands for the next few years while he dreams about retirement. "
"You have to admit it's elegant." Wilson said at last. "Was this what you were trying to do before?" he asked hesitantly. Not wanting to re-open the fight but wanting to know.
"Yes, but it was much harder. Tritter… was still working inside the lines at the time and you" She glared at House "Were clearly outside them. Which reminds me," She glanced at her watch. "I have another meeting and you have clinic duty. And we will never discuss this again."
And she swept out her highly amused new head of security following in her wake.
"Well I was hoping for something more violent myself." House said leaning back in his chair.
"I don't know," Wilson said slowly, "Tritter defines himself as being a cop, to make it so that to be that he has to do something that will make him miserable, seems pretty violent to me. But will it keep him out of our hair?"
"Oh I think so." House spun his cane in his hands. "She's impressive as hell in a temper. Tritter isn't crazy he won't risk another Cuddy-smack."
"You do." Wilson pointed out.
"But I don't think Tritter gets turned on by being yelled at by angry female authority figures."
House grinned and spun his cane and thought about how he was going to try and sneak surveillance equipment into her office, and how he could ensure being caught doing it.
The End
A/N: Yikes, that was harder than I thought. Thank you to everyone who has been reading along with me. I appreciate your good thoughts, kind reviews and attention.