Just 'Cause
I fall onto the hot desert sand, burning my bum with the day's heat. I don't mind. Heck, I can't really complain, can I? I wear the short skirt, I don't sit like a lady should sit (especially if she's wearing a skirt like this one, lemme tell ya), and I choose to sit. In the hot desert sand. Yep, can't complain.
But I can complain about the heat that's in the air. Because that is not my choice. My hover breaking down in the middle of the dig? Yeah, not my choice. My water bottle going empty because there's a hole in the bottom? Not my choice, really, but probably my fault.
I'm done with this walking thing I was trying to do. I'll never make it back to camp at this rate! With a groan, I pull out my walkie-talkie, my last resort, and I do the Rikku-thing. Ask for help.
"Hey, uh... I'm kinda stranded and lost in the middle of the Eastern Expanse. Someone wanna... help me out? A little? Kinda, sorta, a little bit? Maybe?" I wait for a response, listening to the static on the other end. No one seems to be in a talkative, help-Rikku-out kinda mood, today. "Over 'n out?"
I draw a moogle in the hot sand, burning my finger along with my bum. Static is a really annoying sound, y'know? Really hurts the ears!
"Please?"
A crackling sound emits from the speaker as I roll onto my stomach with excitement. And howl in pain because the sand just scalded my lovely tan skin. I'm glad the walkie-talkie works only when the button is pressed, 'cause my screaming was a little embarrassing. Just a little.
"So, Cid's girl's lost in Sanubia, huh? Never thought I'd have to come and rescue you from the sand worms..." That voice comes out of the speaker and I glare at it in response, pressing the button to tell him I don't nee-
"Sand worms?" I cry out, looking all around me in fright. I can't handle one of those things alone, they're fat and ugly, and they're slimy and... ew. "Where?" I forgot to not press the button. Oopsie.
He laughs at me. "Where are ya, Cid's girl?"
"Fifty east by eighty-two south! Where are the sand worms?"
"There's no sand worms, calm down." And the static comes back.
I wish I didn't have to watch out for scary lurking wormies. I hate wormies. Especially the big ones.
My moogle is getting messed up because of the wind. My beautiful moogle sand picture. I sigh in exasperation and I draw the lines deeper. It's boring, y'know? Waiting on people? Especially Gippal, he's slow. He shoulda been here by now, right? It's been two minutes-ish. Any normal person could make it to where I am from camp in two minutes-ish. Right?
I lie back in the sand, and I howl again because it's really hot. You would think I'd learn my lesson about hot sand and minimal clothing, yeah? I tap my feet in boredom, staring up at the blue sky that looks kind of purple if you stare at it long en-
The sand vibrates. My moogle picture is gone quicker than the wind would ever have destroyed my beautiful creation. "Sand worm!" I squeal, jumping up from the hot ground.
I look ahead of me, just to make sure the icky thing hasn't popped out of the ground right in front of me, and I fall right over, because there's Gippal in a huge hover. No normal person could make it to where I am from camp so fast. But Gippal brought a new model, I guess, because he did. I blink at him, because he looks way darker than usual. It's probably from staring at the purple sky for too long. He's tan… he's not that tan. He's not a crispy campfire marshmallow. And sadly, I don't know if he's as yummy as one, 'cause I've never gotten to try to… yeah. Not finishing that thought.
"I know I'm hot, Cid's girl, but it's so obvious when you stare at me like that," he says with a charming smile, hopping down out of the hover.
I groan and stomp my foot on the sand. "Why d'ya always have to be so… so…"
"Amazing? I don't know, it just happens." He chuckles as I roll my eyes in frustration as he walks over and picks up my heavy bag, full of parts that I found before my hover kinda broke down and my water kinda ran out. Yeah.
"I can carry that, y'know."
"I got it. It'll take us forever to get back to camp if I let you pick it up. And I'm hot."
"You already said that."
Now it's his turn to roll his eyes at me. "I mean physically." I giggle. "Like temperature." I giggle again. "Like, you know, sun, sand, no shade, burning?" He shakes his head as I just continue to giggle.
"I'm not stupid. I know what you mean. But seeing you explain it was pretty funny."
"Watch out for that sand worm, Cid's girl." I jump toward him, away from the- argh, boys. He laughs when I punch him in the arm. Yeah, it was my eyes. He's not so crispy looking anymore.
"Meanie."
"Gullible."
"Shut up!"
He tosses the bag into the storage area in the back and watches me struggle to get into the tall hover that has no Rikku-friendly step-up thingamajig for a few minutes before actually deciding to be a gentleman and offering his hand. I glare at him before taking it and hauling myself into the nice shady hover with tinted windows and cold air vents.
He adjusts everything when he gets inside before looking over at me critically. "How long were you out there, kid?"
"Stop calling me that." I think for a minute. "Before I called you, y'mean? 'Cause I was only out there for like five minutes after I called you, this sucker must be fast."
"It is fast."
"Uhm… hm… maybe an hour? I don't know. D'ya have any water? I'm thirsty as a shoopuf during mating season…" I look up at the ceiling for a few seconds, a little confused. "Are they thirstier than usual during mating season?"
He blinks at me for a moment, concentrating heavily as he thinks. "I dunno… that's actually a good question." He turns around in his seat and reaches into the back, handing me a bottle of water from the ice chest. "Drink up… you've been outta the desert for too long, Riks."
"Oh my goodness, the creep used my name." I laugh as he glares at me, half out of his seat, his nice little tushie in the ai- what am I saying? Erase that. His butt in the air, looking ridiculous. Yes, that's what I meant. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you're burnt all over the place. It probably doesn't help that you wear absolutely nothing… here." He sets a bottle of moisturizer next to me and turns back around in his seat. "Put that on. If you do it now, you might not peel as bad, and it sure as hell won't be as painful."
I just drain my water bottle while I sit in confusion. I was much thirstier than I thought I guess! Since when does Mr. I'm-Amazing care about anyone else?
"I never burn when I'm out here!" I protest, looking at the bottle of moisturizer. Nice stuff. Expensive. Maybe I'll swipe it, even though I really don't need it.
"You did this time. Just put that shit on, it'll help, I promise. I didn't believe Nhadala when she told me Yevon was turning me white, and I blistered and it was not fun. At all. So just do it. I'm giving you a helpful hint here."
I shrug and start to lotion up my legs, kicking one up on the dashboard of the hover as he starts to drive further into the desert. "You got a sunburn? That's a sight I wish I saw…" I grin. "Well, you're probably whiter than me. Djose is kind of cloudy and depressing, y'know. Besaid's a little better for the skin tone."
"Yeah, well, that's where the job is, so that's where I've gotta be, right?" He watches me as I rubbed the lotion into my leg for a moment, then shakes his head.
I snigger. "Now who's the hot one?" He laughs lightly, and I continue to lotion up. He's right. I am burnt. And pretty badly, too, since it hurts to touch my shoulder to put the damn lotion on it. "Where are we going?" I ask, glancing occasionally out at the sand dunes as we pass them.
"I told Nhadala I'd go and check out a problem in the Southern Expanse while I was out. Have a problem with that?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
"No! As long as I don't have to save your ass from those huge bird things."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" He reaches over and tweaks my nose. "They're called Zu's, Cid's girl."
I smack his hand away, whimpering as I touch my tender nose. "That hurt, you meanie! Don't you realize I'm burnt, here? Like… like… electrical fire, lightning struck, toasty on a stick, hot and still burning burnt?"
He blinks innocently at me before a devilish look spreads over his face. He's kinda scary looking when he gets that creepy little insane grin in his face. Sometimes when that happens, he giggles. Which is even scarier, because he's Gippal. And Giggling Gippal is just… freakishly freaky. "Toasty on a stick, huh?"
"Yes, yes, that's what I said, toasty on a –" Oh I get it. He's making a dirty joke. And he thinks it's really funny and he's about to giggle at me and get all creepy. "You're… you're a dirty minded boy, Gippal. Gross… don't laugh."
He keeps laughing for a while, stealing glances at me as I moodily pick up his fancy-schmancy lotion and put some on my baked stomach. "Dirty minded boy? Is that the best you got?"
"…yes." He laughs again as I smooth some of the lotion onto my chest and my arms. I rub it in slowly. Just 'cause it hurts. And maybe 'cause I like the way he looks out of the corner of his eyes so he can pretend he's not watching. Maybe it's not so bad that he was the one to save me from the wormies, after all. It's sort of fun to torture him like this. "When we stop to get the birdie things, can you rub some into my back?" I ask, batting my eyelashes at him just for fun. He looks sort of like a melty marshmallow when I do that. "I burned it on the sand."
"Okay," he says, not even stopping to consider it. I giggle a little as his cheeks get a little red.
"Looks like you burned, too." I reach over teasingly and dab some lotion onto his oh-so-cute blushing little cheeks.
He bats my hands away, steadying the steering wheel of the hover before he reaches over to mess up my pretty much awesome hair just like he always does. I smack his hand again.
"Why can't you realize that I'm-"
"-electrical fire, lightning struck, toasty on a stick, hot and still burning burnt?" he asks sarcastically, keeping his eyes on the desert in front of us. "I realize, I realize." He's a meanie. I sorta want to hit him again, but his cheeks are so cute when they're red and I don't want to land a good punch and make him more embarrassed that he's getting hit by a girl. And I don't want him to crack a joke about how I'm hitting on him. Because I know he will. Instead, I just rub some lotion onto my burninated scalp, since my hair's already ruined and stupid and getting it all lotion-y can't mess it up any more than he did.
"So why can't you stop with the painful touching and stuff?" I ask grumpily, reaching into the cooler for another bottle of water.
"Can't help it, kid, you're so hot I just have to touch you." I spit a little of the water in my mouth out and try to act like nothing's happened when he smirks at me. "You know, get your temperature down a little. Don't want your little brain to fry."
With a great dignified sniff, I cross my arms and stare straight ahead. "I'll give you 'little brain' you pompous little di-"
He gently taps my shoulder and I stare at him, confused. "Did that hurt?" he asks, and I shake my head no. "Good… okay. I stopped with the painful touching. Better?" I shake my head yes. "See, told you that you were so hot I had to keep touching you."
"Just because I'm still baking," I say sulkily.
"Naw," he says with a smirk. The hover starts to slow down as we approach a small set of ruins with big brown nests on top of them, and he sighs as he feels my forehead. Smirks again as he drags a finger down the side of my cheek, trails it down my neck and my arm, and then gives my hand a little, non-painful squeeze. "Just 'cause." And I feel a little melty marshmallow-y myself.
Hey everyone... I don't write humor that often, but hopefully it worked this time around. I started writing it a long time ago and finished on a spurt of... random inspiration, I suppose, a few weeks back. Please leave reviews to let me know what you think, what you like and don't like, characterization flaws, that sort of thing! I love to hear from you! Thanks so much!