Remember Me

"Marti, what are you doing?"

"I'm having a tea party. Want to join us?"

I looked at all the toys sitting around the tiny table. Fluffy bears, stuffed animal cats, baby dolls dressed in pink dresses.

I smiled. "I would love too."

I sat cross legged on the floor near the table and Marti sat across from me. She poured me a cup of imaginary tea and I pretended to sip from the plastic tea cup. Marti beamed at me, making me feel guilty for not doing this more often with her.

I studied her as she played with her toys. She carried on a conversation with a bear. It was one with a red bow around his neck. The one I gave her for Christmas several years ago. Her face was so lit up and colorful. Her eyes were how they usually are: Bright and full of life and laughter. It made me sick to think that I was responsible for taking that away.

"I miss you, Smarti," I whispered. My eyes started to sting and I fought to keep the tears at bay.

She looked up at me with a slight frown on her beautiful little face. "I miss you too. But I'm happy and I want you to be happy too."

How could she want me to be happy? I was the one who made her the way she was. I did this to her and she still loved me. How was that possible?

"Marti, I'm so sorry."

At this she got up and came around to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her tight, as if I would die if she let go.

"I'm not mad at you," she said, as if this should take away all my troubles, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" I asked.

"You just want to blame someone, you know, like the way you always blame Edwin?"

I laughed at the thought. It was the first time I had laughed since the accident.

"When did you get to be so smart?" I asked jokingly. She didn't answer.

Looking around, I noticed how perfect it was there. No hurt or suffering. It was just Marti's room. The only difference was that it was spotlessly clean. But everything she owned was there, right down to the pink beaded necklace she had made and hung up on the wall.

And then I thought about Marti's room back in reality. It was empty.

"Can I just stay here with you?"

Marti shook her head. "You have to go back soon. I just wanted to talk to you, cause I know you don't feel good."

I felt a slight pull and I could feel the warmth of a blanket, even though nothing was covering me.

"Marti, I don't want to go." I pulled her into another hug. She gripped my shirt in her little fists and I felt her tears.

Reality was becoming clearer. The room around me became faint.

"I love you," Marti said, "Don't forget about me, okay Smerek?"

A lump rose in my throat. "I could never forget you Smarti." My voice broke on the last word and I wasn't sure if she heard it before I woke up.