LSKHDAFlksdhfalkfhasdpfihovhnwlakherlskhfdasdf.!!! The world (specifically, school) is made of fail.

That's all I have to say with this chapter. Sorry this is moving more slowly than I planned... But hey, I'm not going on hiatus or giving up. It's against my rules.

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I get back to the hotel to find the lights still on.

Oh, no.

This could either mean one of two things.

First, it could mean that Deidara's ticked off because I'm getting back late. Ticked off because I got him worried, and he doesn't like that, because being worried forces him to acknowledge that he actually cares about another living being.

Second, it could mean that Deidara's just up late for some reason. He's either working on art, or dropping artwork from the hotel room's window into the nearby gardens for "public display". I learned very quickly that, when Deidara gets bored in large cities, he has ways to entertain himself.

Either way, I prepare myself for pain.

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Deidara is surprisingly not-murderous.

"Tobi, you have grass stuck to your face, un." He says, and leaves it at that, waiting for me to explain.

I don't.

"Some local girl put up more of a fight than you'd expected?" He deadpans, but I can see him trying not to snicker. His ability to laugh at his own wit is not his most endearing feature.

"That's not what happened."

"Local guy, then?" Okay, now it's getting annoying. He's got that bright shine in his eye where he knows he's onto something. It seems odd to call a grown man mischievous, but I suppose it's also even more odd to call Deidara a grown man.

"Nope."

"Local transvestite?"

"Nope."

"Livestock?"

"Has it occurred to you that, despite being an Akatsuki member, I actually have better things to do than rape and pillage in my free time?"

"WOAH. Unexpected coherency, un." Still with the impish look, he's studying me, trying to figure out what just happened.

Aside from forgetting I have a face, I think sometimes he forgets I have a brain.

He looks like he's finally lit on a conclusion as to why I'm making sense. "Who are you, really?"

"I'm Tobi."

"Real name?"

"Remember? I don't know my real name. Tobi's what Zetsu called me."

He pauses. "Wait, really? I thought you knew it, un… Why wouldn't Zetsu tell you?"

"I dunno. Because he's a friggin' venus flytrap?" I'm hoping the usual stupidity will get him to stop being annoying.

"Okay, you're Tobi, un. I think. For now." He's somewhat joking, but still suspicious. He thinks for a few moments. "Hey, if you're really Tobi, where'd I set up that, er, art show two weeks ago?"

"Into a group of schoolchildren. None of them were injured. I wouldn't have laughed if any of them were…"

"Liar, un. But, you're Tobi, I'm pretty sure. Nobody else would remember that, un."

It's weird that he trusts my memory, even after I've just admitted to not knowing my own name.

Oh, well. He knows more than I do, I think, and I'm just going to have to live with that. Like I said, if I forgot anything too bad, I'd rather not remember it.

I'd rather be Tobi than a mental patient.