Pairing: KakaSaku
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama... lots of it.

Summary: Kakashi and Sakura discuss the ups and downs of Kakashi's hair... mostly ups.

A/N: The result of a plot bunny that wouldn't die, because no relationship is complete without discussing hair tips. I know it isn't funny, not really, but enjoy the randomness.

"I don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Kakashi gestured to the bowl of ramen. "Want some?"

"I've been observing for the past few days," Sakura leaned back against her seat and gave a frustrated sigh. "And if my deductions are correct, you don't use gel and you don't use conditioner so…"

She folded her arms and let out a huff. "How the hell do you manage to get your hair to stay like that?"

"A law of nature," Kakashi replied cheerfully and lifted a chopstick of noodles. "Are you sure you don't want some?"

"No." Sakura waved her hand impatiently. "The laws of nature clearly indicating that what goes up must come down. Your hair remains where it always does."

It was here that the Copy-Nin realized Sakura was having another female revelation. With a sad goodbye to a warm meal, he placed down his chopsticks and gave her a look of utmost patience.

"Mind telling me what this is about?"

In an instant, Sakura's cheeks reddened and her chin lifted indignantly. "Of course not."

A moment of silence passed as they stared resolutely at each other. Kakashi's stomach rumbled.

"Okay, fine…" Sakura shot her ex-sensei a look of deep resentment. "Ino and I…we were talking about how our hair is always sagging onto our foreheads and if there were a way to give it more volume and we figured that you might know something about it considering your hair's always standing on ends, no pun intended, and I was going to ask Naruto or Sasuke but I rethought my decision, naturally, because knowing them, they'd tease or mock me for being a girl so I thought – for God's sake, don't look at my forehead like that!"

Kakashi's eyes snapped to Sakura's face immediately.

"I wasn't looking at your forehead." he replied. Better placate the girl than to agitate her when the conversation had barely begun. "Your hair is fine the way it is."

"Oh please, Kakashi. Stop humoring me." Sakura rolled her eyes in exasperation, though looking remarkably pleaser than moments ago. She considered his reply. "Are you sure you aren't using some jutsu to make them stand up like that?"

"Sakura," Kakashi explained patiently. "I can think of many other places I'd like to use this non-existent jutsu on, other than my hair."

He pulled the ramen bowl out of the kunoichi's reach before she could flip it onto his head.

"Besides," he continued, "having hair that sticks on ends isn't necessarily good, especially when the only thing that's stopping you from genocide during missions is discovering that your hair has somehow grown an affinity with the bushes."

Sakura laughed. Kakashi gave her a wounded look.

"I'm serious."

"No, you're not."

"Okay, I'm not."

A frustrated sigh and an eye roll heavenward. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."

Kakashi couldn't believe it either. His hand inched discreetly towards the ramen bowl.

Sakura slapped it away.

"I don't get why most of the guys in Konoha have pointy hair while we are stuck with flat heads and centre hairlines…"

"Because Kishimoto drew it that way?"

Sakura blinked and stared at him. "Look, Kakashi. If you don't tell me, I'm going to put a kunai between your eyes and drag out your brain through your nostrils –"

Kakashi refused to move his fingers.

"—like the damn ramen you're trying to eat."

He paused, tapped his chin and pondered her reply, "I think I'm ready to answer your question now, Sakura-chan."

She beamed at him as he pulled down his mask and told her.

There was silence. After a while:

"Really?" Sakura's eyes were wide. "This – this Hair Growth Technique No. 5 you're talking about – does it work on girls?"

"Afraid not." Kakashi shrugged. The ramen was delicious. Jiraiya probably never went hungry when he made him promise.

There was a moment of silence. Birds chirped happily outside the window. It was a beautiful day.

Then: "Who the hell is Kishimoto?"

Two blocks away, someone sneezed.

More birds chirped. Clouds floated by. Then:

"The 10th Hokage."

Some things were better left unsaid.

More Author's Note: Bahahahaha. Because Kakashi knows everything.