I do not own The Twilight Series. All Three books belong to Stephenie Meyer.
THE VOLTURI APPLICATION ANDTHINGS THAT PISS OFF EDWARD
BY: ALUNAMAI AND LASTARAS
Thank you for time spent filling out this application. We will gladly look over your application and will give you notice with in the next week.
Please fill out all information.
12. Your name
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen
2. Age
17… or 106 take your pick.
3. Race
Vampire
4. Six pence none the richer
Six pence none the richer… who the hell is writing this. Edward thought to himself.
6. Are you Carlisle Cullen? If not, why?
No because I was born in 1901 not 1640. I am not a blonde. And I am not a doctor.
7. Black socks they never get dirty the longer the blacker they get. Some day I'll probably launder them. But something keeps telling me don't do it yet. Not yet. Not Yet.
Is this a question.
WTF?
8. Call me when you're sober.
Call who when I'm sober?
9. If you're Carlisle, definitely call me when you're NOT sober. I'm really curious.
10. How's Esme?
She's fine. She just finished putting up new wall paper in …. Wait, why am I answering this.
11. Siriusly call me.
For your information, Siriusly is spelled Seriously… where did you get that spelling.
12. So, what's Bella like in bed?
WHAT! WHO THE HELL IS ASKING ALL THESE STUPID QUESTIONS?
78. Your mind is very loud right now.
13. This land is your land.
This land is my land?
14. Have you ever taken human life? If so, YAY!
Maybe back in the twenty's why would it matter now?
15. Whose writing this application?
I could only guess… umm, Aro.
16. Where is Carlisle now… as in at this very moment?
…
17. Where's the beef?
At a store.
18. Have you ever seen a monkey ask a moose to a moose lodge meeting?
Umm. No. Can't say I have.
19. Is Chuck Norris your friend?
No. Ask Emmett that.
20. If you could be Carlisle Cullen, would you date me?
No, especially if I was, I would have a wife and six "children."
21. What time is it?
I don't know, you guys wouldn't let me have a watch.
22. Are you a Mao Mao?
I don't recall ever being a communistic leader of China… nor a cat's pet name…
2214. What day is it?
Why it's Christmas Eve sir… what do you think?
24. Are you gay?
No.
25. I never said you were the communistic leader of china… I just asked if you were Mao Mao.
Who the hell is Mao Mao?
26. Carlisle Cullen.
Is that an answer to the question I just asked you… and how would you have known?
27. Do you like bears?
No. I am more of a mountain lion man. Why do you ask?
28. Just because.
Is it me or is this application weird? Edward thought as he read the last question.
29. Do you like gummy bears?
No, I am a vampire… wait… are they blood filled.
30. What is 2 plus 6 plus 987,765,879,876,788,754,575,457,678,799 multiplied by 655 divided by 2?
3.2349332565964831712346238980929 e plus 32 did you really think I wouldn't use a calculator to solve that.
56. What is Carlisle like in opinion? Or If you are Carlisle, Describe yourself… in detail.
34. He is a wonderful man who likes moonlit walks with his wife Esme. He is a doctor who.. why am I answering this?
32. Do you like the potential break up song?
Um, no.
33. How long have you been a vampire?
About ninety years.
34. What house are you in at Hogwarts?
I don't know.
A/N: Okay that is it for this portion. Please send us reviews and please give us some question ideas. Oh and all numbering issues are on purpose…