Pervert. A word usually used to describe most members of the male species. Certainly not her. She was more used to 'slut' and 'whore' than anything else. She could deal with those. Pervert, however, was certainly new and she didn't know what to think of it.

She took a glance at the person standing in front of her, telling her all one hundred and sixty two reasons why she was such. His eyes danced with amusement and she clenched her fist, pissed that her teammate would call her such a thing. She wasn't team seven's sensei after all.

After noticing the dangerous aura emitting from his teammate, he smiled. 'Checkmate.'

Ino turned away from him and started walking, huffing along the way, wondering why Shikamaru of all people would call her a pervert. Hell, she hardly remembered saying more than two words to him after she made chuunin, so why exactly were they having this conversation now? Oh, yes, she remembered. She had let it slip that she thought he'd look sexy with his hair down. Why she'd even said that was beyond her.

Then, Shikamaru had the nerve to call her a bloody pervert after that. Oh, that stupid, lazy man. When would he ever get that she was trying to compliment him in her own weird and distorted way. Ino slightly snickered at his idiotism even when he was a genius. No, she presumed, geniuses definitely did not know everything; especially when it came to girls.

Ino stopped and glanced at the cerulean sky, her eyes slightly glazing over. But, she was used to hearing derogative nicknames from the public. As far as they were concerned, her outfit was a bit too skimpy and her attitude was not entirely innocent. She had never thought anything of it until pervert came up. She wondered if she really was such and just never noticed it. After all, all the times she'd teased Chouji or Shikamaru, they'd turn red on the spot. Was she really being that naughty with her statements? She'd thought she'd been slyly hinting at ways for the boy's to finally get a date.

The more she thought about it, the more Ino felt like a perverted freak. God, she'd even acted that way around girls. Was it really all that perverted in the first place?

Shikamaru smiled from where he was watching her, entirely satisfied with this outcome. He could see the confusion and annoyance on her face. 'Go on Ino, get paranoid. That only makes stage one of my plan complete.'

He yawned before walking up behind her silently. His hand patted the top of her head and she gazed at him with anger, exasperation, and resentment on her face. "Am I really a pervert?" she asked him quietly, struggling to figure out a loophole for this particular insult.

Shikamaru shrugged and asked, "How should I know?"

Ino noted the dry tone in his voice and resisted the urge to throttle him. He always did this and, to be honest, it set her teetering on the edge of sanity. Ino was still amazed that she hadn't gone insane over the years she had actually spoken to him. His tranquility didn't help him much in the fact that Ino smacked him in the back of his head, "Get that damn serene, 'I know it all' look off your face!"

"But Ino," he semi whined, "I do know it all. And you really ought to stop masturbating when you're on the phone."

"I don't do that," Ino nearly yelled in frustration, "Why would you even think I would?"

Shikamaru smirked at her quite dirtily, "I saw you, you troublesome woman. And on top of that, you were on the phone with me."

Ino paled for a split second before her anger overtook her. "I never did that," she yelled, "Clearly, you've been dreaming about me!"

"And so what if I have?" Shikamaru shrugged gently, "I have the right to; it's my mind."

"But that makes you the pervert," Ino said pointedly.

"No, it makes you one because you just automatically assumed I'd dream of your body writhing under mine, begging me for more," Shikamaru calmly stated while staring at her, "I only said it to be you masturbating on the phone. An image any teenage boy would have."

Ino, utterly dumbfounded at Shikamaru's stupidity, stood stock still, wondering if he really had dreamed of her in such a defiling way. It made her wonder if others had the same sort of dream. Suddenly a smirk formed on Ino's lips. "But you did dream of me," she said as her grin widened, "You want me."

A faint blush settled across the boy's cheeks and he looked away from her to ignore the victorious look on her face. 'Stage one: complete. Stage two: failed. Ino's supposed to be the flustered one, not me. Damn troublesome woman.'

"Pervert," Ino teased, happy to throw his own comment back into his face, "You're just like the rest of the male population, you sickening pig. Just kidding, you're actually better than them."

"I am?" he asked her skeptically, vaguely wondering if she realized anything strange about their conversation at all.

"Yeah," Ino nodded enthusiastically, "You haven't touched me in the wrong way or anything!"

"I haven't?" Shikamaru placed his hands on her waist and yanked her until she was only centimeters from his face, "What makes you think that?"

Ino had no retort and she gazed at the taller chuunin in utter disorientation. With Shikamaru saying that, she no longer knew if she was correct in her assumptions. She gazed into his dark hazel eyes, desperately trying to read him and to get a hint at any probable reason he'd say such a thing.

She became even more bewildered when he leaned over and whispered in her ear. It sent shivers up her spine and she tried to get away from his warm breath. Her attempts, however, proved to be futile when he wound his arms even more tightly around her thin frame. Ino gasped when her breasts pressed against his chest and she turned a pale fuchsia. Her eyes grew round when he buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. If Ino hadn't been a pervert before, she definitely was one now, with all of the thoughts that suddenly infiltrated her mind.

She angrily shoved Shikamaru away, with a delayed reaction, of course, and stomped off, pissed at herself for even liking the physical contact in the first place. She kicked a pepple on the ground, watching it skip across the dirt road and settle for her to kick it again. "Damn, bloody fucking hell," she cursed, stumbling over a tree root, "Now I can't stop thinking of him."

Shikamaru remained where he stood, a somewhat stupid smile crossing his face. Of course, he'd been waiting to hold Ino since they graduated from the academy and no, not because she was using one of her jutsus. And here was the best part: she hadn't beaten him to the high heavens. 'Stage three: more than complete. Pure genius.'

Oh my god, I love this oneshot to death 3

The idea came to me in the middle of the night and I so had to get it down on paper.

Tell me whatcha think!