Author's Note: Well, all I can say right now is I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone. If I get any major facts wrong about Beast Boy's past, then please tell me. I am a stickler for perfection.

Disclaimer: I can't think of any witty responses right now, but I don't own them.

Poll: How do you, personally, pronounce Sakutia?


Chapter 1

Cleanup


Beast Boy rolled over, a groan emitting from his sleeping body. His hand flopped over the side of the bed, his gloves still on. He never took them off except to change them…he couldn't. But, it was no longer his choice. The glove loosened, it's Velcro separated in the night's regular tossing and turning. Steadily, inch by inch, gravity tempted it closer to the ground. For what seemed like hours, it dragged downward, it's mission almost complete. With one final movement, it fell down the side of the bunk bed, landing with a quiet thud.

The green Titan remained asleep, unaware of his sudden, unwanted exposure. He flinched slightly, one of many reactions to his dreams. None of which were ever pleasant. It seemed to him that sleep was not a way to rest, to rejuvenate, to think of happy things that would make him want so readily to wake up in the morning. No. Sleep was a time for nightmares, for more stress, for the days demons to enlarge, gain power, and rule his body for a full four hours. For that was all the sleep he ever got. Insomnia and fear got the better of him. Fear of what would happen, and did happen, when he slept. Fear of what could happen if he was not alert, not wary of the large window in his room. Fear of who, or what, might just fill their lust and kill him in his sleep.

What the Titans didn't know couldn't hurt them. But the less he knew about something, the more dangerous it seemed. There were many who wanted Beast Boy dead, he knew. He could list three off of the top of his head. That is, if you counted the Brotherhood of Evil as one person. If not, he could think of hundreds. That was his life. Living and sleeping in fear, going night and day wondering if it was to be your last. Which was one reason why he was always so giddy. If he wasn't, then he might just have spent his last day being anything but happy. In other words, if he didn't play the role of the joker on the team, then he just might spend his last day being himself.

He was no prankster, no kid. At times, he felt more mature than even Robin. But if the others knew, he would only be laughed at. Besides, laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone. Beast Boy had yet to find a saying that applied to him so well. After all, when he was having a bad day and just couldn't find that happy-go-lucky part of his personality, everyone left him alone. Even Raven, who was apparently so attuned to how the others were feeling, wouldn't respond to his silent pleas of loneliness, or fear.


Letting out an animalistic cry that was stuck between a wolf's howl and a human's scream, the teenager jolted from his sleep, sitting straight up. For a moment, panic set in, and he scrambled off of his bed and looked around his room fearfully. Noticing there was no intruder, nor anything out of place, he calmed. Eyes wandered to his left shoulder, where a moment ago he could have sworn he felt a needle. However, there wasn't a single sign of one. No syringe, no needle, no hole in his arm where pain was still radiating from. That dream had been all too realistic.

A soft knock resounded off of his door. It was too light to be Cyborg, too tentative to be Starfire, and too quiet to be Robin. That left Raven. Beast Boy opened the door in the manner Raven oftentimes did. He slid it open a mere few inches, staring at her pale, gorgeous face, and revealing only half of his.

"What?" He asked, now wide awake.

"I heard a scream. Are you okay?" Her voice was monotone, uncaring. Obviously she had been sent by the others to check on him.

"I'm fine." He insisted, a little too harshly.

"Where's your glove?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My wha…shit!" His bare hand shot behind his back, his eyes darting around. Where could that damn thing have run off to? Oh, there it was.

His one gloved hand grabbed the attire, quickly putting it in place. Raven watched him, interested in his strange behavior. Well, he was always strange, but this was strange even for him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Now, she was almost worried. Almost.

"I'm fine!" He shouted at her, the door slamming shut.


His muscles quivered, his mind swam. Did she see? Did she see his hand? Or did she just notice that it wasn't clothed? But, if she did see, he was in trouble. There would be questions, Cyborg would want to look at it, Raven would want to heal it, Starfire would gently pry out of him where he got it. Robin would interrogate him until he cracked. If she saw the mangled, scarred, twisted flesh one would call a hand, it would be trouble.
Raven stood outside the door, her curiosity-and worry-piqued. He'd never yelled at her…or anyone for that matter…let alone slammed the door in her face. At least, not when he was feeling like himself. Was he sick? Or did it have to do with what she saw on his hand? She hadn't gotten a good look…she only saw a blur of bumps and contorted skin. But it was enough. Something had happened, or maybe was happening. Something wasn't right. But, what could she do about it? She knew he wouldn't appreciate her telling Robin, or anyone for that matter. But she couldn't just let it be. Could she?
In his room, Beast Boy was collapsed on the lower bunk of his bed. Why did he even have a bunk bed? He didn't need it. Heck, if he wanted to, he could just take out the bottom bed and put a couch or something there, and make his own little game area. Huh…not a bad idea. He would get the measurements for a couch later. Right now, though, if he was even going to think of doing that, he would have to clean his room.

Rummaging through the piles, he began to sort his items. Books, comics, and movies to his right, stuff that needed to be thrown in a hazardous waste dump into the black garbage bags he had, other things that needed to be thrown away into the white ones, video games to his left, random toys and such behind him, and laundry in front.

"How did I survive with all this toxic crap around me?" He wondered aloud.

Getting a little bored, Beast Boy reached for his stereo. Just a flip of a single switch and his room would be flooded with a much-needed rock song. His now-gloved finger pressed the button, and, as he had hoped, the music maker played Until the End by Breaking Benjamin. As he softly bobbed to the song, he continued cleaning.


"Has Beast Boy seemed…off…to you Cyborg?" Raven asked softly. They were alone in the garage, but she didn't want anyone besides him finding out she was worried…at least, not yet.

"Girl, the kid is always 'off'." He joked.

"I'm serious. This morning, he wasn't acting like himself. He was jittery, upset, and he slammed the door in my face." Raven didn't mention the glove. He didn't need to know yet.

"He slammed the door…in your face?" Obviously Cyborg had a hard time believing this. "Come to think of it, the grass stain has been quiet lately. I haven't heard him make a single joke for almost a week now. Why? You think something's up?"

"No." She answered sarcastically. "Of course I do. I'm worried about him. He's been having a lot of nightmares lately…more than usual. I've been having a hard time sleeping because of it, and it seems to me he doesn't sleep at all anymore."

"You want me to do a check on him?"

"Could you? But, run a check on everyone. Just to make it seem less suspicious. I have a feeling he will be expecting this."

"Will do, Rae." The half-robot gave the half-demon a thumbs up, but sweat dropped when he saw her glare. "…ven." He corrected.

"Thank you." Without another word, she turned around and left.


It was approaching two in the afternoon, and Beast Boy hadn't eaten all day. He wasn't hungry. It was probably just from keeping himself busy. Who knew he had a steel-blue carpet? However, with all the stains, it wouldn't be like that for long. He would have to replace that while he was recreating the bottom bunk. Ah well. It would keep him occupied.

His ears perked as the sound of heavy footsteps approached. Cyborg…probably wanting to look at his hand. How could Raven rat him out like that? The traitor! As Beast Boy stormed to the door, he thought for a moment. Maybe his friend was just worried. He hadn't come down once that day…not for food, water, even video games. And that wasn't like him. Of course, right now, he didn't feel like himself. He couldn't shake his nightmare. But the less Cyborg knew, the better.

Not three seconds after the elf reached his door, Cyborg knocked…loudly. The room shook a bit…he sounded mad. Or maybe he was just in a hurry. Whenever he had something planned, the eldest Titan would get a little carried away and forget his strength. Which became obvious when a dent appeared in Beast Boy's door.

"Yo! B! Physicals in the med bay in fifteen minutes!" The black teenager called to him.

Physicals? They had just had physicals four months ago. Usually they had them once every six months. Something was up. Raven. She had told him. The bitch. But, maybe she had just been worried. The two had never been close, but boy did Beast Boy wish they were. But it would never work, he had convinced himself of that. He had all but given up on her. He had stopped his lame jokes…he knew they annoyed everyone. He had stopped trying to make her tea…she never trusted him with it. He had stopped trying to read her books…she only got mad when she found out. Over all, he had just stopped. He barely even spoke to her anymore, and for reasons like this. He couldn't trust her.

"I'll be there." He called, his voice closely resembling Raven's monotone one.


On the other side of the door, Cyborg looked at the piece of sliding metal, clearly puzzled. There wasn't a hint of life in the shape shifter's voice. His usual sparky words were dull and without the slightest hint of a flame. Yah, something was wrong with him. Shrugging, the tall teen trudged down the hall, not looking back.
When he was met with silence, then the loud footfalls of Cyborg, Beast Boy realized he was in trouble. He would be there? He didn't want to be…why had he said he would? The physicals never included Beast Boy's hands, but if he was correct, because of Raven, this time it would. Ten minutes later, as promised, he left his now almost clean room and walked down the hall. His shoulders were slumped, his movements all but steady. His mind was dark with dread…they would find out. Find out what did happen, what was happening, and what would happen in the near future.

As he entered the medical room, he couldn't help but gag. The smell of ammonia and sickness flooded his senses, driving him crazy. He hated this place with the burning passion of a thousand red hot suns. And why did it have to be white? Why couldn't sterile things be a better, less blinding color? Like black? Or Navy? Or Indigo? Or anything but freaking white! As he shielded his eyes from the horrid color, he noticed everyone staring at him. Raven was worried, Cyborg looked suspicious and worried, Robin was indifferent, and Starfire was curious.

"Alright, B. Your turn." Cyborg walked towards him, and the green teenager instinctively took a step back, putting his hands behind his back. Well, if they didn't suspect him, they did now. "Man, what's wrong? You can tell us."

Beast Boy shot a death glare at Raven, who returned it with a blank stare of her own. He merely shook his head in the negative, his body quivering. He didn't trust them. In their attempt to "help" him, they would destroy him. He didn't need them. They wouldn't be able to provide safety for what was coming. After all, he knew who he was before, and that he was a Titan. It wasn't hard to put together. Green kid with pointy ears and a fang, green Titan with pointy ears and a fang…not that hard to miss.

Everyone stared at him silently. Beast Boy inched closer to the door, rage consuming him. They wouldn't know how to help them, and all attempts would be futile and a waste of time. He couldn't let them try. They would end up studying him like he did, like some animal. A low, predatory growl emitted from his throat, barely audible, but there. He crouched slightly, ready to run. Cyborg reached for him, soothingly trying to calm him down. But, instead of gaining his trust, he only lost it. Beast Boy tried to bolt for the door, but Cyborg's large hands gripped his shoulders, restraining him.

"What has gotten into you, man?" He yelled, trying to get through to his friend.

He was met with a kick in the shin. It didn't hurt him, but it startled him. Beast Boy clawed and struggled, fighting against Cyborg's grip. The other Titans watched his attempt at freedom, shocked. He was acting like a caged animal.

"Robin! See that vile on the counter, the one with the clear liquid?" Cyborg motioned to the bar on the far wall. Robin nodded, running to get it.

The Boy Wonder handed the syringe to the metal man, who in turn jabbed it into the green changeling's arm. Still Beast Boy struggled, though his movements grew weak. He whimpered in defeat, his vision growing dim and body slacking. Before unconsciousness took him over, he heard someone…he couldn't quite tell who…mutter "Sorry Beast Boy." And he was gone.