Hello. This is my first shot at a Mer/Der story. Hopefully it will get better as we move along. Have patience with updates though, I am pregnant and run after a toddler all day. Reviews, constructive criticism are more then welcome. I have started Chapter Two at length. It should be up shortly. The one thing I truly am terrible at is dialogue so if the updates are delayed its because a) I am pregnant b) My toddler is not sleeping c) I am tweaking and re-tweaking the dialogue between the characters. Thanks for reading!

I guess I forgot the disclaimer. Um, all characters, not mine. They belong to Shonda and ABC. (unfortunately). I seek no monetary gain for their use. I just want to play with them and make them bright and shiny for awhile. Ok well not completely bright and shiny, but certainly more then Shonda likes them to be.

There was truth to the often spoken word that Hawaii is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Lush vegetation and miles of gorgeous ocean shore make this cluster of tiny islands the place to retreat to when you want to forget about the real world. And when you want the real world to forget about you, at least for a little while. And never was this more true for anyone then it was for Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang.

Desperate to escape the harsh realties of their careers and their love lives, the two surgical interns had retreated to the island paradise.

They sat at the small cafe. A morning feast of of fresh fruit, Eggs Benedict and sweet rolls sat untouched between them. Neither of them seemed to have much of an appetite this morning. Their minds distracted by thoughts that had nothing to do with gourmet food. The pot of hot Kona coffee however sat empty, a steaming cup sitting comfortably in front of each woman.

After taking a swig of coffee, Cristina leaned back in her chair and placed both her hands behind her head. She eyed her friend with such precision stealth that the question that left her mouth would have shocked even the most prepared soldier.

"Have you called him?"

Subtlety had never been a Cristina Yang personality trait. She asked the hard questions expecting immediate answers. Embarrassment, pain were concepts utterly foreign to her. It was part of what made her such an excellent surgeon.

Meredith shot her a look, her piercing blue/green eyes highlighted by a golden tan. She bit her lip thoughtfully and tucked a strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear.

"No..." She answered sadly, taking a sip of coffee and fidgeting with her napkin so intently, it was as if she expected life's most difficult answers to appear.

"Mer..."

"I... left him Cris. He practically begged me to leave and I did." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Cristina just rolled her eyes and glared at Meredith. "Mer, if this has anything to do with Burke and and him leaving me."

"No, this absolutely has nothing to do with that." She said, careful to avert her eyes to avoid Cristina's face, which was dripping with skepticism.

Cristina eyed her friend suspiciously. After all this time they had been friends and colleagues she was amazed that she would even bother trying to lie to her. She had told her a thousand times, you can't fool another liar.

"Mer, you're lying. Whatever. I don't need to know what exactly went down between you two but you need to fix this pronto."

Meredith was stunned. "Why? You have despised everything McDreamy since the day Addison showed up. Why is this so important now?"

Cristina shoved her chair backwards and crossed her arms. "I am going back to work. Tomorrow."

Meredith facial expression changed quickly from one of frustration to one of concern.

She was hardly surprised though. Cristina lived and breathed life as a surgeon and Meredith was amazed they had been able to stay away for as long as they have. No, Cristina going back to work was not what concerned her. It was her refusal to talk about Preston Burke that had her concerned.

"We still have a few days left...and… are you sure you're even ready?"

"Mer, I am more then ready. I need to cut people open or I am afraid I will have to be committed."

"Maybe we should talk first...you know...about the Burke thing.."

"Absolutely not Mer. It's over and done and you have Derek problems to deal with right now."

Meredith knew not to push her. Cristina wasn't known to voluntarily pour her heart out, or wallow in her own self pity. However, if this became to much for her to bear, Cristina knew she could always turn to Meredith. And Meredith had hoped this time was no different.

Her thoughts drifted back to Seattle and returning home to Derek. "I don't think I am ready to go back yet." She honestly didn't believe she would ever be ready. The pain of facing Derek, was just too much for her to deal with right now.

Reading her like a book, Cristina stated the obvious "Call him. Ask him to come out here for a few days. I am sure it will be time well spent."

Meredith looked at Cristina with hard eyes, absolutely paralyzed at what she had just suggested.

It was unthinkable. She had left. Without so much as a word to Derek, she had left. She had no reason to believe he was even still speaking to her.

"You'll never know unless you call him." Cristina stated, once again reading her thoughts. With that she tossed her napkin on her plate and abruptly left the table.

As Meredith watched her friend walk away, she attempted to process what she had just said.

He had asked her for a commitment to him. It wasn't as deep as marriage or even living together, he had simply asked her to be there in the relationship with him, to allow him to love her unconditionally. Unable to do that, she ran. She ran because she was Meredith Grey and she was afraid of being loved, afraid of loving someone else. No she couldn't call him, he was better off without her and deserved someone who could actually be the love of his life.

Her heart however, spoke a different tune, as it sat deep inside of her, slowly breaking. Only her heart knew how deeply she loved Derek Shepherd and how the agony of not being with him, continued to shatter her into a thousand pieces.

"You're the love of my life, Meredith." His final words to her echoed through her head.

She remembered how his eyes, his voice, were so full of intense love for her. As she stood there in the eye of his gaze, her heart began to race. The fierce pounding in her chest was so violent, she thought she would simply collapse from the pressure.

Remembering those last moments with him forced tears to her eyes. Struggling for air, she grabbed her tote and practically sprinted out of the cafe.

Cristina,watching her the entire time from the shadows, rolled her eyes angrily. She dug her cell phone out and punched in the digits to Seattle Grace Hospital.

And Derek Shepherd had been blown away by the phone call.

"She needs to see you, Derek. Only she is being to stupid to admit it right now." She told him, almost regretfully. She hated Derek Shepherd with all her being, but if he was the path to her friend's happiness, she wouldn't stand in the way. Going a step further to help bring them together was something she never wanted to admit and she swore him to secrecy even before she had mentioned Meredith's name.

Derek was suspicious. "Why are you telling me this, Cristina? After everything. Addison. You were the most unforgiving person."

There was a long silence from the other end and for a moment Derek thought she had hung up.

"Do this Derek, or you'll lose her forever. I will email you the hotel and island information." And with that the phone suddenly went dead.

After the conversation he sat and struggled with his decision for hours.

The last time he saw Meredith had been incredibly painful. He had declared his love, his lifetime commitment to her. He hadn't asked her for the same in return, he simply needed to know that she still loved him. And while he had more then expected her to shut down, he was surprised that she had left all together.

When she left without telling him, he thought he had gotten his answer. Meredith no longer loved him and wasn't interested in a future together.

Slowly, over the weeks that she had been gone, the anguish of their breakup had begun to tear him down, and at times he felt like he was unable to breath. The gaping pressure in his heart, virtually sucking the life out of him.

Derek ran his hands through his dark mess of curls atop his head and over his gritty stubble and sighed heavily.

Meredith.

She had become this huge part of his life in such a short period of time. Yet the obstacles they continually faced were enough to fill a lifetime. He couldn't deny though, that for the most part, they themselves created the obstacles.

He hadn't meant to hurt her. When he went back to Addison, he thought he was doing the right thing, the honorable thing. He long ago realized that it was absolutely the most cowardly thing he could have done.

He had left the woman he truly loved, to live a lie with his estranged wife. In the end he only hurt both women. He never gave his marriage to Addison a real chance. His thoughts, day and night, consumed by fantasies of Meredith.

Eventually, after a passionate night with Meredith, he divorced Addison. Meredith, broken with wounds that would forever need healing, reluctantly took him back.

Life for them however, was never the same.

Meredith has spent their time apart building walls around herself that would take a lifetime to break down. Their connection on a physical level was passionate, filled with fire and desperate need. As he thought back to their time together, he realized that had been the only way she had accepted him. She had allowed him back into her bed, but not back into her heart.

And now for the rest of his life, when an opportunity arose to be a part of Meredith Grey's life, even briefly, he was helpless to reject it.

As he sat looking out the window of the airplane, at the passing clouds, he wondered if maybe this time he should have made more of an effort to fight the pull of Meredith Grey.

I've outlined the story direction and it will be a total of 10 chapters. It'll be a fun, angsty, saga that may or may not have a happy ending. ;) - S.