A Damaged Perfection

Note-This is about Cooper and Maxie, with some Georgie and Logan as supporting characters.

Though I don't like what Maxie and Logan have done to Cooper, it is a big part of this story as far as leading to these events. But the couple that has the love story is 3M. This is inspired by something I read in a spoiler.

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Duh.

Chapter One

October 2007

Maxie Jones stomped down on the gas pedal and peeled out of the parking lot of Samantha McCall's apartment building. She couldn't talk to her friend right now. She couldn't even think straight. Her world was caving in. She felt totally on her own...for who could she turn to, really?

Cooper was the one that she needed to talk to. The only one that could calm her down now. But turning to him wasn't an option anymore.

(Call you up in the middle of the night.
Like a firefly without a light.

You were there like a slow torch burning,
Was a key that could use a little turning.)(Soul Asylum)

This was just the thing not to talk to Sam about. For it wasn't fair to bring up her fears and doubts about being a mother to a woman who craved a baby of her own to cradle in her arms.

Going to her sister about this wasn't a much better option. Georgie would listen to Maxie but she would then purse her lips and ask "How did you let his happen? How could you?"

That would be tame compared to Mac's response, though. He would look at her different once he knew the whole story. It might be the last heartbreak he could take where she was concerned. He didn't even know her and Cooper broke up. Maxie wasn't up to disappointing him again.

(So tired that I couldn't eat or sleep.
So many secrets I couldn't keep.

Promise myself I wouldn't breathe.
One more promise I couldn't keep.)

She knew she could tell Logan. He would scowl and shake his head, roll his eyes and ask "What are you pulling?" before he really looked at her and saw the truth. Then he would probably freak and ask a million questions. He would be as frantic as she was and not ease even one of her fears. He would totally get why she was scared and sneer something like "Well, you should be!"

(It seems no one can help me now.
I'm in too deep. There's no way out.

This time I really have lead myself astray

The car flew down the street, as a light rain started to pelt the windshield. She blew through a yellow light that was just about to be red. Her mind wasn't on the road, it was imagining Cooper's face if she was to tell him. "I'm knocked up."

Would he dare ask "Is it mine?"

She didn't know what she would say if he did. For her, sometimes the lie worked better than the truth. Especially if the end justified the means or if she was pissed off. Then the lie was her very first choice. What would hurt him more- the lie or the truth? What would make him love her again, make him protect her, make him take her back? If she could figure out which one would do it, Maxie would say that in a minute.

Maybe she didn't deserve to ever get him back. She didn't care if that was true. She wanted him back. But only if he would look at her with love again, like she was the one woman that understood him, like she was worth risking his heart over. Because she was.

Yes, she had cheated on him.

She knew why she did it. Logan knew why. Sam guessed right away. But they were all the types that pushed hard against the world. None of them believed that you could simply relax and trust in love. No, they fought, and clawed, and sometimes ruined everything they were trying to hold onto. Maxie had done that with her relationship with Cooper. She tested him, doing the worst thing she could imagine, to see if he might be the one man to love her anyway, to stay when he should walk away. But he hadn't.

She didn't blame him, not in the least. It was what she expected...but it was also the last thing she wanted.

The speedometer climbed. She didn't know where she was going. She just wanted to escape. There was no way she could be someone's mother. Maxie was not fit, that is what she believed. Maybe if Cooper was around to help...but he was gone from her life. He was done with her. And even a baby might not bring him back, especially if he suspected the child wasn't his. Would her word be good enough to convince him it was? She seriously doubted it. Who would believe a liar like her?

She had never felt more alone in her life. She needed Cooper. This baby needed Cooper. And, as selfish as Maxie was at times, she would never think of denying her baby the best father she could give this child.

The only problem was Cooper didn't want anything to do with her. Still she longed for him anyway, for his strong hands to pull her closer and whisper "Baby, it will be okay. I'm right here...forever."

(Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile.

How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded.)

Maxie slammed her hand against the steering wheel, spitting out a string of cuss words. "I really did it this time. Screwed everything up." Speaking to the baby inside of her, she said "I'm sorry, little one. Your mama can't seem to do much right."

She noticed the next stoplight was changing to red and slammed down on her brakes. The tires squealed on the wet pavement and then the car was sliding into the intersection, nearly colliding with another vehicle. Maxie jerked the wheel and went flying into a utility pole.

God, no! went though her mind. My baby!

She was flung sideways. Her head slammed into the driver's side window. The car crumpled in around her.

Oh, Cooper, what have I done? was the last thought in her mind before she lost consciousness.

(Runaway train never going back.
Wrong way on a one way track.

Seems like I should be getting somewhere.
Somehow I'm neither here nor there.

Runaway train never going back.
Runaway train is tearing up the track.
Runaway train burning in my veins.

Runaway but it all seems the same.
Runaway, runaway)