Rating: Hard M
Pairing: Lily/James
Genre: Smut – you have been warned!
Summary: Dating James Potter had never been an easy feat, but neither had hating him been either; she was dating the great sod, for Merlin's left toe's sake! When James and Lily experience some relationship issues, James decides that he doesn't want to rely on those brainless teen magazines any more, and takes things into his own hands. [Rated for smut and some language
Length: One-Shot
To Love Banausically
For Milly
Because she's just awesome like that.
Dating James Potter had never been an easy feat, but neither had hating him been either – that failed, look where it got her now? She was dating the great sod, for Merlin's left toe's sake! On the other hand, liking James Potter had never been one of her strong points. He was arrogant, cocky and cruel to Slytherins… usually on her 'honour' or whatever he deemed similar. She didn't bother to keep up with it really, it would only give her a headache, after all. That boy had no logic in his tiny, little mind anyway. Cute, but tiny. Oh-so tiny.
Lily sat down on edge of ledge of the Astronomy tower, dangling her legs in the air. They'd only been an 'official' couple for six months, and she'd tolerated him for only two months more than that, and here he was, already driving her barmy! Oh he'd been more than gentle – he never pushed her, always courteous and chivalrous, always worried he'd hurt her; the perfect boyfriend… and that was cute for awhile… until it got old, then went past that into plain old boring. And if she thought dating James Potter would be something, boring was not that. It was meant to be exciting, adventurous, out there, not something safe enough to do in front of her grandmother.
She sighed and brushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes, staring out into the blackness of the night, already wondering if she should go back inside to sleep. A cold breeze hit her and she shivered, very aware that her flannel nightgown was the only thing she was wearing. Suddenly, a warm cloak found its way around her shoulders, and she cried out, flailing her limbs and nearly fell off the tower in the process. A pair of strong arms encircled her waist; the only thing that kept her from falling off into the abyss and to a gruesome death below, yet she still struggled, trying to get away from whatever had her in its grasp.
"Merlin, Lily, stop, it's me!" A male voice murmured against her ear, and she ceased struggling.
"James." She breathed, "You scared me!"
She knew he was rolling his eyes even before she heard the sarcasm in his voice, "You don't say? What are you doing up here so late, you could catch a cold!"
For a moment, one fleeting moment, she'd forgotten that her relationship had gotten old and had gotten lost in the adrenalin of what had just happened. Then the reality had set in, and she grudgingly pulled his cloak tighter around her body as another breeze hit her. "A cold? Oh, right."
He must have heard, or at least sensed, that she wasn't in a good mood because he tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her so close to him that she could feel his pulse through the fabric of his t-shirt. "What's wrong, Lily?"
"Nothing," She murmured, a little sulkily, "Everything's fine. Perfect, in fact."
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked, his voice still a whisper against her ear.
Lily took a deep breath and closed her eyes, she really could tell him anything. That was the irony of it all – he really was the perfect boyfriend. So why wasn't she happy? Or maybe she was, but just couldn't see it yet? "I know," She said, a little louder than she had meant to.
He nodded against her back, placing his chin on top of her head, and the pair fell into a silence. And for awhile, Lily forgot that she was Lily Evans and that he was James Potter. She forgot all those years she'd denied him a date, and that she was really meant to hate him still. She forgot the predicament she found herself in, and why she'd even come up to the Astronomy tower at one in the morning anyway – to think, she just… blanked out. But like all good things, reality came crashing down on her once more, and her bitter feelings swirled around inside her.
The question came out, unintended, before she could stop it. "James, what are we?"
She felt him tense underneath her, and held her tighter still, if that were possible. "What do you mean, Lily?" He sounded nervous, scared, almost, "I'm your boyfriend, and you're my girlfriend. What do you mean?"
Lily sighed, "I know that, James. But what are we? Because I don't know!" She shook her head, "I really don't know!"
James pulled her off the ledge, and turned her over, so that she was standing with her back against it. "I know that I love you. I know that I always have." He sounded desperate, as though begging for her to understand, understand that his love could cure all, "Is that what you wanted to know?"
She shook her head and rested her forehead against his muscular chest. "No, it's not." Even to her ears her voice sounded feeble, like she was just tired of it all. He hugged her close again, afraid that if he let go, he'd lose her forever, because the way things were headed now, it felt like he just might. She breathed him in again, and he smelled had a musky scent, mixed in with broom polish. He smelled of what he used to be, before she dated him, of what he could have been. "How did we get like this?" She whispered, another question that she hadn't intended to ask that just popped out.
James didn't answer her for the longest time, but merely held her. "Lily, I don't understand what you're talking about. How did we get like what?"
She closed her eyes and pushed away from him, the ledge pressing into her lower back. "You don't even know, do you?" Lily didn't give him enough time to reply, but opened her eyes, trying to blink back the tears. "Boring, James!" She cried, looking everywhere but him, "How did we get so boring?!"
"I don't think we're boring." He said, his voice sounding so desolate, as though every word she'd said had cut him physically. "Lily, please…" James gave a sort of strangled sob and pulled her back against him, "Lily, I've only just gotten you… I don't want to lose you. Please, I'm begging you, don't do this. Don't question it."
Lily closed her eyes, pressing against him softly, but did not put her arms around him. "It's true, James, it's true." She said, not wanting to hurt him, but having to get this out. "We're so… typical. We don't fight, we don't clash, hell, we don't even snog!" She sobbed, putting her hands on his chest and pushing so that they were slightly apart. "It's not me, James, it's not even you! What happened to you? Merlin, what happened to me?"
"I thought this was what you wanted." He murmured against her hair, his voice sounding as though he were on the edge of breaking down.
"How could this be what I wanted? We aren't anything! We completely lack foundation!" She cried, and moved to look into his eyes. His stare beneath those glasses was intense, and she shivered under the sharp gaze of his hazel eyes. "We're boring." She murmured pathetically, hoping it weren't true, but finding it difficult to believe otherwise.
James stared at her, not knowing what to do. He'd taken things slow for her, believing that was what she'd wanted. He'd done everything those brainless teen magazines had told him to do… and now it felt like she was leaving him. Forget the critics and what the 'professionals' told him to do, James Potter was finally taking things into his own hands. Carefully, slowly, he cupped her cheeks with both hands and pressed his lips to hers, putting all his love, his passion, for her into that simple gesture. He lightly ran his tongue over her lips and she instinctively opened for him.
He deepened the kiss, placing a hand at the back of her neck to steady her, and she carefully tilted her head to give him better access. Grinning, he took full advantage of that and kissed her passionately, only coming up for air when they absolutely needed it, and no less. Pulling away, he murmured softly against her lips, "Still think we're boring?"
Grinning slyly, Lily bit her lip, "I think I might just need a tad more convincing, Mr. Potter."
James chuckled, his chest vibrating soundly, and she couldn't help but laugh along with him. "I think I can do that." He murmured huskily, his voice sounding almost feral. Slowly, with infinite gentleness, he pressed his lips to hers and pushed her farther against the ledge so that her bum was resting against it. They deepened the kiss together, and Lily reveled in the taste of him, of knowing that they'd never gotten this far before.
She spread her legs to bring him closer to her, and wrapped them around his waist tightly. Lily shivered slightly as she felt his hands glide across her stomach through the thin fabric of her nightgown, stopping at the undersides of her breasts. Grinning against his lips, she kissed him harder, biting on his lower lip; all those rumours going around Hogwarts all these years had been true; James Potter was indeed an excellent snogger. She moaned softly as she felt his thumbs softly rub the underside of her breasts, occasionally having the pads brush up against her nipple, which she wasn't entirely sure was 'accidental'.
Breaking off the kiss, Lily took his right hand and kissed the palm before returning her lips to his and placing his hand on her breast, where it began to massage gently. The next time they had to come up for air, James chose to kiss her lightly on her jawbone, tracing his way down to her collarbone, blazing a trail of firey kisses. She gasped for air, raking her fingernails against his shoulder as she arched against him. Moaning gently under his ministrations, Lily snaked her hands up under his shirt and began to trace his hard muscles with her fingers, letting them rake along the very prominent lines of his abs, and finally reaching up and pulling it off completely, forcing him to stop kissing her.
He shivered as the night air hit his body, but made no move to stop her nor to take their rendezvous inside. Lily grinned up at him as she kissed her way from his collarbone down to his bellybutton, tracing his muscles now with her tongue, earning an illicit gasp from him. As she reached his belt and began to undo the clasp, James reached down and took her hand in his.
"Lily, don't." He whispered, his voice barely audible.
"And why not?" Smirking up at him slyly, Lily stood up to her fullest height and put her face within mere breaths of his, their lips barely touching, "Something you don't me to see?"
James groaned and kissed her softly, "You know very well I want you to see it." He reached down and took her hand, placing it on his arousal; proof of what he said was indeed true. He kissed her again, this time fiercer. "But I don't think you're ready. You said it yourself, we don't even snog… this is way past snogging."
Rolling her eyes at him, she folded her arms across her chest, "I also said we were boring, care to follow that through, too?" She cut him off before he could answer her, "Look James, I'm a big girl – I know what I want, and right now, I want you." Lily murmured the last three words against his lips, pausing between each word to kiss him gently. "If I wasn't ready for it, you think I'd let it get this far?"
James said nothing but continued to breathe heavily, his eyes closed. "I don't want to do something you aren't completely sure of. I don't want you to regret anything. It should be special."
Lily watched him, her heart melting as she watched him stop himself from going too far, making sure it was what she wanted even when it was obviously something he wanted so badly. Maybe they weren't so boring after all, she smirked inwardly; maybe she just hadn't seen it. Instead of answering him verbally, Lily wiggled her hand of out his grasp and continued to undo the clasp, unlooping the belt and shucking it, he stepped out of his trousers as they fell to the floor.
She snickered at his Quidditch-decorated boxers, but he did not act in the slightest embarrassed about them, instead choosing to crook his finger under her chin and tilted her head so that she was forced to stare into his eyes. Her breath hitched; James Potter had never stared at her this… lustfully before, never this intense, never this passionate. "Are you sure?" He croaked, and she knew it was taking all his self discipline to ask her this one last time. Nodding, Lily slipped off her nightgown, standing before him now in nothing but her knickers, she pulled him into a searing kiss.
"I'm sure James."
Those were the only words he needed and, taking them as permission, he quickly had her out of her panties and standing completely starkers in front of him. "You're beautiful." He said simply, making her blush fiercely, and he raised an eyebrow at her rosy cheeks. James cupped her cheek with his large palm, and turned her to face him. "Well, you are… and I-I love you." He'd said it before, but this time it had more meaning. Whether it be the fact that they'd never been this close before, or the fact that they'd never been this naked before, she didn't know, but she loved it. And James didn't stop there, "I love everything about you." He murmured, and placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead, "I love your brains." He kissed her nose, "Your compassion," he placed another kiss on her cheek, "your kindness," and another on her lips, "and your wit and humour." He ended, "I love all of you, Lily Evans."
Grinning, Lily asked, "Are you sure you don't only love me because I'm standing here starkers?" she teased, placing a hand on his hair, originally intending to tug on a strand, but somehow managed to run her fingers through it.
"It might have something to do with it," James teased back, trying to ignore the chills he got at what Lily's tender hands were doing. "I mean it, Lil," He said, this time more serious, "I do love you. I always have."
Looking up at him with her emerald eyes, she moved her hand out of his hair and began to stroke his lower lip, "I know." She said simply, "And… I love you too, James. It took me just a little longer to see it." This had been the first time that she'd responded to his declaration of love, and it made James' stomach flip-flop.
He pulled her into another searing kiss, and somehow – neither were entirely sure of the means – he managed to get rid of his boxers. A question popped into his mind as they slowly sank to the ground (he wandlessly managed to cast a heating charm and a cushioning charm on the ground, as well as laid out his cloak for them to lay on – he had ordered an extra-large, and he was quite thankful for it now) and he broke off the kiss, albeit reluctantly. "Is this your first time?"
James wasn't sure what he wanted the answer to be. If she said 'no', this night wouldn't be as special for her (he'd always dreamt of being her first, though she was by no means his), but on the other hand, she'd be able to enjoy it much, much more and he'd be able to concentrate on different ways of pleasing her rather than inflicting the least amount of pain. But if she said, 'yes' then he'd be her first and this night would be all the more special for it.
So it was with a mingled sense of disappointment and joy that she said, "No, is it yours?" His heart sank for a moment, but he shook his head in the negative; it was not his first. For a moment he wondered, bitterly, what it would have been like had he been the one to break her virginity and pondered briefly on whether or not to ask who the lucky sod had been, but reflected that he did not want to know. This would still be a first for them; just not the first.
They sank to the ground fully, and Lily fell back, dragging James down on top of her. For awhile, neither of them said anything, both reveling in the contact of skin upon skin. Lily was, for the first time, completely aware of James as a man, and she as a woman and she shivered at the prospect of what was to come. James broke the silence by whispering, "Are you su-"
"Yes, James, I'm sure, now stop asking or you'll ruin the mood, you great lump." Lily rolled her eyes at him and began kissing his neck, making him moan softly. He burrowed his fingers into her hair, and with the other hand, began doing what Lily had done unto him earlier and traced his way down her stomach – though she did not have the muscle lines he did (thank Merlin for that, he thought). When he reached her hipbone he began to draw circles against the bone with his forefinger, and felt goose bumps break out along her arms. He grinned and let his hand wander lower, until it was in between her legs, at the V-juncture. Here James paused, he'd done this before, what was stopping him now?
Lily, who'd been kissing the skin behind his ear, felt his hesitancy and softly mumbled, "Do it." Taking that as the initiative, James untangled his other hand from her hair and put it to her cheek, forcing her to look into his eyes as he put one finger into her, then another. Letting out a low moan, Lily arched her back, grinding her hips into his hand.
"Look at me, Lils." He demanded, indicating her closed eyes, "I want you to look at me while I'm doing this." Obediently, Lily opened her eyes and he pulled his finger out of her, making her moan, before thrusting it back in. Swallowing hard, Lily bit her lip to stop her from moaning even louder as wave upon wave of pleasure hit her as James continued to slowly taunt her with his finger, eventually replacing it with two.
"James," She moaned, unable to take it any longer, "James, shag me." Smirking, James picked up the pace, but did not give into her request as she repeated it like a chant, "Shag me, James, please." Finally he inserted a third finger, thrusting it in harder than the others. She responded by grinding her hips against him harder, "Fuck, James, please." She begged, and he pulled his digits out of her, kissing her hard, biting her lower lip.
Looking into her eyes, he couldn't resist the temptation any longer and positioned himself above her. Lily was already panting hard, her breaths coming out in short gasps, and he slid into her with ease. "Merlin, Lily." He groaned, staring down into her lust-filled eyes as she moaned even harder, thrusting her hips up to meet his.
For the first few minutes, he just lay there, savouring the feel of being inside Lily, savouring the smell of her, and the sounds she made. "James," She moaned, and he suddenly lost all his desire to simply savour her, but rather felt the need to take her, to mark her as his. He thrust his hips, pounding into her, and they soon created a rhythm all their own. To stifle the sounds of her moans that had begun to increase in volume, Lily had taken to kissing James as fiercely as she could, or nipping at his neck, burrowing her face into him as he pounded into her again and again.
He smirked as she burrowed her face into his neck, using him to stifle her moan. The smirk quickly turned into a look of lust as she began suckling and nipping, placing light kissing on random areas of his skin. James' breathing quickened and he moaned her name over and over again, and their pace quickened as each began to reach their climax. Lily came first; her nails raking along James' back, leaving red trails along his pale skin, the contact making him come too. He quickly slid out of her, the movement causing after-shocks to ripple through her from their orgasm.
James spooned her, pressing her back against his chest and hugging her tight. He kissed the back of her neck, and she hummed contentedly and stared up at the stars. "Still think we're boring?" He murmured, his voice low and sultry, as though he could repeat their experience thrice over.
Lily giggled and kissed the hand that gripped her elbow. "No James, I think we're quite fun now. Not banausic, but not so spontaneous. We're perfect." She closed her eyes and smiled, and James' stomach flip-flopped as he stared at her radiant face, a smile so perfect he'd never seen it before.
"Yea," He whispered, still staring at her, "Perfect."
Ok, I wasn't going to post this because I thought it'd be a tad too mature for the audience I usually have. Besides, this was my first lemon. Any concrit that you guys have, I'd love to hear. Also, this one-shot wasn't beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault and I'm sorry.
xox Caramel
Hope I didn't scare any of you off :)