This is for the August Twilight Challenge, choice #2. I liked the idea, and might expand on it if people want me to. Enjoy!
I ran downstairs, trying to find some way to salvage such a mind-rottingly boring day.
Rosalie was working on her car—I didn't think that there was anything she hadn't improved under that hood—so I decided that it was best to let her do that…for now.
Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were all out hunting. Alice was putting away the clothes she had bought that afternoon in Seattle with Bella, and Edward was with Bella at her house, doing what I could only imagine. They were supposed to be coming over soon.
I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Looking at the small screen, I felt nostalgic. Memories of the night when Edward had broken our other TV—our TV that had been shipped in from Korea and was now in pieces in the trash—were still fresh in my mind.
Edward was so temperamental.
I couldn't see why he was being so difficult about Bella's change, anyway. It was bound to happen sometime—why prolong the anticipation? I knew he thought we were soulless monsters, but still…I didn't know why he was so stubborn on the issue.
But the stress he seemed to be under didn't make me forgive him for ripping in two the wide-screen, plasma TV that I had loved so much. I was still as mad about that as the night he'd broken it. He must have forgotten already how heinous of a crime he had committed by now.
Well, well, well. I would just have to remind our little lover boy, wouldn't I?
I grinned as multiple possibilities raced through my mind. I tossed the remote on the couch as I went to Alice's room.
"Hey, Alice," I called through the door. She opened the door with a smile and I entered.
"So, planning on a little revenge, huh?" she asked. I shouldn't be surprised that Alice knew what I was already plotting.
"Well, I was wondering if you would like to help me. I'm sure that you have some original ideas."
She laughed. "Well, I have seen only a few possibilities, but so far, the best one looks like your first idea."
"Good. That was the one I was leaning towards anyway. Now," I smiled conspiratorially, "would you like to help me in acting out my brilliant scheme?"
Her grin grew wider. "Of course. You know, we haven't been able to pull anything on Edward for a long time. I hope we're not rusty," she joked.
"Oh, I don't think that will ever happen."
She finished hanging up her clothes. I don't know how she fit any more articles in her already stuffed closet, but soon she was finished. Then she turned to me.
"How much time do we have?" I asked.
"Not long—we need to get started right now."
"Would you like to distract our lovely couple while I complete the job?"
"My specialty," she mused. "I can see that this will be wonderful. Just wait until you see the look on his face."
"Good. Let's get going."
We raced downstairs.
The car door slammed, and soon Edward and Bella were walking through the front door. Edward carried in both hands bags full of clothes that Alice had undoubtedly bought. Alice's voice chimed, calling to Bella to come upstairs to her room, and I smiled when I heard Bella concede and Edward follow them.
This was all going perfectly, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
The hardest thing to get around was Edward, though. He and his stupid mind-reading powers got in the way every time I wanted to do something.
But that was just at first. Now I had developed ways to get around that.
Just before I went into the garage, I firmly placed in my head the most explicit picture of Rosalie I could imagine—one I knew would keep him out of my thoughts for the few minutes I needed to get this done.
I could almost picture him cringing at that thought, and smiled wider. Excellent.
I dashed to the garage, grabbing the can of paint and a few brushes. At the last second, I added a few paint rollers to the pile in my arms. The shiny silver Volvo was parked right next to the garage door, which just made my job that much simpler.
I could hear Alice chattering away with Bella about putting outfits together and trying to convince her to wear something she had bought that day. She was just too good at her part of this. That thought brought a chuckle out of me.
Setting down the supplies, I went straight to work. The lid popped easily off the can, and in no time I had dipped the brush in and spread it evenly over the entire driver's side door.
Without pause, I made my way down the rest of the car, quickly brushing on the vibrant paint.
I finished with the hood, and I had finished my task. I took a step back to admire my work.
Pink was so Edward's color.
After taking care to stow away the now empty paint can and still wet brushes, I casually strolled in through the front doors of our house.
Alice, upon hearing my entry, nonchalantly dismissed Edward and Bella from her room. They walked at a very slow, human pace to Edward's room on the third floor. Only when I heard the music emanating from behind the closed door did I run to Alice's room.
"Do you want to see it?" I asked. A devilish grin was displayed across her face.
"Of course. You better have done a good job," she chided. "I haven't gotten any visions, so he is still oblivious." I followed her as she darted downstairs and outside.
She froze in front of my masterpiece, and stood silently.
"Like it?" I asked.
Then she burst out laughing, doubling over and supporting herself on her knees. "You should have…seen…face…" Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she gripped her sides. She was unable to finish the sentence, but soon she stopped long enough to get one line out. "He's coming downstairs with Bella right now. I think he saw it through my mind…" Then the laughter picked up again, echoing faintly through the clearing.
Bella and Edward's footsteps grew louder as they descended the stairs. I looked toward the door hesitantly, wondering if I should start running right now, but then decided that was the coward's way out.
Besides, I just couldn't miss out on seeing his face when he saw my work of art. I suddenly wished I had a camera, but didn't think twice about it when I heard the latch on the doorknob click.
He was looking at Bella as they exited, but then she stopped short, eyes locked on the Volvo. Edward frowned, and followed her gaze.
Talk about a Kodak moment.
His jaw dropped, and his eyes widened at the sight of his prized car's new paint job. I smiled, and could hear Alice's broken giggles ring in the air.
Then Edward's breathing picked up double time before he yelled.
"EMMETT!!" He turned his furious glare my way. I raised my hands in the manner of a suspect showing that he was unarmed and asked innocently, "What?"
A snarl ripped from his chest, and he lunged at me. I raced back to the forest, flying as fast as my legs would take me, before returning to the clearing with Alice and Bella just as quickly. He had caught up with me at that point, but I retreated behind Bella.
"Now, now, Edward. We don't want to fight in front of these lovely young ladies, do we?" I smiled when his eyes seemed to flare up in rage. Still, he paused.
"There, now. Good boy." I stepped up beside Bella and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know you think it looks good, don't you Bella?"
Her breathing was irregular, but then she burst out in a fit of hysteria. Alice soon joined her, and I couldn't help but laugh myself. Edward just stood there—and if looks could kill I would be in the seventh ring of hell right then and there.
Bella tried to regain control of herself. "I'm...sorry, Edward, but your…face…" She gasped for breath, and drew in a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry." I could tell that—for some strange reason—she really was sorry, even though the smile was still securely plastered on her face.
Edward came over and pulled her away from me. "Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's him," he said, jerking his head at me, "who is going to pay." He threw another fiery glare at me. Suddenly, though, his expression turned thoughtful.
"Nice," came Alice's voice from behind Bella.
Both she and Edward wore impish grins. Bella's brow furrowed, and she voiced my thoughts. "Okay, please stop having those conversations. It's annoying." I folded my arms across my chest and nodded.
"Hey lover boy, you might want to get that car to a body shop before school tomorrow. That is, unless you want to look gay."
He caught me by surprise by chuckling. "I think that you are the one who will need to worry about looking foolish." What was he talking about? Was he already planning his revenge?
"Yes, I am." I huffed, frustrated once again with Edward's "gift". It didn't bother me most of the time, but his answering of my question like that sure could get on my nerves.
Then Rosalie walked out of the garage, an image of perfection in her form-fitting jeans and shirt. A thousand images fit only for me passed through my mind, and I laughed when Edward's face grimaced.
"Emmet, please!" Yeah, I would be sure to make him think his gift was so much of a gift anymore.
"What's going on?" Rosalie's angelic voice was filled with curiosity. "Why is Edward's car pink?"
"I decided that I would do Edward a favor in return for him breaking our TV just a couple weeks ago. I don't think he appreciated my efforts." I faked disappointment, and she laughed.
"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower." She placed a quick kiss on my lips, and I smiled as I watched her retreating figure.
The party further reduced in number when Edward pulled Bella into the garage, leaving with only a "We're going out", and then drove away in the Aston Martin. I shook my head.
"So…" Alice prompted me. "It worked out great, didn't it?"
I peered at her out of the corner of my eye. "Yeah. It did."
"Well, aren't you going to ask me what I saw?"
I shrugged. "I guess so. What is he planning?"
She laughed. "He is going to have some fun with you tomorrow. But I have also had a vision of one of your own plots. Want to know what it is?" I nodded. "It's actually quite brilliant. I wish I had thought of it. Well, I guess I actually did…" she mused to herself.
"Alice, just tell me!" I urged.
"I'll tell you inside. I want to look through the clothes I bought for Bella." Her lips grew into a smile, and she laughed. "You know, it will be quite easy to put into action, too."
"Oh, Alice. You know how I love a challenge. I don't want to do anything that takes no effort."
"You can work on a harder project later. This one will get an even better reaction out of him than that one did, though" She jerked her thumb behind her at the pink Volvo.
"Fine. But we're going to make the one after that harder. Simplicity takes all the fun out of it—well, almost all the fun. I guess as long as it gets a good reaction, it is worth the time."
"Oh, this might be the best idea we've ever had. You'll love it, I already know." Of course she did.
"Well, let's get inside so I can hear what my plan is."
"All right," she sighed, turning one last time to Edward's pink car, hands on her hips.
"It really did turn out beautifully, didn't it?" I asked.
"Yes, it did. You did fabulous work." She looked at it for another fraction of a second, and then started inside. "But let's get going. I don't want to waste any time."
"All right. You know, I think I forgot how nice it was to have a partner in crime. Feels good for things to be back to normal again."
"Tell me about it."
When we returned to her room, and I sat down on the floor by her closet. "Now, please tell me what's going on. I'm dying to know."
I was hooked by the first word out of her mouth.
"Condoms."
Like it? I hope so! Please review and let me know how it was!