I fixed up the story. The two first chapters are now one. This story takes place two years after the Nightmare Before Christmas
Meet The Family
Chapter 1
Sally was getting ready for her date with Jack. Sally was a beautiful Rag doll. In Halloween Land she isn't know as attractive but she was the Pumpkin Kings girlfriend and that made her notice. She had made a special dress for the date. It was orange a black version of her normal dress. Jack was going to tell her something; she was hoping it was to marry him. She was waiting for him at spiral hill. Then she heard a bark.
'Zero!' Sally thought. Zero was Jack's cute ghost dog with a Jack-O'-lantern nose. Then a very tall skeleton came, it was Jack Skellington. The Pumpkin king had on his normal suit with bat bowtie.
"Hello Sal," he said. Then kissed her. Sal was a nickname the Jack gave to her a month after they stated dating.
"Jack," she blushed.
"Well I did just come here to kiss, but I need to ask you something," he said.
"Yes Jack, yes I will," Sally said happily.
"So you'll meet my family." Sally was crushed she didn't even know that Jack had a family. Now he tells her.
"Oh yeah of course," she said sadly.
"Great, I thought that I've met your creator, you should meet my family."
"Yeah when do we go?" Sally lamented but Jack didn't notice she was in sorrow.
"In two days, you should be ready by then?" Jack asked.
"Yes, bye," Sally lamented.
"Bye?" Jack was confused.
"I need to pack," she lied. She just didn't to do anything.
"But we only kissed once?" Jack lamented.
"Bye Jack." She kissed him one more time.
Two day has pass. Sally ready for her little trip with Jack. She was still disappointed but she loved him more than anything. She was waiting for him at Doc. Finklestein's place.
Jack was getting ready. He's mother, Lucy Skellington, lived in Pumpkin Ville. He was nervous he had never brought home a girlfriend but only one. That relationship ended in disaster. Jack gave it a chance he loved Sally and they have been dating for two years now. He went in the mayor's car and left.
'I should really get myself a car' Jack thought. He drove at the gates of Doc. Finklestein. Sally came running down.
'Oh great, that Mayor is coming with us. He can't leave Jack alone,' thought Sally. Then she saw the mayor wasn't coming. Sally hated the mayor, he was always taking Jack away form her. She kissed Jack and off they went.
"Jack who is in you're family?" Sally asked.
"The first person you'll meet is my mother Lucy and my sisters are coming tomorrow," Jack said.
"What about your father?"
"He died long ago. Him and his bother were in an accent with Oogie. But look at the bright side I became Pumpkin King."
"Umm… many sisters do you have?" Sally said.
"Two, the eldest Jessica and my twin Jackie."
"Wow, you're a twin! Why I'm I finding this out just now!" Sally yelled.
"Well I never tell my girlfriends about my family. But you'll special," Jack gazing into her eye and looking at the road. Terrible Trio was walking.
"Jack look out!" Sally yelled. Jack just missed them.
"Hey watch Moron You could have killed us!!!!" Shock yelled.
"Yeah you almost killed us!!!!" yelled Lock. Then Barrel throws an egg to the car.
"I hate them," Jack said to Sally. That was the last thing they said to each other. It wasn't a long drive. They stopped at an old house. It looked like Jack's house but with an extra small tower on the side.
"That was my old tower, I got my house built to look like this house," Jack said dreamily. "Come on Sal come meet my Mom."
"Fine," Sally said nervously.
"It will be fine, she'll love you." Jack knocked on the door. A very tall, old, pearl white, female skeleton answered. She was warring a long black dress, with a bat in her long salt and pepper hair.
"Jack is that you? I haven't seen you for years. How are you? Are you eating right?" Jack mother almost cried out her words, than hugged her baby boy. Then she saw whom he brought home with him. "And who are you?" she asked Sally in disgusted.
"Mom, this Sally, Sally this is my mom Lucy Skellington," Jack introduced them.
"Hello Madame Skellington," Sally said.
"Hello Sally, any friend of my son is welcome here," she said nicely. They went to the parlor. The was not much it had a couple of pictures hug up on the walls of her children, two orange chairs, a black sofa. The walls were orange and black. Lucy sat on one of the chairs and Jack and Sally on the sofa.
"Jack how have you been, the last time I saw you was 19 years ago," Lucy said.
"I know it's been so long," he told her.
"All these year I heard rumors of you, are there truth?" asked Lucy.
"Yes mother. Mom Sally and me want to stay here for a couple of days," he told her.
"Very well, Jack you can sleep in your old bedroom and Sally you the guest bedroom."
They got settled in, it took a couple of minutes. Sally went to her room but Jack stayed with his mother.
Well Review the improved story.