POC2: I've seen so many "Who Is Slade?" fics out there that I just had to write this when the idea popped into my head. This is the comic-canon answer to the age old question, and it's meant to be just a bit silly.

The beginning is over written on purpose; that's not what my stories usually look like.

I sincerely hope you have as much fun reading this as I did making up ridiculous theories and seeing how many different ways I could describe the different characters without using their names.

So who is Slade? Read on…

It was a perfectly normal day in Jump City.

Or at least, it HAD been until Slade decided to attack.

Now, four of the Titans were locked in combat with an army of Slade-bots while their leader faced off against the villain himself.

At first it seemed like any other battle between the five teen heroes and the criminal mastermind who was obsessed with young acrobats capable of using physics-defying martial arts moves, but there was one crucial difference.

The villain with a creepy fixation on teenagers had neglected to tire the Titans out with the various minor villains currently incarcerated in Jump City Prison, so they were all at full strength.

This, coupled with the fact that Robin had only recently returned from a visit to Chu-hui's mountain home during which he honed his skills training with the True Master, meant that the younger fighter finally had the upper hand, and it was beginning to show.

Finally, with a flying sidekick that completely spit in the face of Sir Isaac Newton and his Law of Gravity, Batman's former sidekick drove the masked menace to the ground and landed on top of him, effectively pinning him down.

With a low growl, the Boy Wonder reached down and grasped the mask that had haunted him for so long with both hands.

"Okay, who are you?" And with that he pulled off the two-colored cloth to reveal…

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"Wait, who are you?" Looking back at Robin was an older man wearing a patch over one eye. His good eye was a deep blue, and his hair was totally white, giving the impression that he was way too old to fight as well as he did.

Robin had never seen him before in his life.

"I'm Slade."

"Dude, that's it?" The other Titans were now standing nearby, as the robots had collapsed when their master was defeated.

"That's it." Slade seemed oddly amused, given that he was pinned beneath a boy whose life he had made hell for so long. "My name is Slade Wilson, and I was a soldier in the US army during the Korean War. I underwent a treatment designed to create the perfect soldier which made me stronger, faster, and smarter, as well as giving me a much longer lifespan. I later became an assassin know as Deathstroke. I had two sons and a daughter, but one's dead, one wants nothing to do with me, and one doesn't know I exist, so I'm looking for a new heir."

"So you're just a random villain looking for a new sidekick?"

"Did I ever pretend to be anything else?"

"You're not someone from my distant past who's hated me since the day I was born?"

"Nope."

"You're not Batman's evil twin who wants to make Robin his student so that your brother would be killed by the boy that he raised and trained?"

"I should hope not."

"You're not Robin's long-lost biological father who became a villain because someone would have murdered you otherwise and was embarrassed to reveal yourself until you had proved that anyone could become a villain with the right motivation at which point you would tell everyone who you really were and then explode in a brilliant burst of fireworks?"

Everyone stared at Beast Boy.

"It could happen," he insisted.

There was a long silence, then: "I'm a villain because I LIKE it."

Beast Boy was still fairly stunned. "You're really just Slade?"

"I'm just Slade."

"…Kind of a let down, isn't it."

POC2: Slade's history isn't exact, so I apologize if I offended any comic-nuts out there. I hope you like it; it went from conception to completion in under an hour.

This is a one shot, so don't hold your breaths for more.