She had transcended past anger, she allowed herself to acknowledge. She was scared.

Had she ever been this scared before? She couldn't remember but she was sure if she did remembered any situations that equaled this one it wouldn't help her this particular moment. Or her nerves.

Was this really it? Was she prepared to let go of her life if she ended up dying here? She was young but her years being a seer of death showed it didn't discriminate when it came to age.

No. She would not allow herself to think about that. She couldn't die here. Surely God couldn't...wouldn't be that cruel. She was finally at a place in her life where she was truly happy.

Happiness. It was so fleeting in a person's life. You get used to the feeling then it disappears and you wonder if you will ever feel the emotion again. She had such a difficult time growing up in her home. There were times when she doubted in her ability to find happiness or a normal life but most of all she doubted in herself. It wasn't until she was able to escape her home and attend college that she found her identity and began to believe in herself again.

Then one seminar changed her perceptions. She elected to go on a whim and was blown away by the subject material and by the instructor himself.

She smiled a little at that thought. She had made her way to the front as he packed up his notes and prayed she didn't make a damn fool of herself. She introduced herself and asked him to grab a cup of coffee with her to discuss some points of his discussion.

Much to her surprise he agreed and they talked for so long the cafИ had to kick them out. She walked away from that lecture and the subsequent talk with a strong belief in what her career choice would be and who her mentor was.

She had been a CSI in Cali for several years before it seemed to pay off. She and Grissom had communicated with one another periodically but it still come as a shock to learn she was his pick to analyze the murder of a CSI that happened on Grissom's watch. She knew going into that job she would be stepping on people's toes but an objective eye was needed and she knew even if Grissom endorsed her, she would be the odd man out.

During the investigation she acted as if it rolled right off her. She understood that she was on the outside looking in. She understood their hostility- especially the one she was investigating, Warwick Brown. She wasn't as willing to outlook the plain cattiness of Catherine Willow but she decided since it was only a little while she would let Cath stay unchallenged as Alpha. She was only going to be there for a few weeks.

Grissom was supportive and at the end of her tenure in Las Vegas he offered her the chance of a life time- working for his team in Vegas. She was thrilled. She was enamored with her mentor and relished the chance to pick his brain. What she soon discovered was that although Warwick received a slight slap of the wrist, she was not greeted with open arms. More like closed fists and snarky words from tight-lipped mouths. Only Grissom was friendly but his idea of friendly consisted of mutual 'geek' talk and showing off his bug collection.

She shifted a little, trying to ease the stabbing radiculopathy of her legs. She didn't know how bad she was injury-wise but she could tell it wasn't good, judging by the shallowness of her breath and the black stars that were getting used to swimming in front of her half closed brown eyes.

Her face was turned towards the nearest daylight and she had crept her arm out towards the sand and sun but she knew it was useless. She was pinned and hurt badly. Her eyes started to close lethargically and she mentally shook her head, trying to stay awake.

Greg had really been the first to accept her and that had mixed feelings about it. She could tell Greg Sanders had a crush on her but she tried to discourage it. Greg was nice and cute but he was not her type. She realized soon after who really was her type and she tried to hide it from everyone, including the very one she crushed on, Grissom.

To her, Grissom stood for stability in a chaotic world, an intelligent in a declining society. Someone who was unreal because he seemed above the human species.

She moved slightly and her entire body hurt. A tear streamed out of her eye and mixed with the sand and dirt that her cheek was being pressed into because of the way the car frame was on her. Think good thoughts, she told herself.

She focused on Grissom and that special moment when she realized he was returning her affection. Their first kiss was amazing and she smiled a little through her pain as she remembered the feeling when his soft lips connected with hers. He seemed hesitant at first but as soon as she decided to up the ante he heated up the kiss.

She was still amazed at how easy it was to hide the relationship from the people who were closest to them. They only saw what they wanted to, it seemed.

That brought her attention to her surroundings once more. The small part she could see. It was sand. God, a random desert. They were a dime a dozen in Nevada.

Her breath hitched as she realized her odds of being found was small. Was this what Nick felt when he was buried alive?

The fear sapped her energy and she fought with her eyelids and lungs.

She lost the fight with her eyelids and settled on unclenching her fist around the sand, dirt, and glass.

It was harder to get a good breath. She wondered again the extent of her internal injuries. She was so tired. Maybe she could just rest until it was later.

Maybe the sleep would regenerate her.

As long as she remembered to breathe.

In and out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.