me: auuuggh I'm taking forever to write this, sorry.
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"Well, here we are," Kiiro said nervously. "The Amegakure Arena! Let's-- let's all fight our very best, right?"
"I'm doomed," Chigatana whispered. "Even if Kuroppi doesn't activate her sharingan, I'm doomed."
"Yeah," Kiiro said. "But, if you make that one fight good enough, and show good techniques and judgement skills, you might make chuunin anyway. Unless of course you were just going to give up?"
"I'm not giving up!" Chigatana yelled. "Just you wait and see! I'll beat Kuroppi, and then I'll last long enough to beat you! But see if you last that long..."
"Only if I'm lucky," Kiiro giggled. "I'm fighting Aki-sama, remember? I'm pretty much doomed. But I'm going to try my hardest!"
"Don't worry," Aki said quietly. "I won't come down on you too hard."
"Woah!" Banshou said. "Was that Aki-chan making a threat?"
"I think it was," Kiiro giggled. "But, since I already knew I wasn't going to win, that's all right."
"You don't think you can win?" Haku asked. "I bet you could."
"We'll see," Kiiro huffed. "It must be easy being super strong like you. Neko-chan doesn't stand a chance either."
"Eh?" Koneko said. "This guy is that strong? He doesn't look it..."
"Well, he doesn't seem straight either," Daidaiiro said. "And since he likes Kiiro, we're pretty sure he is."
"Hey!" Kiiro said. "Waddayou mean 'pretty sure'? Don't insult Haku like that!"
"Are you really one to talk?" Daidaiiro chuckled. "When you first met him, you thought he was gay too..."
Kiiro glared. "Yeah, well, first impressions can be misleading, obviously!"
"Not always," Haku said. "I thought you were cute. And I was right."
"Well, I didn't say always are, I said can-- oh." Kiiro blushed. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Haku said.
"... Hey, where's Kuroppi?" Chigatana said. "If she was here she would've said something to scare me more."
"Her exams-sensei had her come by the arena earlier," Kiiro said, "For some last-minute advice. She's already there! So don't think of worming your way out of this fight."
"You just want to watch him get beat up," Honemashi said.
Kiiro grinned. "Maaaaybe... since he was all almost-fatally injured and stuff before I wasn't able to beat him up myself during the second part of the exams. I would've felt guilty about kicking him when he was down."
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"Hey, Ero-sennin." Naruto pulled Jiraiya's sleeve. "Why are we going to see the chuunin exams?"
"There's something you need to know," said Jiraiya. "But I have to tell the other person involved, and she's taking the chuunin exams. You'll get to see her fight."
"Really?" Naruto asked. "A girl? Who?"
"You may have heard of her," Jiraiya chuckled. "Her name's Warai Kiiro. The self-proclaimed demon enthusiast."
"Demon enthusiast?" Naruto froze. "Does this have something to do with that bastard fox?"
"Surprisingly, not really," Jiraiya said. "I doubt that subject will even be brought up. Now, come on. I wanna get good seats for the exams!"
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Itachi cleared his throat. He and his little sister were in the center of the Arena, waiting for the others to appear.
"Yes?" Kuroppi said. "Come on, the others won't take that long to get here."
"Don't overuse your sharingan," Itachi said. "Reiko-chan."
"Wow... you're worried about me, aren't you?" Kuroppi smirked. "I guess you do have feelings after all."
Itachi smirked. "Reiko-chan, that's a cruel thing to say to your older brother."
Kuroppi smirked back. "I must be a cruel person. Also, don't call me 'Reiko-chan.' My name is Inuzuka Kuroppi now. I might be your sister, but Kiba-niisan and Hana-neesan are my siblings too."
Itachi sighed. "I suppose that's my fault..."
"I suppose it is," Kuroppi said. "Thank you. Bugging Kiba-niisan is some of the most fun I ever have."
"KURO-CHAAAAAAAAN~!" Kiiro ran into the arena and met her teammate with a flying hug. "Good luck in the exams! Not that you'll need it..."
"You're right, I won't," Kuroppi said smugly, scratching Fuyu behind the ears. She nodded at Itachi, who disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
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"ALL RIGHT!" Hidan said from the commentator's box. "WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S AMEGAKURE CHUUNIN EXAMS! FIRST UP IS INUZUKA KUROPPI VERSUS CHIGATANA CHIMARU!"
"That's Kiba's sister..." Naruto gasped form his place in the bleachers. "I didn't know she was going to be here!"
Kuroppi stepped into the arena, waving at the crowd. Chigatana also stepped out, but he was shaking slightly.
Naruto frowned.
"What's wrong?" Jiraiya asked. "Old girlfriend?"
"No!" Naruto said. "For a second, I thought she looked like Sasuke! That's all..."
"That's not surprising," said a voice from the row behind him. "Most people think she is Sasuke..."
"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto yelped. "What are you doing here?"
"I was supposed to train Warai Kiiro for the chuunin exams..." Kakashi said boredly. "But she reminded me of you so I skipped out."
"Hey!" Naruto said. "That's a stupid reason! What if now she stands no chance of winning?"
"Oh, I doubt that," Kakashi chuckled. "I hear she's pretty gutsy."
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"GO KURO-CHA-- AH-AH-ATCHOO!" Kiiro sneezed. "GO KURO-CHAN!"
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"Don't worry," Kuroppi said. "I'll go easy on you... Fuyu, this'll be easy. you can take a nap."
Fuyu nodded and fell asleep on the side of the arena.
"I won't hold back!" Chigatana said nervously. "Right?"
Kuroppi smirked. "I think you're talking to yourself."
"I WANT A GOOD, CLEAN FIGHT!" Hidan yelled from his box. "FROM BOTH OF YOU!"
Chigatana pulled the sword at his waist out of his sheath. "Come at me!"
Kuroppi smirked. "No."
"W-why not?" Chigatana asked angrily, though his knees were shaking. "Are you s-scared?"
Kuroppi rolled her eyes and threw a kunai lazily at Chigatana. He barely managed to deflect it with his sword.
When the kunai bounced off of Chigatana's weapon, though, he smirked (even though his knees were still knocking together).
"That sword..." Kuroppi narrowed her eyes. "It has some lame-ass special ability, doesn't it."
"You're right!" Chigatana said, sounding more frightened than triumphant. "The second your kunai and my sword touched, your kunai was hit with chakra fire! If you p-pick up that knife again, you'll be roasted alive!" Which, from Chigatana's voice, would not be a good thing. "S-So you better not touch it."
"Hmm..." Kuroppi flicked a small shuriken at the sword, and it bounced off too. "So this works with all types of metal?"
"Y-yes..."
"Well, then." Kuroppi reached into her kunai holster and pulled out a large, folded-up piece of steel. "Let's see how it stands up to this fuuma shuriken!"
She unfolded the giant 'windmill of death' and swung it as hard as she could at Chigatana.
He put his sword in front of the shuriken, but it still spun around the sword and swung into Chigatana's face, making a deep cut on his cheek.
"Ah... ah..." Chigatana's eyes widened in fear. "Antidote! Right!"
Shakily, he reached into his kunai holster and pulled out a little purple bottle. "Stop... the burning..."
Kuroppi lazily jogged over and swiped the bottle from Chigtana's hands. His entire cheek was blackened now, and the wound was making sizzling sounds.
"It's over," Kuroppi said. "Give up."
"I give give up! I forfeit! Now give me the antidote before the burning reaches my eyes!"
Kuroppi handed over the bottle to Chigatana, who rubbed the purple goop inside on his face. The burning stopped and his skin returned to its normal hue, though blood still poured through.
"WINNER OF THIS MATCH..." Hidan yelled into the megaphone, "INUZUKA KUROPPI! I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN AN INUZUKA FIGHT WITHOUT THEIR DOG BEFORE!"
This yelling woke up Fuyu, who growled at Hidan. Hidan whimpered.
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"I don't get it," Naruto said. "What happened."
"She took advantage of the sword's ability," said a monotone voice in the row behind him. "Since all metal that touches the sword heat up to the point where it can burn skin, Kuroppi had her shuriken touch the sword, then Chigatana himself. Exactly what I would have done."
"And who are y--" Naruto turned to face the speaker. "Oro... orochi..."
The speaker's eyes narrowed. "I am not, nor will I ever be, that bastard pedophile Orochimaru. My name is Hebitsukai Kon."
"She's not a boy either," said Anko cheerily from beside Kon. "But she sure does look like one!"
Kon glared at Anko. "Shut up, sensei."
Anko stuck her tongue out at her student. "No. Keep speaking like that and I'll put you through another solitary hell-week."
Jiraiya's eyes widened. "You've been using that training method? Wasn't that one of Orochimaru's--"
"It works, doesn't it?" Anko giggled. "Besides, unlike Orochimaru, I watch from a hiding spot when I trap my students in the Forest of Death."
"It's still the Forest of Death," Jiraiya pointed out. "Not safe for children."
"Well, mine can handle it," Anko shot back.
"Sensei, we're your students, not your offspring," Kon sighed, pulling out a copy of a book titled The Sasori Code. "Stop referring to us as such. Kuroppi's adopted, Kiiro's an orphan but she met her real mother when she was dead, and I've got... that man. Unfortunately."
"Yeah," Anko giggled. "Sucks to be you."
Kon punched her sensei not-too-lightly in the arm, not once looking up from her book.
"THE NEXT MATCH..." Hidan yelled, "KAGUYA HONEMASHI and AKASUNA DAIDAIIRO!"
Kon closed her book. "Honemashi and Daidaiiro are beating each other up? That might be interesting..." She grinned. "Kukuku..."
"Hey, Anko," Naruto whispered. "Are you sure she's not Orochimaru?"
"We're sure," Anko whispered back, "Sort of. It's complicated."
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Daidaiiro and Honemashi stepped into the ring.
"Hey there, short stuff," Daidaiiro said, smirking.
Honemashi sighed. "You have problems," he said.
"MATCH COMMENCE!"
Daidaiiro pulled out a scroll. "Come on out!" Two puppets came out of the scroll: a little girl in a black dress, with a black ponytail and a blonde boy with a huge, striped top hat, sporting a large scythe.
Honemashi blinked. "Those look familiar..." he said quietly. "... No matter. I will win."
He pulled a blade of bone from his shoulder. "Puppets can never be quite as good as a seasoned warrior."
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Naruto gasped. "He's-- he's-- I thought the last Kaguya was Kimimaro!"
"Technically, yes," Anko said lightly. "But Honemashi-chan is friends with Aki."
Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Himura Aki? The Houk--"
"Yes, her," Anko said. "That's why you brought Naruto here, isn't it? To meet little Aki-chan?"
Jiraiya's brow furrowed. "No, he's supposed to meet Kiiro."
Kon narrowed her eyes at Naruto. "You are Kiiro are awfully similar," she noted. "... No good can come of this meeting."
"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?!?" Naruto yelled. "WHY SHOULDN'T I MEET THIS PERSON!"
"Because," Kon sighed, "I left my earplugs back in Konoha."
"HEY, YOU--"
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The black-attired puppet charged at Honemashi. Honemashi rolled his eyes and stabbed it through the middle with the bone blade, which was long enough that the puppet's arms couldn't reach him.
Suddenly, a bug-like attachment sprung form the puppet's stomache and bit down on Honemashi's shoulder hard.
"That's Maria's hidden weapon," Daidaiiro said loftily. "Of course, if you were a little bigger, then her little baby there wouldn't be able to get you. So I guess we can thank Aki for that."
Honemashi gritted his teeth. "It's not... her fault... she'd never brought anyone back before..."
"Ah, but if she hadn't screwed up you'd be taller now, wouldn't you?" Daidaiiro teased. "And then maybe you'd be tall enough to ask her out..."
"WHAT THE $^%%*%$^% DID I JUST SAY?!?"
Bones burst out of Honemashi in all directions, destroying the puppet Maria completely and piercing Daidaiiro himself in several places.
Honemashi stood in the center of the ring, huffing and puffing. "Whatever mistakes... Aki-chan made... I don't mind. I'm still alive, aren't I?"
"Yeah," Daidaiiro chuckled. "And look on the bright side! Since you'll be eight years old the rest of your life, you won't ever have to worry about not being able to sing as well as you used to because your voice changed!"
"YOU!!!" Honemashi yelled.
The second puppet, the one with the top hat and scythe, flew at Honemashi. He made a plate of bone on his arm and blocked the puppet, who pulled out his scythe and took a swipe at Honemashi.
Honemashi jumped away barely in time, and the scythe cut through part of his clothing.
The Kaguya boy rolled his eyes. "I've had enough of this tomfoolery. FINGER BULLET DRILL!"
Daidaiiro was peppered with tiny pieces of bone from Honemashi's fingers.
"Give up, or it gets worse," Honemashi said flatly, growing a long needle-like bone from each finger. "You are Banshou-san's teammate, so I don't particularly want to hurt you."
"Why does that matter?" Daidaiiro chuckled, his voice losing volume quickly. "Banshou isn't even from your village."
"Yes," Honemashi said, "But we among Aki's saved. Those of us that Aki-chan brought back from the dead... are the closest I have to family."
Daidaiiro frowned. "That... makes no se... nce..."
He fainted from blood loss.
"You wouldn't get it," Honemashi said. "You've never died."
"THIS MATCH GOES TO HONEMASHI!"
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"I still don't get it..." Naruto said. "How is he alive if Kimimaro was the last Kaguya?"
"Well..." Kon said. "You should ask Kiiro about it. She probably knows more about it than I do."
"Why does Kiiro keep coming up in this conversation?" Anko noted.
Kon smirked. "Because she's an idiot."
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"UP NEXT--" Hidan looked at his script. "--HIMURA AKI VERSUS WARAI KIIRO!"
"Hey Aki," Kiiro said as both girls entered the arena. "If I win, will you buy me dango?"
"Sure," Aki said, "But if you die you have to buy me an ice cream."
"... How can I buy you an ice cream if I'm dead?"
Aki raised her eyebrows. "Well, obviously I'm not gonna let you stay dead. I'm not that heartless."
"Nah, you're right. But if you bring me back, I'll owe you another ice cream. So I'll buy you two on separate occasions. Deal?"
"That seems fair."
"MATCH, COMMENCE!"
Aki stared at Kiiro.
Kiiro stared at Aki.
Aki stared back at Kiiro.
"... Well?" Kiiro said. "You coming at me, or am I coming at you?"
"Doesn't matter. You wanna go first?" Aki said casually.
"Sure." Kiiro shrugged. "Why not? ... Hey, Aki?"
"Yeah?" Aki asked.
"Can we not do little testing-each-other jutsu and just cut to the chase with jutsu that are at least medium-level? I haven't had lunch yet and I wanna eat."
"Silly little Kiiro," said the voice of the Houkou. "Always thinking about her stomache. Aki, the power's all yours. Beat her quick, I'm hungry too."
Aki smirked. "Well, then! Let's finish quickly so Houkou doesn't complain in my head too much."
"Agreed." Kiiro took a low stance, with her fingers crooked like claws. "Let's go. Kitsune-tsume!"
Fire-like chakra glowed around Kiiro's fingernails, which grew longer and sharper.
"So that's what Mesu-no-Kistune taught you," Aki said. "Your nails are sharper, and anything they slice will burn. You're probably faster using this technique too, because you're drawing on youki as well as chakra. Well... here's something that Houkou taught me!"
The air around Kiiro grew heavy, warm and moist. Vines crept out of the ground and started slithering up Kiiro legs...
"So... sleepy..." Kiiro's eyelids started to droop.
"NO KIIRO!" yelled a voice from the stands. "DON'T FALL FOR IT! IT'S OBVIOUSLY A GENJUTSU!"
Kiiro didn't know that voice, but it seemed familiar somehow. Like it was a voice she'd known when she was very small...
Her eyes snapped all the way open. "You think burning thing is the only thing my new claws can do? Genjustu-sakeme no jutsu (illusion tear technique)!"
Kiiro's fingers burned brighter, and she brought them in front of her and slashed at the air.
At the places where the kitsune-tsume touched, a giant hole appeared in Aki's genjutsu. Kiiro jumped through the hole and ran to deal Aki a blow before she could put the illusions back up.
Right before Kiiro was in striking distance, though, Aki disappeared.
"Aki-sama?" Kiiro called, looking around her. "You're not above, to the left or to the right... you must be below! But I can jump faster than you can dig!" She started leaping at random to various places in the arena.
A kunai hit Kiiro in the back, near her left shoulder blade.
"Silly Kiiro..." Aki's voice echoed all over the stadium. "I'm not under you, I'm all around you."
"That simply impossible!" Kiiro yelled. "Unless of course you somehow have Haku-kun's bloodline... and you've got the mirror thingies out but you used a genjustu to hide them..."
"You're getting warmer," Aki teased. "But I can taste that ice cream now. You can't see me, you're as good as dead."
"Well, damn," Kiiro said as another kunai hit her in the front of her right calf. "If we keep this up, I won't be able to move around much, and I'll be a sitting duck. More so than I already am. One thing to do, I guess, would be... San-nin Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" (three-person summoning technique!)
Kiiro's thumb hit the ground, and three foxes jumped out.
"I still say that technique is cheating," Anzentenkou sighed, licking his light orange paw. "One drop of blood between the three of us. Demons use you humans' blood as money, you know!"
"Plus," Ussura chuckled, "We like seeing you suffer if it's something tiny like that. What Aki-chan's up to, though..."
"Is a bit harsh." Tanshokutenkou clicked his tongue is disapproval. "Really. Can't you just knock her out using that techinque?"
"Ah," Aki's voice echoed. "That I could. But if I just do that, Kiiro won't try at all. You came to this fight expecting to do your best, but lose, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Kiiro admitted sheepishly. "Besides, Haku will probably beat Neko-chan, so if I win this I'll have to fight him. Which would suck, since we only realized we liked each other about thirty-two-and-a-half days ago. You see my dilemma?"
"Well then," Aki said. "If you don't figure out at least how to be able to see me again, I'm gonna keep throwing pointy objects at you until you can, or can't. in that case, though, you'll die. And I'll make you buy me a really expensive ice cream once you're resurrected. So hurry up and figure me out!"
"Sounds like you're pretty bored," Kiiro giggled. "Well, lessee. You're the Houkou jinchuuriki..."
"Obviously."
"And the Houkou's element is 'illusion.' If I can't see you, and your voice is echoing everywhere... I must be trapped in another genjutsu! Genjutsu-sakeme no jutsu!"
The hole wasn't visible to Kiiro this time, since the genjutsu looked the same as her surroundings, but she stepped though where she'd slashed to find Aki facing her.
"Well then," Aki said. "As bargained, I'll knock you out fairly painlessly and you won't have to die again. That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"Nope," Kiiro said. "But ummm..."
"Yes?"
"I'm a bunshin."
"WHAT?!?"
The real Kiiro, who had dug underground after slashing a whole in the genjutsu... under her, jumped out of the ground and dropped the strongest axe-kick she could into the front of Aki's shoulder.
Aki crumpled to the ground, but she slowly stood up...
An explosive kunai hit the ground in front of her.
"Aki-sama..." Kiiro sighed. "I know you can do more than that..."
"Don't. Call me. -Sama," Aki said through gritted teeth. "I have no control or jurisdiction over you."
"Yes, but I do owe you my life," Kiiro giggled, ducking to dodge a kunai thrown at her, "I call you 'sama' as a way of thanks. I respect that you're a kind, honest person. If I die and you bring me back again..." the blonde grinned. "You'll be Aki-hime."
"I'm not a p-princess!" Aki stressed, clearly mortified by the idea. "If you want to thank me, just thank me! Don't go all crazy!"
"Why not?" Kiiro said. "I mean it with the utmost respect and only a little bit of mockery..."
Aki sighed exasperatedly. "Listen, Kiiro, do you know how--"
But before Aki could finish her sentence, Tanshokutenkou (who had snuck up on Aki while Kiiro distracted her) kicked her in the head with his foreleg, knocking her out.
"I give up," the Houkou said, using Aki's body to speak. "I promised Aki I'd let her finish this fight by herself."
"AND THE WINNER IS... WARAI KIIRO!" Hidan said, somewhat suprisedly into his megaphone.
"WOOT!" Kiiro jumped up and down, before turning to Aki.
"Hey, Hokou-sama, is Aki okay?" Kiiro whispered worriedly. "I didn't concuss her or anything, right?"
"She's fine," the dog demon chuckled, "Just sleeping. Which I think I should be doing, myself..."
And Aki's body finally lay silent.
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"Woah..." Naruto said. "Was Aki... a jinchuuriki?"
"She still is," Kon sighed, rolling her eyes. "Kiiro wouldn't have the guts to kill Aki. She'd consider that... 'un-honorable' or something. If Kiiro hadn't distracted her like that, though, Aki would have won... Kiiro needs to learn to fight others seriously or she'll die again."
Naruto blinked. "Again? I thought you could only die once..."
"Yes," Kon said, "But-- nevermind. It doesn't concern you. And I'm not sure I'm supposed to discuss that with people who have nothing to do with it."
Jiraiya chuckled. "I used to know a little boy like you," he said, "But then the little boy's parents died and he turned into a pedophile."
Kon's eyes widened, and she gave Jiriaya one of the best glares she had ever unearthed in public (because we all know she practices glaring at mirrors). "Who... are you comparing me too?"
S... Scary... Sweat ran down Jiraiya's face. "N... no one, umm... Hey Naruto! We need to go now! You have... um... go... to... to meet that girl who just fought!"
"What? Oh! You mean Kii-"
Jiraiya grabbed Naruto and rushed him out of the spectators' section of the stadium.
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Kiiro sighed, sitting down in the competitors' area. "I actually beat Aki-sama... Wow..."
"And you looked good doing it," said Haku, sitting down next to her.
Kiiro blinked. "... Aren't you supposed to be out there, fighting Neko-chan?"
Haku smiled awkwardly. "Hidan's running a halftime service..."
The words 'DO THE WAAAAAVE!!!' echoed through the hall, coming from far away.
"He's so full of energy," Kiiro laughed, putting her head on Haku's shoulder.
He wrapped his arm around the blonde girl's waist. "Yes, but that trait is much cuter on you. Especially since you're not an Akatsuki member..."
"Don't judge people based on what group they're a part of," Kiiro said gently. "Some of them joined against their will, I've been told. And I met one of them once who was adorable."
"Adorable?" Haku smiled awkwardly. "Really?"
"Yeah!" Kiiro giggled. "I think he said he was seventeen years old, but he looked just like a baby."
"Really, a baby?" Haku said. "...Is he a friend of yours?"
"Nah, I just talked to him once. He was surprisingly polite, for an S-Classed criminal, too." Kiiro grinned. "If I ever have a kid, I hope they're that nice."
"For some reason, I find that hard to imagine," Haku laughed. "You as a mother, that is."
Kiiro grinned. "Why is that? Think I couldn't get married? Or that I just couldn't get any?"
"No! That's not it at all..." Haku blushed and looked away. "You just don't act much like someone who'd grow up to settle down and become a housewife that easily."
"I'd probably still do the ninja thing if I wasn't on maternity leave," Kiiro said. "Hire a sitter or make my husband, whoever that would be, watch them while I was on missions."
"Sounds like you have everything planned out," Haku said, smiling amusedly.
Kiiro sighed. "Yeah, now that I think about it, I might be too young to make plans like that. I shouldn't get married 'till I'm at least nineteen or twenty..."
"You're probably right about that," Haku said. "How old would you have to be to get engaged?"
"Eighteen or nineteen," Kiiro said in sagely tones. "So I'd be less likely to be getting married over just an infatuation."
"... Is that what you have for me?" Haku said slowly. "An infatuation?"
Kiiro blushed. "Well... that's what it was at first. Right now, it's either a really big infatuation, or maybe the roots of actual love. I'm only thirteen, I don't think I'm capable of romantic love quite yet. Puppy love, maybe."
"Well..." Haku gave Kiiro a kiss on the forehead. "As long as I get to spend time with you, that's good enough for me."
"You're too kind for your own good," Kiiro mumbled, returning the kiss on the long-haired boy's cheek. "I'm being pretty brutal with you here. Hey... the sounds of Hidan being obnoxious are dying down. You should probably go out and get ready to fight Neko-chan..."
"Probably," Haku sighed. "And if I win, I'll have to fight you in the next round."
Kiiro grinned. "Yup. Loser buys the winner dinner?"
Haku smiled and said, "It's a date."
With that, he got up and walked in the general direction of the ring.
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"She should be somewhere around here..." Jiraiya said. "Naruto, we're looking for a blonde girl about your height. Actually, from what I'm told, she looks a lot like you... minus the whisker marks."
"Okay," Naruto said, "Why do we have to find her again?"
"There is something I have to discuss," Jiraiya said slowly, "With both you and her."
Naruto gave Jiraiya a funny look. "She's not my secret-fiancee-since-birth or anything, right?"
Jiraiya laughed. "Thankfully, no. If you and her got married and had a kid, that would be one weird baby. Come on, let's go look for her..."
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Kiiro was sitting in the part of the arena where those participating could watch the fights. Haku's fight was about to start, and so she was a little jittery.
"Oi! You!" A male voice yelled, startling her. She fell over and landed on her side.
"... Yes?" Kiiro asked slowly, standing up an rubbing her shoulder. Her eyes widened. "Ji- Ji- Jiraiya-sama! I've wanted so long to meet you!"
The writer of the Icha Icha Paradise series smirked. "Thank you. If only this brat could show the same respect."
Jiraiya jerked his thumb at Naruto, who scowled.
Kiiro grinned. "You're... Naruzumaki, right?"
"W-WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Naruto yelled. "MY NAME IS NARUTO! UZUMAKI NARUTO!"
Kiiro grinned. "I give people nicknames, sorry. The only way out of it is to become one of the 'kages. I guess, in your case, that'd be if you were Hokage. And I didn't give nicknames to the Densetsu Sannin-- they're the three biggest summoners, and I want to be the best, so I have to respect them."
"Even Orochimaru?" Jiraiya said suspiciously.
"At first, yes," Kiiro sighed. "But then I met him in person and he and I didn't get along very well, so... he gets a nickname like everybody else. So now he's Ororo-chan."
"Ororo-chan..." Jiraiya broke out laughing.
"Hey!" Naruto said. "I am gonna be the next Hokage! So don't give me a nickname!"
"Until you become Hokage, or I can think of a better nickname, you are, to me, Naruzumaki. Trust me, I don't let anyone get out of this. They all get one." Kiiro smiled almost apologetically. "So, what're you two here for? I've got a couple guesses but I'm probably wrong. Does it have something to do with the whisker marks on Naruto's face?"
"... I don't think so," Jiraiya said. "Actually, I don't know why they're there in the first place."
"Neither do I," Naruto said. "...Do you?"
"They're Jinchuuriki markings," Kiiro said. "They're proof that you contain the Kyuubi-sama."
"... Did you just give the suffix '-sama' to the thing that killed your parents?" Jiraiya said disbelievingly.
Kiiro made a face. "Kyuubi-sama was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing, consciously. Demon sake is extremely potent, and he's probably still hung over."
"No wonder he was so grumpy when I talked to him," Naruto chuckled. "So, Ero-sennin, if it's not about the bastard fox (Kiiro winced), why are we here?"
"Well..." Jiraiya sighed. "I need to talk to both of you kids. Privately. You see-"
"THE NEXT MATCH WILL NOW COMMENCE!" Hidan roared into his megaphone. "DETARAME KONEKO versus HAKU! READY... FIGHT!"
Kiiro turned away from Jiraiya and Naruto. "Can this wait? These guys are my friends. Actually, so is pretty much everybody fighting today."
"It can wait," Jiraiya sighed. He and his pupil both sat down next to Kiiro, who giggled with excitement.
'I can't believe this. I'm sitting between one of the strongest demon-summoners of the age and the jinchuuriki of Ussura-chan's grandmother, I get to watch Haku-kun fight, and I finally get to see Neko-chan's fighting style!'
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Haku stepped into the ring to the usual cheers-for-bloodshed that accompanied fighting at the chuunin exams, and someone yelling:
"EHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!? WASN'T HE DEAD DATTEBAYO?!?"
Haku turned to see the speaker, to see one Uzumaki Naruto look to the left, to right right, and point suspiciously at the girl sitting next to him, who happened to be Kiiro.
"Good luck!" Kiiro yelled, with a bit of choked laughter in her voice that was directed at Naruto.
Haku smiled at Naruto and Kiiro, waving to them, then turned to face Detarame Koneko.
Hidan smirked in to his megaphone. "MATCH... COMMENCE!"
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Koneko shivered. 'According to Kiiro, this guy is pretty strong... I'm not that good...'
Slowly, she took her fighting stance.
Haku's eyes widened. "... Koneko-san... who taught you that stance?"
"Hatake Kakashi..." Koneko said shakily. "Why?"
"N... no reason..." Haku said slowly, shaking his head, taking a stance of his own.
They stood there for about thirty seconds, not sure what to do, until Haku rolled his eyes and ran at Koneko.
Appearing behind her, Haku roundhouse kicked Koneko in the back of the head, sending her into the wall.
Koneko bounced back off the wall and sent several kunai at Haku, which he dodged easily. The older boy flicked a senbon at Koneko, hitting her in the shoulder.
She tried to move her arm.
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"He-- he died!" Naruto yelped. "Almost two years ago! I was there-- I saw it!"
Kiiro's eyes widened. "Really? You know Haku-kun?"
"Yeah... How do you know him?" Naruto asked suspiciously.
"Me? I met him about half a year ago. His team and my team were chasing tthe same target, it turns out."
"Really, dattebayou?" Naruto asked. "Who?"
"Yakushi Kabuto," Kiiro laughed, "My team was trying to get at him because he stole a chocolate formula, and Aki's team-- which Haku was on-- was trying to get at him because Kabuto killed Aki's brother."
"Oh," Naruto said. "I guess that makes sense, HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?!?"
"Aki-chan?" Kiiro called down the hallway. "Can I tell him?"
"No!" Aki yelled back. "I'll tell him, later!"
"Kay then, I won't tell you," Kiiro giggled. "Let's just watch the tournament for now, mm-kay?"
Naruto grumbled in his seat.
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"My arm!" Koneko gasped. "Why won't it move?"
"Because I paralyzed it with those needles," Haku said quickly, "Like this!" He hit Koneko's other shoulder.
Koneko growled and shook herself so a kunai fell out of her holster, then picked it up off the ground with her teeth.
Haku launched more needles at Koneko, who dodged this time and started shifting her weight from one foot to the other, causing her arms to swing.
"I can still move my fingers," she huffed, swinging her right hand onto her left arm and holding it there with her right hand.
Energy crackled around Koneko's left hand, nearly invisible at first.
Haku's eyes widened as the cat-eared girl began to charge...
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(Haku Flashback)
"Please kill me..."
The mist was cold and thick around him, but he could see Naruto standing in front of him, frowning sadly. As the other boy charged Haku, the water vapor lightened a little, to show him the man charging his adoptive father.
Zabuza-san...! Haku raised one hand to block the kunai aimed for his face.
"Sorry Naruto, but I can't die just yet!"
Using a transportation jutsu, Haku launched himself in front of Hatake Kakashi.
And all there was, was pain. The lightning of the copycat ninja's chidori seared through Haku, burning through his ribcage.
"Zabuza... san... " Somehow, Haku managed to grip Kakashi's arm before the pain became blackness that consumed his vision...
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Haku stood frozen. He needed to move, or Koneko's chidori would hit him. Why couldn't he? Haku's body was as frozen as the ice mirrors he conjured.
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"Gee, that's the same attack that killed him," Naruto said. "But why is he standing like that. He looks kinda... scared..."
"The attack that killed...? Of course he's scared, you idiot!" Kiiro yelled. "Things associated with the way you die will always be frightening!"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "And how would you know--"
"SNAP OUT OF IT, HAKU!" Kiiro yelled rather loudly. "YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS! WIN THIS FIGHT AND--"
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As previously discussed, Haku was paralyzed with fear as Koneko ran at him with the attack that had previously brought out his untimely demise.
He could see nothing but the lightning snapping around Koneko's fist, smell nothing but Koneko's glove burning, feel nothing but the heat that radiated off of it. He could hear nothing save the crackling of the chidori--
Until Haku heard Kiiro.
"SNAP OUT OF IT, HAKU!" she yelled, her voice echoing in the long-haired boy's head. "YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS! WIN THIS FIGHT AND-- AND I'LL... UMM..."
Haku swatted Koneko to the side as if she were a bug. "Yes?"
"I'LL... ummm... WIN AND I'LL SHOW YOU!"
Meanwhile, Koneko flew into the wall from the impact of Haku's blow, and was knocked out.
"WINNER, HAKU!" Hidan yelled into his megaphone.
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"... That was really anticlimactic..." Jiraiya said.
"What are you gonna do?" Naruto asked Kiiro.
Kiiro blinked. "Umm... I don't know. I just wanted him to not get blasted by lightning for the second time in his life, that's all."
"Actually, that's only the first time in the life he's got right now," Aki said, approaching Kiiro and Naruto. "But still, I'm not surprised the raikiri would scare him like that."
"Death affects people in odd ways," Kiiro agreed. "Every time Kuro-chan pulls out a kunai, I get nervous. Oh, and I've started to see blood as amusing."
"... Is there anyone in these exams who isn't dead?" Naruto asked.
Aki nodded. "I'm not dead, Daidaiiro's not dead, Akaii's not dead, Sakura's not dead--"
"Sakura-chan's here?" Naruto gasped. He ran off in search of pink-haired women.
"Kuroppi's not dead, Chigatana's not dead, and I don't think the proctor is dead," Aki finished, "But I have heard stories that he might be. Gosh, that boy is rude."
"I'm beginning to see why people mistake me for him," Kiiro agreed.
Someone blew in Kiiro's ear.
"Eek!" Kiiro turned around to face the offender. "Who was-- Haku-kun!"
Haku smiled. "You said you were going to do something, if I won. What was it?"
Kiiro blushed. "I don't know... I... I just didn't want you to get lightning-blasted by Koneko-chan," she admitted. "Umm... but... I'll think of something. Or you could."
"I can think of something." Haku wrapped his arms around Kiiro's shoulders. "Close your eyes..."
"Okay..."
Kiiro closed her eyes, and Haku kissed her gently.
"Haku... kun..." Kiiro leaned against his chest, burying her face in his shirt. "Dammit, now I'm blushing..."
"You were blushing before I kissed you," Haku pointed out.
Kiiro made a face. "I was? That was probably from embarrassment, though. Now it's just because you kissed me."
Haku wrapped his arms around Kiiro in a hug. "Well... good to know."
Jiraiya, who was still there, started scribbling in a notebook furiously.
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"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! I didn't know you'd be--"
Naruto ran directly into Haruno Sakura's fist.
"I don't see you for a year, and you're still this annoying!" She smiled. "But it's good to see you. Sort of."
"Really?" Naruto grinned widely.
Sakura twitched. "I said, sort of."
"NEXT MATCH!" Hidan roared in the distance. "HARUNO SAKURA versus DOUBUTSUYAMA AKAII!"
"Well..." Sakura smiled awkwardly. "Guess I better go..."
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"Ah, Jiraiya-sama?" Kiiro looked at said ninja, who was still writing in his notebook. "You needed to talk to me about something, right? I don't really know either of the people fighting right now... so I won't be too put out if I don't catch this fight."
Jiraiya sighed. "But it concerns Naruto, too... and he'll want to watch Sakura's fight..."
"Oh, right..." Kiiro noted, "Naruzumaki and Saku-sempai are teammates! And their sensei is Hatakashi, and their other teammate is Uchihasuke..." she grinned. "Wow, suddenly I feel bad for the guy. Naruzumaki, that is."
"I don't think I blame you," Jiraiya chuckled.
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me: whew, I spent way too much time procrastinating with this! happy thanksgiving, everyone!