Well, I got this idea from lukevader. "Azumanga Python's Flying Pigtails"

So here it is the first on of the 'lot and this will be updated every Friday—Sunday.

Also…I don't own Azumanga Daioh or Monty Python.

Dead cat sketch

Today was the first day Sakaki had started her dream job. She was working at a pet shop. She was cleaning up the counter, getting ready to go to lunch, when suddenly Tomo burst through the door. She was holding a cage.

"Hello, Tomo…um I'm sorry but my lunch break just started…uhh, but my manager can help you." Sakaki said.

"Whatever…" Tomo said grouchily. Sakaki went out the front door and Kagura appeared from behind the counter.

"Yo, may I help you?" She asked.

"Ah yes, I wish to register a complaint." Tomo replied.

"What is the problem?"

"I wish to complain about this cat that I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique." Tomo said, showing the cage she was holding. Inside the cage was a cat lying on its side.

"Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Forest Cat ...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it…" Tomo said in an angry tone, "It is DEAD! That's what's wrong with it!"

Kagura blinked. If she was caught doing this again she was going to be fired. "No, no…it's um...Uh…resting! Yeah…resting…" She said.

Tomo raised an eyebrow, "Resting?! Look, I know a dead cat when I see one and I'm looking at one right now!"

"No, no, no, he isn't dead! He is just resting! Beautiful cat, the Norwegian Forest, nice soft fur, eh!?"

Tomo gave Kagura an annoyed look, "Nice fur? Nice Fur?! Who cares?! IT IS STONE DEAD!"

"He's just resting…"

"Alright, if he is resting, then I'll wake him up!"

Tomo raised the cage to eye level and shouted, "HELLO?!? Mr. Kitty?! Wake up! Wake up! I've got a nice fishy for you when you wake up!!!"

Kagura quickly hit the cage, "There, he moved."

Tomo glared at Kagura, "No, he didn't…you hit the cage…"

"Why I'd never!" Kagura countered.

Tomo just shook her head. She took the cat out of the cage and yelled into his ear, "KITTY!!! Wake up kitty! WAKE UP!!!"

She then banged the cat on the counter and yelled again, "KITTY!!! Kitty Cat wake up!!!" and she threw it on the floor.

"Now that's what I call a dead cat" Tomo said.

"No, no, he's just stunned." Kagura replied.

"STUNNED?!"

"Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Forests stun easily, major."

Tomo sighed, "Um...now look...now look, friend, I've definitely had enough of this. That cat is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not a half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired after playing with a yarn ball."

Kagura thought for a moment, "Um…He is just…uh…just…depressed! Yeah! He probably misses his mom!"

"Depressed?! What kind of talk is that? Tell me, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?"

"Um… those type of cats like being on their backs! Remarkable cat, eh? Nice soft fur!"

Tomo was getting very frustrated, "Look, I took the liberty of examining that cat when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting up straight in the first place was that it had been NAILED there."

Kagura blinked, "Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed him down, he would have run off! Vroom!"

"Vroom?! Kagura, this cat wouldn't 'vroom' anywhere if you put four million volts through him!!! HE IS DEAD!!!"

"Um…no, he is just depressed!"

Tomo was just about to snap.

"He is not depressed! He has passed on! This cat is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He is a stiff! He is a late cat! He doesn't rests in life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the cage, he'd be pushing up the daisies! He is now history! He's off the twig! THIS IS AN EX-CAT!!!!" She shouted.

Kagura sighed, "Alright, I'll tell you what, I'll replace your cat."

Tomo got the new cat and left.

Kagura sighed again, "Now what to do with this?"

The End.