Hermione, Neville, Jay and Silent Bob sat in a circle in the Chamber of Secrets. The chamber became their favorite social place to smoke. It was secret, and the only two people in the castle who could get down there were Tom and Bob, neither of whom were on speaking terms with any teachers. The weirdest thing was when the Basilisk wanted to join him. It didn't every time. But now and then, it did. Bob kept his mouth shut about what the King of Serpents like to babble about when baked out of it's mind.

"So, Hermione, you figure something out for that special assignment due tomorrow?" Neville asked.

"Of course. Have you?"

Neville sighed. "Not really."

"What assignment?" asked Jay.

"Harry gave us a special assignment due last class before term ends, which is tomorrow. Who ever can come up with the funniest boggart form wins a prize." Hermione said.

"What the fuck is a boggart?"

"It's a creature that takes on the shape of what ever you're most afraid of." Neville said.

"I ain't scared of fucking shit man. It wouldn't take the shape of nothing with me."

"Bullshit!" the very stoned Neville said, ignoring Jay's horrible grammer.

"Fuck you wizard boy!"

"Prove it Yank!"

The two of them got up and hurried off, leaving Hermione alone with Silent Bob.

"You think those two will be alright on their own?"Hermione asked.

Bob shrugged, took a hit and passed the joint to Hermione. She moved over close to him and took it.

Of all the oddest friendships to form, Hermione and Bob became good friends. Whenever Jay would want to sneak into the castle to chase pussy, Bob would hang out with Hermione. Usually in the library, but not always. They made a good fit with each other, she liked to talk and he liked to listen. She was different then Jay though. She actually said things. Smart things. And she never insulted him once.

The two of them sat there in silence for a few moments, passing the joint back and forth. It wasn't long however, until the two were snogging.

The mostly squib heir of Slythering with a Gryffindor muggleborn. Somewhere, Marvollo Gaunt was rolling in his grave.

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The next day in defence, after collecting their 'study guides', Loki asked the students who had a story to share. Almost all the hands in the room went up. Everyone had boggart forms to share. Hermione and Neville waited to go last. They each thought they had the best form.

"Hermione, who and what's yours?" Hermione smiled at Neville.

"Neville Longbottom. His form, last I personally saw it was of one Severus Snape." Most of the class laughed at the memory. A number of students kicked themselves for not using that one.

"Ouch. How bout you Mr. Longbottom? Yours better then yourself?" Loki asked.

Neville said through a grin at Hermione. "Bitch." He then stood to address the class. "Jason Derrick. His form is of himself sucking the penis of a faceless man." The class lost it. They all knew who Jay was by this point. Just about every girl in the school had filed a complaint against him by this point. Half the village as well. "We found this out last night. Oh, and by the way Hermione, my form changed."

Neville sat back down. Hermione whispered over to him. "What was your new form?"

Neville pointed at Hermione, then at himself, then he started to violently dry hump his desk. The students around him thought he was having an attack. Hermione just turned red.

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Loki's Christmas present to Tom was that he would cast any one spell on anyone one person for Tom. Being the calculating mind that he is, Loki gave him a month to think over the details. Tom decided to use this to kill as many of his former followers as possible.

Tom had Loki place Molly Weasley under the Imperius curse. He instructed her to bake special Christmas cookies for specific employees of the Ministry. Not the same kind of special Christmas cookies Neville made himself. These were poison, but in such a way that they were very hard to trace. Not impossible, but hard. Someone with half a brain might figure it out. But then, this is the Ministry we're talking about. And even if they lucked out, the only person getting in trouble are the Weasleys, a family Tom cared nothing about. He just knew that Molly was a well known Light side home maker. No one would think twice about cookies from her.

Loki didn't feel bad, because he knew if Molly got in trouble, Albus would be there in a second to help her. He'd just stroll in like it was happy hour at the Blue Oyster (which Albus was a regular), and tell everyone that all the dead were evil or that Molly was under a curse. Everyone would go home happy and drink milk. Or whatever it is normal people do to celebrate. Loki was always a fan of orgies.