Dear Ron

This summer has been longer and harder than any before, my dreams are full of dread, as I relive everything that happened last year, I get so lost in my nightmares I've forgotten what its like to fall into a dream. So here I am, potentially falling way over my head, It's taking me about a year to understand my feelings, and what my dream actually is, and over that year, I've slowly watched it slip away. Your my dream Ron, and over the year, though your probably to thick headed to have noticed, you and Hermione have fallen for each other, I can just imagine you blushing as you read this, and then get angry and want to hit me, but what ever you do, don't stop reading. This is taking me a hell of a lot of courage to write this, and then it will take a whole lot more to send it. I love you Ron, you were my first friend, and now best friend, better than any one I could have hoped to have in my life, but my love for you grows deeper then that. I thought at first, maybe it was hormones, but I've watched you for so long now, it can't just be hormones, because when I am apart from you, I want to be with you that much more, I'm not good at expressing my feelings Ron, but that was some thing I had to say, please don't hate me.

Harry

I stare at the letter, reading it over and over in my head, I already know it of by heart, I can't send it, I can't, he'll hate me. But what if I don't send it, and some thing happens, and he'll never know, that has to be worse then him hating me. So I send it, I watch Hedwig fly away with the letter attached to her foot, and I pray for a response, anything, even if it says we can only ever be friends, or him telling me he hates me, I need a reply.

"Harry, get up," I look at my door, Aunt Petunia is banging non stop, I look at the clock, half eight, shit. I walk up to the door, and open it, "Where's our breakfast?"

"Sorry," I mumble, "I will do it now." She stares at me, the stare that says I'm not worthy of living in such a fine house and I should be lucky that her precious family puts up with me, but she doesn't have to tell me in a look, I've been told that ever since I was four years old, but I'm sure they told me when I was only one, I just didn't understand, but I understand all too well now, I'm not wanted, and never have been, not here any way.

"What's wrong with you?" She asks, and steps back, as if my disease she thinks I have is catching, I don't reply, and she moves forward, leering over me, her skinny frame intimidating my even skinnier one, what Mrs Weasley would say if she saw me now, she'd probably lock me in the kitchen until I eat at least ten home made meals, what I wouldn't do to be at the Burrow right now. I'd do even more to be with Ron.

"No meals today, and tidy this room, your lucky your uncle went to work early, what he'd say to you slacking of, ungrateful shit," She slams the door in my face, and my stomach rumbles, no meals today, no meals yesterday, and a piece of bread the day before that, the simple life right?

I collapse back on the bed, I wouldn't call it my bed, my bed is at Hogwarts, this bed is hard, the sheet is simply a stone floor beneath me, the pillows sharp rocks under my head. I stare at the window, waiting for a reply, I blink, and I fall asleep, I dream of nothing in particular, but at the same time, my thoughts make me feel as though I am in a nightmare, locked in a room, a cinema in front of me, of every one I love dying, and one by one I watch the green light hit them, and they fall to the floor. Until finally, it's my turn, but at that moment, I'm welcoming it.

A loud rattling on my window, and i wake up, covered in a cold sweat, my body shaking in my cousins hand me down, I look up, and adjust my glasses, Hedwig is there, a letter tied to her leg, I get up cautiously as if my legs have forgotten how to walk, I retrieve the letter, and she hoots at me, so i struggle over to her cage, and give her a treat, my hands shaking as I open the letter, I stare at it for a few minutes, before i finally read it.

Dear Harry,

That letter was, well, I wasn't expecting it. I don't know what to say. Your my best friend, always and forever, through and through, and I love you. But I have never thought about you as more than that, I'm sorry. But, I read the letter over a couple of times, and then I realised I might feel the same way, its hard to explain and I'm shit with words, but looking back on all the times that I'd be spending time with you, doing nothing and it was fun, and care free, then when I was with that face sucker, how I had to struggle to enjoy myself, and you don't know this, but when i was with her, I always thought of you, I just always thought I was thinking of you in a friend way, but I think I was wrong. And You git. I did not blush, and yes I got angry, I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that I do not have feelings for Hermione, it would be like dating Ginny, she is a sister to me, and completely mental, and not my type, right now, I don't know what my type is any more.

Ron

P.S mum says you are to come to my house the day after tomorrow. Write back if you can, so its not awkward when you get here.

Blinking at the letter, what was he trying to say, did he like me? He said he loved me, but that seemed to be as a friend, when he was with Lavender he thought of me? But in a friend way. But he thinks he is wrong. God I'm confused.

Ron

I'm confused. You said you loved me, but you meant as a friend? When you thought of me when you was getting your face ( and knowing Lavender probably other parts ) sucked of, you was thinking of me, but as a friend? Hermione is just your friend, but what am i? What is your type? I'm confused. And I'm not a git. You are.

Harry

P.S Looking forward to seeing you all, I'm starving.

I smile a bit at my response, and call Hedwig over, she looks overly pissed of with me, and I just sigh, "Please Hedwig, its important," She looks at me as though she understands, and I smile gratefully, and tie the letter onto her leg once more, and wait for a reply, she was going to Devon, and that would take at least twenty minutes for her, I read the letter again, and the last line hits me, I'm going to the Burrow, the day after next, I can't go, not now, after I told Ron, god, how stupid am I? I can't stay here, I'll go mental, and probably die of starvation, but going there, and facing him, after this, can i really do that? I sigh, I have to do it, I have no other choice. What was I expecting, confess my feelings for my best friend, and what never see him again? Avoid him forever? I can't do that. I look around the small box room, and pick up some of my clothes, and fold them, putting them into the trunk, and sort all my books out, I've been here two weeks, and I've completed all my school work for the holidays, and some thing i can never tell Ron, but I've already started studying for my N.E.W.T.S but what else is there to do, except fantasise about your best friend.

Ron's owl came hooting at me through the open window, banging on the wall, I laugh a little, and give the owl some treats, and water, and open the letter, I sit on my bed and read it carefully.

Harry, Your determined to make this hard for me aren't you, and by the way, you are a git. I hope these answers are clear enough for you. I love you as a friend, but more at the same time. Secondly, Lavender did not suck any where other than my face, and when I was thinking of you, it wasn't in a sexual way, but, it was definitely in a way, you do not think about your friends. And you Harry Potter are my best friend, but maybe one day, some thing more ? Finally, you, your my type.

Ron

P.S Hedwig looked a bit winded so I sent this idiot, hope he went to the right person. Speaking of food, mum has prepared a feast for you, and we're having a birthday party for you, and for me, I thought we could do a double, what do you think? Mainly its because I know mum hasn't the money for two, and she really wants to throw you a party, so I said I don't mind sharing, in fact it was all my idea, mum wants a list of your favourite food, so get writing.

I laugh at the letter, and blush so much, I'm glad no one is here to see me. I grin at his writing, and how confident he sounds, knowing if i would be speaking to him face to face we both would be bright red and stuttering.

Ron

Do you think we could be some thing more, maybe one day soon? Tell your mum that she doesn't have to throw me a birthday party, and she should be spending her money on you, because your worth it. But knowing you, you wont tell her, and give her a list of my favourite food any way, your owl didn't bump into anything, except the wall, but i think he is okay.

Harry

P.S I like chocolate

I watch Ron's daft owl fly away, and read Ron's letters again, smiling, I look at the clock and realise half the day has gone by already, and my stomach has finally noticed. I pull out one of my school books, and start to read, its Potions, my most hated lesson, but the one I need most to become an Auror, which is what I want to be, when I leave school, and yeah when I save the world from that bastard. Which hopefully will be soon, and then hopefully I can get on with my life, and maybe I can get on with my life with Ron.

An hour and a half later, Hedwig is sat on my lap, a small box and a letter attached to his foot, I open the box first, two chocolate frogs, I notice that the collectable card have been taken out and I laugh, and eat one of the frogs, which has also been stunned, so they are not jumping, as I chew, I read the letter.

Harry

Maybe that day is closer then you realise, sorry about the wait, mum wanted me to do the dishes, I told her what you like to eat, especially chicken, because we all know your a chicken fan, and she took it all in, and is probably down stairs preparing a banquet, she keeps on saying its not every day you turn sixteen, so I think she is going all out on this one, she's invited Hermione, and a couple of our friends, Neville, Seamus and Dean will be there, so should be a laugh right? I hope you enjoy the frogs, I know I will enjoy the cards, and by the way I know you don't like it when they jump, so I took care of it for you. I can't write no more, because, well, my hand hurts, and my hand should be doing other things, but i will see you soon, I love you.

Ron.

P.S Yes what your thinking is right, about what i shall be doing with my hand.

I laugh out loud, and fold the letter up and put it with the others, these are something I will treasure for ever, I lay on my bed, a smile creeping across my face.

"Harry!" Well, the smile wouldn't have lasted long any way, my cheeks had started to hurt, I get up quickly before having to be called again, and walk down stairs, two at a time.

"Yes Aunt Petunia?" I ask, in my most polite voice ever.

"Dishes." She says, and I nod, and go to the sink, and start doing the dishes, even though they have a perfectly good dish washer. It takes me twenty minutes to do the washing up, and by that time Uncle Vernon was home.

"How was it today?" He asked, like he asked every day, it being me.

"He didn't come out of his room all day, he didn't cook breakfast," She said, and looked at me as if I was the biggest pain in her life, but i probably was.

"Is that right?" He asks, and looks over at me, as I put the last dish in the cupboard. "Any reason for you not cooking breakfast?"

"I woke up late sir." I said politely, "I'm sorry." He looks at me blankly.

"When are you leaving?" He asks, its the question he has been burning to ask for the past two weeks, and the question I've been longing to answer.

"Day after Tomorrow," I say, and he smiles.

"Do you need anything signed?" He asks, and I shake my head, "Good, now get up to your room," I do as I'm told, and grinning all the way up. I finish the chocolate frogs, saving the second one for tomorrow, just in case.

I woke up extra early, rushing down stairs quietly to make breakfast, and my aunt and uncle smiled at me, happy that it was their last day with the freak, I smiled back and went back upstairs, taking notes in my head of all the chores Petunia needed doing before I left, there was about ten things, but I didn't care, I was glad to be kept busy, because time seemed to slow down when I thought about where i would be tomorrow.

I hoovered the whole house, and cleaned the floors and sides in the kitchen, that took three hours, but it was still only lunchtime, I polished the furniture, and cut the grass in the back garden where I would be out of sight from the neighbours, it was about four now, so I did the dinner, and thankfully was allowed to eat some, not a lot though, because apparently I missed a spot on the kitchen floor, it was now eight, and I was in the shower, washing myself harshly, as if I was washing away the last two weeks.

I walk into my bedroom, and see Ron's owl sat on my bed, a letter and box attached to her leg, I open the box, to see a sandwich, and a chocolate frog, and I smile, and read the letter as I eat.

Harry, mum thought you might need this. And i was looking for an excuse to write, I miss you, even though I will be seeing you tomorrow, feels like a life time away. Merlin, I sound like a girl. Mum is coming to yours at ten, so be up, and ready, and I will see you then. If you can't send a reply don't worry, the sodding bird is a wreck, can you bring it with you tomorrow, don't think its safe for him to fly any more. Love Ron x

I grin at the letter, he needed an excuse to write, things were definitely looking up for us. I blush when i see the x next to his name, but shake it of that he probably didn't mean it. I go to sleep dreaming about Ron, and it was the sort of dream you do not have over your best friends, but I enjoyed it.

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