Disclaimer: I don't own Mahou Sensei Negima

Special thanks to my beta reader: Spritznar

Chapter Three – Of Memories And Misunderstandings

Konoka kept staring at the bunk above her vaguely listening to what Asuna was saying, her body answering automatically when the red head handed her a cup filled with warm, steaming tea. "Thanks." She said and took a generous gulp from it just to humor her kind friend who seemed extremely worried for her. "It's delicious." She said handing the cup back over to Asuna's waiting hand. It surprisingly was, and that was saying a lot since Asuna managed to even burn water when it came down to anything kitchen related. But with her current state of depression, she doubted that her words meant anything to the other girl who just gave her a sympathetic look. She was beyond caring for that at the moment though, she was really tired for some reason and just wanted to sleep until the next day...homework and house chores be damned. She was sure Asuna could handle it for just one day.

"So...Do you want to tell me what happened?" She heard Asuna carefully ask after she gave the cup back.

Why did people always ask that? That was the last question she wanted to hear and answer at the moment since it brought back the recent events that had taken place. Not that she had already forgotten them, she couldn't't stop thinking about the subject since her grandfather had sent them away from his office, it made her remember the coldness with which her beloved grandpa had treated her, something that had never happened in her almost eighteen years of life, and it brought back with full force the fact that she had to carry the responsibilities that were forcibly bestowed upon her shoulders.

The memory brought tears to her eyes and she fought desperately to fight them back causing her lips to tremble against her will from the effort. It was all just unfair, she didn't even had a say in the whole conversation. It was her life that was being treated with no importance at all. The thought made an anger which she had never known surface inside her. She was no unfeeling doll that could be used as her grandfather saw fit! Had her grandfather planned this the moment she had been born? Was this the fate of every Konoe girl born into her household? If it was, then she didn't want to be part of that selfish family any longer. It was her life! Only she had control of it!

What about her father? Where was he? Hadn't he heard about this unfortunate event? Or was he also part of it? Mixed emotions were brought upon her at the thought, sadness and anger the strongest ones. Had her father really been part of this scheme?

It was so unfair...she didn't want to get married to some boy she didn't even know just because her grandfather requested it of her...and just when things were going so well between her and her Secchan...

Secchan...

...How did Secchan feel about all of this? Was she as upset as her? She remembered now that she hadn't uttered a word to her all the way back form the Headmaster's office. And she had been so emotionless and distant during the entire meeting.

"It's okay, you don't have to." Asuna's said awkwardly bringing her back to reality upon seeing her evident distress. Momentarily forgetting her problems, she managed to give the kind girl a faint but honest smile. Asuna could be so considerate when she really wanted to be. She was so lucky she had a friend like her by her side.She returned her gaze to the bed above her after the small exchange between them but a small cough and a deep voice immediately got her attention and she turned her head again to see her Secchan standing behind Asuna with a lost expression adorning her face.

"Asuna-san, I'll be leaving now. I'll see if Tatsumiya needs any assistance with her patrols." She heard her Secchan say and instantly she felt fear take over her being. Couldn't Secchan see that she needed her at her side right now? Couldn't those patrolling duties wait for her sake? Surely her grandfather would understand why she missed them. He would have to, after everything he made her go thorough.

"Okay." She heard Asuna say and saw her stand up smoothing out the invisible wrinkles of her skirt.

"Secchan..." She pleadingly whispered when she couldn't bear her fears any longer.

With her gaze focused solely on her Secchan, she saw with the corner of her eyes as Asuna silently picked up the almost full cup of tea that was surely long cold now and one that had surely been her Secchan's from the table and place them in the sink to wash later. She then made her way silently towards the door and got out to do god knows what but she felt thankful nonetheless. She would have to remember to properly thank her as soon as she had the chance, but right now, her Secchan was all that mattered to her.

She watched on intently as Setsuna slowly walked towards her, lean her sword against the bed frame and kneel next to her as Asuna had done just a moment ago and take her hand into her own two harm hands. "Don't worry Kono-chan," Her Secchan said with a tenderness seldom seen in her. "Everything is going to be alright, I promise." She finished with an affectionate squeeze of her hands.

The sweet action made her remember the time in which she had fallen ill with a deep fever a couple years ago. Her Secchan had stayed by her side the whole day and night, even when both Asuna and Negi had long fallen asleep. She had taken hold of her hand long into the night when her fever got worse and she was at total loss of what to do except to wait for the medicine to kick in and hope for her fever to subside. She had woken up the next morning feeling a lot better only to find her Secchan had fallen asleep next to her still holding her hand exactly like she was now. She had never let go. The hole time her Secchan had stayed by her side.

That was the first time Konoka ever felt the sensation of butterflies in her stomach at the sight of her best friend deep asleep with the morning light shining upon her. She remembered everything. The slight numbness of her hand, the cause of her waking up. The smalls specks of dust that were visible only through the dim rays of the sun that filtered through the window and the ethereal effect they had on her Secchan. The almost inaudible noises of her soft breathing and the rise and fall of her back with every breath she took. She remembered she couldn't help but blush when her free hand unknowingly, moved to caress the soft cheek of her Secchan and her touch had inevitably woken her protector up and she was caught staring so intently, so adoringly at her Secchan. She remembered the cry of pure happiness and relief her Secchan gave when she saw that she was okay and that same cry had woken Asuna and Negi up with a jolt. She remembered the friendly pats she received from Asuna when she walked over to her and the sigh of relief Negi gave. She remembered perfectly the hurried way her Secchan had withdrawn her hands from her own when Asuna asked why she was holding on so tightly to her and the weird way she felt when those warm hands no longer engulfed hers. She remembered trying to pinpoint what exactly she had felt when she had seen her Secchan asleep like that and the way she felt every time she saw her after wards.

Yes, she remembered everything. And she remembered the day when she discovered that the odd feeling she was having had been nothing other than love. She had felt a little scared at the time not knowing nor understanding why she felt that way towards her childhood friend and the sudden anxiousness that took over her and her sudden need to tell someone about her weird emotions. She remembered she had turned to Asuna in a moment of despair when she could no longer keep those strong emotions to herself. She remembered when she told the girl the way she had reacted; first surprise which she mistook as disgust and then the sudden cackle she had gave, more appropriate coming from someone like Eva-chan. She remembered feeling flustered and a little angry at Asuna for reacting like that. And she remembered that, after many apologizes on the red head's part, the way she tried to explain that she didn't feel disgusted or anything, that in fact she had wondered when she would be able to admit it to herself. She remembered the surprised one had been her then and she had asked Asuna what she meant, but the read head had refused to answer. She just told her to find out for herself.

She remembered pondering about those words for days, making her Secchan worried about her for all the sighs and the looks to nowhere she sometimes gave and the way she got easily distracted looking at her Secchan's back during class and the snickers Asuna gave at her side when she got caught for staring so intently. She remembered a few days after that the way she had yelled at her Secchan from pure frustration, shocking both herself and her Secchan. She remembered the look of pure hurt her Secchan gave her, a look that clearly asked her why. She remembered the sad way her Secchan had uttered an apology and then left the room with her head hung low just as Asuna entered and asked what had happened. She remembered how guilty she felt as soon as her Secchan gave her that look and the moment in which she explained everything to Asuna. She remembered the way Asuna sighed and shook her head and told her to wait in the room for a minute and the way she ran out immediately after wards. She remembered that after waiting for a few minutes Asuna had come back with her Secchan behind her looking as if she was imposing on them. She remembered the way she suddenly flung herself to her Secchan and clung to her neck asking for forgiveness. She remembered feeling her Secchan slowly return her embrace and tell her that it was okay. She remembered seeing Asuna scoff at their show of affection and the way she suddenly remembered a mysterious errand she forgot to take care of and the way she ran off before any of them could say anything leaving them all alone.

After that day she remembered beginning to feel more tranquil about her newfound feelings for her Secchan, beginning to fully understand and embrace them. And then, after quite a while, she remembered when she began to see the signs that her Secchan might love her back too. They were all subtle but definitely there. The way her Secchan blushed when their fingers accidentally brushed against each other when reaching for something, the way she would stutter when she took hold of her hand or linked their arms together when they were out shopping. The way she would defend her when her training with Eva-chan got a little bit out of hand and she actually got hurt and the small vampire would not let her rest until they finished her training for the day. The way she would tend to her wounds with the utmost care, as if she was touching a porcelain doll and, overall, the way she would look at her sometimes...her gaze filled with something that seemed like incontrollable longing.

She remembered crying one night out of happiness from knowing that she may have at least some hope that her Secchan might feel the same for her.

She remembered a few weeks ago when she decided to gather the courage to finally confess those precious feelings to her Secchan, a task easier said than done. She had many chances to do so but every time she lost her nerve at the last minute and always finding an excuse to explain to her Secchan why she suddenly turned into a living tomato, something more usual for her protector, and the abruptly changing the course of their conversation.

Then today had happened. She remembered that after last class for the day, which was a different one from her Secchan's, a girl from another class had approached her and told her that her grandfather had asked for her and he wanted her to meet him at his office as soon as possible. She remembered having thought nothing special out of it as she thanked the girl and jogged out of the classroom hoping to see her Secchan before she had to go meet with her grandfather. She remembered catching up to her at gardens in front of the gates of the school and calling out her name to get her attention. She remembered having a small and unimportant argument with her Secchan who still hadn't given up the habit of calling her Ojou-sama, a title she did not liked to be addressed as, especially not by her Secchan. She remembered the sudden fear that took hold of her heart the moment her grandfather's office came into view, a fear that she would just a few minutes later, know the reason for.

She wished that all of this had never happened. She wished that she had never gone into her grandfather's office. She wished that all of this was just a bad dream and that she would suddenly wake up in her room to the noise Asuna made when she got ready for her morning paper rout.

She wished she could believe the words that her Secchan had just uttered to her in such a comforting voice. Because how could everything be alright? Knowing her grandfather like she thought she did, she knew that she might as well let go of any kind of hope she might have. But hope was everything she had, so the words that came out of her mouth where nothing like the negative thoughts she was having.

"I know Secchan," She lied trying her best to give her friend the most honest smile she could muster. "I trust you." She truly wished she could believe in her own words and in her Secchan, after all her friend had yet to break one of her promises.

Her Secchan returned the smile with a warm one of her own and shyly bent down to place a feathery kiss upon the back of her hand. "Thank you Ojou-sama." The girl said reverting back to her usual proper kind of speech making her pout but decided that this one time she would let it go, after all, her Secchan had shown her more affection during these past few minutes than she had in a very long time.

"Do you really have to go right now Secchan?" She asked keeping the pout on her face that usually worked like magic on her Secchan to get her to do as she wanted.

"I'm afraid so Ojou-sama, I can't just miss on my rounds whenever I want to." Her Secchan said with an endearing smile that clearly told her that she wanted to stay as much as she did.

"But I don't want you to leave." Konoka said with seriousness this time. She still had to tell her Secchan that special something. She blushed hotly at the thought of actually going through with that. She knew, more like hoped that her Secchan felt the same way about her. But what would happen if she poured her heart out to her protector and found out that all her hopes had actually been wrong? What would happen then? Would her Secchan push her away?

"I know Ojou-sama, but here's what we are going to do." Her Secchan said failing to notice the rosy color on her protege's cheeks "I'll come by tomorrow first thing in the morning and we'll spend the whole day together. How does that sound?" Her Secchan proposed in a cheery voice.

"But we have school tomorrow Secchan." She reasoned although she really wasn't looking forwards to going.

"Then we'll just have to skip, won't we?" Her Secchan said with a mischievous smile adorning her beautiful face.

"Really?" She incredulously asked not really believing what her ears had heard. Did Secchan just proposed to skip school with her?

"Yep, really." Setsuna said nodding her head with enthusiasm. "And we'll do whatever you want to do." She added.

"But Secchan, we always do what I want." Konoka gently chided with a smile. At least now she had something to look forward to. She must really look like a mess since the only times her Secchan proposed outings such as these where at times when Konoka was feeling especially down.

"Well that's how I want it to be, so no complaints." Setsuna said in a playful commanding voice making Konoka laugh cheerily.

"Ok Secchan, we'll do it your way." She said relenting to her Secchan's wishes. "Thank you Secchan." She said looking directly at her protector's eyes after a moment of silence.

Her Secchan looked at her curiously before asking in a puzzled tone, "For what Kono-chan?"

"For everything, for being with me right now, for taking care of me, for cheering me up...I'm really glad I got to be your best friend." She explained giving her Secchan a meaningful look before closing her eyes tiredly. She could hear Secchan's faint 'Ojou-sama' before the later replied.

"Don't say such silly things Kono-chan, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She said reassuringly giving the hand between her own another light squeeze.

"I know." Konoka answered. "You know Secchan, I suddenly feel very sleepy, you wouldn't mind if I just closed my eyes for a minute would you?" She asked cracking one eye open to see her Secchan smiling adoringly down at her with an expression that clearly said 'you cute spoiled kid you'.

"Not at all, you've had a hard day and you should get some good rest. I'll come pick you up tomorrow morning okay?" Her Secchan said gently disentangling their joined hands before gently covering her completely with the blanket.

"Okay, thank you Secchan." She replied feeling sleep starting to consume her. The last thing she was aware of before completely drifting to a dreamless sleep was a whispered 'sleep well' followed by a gentle pressure on her forehead, the steps of her Secchan walking away and the almost inaudible click of the light switch being turned off.

- - -

"What!?"

Konoka just had a few minutes of sleep when the loud cry that seemed to have come from outside the room woke her up with a jolt. She was still very tired, why did people had to be so loud when she was still in need of some sleep? She could vaguely hear the voices of two girls arguing about something just outside her room but she decided that she was still too tired to go outside and tell them to take their conversation to somewhere else. Perhaps is she ignored the loud voices she would fall asleep again, or maybe they would go away soon. At least she hoped they would.

She closed her eyes again and tried to keep the voices that were becoming an annoyance out of her mind.

"How can you stay so calm!?" Wait, that was Asuna' voice speaking just now. And she sounded angry. What was she doing yelling to someone when she knew that she needed some rest? "This is Konoka we're talking about!" The sound of her name being mentioned got her attention and suddenly sleep was the farthest thing from her mind. She was talking about her? Why?

" Do not assume that you are the only one upset about this!" Another girl's voice echoed through the empty room slightly muffled by the walls between them. "I care about Konoka more than anything else! But if you go about screaming your head off, Ojou-sama will know what we're talking about and she will start crying again!" That was her Secchan. And she sounded angry too. Why was she arguing with Asuna? Had they gotten into a figth? Why?

The conversation carried on although the volume of their voices had dropped significantly, apparently Asuna remembered that she was still in the room. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't sleepy any longer she was curious about the conversation that was taking place outside her room. What to do? She didn't want to eavesdrop into other's people conversations, but it was obviously important if it got her two best friend fighting with each other, and she was involved too from what she had heard.

She tried to fight the urge to listen for a couple minutes until she couldn't hold her curiosity any longer. Convinced that she had the right to find out what was happening outside, she threw the blanket aside and quietly got up, silently tiptoeing towards the door. With a beating heart and hard breathing she quietly pressed her ear against the door.

"I really appreciate your words and sentiments, but things don't work like that." She heard Setsuna saying in a tone of voice that broke her heart. Why was her Secchan so sad? What had she missed? Was Asuna the cause of this? If she was, then she swore she'd...

"Don't give me that crap now..." Asuna's annoyed voice cut through her dark thoughts but she was cut short by Setsuna's suddenly stern voice.

"No, Asuna-san, this isn't crap I'm saying. Ojousama's world is different from ours, and don't give me that look." She said pausing for a moment. "This is the truth and it won't change no matter how much we dislike it."

Her world? What on earth was her Secchan talking about? How was her world any different from hers, or anybody else's fro that matter?

As if thinking the same thing she was Asuna's voice that had an incredulous tone asked: "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that Ojousama's life will never be her own." Was the sad answer. "As the next head of the Kanto and Kansai Magic Associations, she will be pushed around and decisions will be made for her, that's just the way it is."

'Just the way it is?' Her heart stopped beating when she heard those words. 'Just the way it is?' Why would Secchan say something like that? Wasn't she the one that was supposed to protect her against anything and everything? A sudden weakness took hold of her body and she couldn't keep leaning her body against the door any longer. Her knees buckled under her and she slid down against the door to the floor. 'Just the way it is? She balled her fists against the door as sad and angry tears swelled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

Apparently Asuna was taken by surprise by the answer too but when she found her voice again she spoke in a tone that Konoka hadn't heard in a long time. It was a voice that she only used in the times when Negi and Chamo still lived with them and only used when the little boy found himself in dangerous situations. A voice that clearly held an edge of iciness and danger rarely heard on her. "I cannot believe what I'm hearing...Just the way it is?" Konoka could tell that her friend was barley able to keep herself from punching Setsuna.

"I told you it doesn't't matter what we think." Came Setsuna's unflinching voice.

"But you're supposed to be her protector!" Asuna all but yelled.

"I know that!" Setsuna quickly answered, Asuna obviously hitting a sore spot.

"Then why don't you do your job for once!?" Asuna screamed again. "Tatsumiya once told you that you don't only have to protect Konoka from physical pain, but her heart as well!"

She received no response from Setsuna this time and Konoka found that she didn't want to listen to anything anymore. Unable to stop the tears from rolling down, she somehow found the strength enough to get up and drag her feet towards her bed. She sat down on it and kept her gaze on the floor but wasn't really looking at it for the tears in her eyes didn't allow her to make out anything but blurry images.

"Well if you're not going to do anything I am!" Asuna declared in her loud voice.

'Stop it...' She clenched her fists against her knees, her nails digging hard into her skin but she didn't care about the sharp pain.

"And just what are you planning to do!?" Setsuna finally yelled back. "Walk in front of the elders and tell them you disagree with their methods!? They've been doing this for generations, the opinion of an eighteen year old girl is as good as nothing to them!"

'Stop it...!' Her breathing became more and more agitated as every word was uttered.

The next thing that was said she could not make out, but she knew that it was Asuna doing the talking.

"I told you it's not that simple!" Was Setsuna's answer to whatever it was that Asuna had said.

'Stop it! Secchan!' She brought her hands up to cover her ears to shield from any sound but she could still hear the angry shouts from outside.

"Well the least you could do is try to do something!" Asuna's voice piped in. She sounded closer now.

"But you just don't understand..." Setsuna started to say but was again cut short by Asuna's louder voice.

"Stop it..." She whimpered and tightly closed her eyes.

"I don't want to hear any more of this crap! If you don't have anything important to say you may as well leave!" Asuna said and that was it. Silence. But it didn't bring any kind of comfort to Konoka, instead she could still hear Setsuna's cold words in her mind. 'Just the way it is.' The sound of the door being opened and closed made her look up and light suddenly filled her vision blinding her momentarily but she didn't try to shield her eyes from it.

A gasp.

"Ko-Konoka...?"

The sound of hurried footsteps edging closer to her.

"Did you hear all that?"

A soft feeling upon her cheek. A sleeve drying off her tears.

"Konoka?"

A hand on her chin forcing her to look into mismatched green and blue eyes.

A dizzying feeling. More water falling from her eyes. A sob.

"Oh, Konoka."

Protective and athletic arms bringing her into a warm hug.

"I'm sorry."

Arms so much like her Secchan's.

"Secchan..."

Another sob.

"Secchan...!"

A hand running up and down her back. A shushing sound.

"I'm so sorry Konoka, just let it out, I'm here."

A comforting voice.

"It's going to be ok."

Not enough.

"Secchan!"

"Konoka where are you going!?"

A panicked voice just behind her. A strong hand on her wrist holding her back.

Fast movement, blurry images.

A slapping sound resonating through the room. A loud wince. A sharp pain in her hand.

Another stronger hand holding her own throbbing one.

"Please Asuna, let me go!"

A struggle. Useless.

"Now's not a good time. I'm sorry Konoka but I can't let you go after her."

Anger. More struggle. All useless.

"Please!"

A shout.

"Calm down Konoka!"

Another slapping sound. More pain.

Silence.

A hand slowly rising to her cheek. It hurt.

"I'm sorry Konoka, you've got to calm down."

Gentle hands on her shoulders leading her back to the bed pushing her down onto it.

A sigh.

Hands lifting her legs and tucking them into the bed.

More sobs.

A hand running through her hair.

"Try to get some sleep Konoka."

A sniffle. The clutching of a shirt. Her forehead resting against the other girl's back.

"Please stay with me Asuna."

A plead.

A short pause.

Another sigh.

A nod

"Sure."

Movement next to her.

A warm body pressing next to hers.

Protective and athletic arms bringing her into a warm hug.

Arms so much like her Secchan's.

Not enough.

So...Another late update. Sorry, World of Warcraft is really addictive. But I tried to make up for the long wait with a lengthy chapter so I'll hope you'll forgive me?

Oh, and if you think that Konoka was just going around in circles with her thoughts, then you got the sense of the chapter. I find that when I'm upset I'm just like that, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. I'll admit that I got a bit carried away this time, but do tell me what you think.

Also, you'll have to thank KuroShiroYamiHikari for the much needed poke she gave me to finish this chapter.