Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, that would be Disney, I just play with the characters.
Title: Welcome To Earth, Third Rock From The Sun
Summary: Cause and Effect. Chain of Events. All of the chaos makes perfect sense, when your spinning round, things come undone. Welcome to Earth, Third Rock From The Sun.
Author's Note: This is a complete crackfic based on Joe Diffie's song 'Welcome To Earth, Third Rock From The Sun'. It's a complete parody and I'm not meaning to insult anybody. Humor people, humor.
Tommy sighed and he signaled the bartender for another beer. He was once again hiding from Kimberly down at Smokey's bar. As he turned to scan the crowd for any signs of trouble he saw someone catch his eye. She was tall, blonde, and had legs for days. He smiled and grabbed his cell phone, "Kim? Honey don't wait up for me, I'm workin' late tonight, okay baby? Bye," he said with a smirk as he snapped his phone shut and made his way over to the stranger.
Kim stared at the phone for a few minutes before bursting into tears, "That, bastard," she shrieked and called Trini, "Trini, get over here! That jerk is cheating on me!" She sobbed into the phone.
Trini sighed and looked at Zack, "I'll be back in awhile, Tommy's eye is wandering again," she said rolling her eyes. She kissed him sweetly and grabbed her jacket, then bolted out the door.
Zack watched her leave and then headed to the kitchen, he looked in the fridge, "Shit… outta beer," he said nudging the door shut. "Walk or drive?" He pondered as he headed for the door. "The store is just a mile, but I'm feeling lazy," he laughed at himself and grabbed his keys.
Zack parked in front of the door and hopped out, he was only going to be in the store for a second. He failed to notice the three teens lurking in the shadows near the exit.
Conner snickered as he watched the dumb lug just leave his car running. "Trent, Ethan, lets go," he said jumping into Zack's car and speeding off. "Whooooo!!" He yelled excitedly, "We've got one life to live guys…."
Zack came running out of the store to hear a pack of teenagers shouting, "Let's get it over with!"
Conner gunned the gas as they flew down the street. "Puttin' the petal to the medal…" he laughed.
"Conner, look out!" Ethan and Trent cried as the car began to swerve, they both screamed as the car began to careen towards a semi truck. "Turn the wheel!" They yelled as Conner jerked the wheel and the car swerved back onto the right side of the road.
Rocky let out a flurry of curses as a car swerved into his lane, "Shit!" he turned the wheel to avoid them, rolling into the Shoney's parking lot, and crashing into the Big Boy out front. He watched as the Big Boy flew through the air and smashed into the bank clock across the street. "Well all be dammed," he whistled.
The bank clock teetered slowly before falling against the light pole. The transformer sparked once, and exploded, showering the corner with sparks. The power lines went down, and Angel Grove went dark.
Kira put down her tray and peered outside the window of Shoney's. She called the cops. "Hello Officer? Yes, I saw everything that happened; a giant alien is landing at the mall. I swear to God!" She exclaimed. "Hello? Hello?" She asked, frowning when she looked at her phone and saw 'Call Ended' flashing on her phone.
Officer Park sighed as he hung up the phone, "Detective Scott that was that youngster Kira, waitressing down at Shoney's. She said 'giant aliens are landing at the mall.'" He snickered, "Any luck getting a hold of the chief?"
Detective Scott shook his head, "No, he's not answering over the CB, I think I'm going to call up the mayor. We've got to do something," he said grabbing the phone. "Mayor Cranston, there's panic in the streets, I hate to wake you up, but we can't find the chief."
Mayor Cranston yawned, "Use your head Jason, if he ain't in his car, he's hiding from his wife, down at Smokey's Bar." With that, he hung up the phone and curled back up with his own wife.