About a year ago, I started writing this story. Then I gave up. This summer, I finally finished it. Yay me!
Title: The Change
Summary: After the daeva hunt in Chicago, Sam decides to go back to school, leaving Dean crushed. Two months after getting back to his normal life, though, Sam receives a call from his father saying that a werewolf is on the loose and Dean, who was hunting it, has gone missing. Worried about the brother that he abandonded, Sam takes the job and soon finds out that becuase of one selfish choice, everything has changed.
A/N: This story takes place immediately after the season 1 episode "Shadow."
Rating: T
Disclaimer: The show isn't mine. If it was, werewolves would look more like werewolves than people with blue eyes and long nails in need of corrective dentistry :)
The Change
"I can't believe you," Sam Winchester muttered under his breath as he stormed into the motel room. He and his older brother Dean had barely made it out of Chicago alive. They weren't quite sure about the fate of their estranged father. "How could you tell him to leave like that?"
"I didn't think he'd actually…" Dean began softly. His whole face hurt and his heart felt like it weighed a ton and a half. He hadn't meant to scare their dad away, had just wanted to play the part of the good son, state the obvious, and drop it as soon as John agreed to stay with his boys. But he hadn't. Instead, the family patriarch had headed back to his truck and taken off, trundling through the shadowy streets, putting more and more distance between himself and his sons as he left.
"You didn't think at all, Dean," Sam snapped, forcefully throwing their duffel bag onto one of the two rickety motel beds, "you never do! Dad's gone. We don't even know if he's alive. After spending six months searching for him we finally find him and you tell him to go away?"
"But, I-"
"Just shut up and let me talk! You drag me all over the country searching for the man and then you just throw it all away like it's nothing. If he wasn't after the thing that killed Jess I wouldn't even be here right now."
"I know," Dean mumbled, his head hanging, fresh blood dripping onto the floral design on the sheets, "but we know he's alive now. We're finally sure that he's got a lock on this thing. We know he's safe."
"But for how long? What if the daevas got to him? You're not there to protect him this time. He could be dead for all we know!"
"He's better off without us, Sam," Dean muttered, looking desperately up into his brother's eyes, "you heard the crazy lady. He's weakest around us. He lets his guard down."
"How do you know that? He knew it was a trap. He didn't come to save us," Sam shot back, his anger rising quickly, "he doesn't really care about us. You think he's weak around us because he's our dad and he wants to protect us? You want to protect me. You're not weaker because of it."
Dean sighed. If only Sam knew the truth. Back when he'd been hunting with his father and on his own he'd never gotten into trouble. He had never missed a beat, never faltered, never second-guessed himself, and he certainly hadn't been captured and nearly killed as many times as recently. He was just like his father, a thought that secretly sickened him. Though he loved the man dearly, there were times that Dean just wanted to get away from him and his ideas about child-rearing.
Sam waited a moment for a reply before sighing loudly and stomping off into the room's small bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Dean stood and slowly approached the single mirror that hung in the room over a small dresser. He looked terrible. The cuts on his face were shallow and probably wouldn't scar, but the events of the night would leave a lasting mark in his mind. Sam wanted to leave.
He laid back on the bed, sighing and closing his eyes. Sleep. That was the answer. With sleep came oblivion, and with oblivion came peace. Peace was just what Dean's troubled mind needed at the moment.
The shower came on as the eldest Winchester brother rolled onto his side, letting his fear slip slowly away as sweet sleep took him. Blackness came, oblivion in the hectic day, an escape, a release. Yes, he needed sleep.
o0o0o0o0o
The sound of the door closing stirred Dean from his nightmare, the same one he'd had for two months after his brother had left for college, the same one that had returned when his father had abandoned him.
He looked groggily around the room to find that he was alone. Fear stirred in his chest. Alone.
Jumping from the bed, Dean checked the bathroom and found it empty. He then turned his attention to the door leading from the room. He wouldn't. He pulled it open and found Sam, checking his bags for any missing clothing, standing outside the door.
"What are you doing?" Dean asked, hoping he didn't sound as frightened or panicked as he felt.
"What's it look like?" Sam replied, "I'm leaving. If dad's following the demon, that's great. It means we don't have to. He'll call when he finds it. That's even better. It means we can go on with our lives. I'm going back to school, Dean, and you can't stop me."
Dean just stared at him, awestruck, as the younger man zipped up his bag and began to walk away.
"Wait," the elder began weakly, his voice catching in his throat, "you can't…"
"I can and I will," Sam insisted, never stopping, never turning around, "and you're just going to have to deal with it. We can't be a family, Dean. We never were. We're just too messed up."
Dean felt his knees buckle, felt himself slide down the wall and into a sitting position on the ground. Without his family, he had nothing. That was it. That had always been it. Just his family. He was too much of a freak to have much else in the world.
He watched as Sam walked away, the dream finally coming true, the pain coming back just as it had when his mother had overlooked him in Lawrence, when Sam had gotten into his car and driven off into the sunset, when his father had climbed into his truck, It was happening again, and there was nothing he could do.
He just sat on the curb and watched his brother's form grow smaller and smaller. Finally, after about an hour of waiting for Sam to come back, to change his mind, Dean went back into his room. The empty bed was a surprisingly painful reminder of what he had lost.
He closed the door, needing the privacy. His father had told him when he was four, still crying over the loss of his mother, that he had to be a man. And real men don't cry. But he was alone, and his father would never find out what he had done in that motel room just past the Illinois state line.
He cried, facedown in the pillow his brother had slept on the night before. It still smelled like him, a mix of blood, sweat, and shampoo. The room was silent, save the hunter's choked sobs and the dull vibration of a cell phone.
So, that was chapter one. You guys know how much I love reviews, right? Well, not only do they make my world go round, but they give me the warm-fuzzies in my tummy. Review away!