Ufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufu! I'M BAAAAAAAACK!!

Nyahahaha! Thanks to aoimizuneko for the lovely review! REVIEW!

START

As a Uchiha, the most prosperous family in their ninja village 'Konoha,' there was an unspoken rule that none of the higher ranked family got scared at all. Fear was for the commoners, not the descendents of nobility. Frankly, for a person of their stature, it would be rather degrading to panic at some lesser being.

For the Uchihas, there were absolutely no such thing as 'bogey men' in the closet nor 'monsters' under the bed, waiting to eat them when you least expect it. Anything distinctly threatening them could and would be taken care of with a kunai-dagger. Their children were the silent ninja prodigies, taking lives with no remorse. After all, the Uchihas were well known throughout the land as "The Deadly Ice Pricks of Konoha."

Even so, that proud family were all dead and rotting in graves. Save for the youngest two of the once great family: the powerful traitor who killed them all, Itachi; and the last Uchiha and self-appointed Avenger, Sasuke. The two brothers tried to uphold the family tradition and pride: show no fear.

As far as Sasuke knew, Itachi didn't have any emotions to speack of, let alone fear, so he wasn't breaking the unwritten rule. Sasuke thought it was obvious that he was the weaker of the two brothers; the one who trained the hardest and, more often than not, broke the sacred rule. However, Sasuke had to deal with the most frightening threat of all…

Fangirls.

"SASUKE-KUN!" one of those things shrieked, her eyes wide and maniacal and her mouth grinning widely to reveal way too white teeth.

Another one, with inhuman blonde hair, causing the object of her infection, sorry affection, to thinkshe must have had to kill some blonde ferret to get it (1), declared, "I love you, Sasuke-kun!"

A die-hard Fangirl with bright pink hair (looking a little too much like Sakura from what Sasuke could see) even cried, "I'll carry your baby, love!"

Running as fast as he could, Sasuke bereted himself for not taking the necessary precautions. Precautions such as a torch blower or maybe one of the chainsaws he saw on a catalog. Mildly entertaining the thought of cutting the non-humans into little bits, Sasuke almost didn't notice he had slowed down.

"SASUKE-KUN!" oh, never mind. Now he has noticed. Before the swarm of Fangirls descended upon him, ravishing every inch of exposed body and tearing close away to ravish even more, Sasuke ran with even more vigor. It wasn't long before he lost them, ending up in a dark and creepy alley.

But Sasuke wasn't scared. Nope, not a bit. Not at all. Fear was for people who couldn't think; therefore, can't act. Uchihas aren't like that. Especially not Sasuke, the last Uchiha, who had to grow up all by himself.

He even wasn't afraid of the shadows, ready to tear him apart. Hiding all the sick and twisted psychopaths, who would rip pieces of flesh out, pinch by pinch. Or hiding all those freaky perverts who would love a young specimen like himself (cough Orochimaru cough). Or, even worse, hiding some stalker Fangirl thing. Or…

Okay, now he was just freaking himself out. But…

Ohmigawd, what was that?! Who the hell moved over there?! Oh, kami-sama save him! The disembodied creature kept moving slowly towards him!

Sasuke nearly panicked, screaming in his head, 'What should I do? Kami-sama! The thing is moving closer! What to do, what to do, what to…wait…'

His genius brain finally kicked into full-gear. Even if it was a freak like a mass murderer, pervert, or a monster (Fangirls fall under this category) they still would still be forced to succumb to fire! Gee, why didn't he think of that before? It wasn't like he was panicking or anything!

His hands flashed through the seals, "Gyso…"

"Sasuke-teme!" the creature called out cheerfully.

Sasuke choked on the fire rising through his throat from the jutsu. He knew that voice! Only one person actually had the audacity to call him a bastard!

Naruto came bounding out of the shadows, his blonde hair shining and the huge grin plastered across his face, "Yo, bastard! Whatcha doing in this dark and creepy alley?"

"Hn, dobe," grunted Sasuke, hiding the fact that he revealed a small amount of fear before his loud and annoying rival bounced out of the shadows.

"That wasn't a f---king answer," pouted Naruto, oddly tacking on at the end, just as an afterthought, "And don't call me a damn dobe, you bastard."

As a prodigy, Sasuke found it odd that Naruto wasn't reacting as strongly to the insulting nickname as he used to but dismissed it, "What the hell do you want, usuratonkachi?"

"That's mean Sasuke. Strikes me right in the heart, it really does," after yet another odd statement, the Uchiha knew something was amiss with Naruto.

Sasuke slammed the blonde idiot into the brick wall of the alley, growling savagely in the wiskered face, "Who are you and what have you done with Naruto?"

The boy, despite being pressed up against the wall by his greatest enemy, glared right back rebelliously, "What the hell are you talking about, you bastard?"

"You can't be Naruto," Sasuke leaned in even closer, almost nose to nose, "Naruto has a direct contact from brain to mouth. He'll say whatever comes to mind first."

Squirming, Naruto vehemently growled. He twisted out of the awkward grip and punched Sasuke very hard, "I'm not that stupid, bastard!"

Sasuke released him in favor of pressing a sleeve against his bleeding lip, "Yes you are, dobe," he announced, satisfied with that Naruto-ish reaction at least.

But that changed in under a second. Before his eyes, Naruto froze up and suddenly became a different person all together, "Fo' shizzle. What up wit choo, man? Firs' de slam and den de names? Wha're ya doin' boy?" asked Naruto (complete with rap gestures!), taking no notice of Sasuke freezing up in shock.

What the hell was up with the blonde annoyance? And what the hell was that weird…talk-thingy?...he just did? "Hn…Dobe? Are you…alright?"

Naruto froze up again, than smiled wanly, "Like, totally man!" cheered Naruto, with another bizarre switch in his personality, "'Cause, like, nature's all in tune with me, you know? It's, like, totally awesome, man!"

Now Sasuke felt something akin to fear take a hold of his throat and tighten it. But it wasn't fear, nu-huh, because Uchihas don't get scared, nope. But what was going on?

Naruto gave the other boy a sudden glare, "You don't understand at all do you?" tears started to fill up his bright blue eyes, "Do one does! Everyone in this f---ing town hates me and no one understands me! Why don't they understand?"

Sasuke was ready to run. He had no idea what was going on, but Naruto wasn't acting like himself. Sure he was really dumb (after all, he kept shouting at the strongest man in the village how he was going to beat him) but Naruto was always the pillar. Even in this constantly changing world, Naruto would still be there to yell at him, "You damned bastard! What's with the stick up your ass? You ready to fight? I'll beat you this time, believe it! And I'll become the best Hokage ever!"

"Jest bee-cauyse I gots some-ting in me, don't means I ain't human neither! 'Nd bee-cauyse yeh are some big shot cleby fam-i-ly don't mean yeh'R all dat special neither!"

At Naruto's weird yell with the even stranger accent, Sasuke decided this might be a good time to split, with a single, "Hn," he walked away rather quickly, his steps almost becoming a trot.

"Sasuke-kun, don't go away!" cried Naruto, running after him. Sasuke paused for a moment. 'Sasuke-kun'? Where did that come from? Unless…no, it couldn't be. Those things couldn't be human, there's no possible way Naruto could have…

"I love you, Sasuke-kun! I want to marry you! Can I have your child! Wait that's not possible is it? Never mind, our love will make it happen!" happily shrieked Naruto, glomping a surprised and shocked Sasuke.

Okay, screw the Uchiha's family rule. Sasuke was terrified.

He actually screamed, "Get off me, get off me!" trying to run away into the busy street with Naruto clinging around his neck in Fangirl…Fanboy?…ism bliss.

Without dislodging, Naruto all but screamed in his ear, "But, Sasuke-kun! I wuv you!"

Sasuke gave up screaming the weird not-Naruto to remove himself this instant, but instead turned to the immobile villagers, "Get it off! Now! Get it off!"

"Sasuke!" a different voice cried out.

The ninja ignored it in favor of crying out to the statue of people, "Get the damned thing off!"

"Sasuke!" suddenly someone was shaking his shoulder, "Sasuke!"

Slowly opening his eyes, he blinked at the sight of Kakashi bending over with his face directly in his personal bubble. A upturned fold in his mask and his eye crinkling indicated he smiled, "Ah, you're awake. Finally."

"What just happened?" asked Sasuke in a daze, more to himself than his sensei.

Kakashi stood up but still looked at his student straight in the eye with his one dark eye, "You dozed off sometime after Naruto and Sakura started to spar. It's over and I was about to wake you up, when you suddenly shouted, 'Get it off! Get it off!' or something like that."

Shaking his head, Sasuke muttered, "So it was just a dream…"

Kakashi seemed to smirk, but no one could tell because of that damned mask he always wears, "I'll say it was more like a nightmare. What was…"

The curious teacher was cut off by his blonde student running up, "Sasuke-kun! Will you…"

Before he could finish, Sasuke took off, leaving behind only a pair of skid-marks where he once stood.

Naruto stared at the spot for a full second before whining out loud, "I just wanted some ramen…Hey Kakashi-sensei, will you maybe…?"

But Naruto was to be disappointed yet again, because Kakashi already walked off with a concealed smirk and a mumbled, "Now I know what it's about."

END

1: Kill a blonde ferret? Totally stole that from the "Amazing Bouncing Ferret"! You'll get it if you read Harry Potter.

2: Incase you couldn't get what was up with all the mangled accents, Sasuke is mostly terrified that his Naruto will change.

Truthfully, I was rather disappointed with this one, it sounded much better in my mind.

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