Hitsugaya examined himself in the mirror, frowning at his reflection. He was dressed in black slacks and suit jacket with a dress shirt that had been ironed a little too much, topped with a ridiculously oversized bowtie that was nearly choking him. He thought he looked silly and even younger wearing this hideous suit, like a checkerboard with all the contrasting white and black. The only that stood out was his eyes. He figured Yuuki would probably laugh at him if she could see him. However, it was custom to dress in black for funerals. With a slight sigh, he undid the bowtie and threw it to the side, unbuttoning a few buttons on his shirt, feeling a little less constricted. He stared at himself in the mirror, still thinking he looked strange but at least better than before. He would at least look presentable.
He was told that he had been in a near delirious state of mind, when he had been forced to separate from her body. He had been told that he was screaming her name and calling out for Orihime to save her, for the medical squad to arrive in order to revive her. He only vaguely remembered Yumichika and Matsumoto restraining him, trying to calm him down while Ikkaku and Renji were forced to detain Ichigo. He had heard Yumichika whisper a should-we-knock-him-out? But that was all he had heard, for apparently, he had blacked out on his own.
Urahara had arrived to take care of the body. Make it seem like an accident, and it made him sick that people would lie about her death, but still, he knew that it was perfunctory, part of the protocol anytime human casualties occurred.
A quick knock on the door jarred him back to reality, and he promptly dropped his gaze from his reflection.
"Ready?" Matsumoto called.
He opened the door slowly, revealing himself with a grim expression. He was only going to endure this horrible outfit just once. Only for Yuuki. He heaved a sigh and muttered, "Yeah."
Matsumoto observed him closely. He looked much worse than she had thought, his eyes sunken in from lack of sleep, a duller shade than normal and his face was hollow and sickly looking. Even his skin lacked that healthy glow he always had. "Are you sure about this?"
He took a step forward and gave her a slight nod. "Of course."
Matsumoto reached her hand out, and for a moment he considered taking it. When he remained impassive, she dropped her hand, feeling sheepish. "Just don't worry too much, okay?"
"How can I not?" He answered softly, stuffing a hand into his pant pocket.
"She'll be okay in Soul Society."
He turned his head, staring at the ground. How could he not worry when she wouldn't even remember him?
---
"Hey." Ichigo called, his face stricken with depression.
"Hello." Matsumoto greeted back, forcing a smile. "I hope it hasn't been too hard on you."
Ichigo forced a chuckle. "My little sister died. What do you expect?"
Hitsugaya watched with indifference as the two had a conversation, though it was an awkward one. He shifted his gaze towards the cemetery, feeling a sickening tug at his heart. He even vaguely considered if she would rather have been cremated. He didn't know. They had never spoken of such things. He smiled bitterly to himself, wondering how much else he didn't know about her. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see Ichigo staring glumly back at him.
"It's time." Ichigo answered with a pained expression. When Hitsugaya didn't answer, he added. "The memorial service."
They made eye contact for a minute or so, slightly frozen in the moment, both seeing each other's pain, an almost brotherly understanding passing between them. Hitsugaya was the first to break the silence and he answered, "Yeah."
The three of them walked in grim silence, the only sound was their shoes clicking along the tiles as they made their way through the funeral home's main hallway to the service area. Hitsugaya watched as others grouped together, girls who were probably Yuuki's friends, crying in each others arms. They passed a group of parents, and he caught small bits of their hushed whispers.
"...they say she was in a car accident!"
"Oh that poor girl…"
"…only 12 years old..."
"… found by her brother, lying on the street…"
"A hit-and-run?"
He turned away, feeling disgusted for their speculation on her death. She died, what more was there to it? With an inward sigh, he followed Ichigo and Matsumoto into the room. A few pairs of eyes turned to stare at them, but he didn't mind. Every other person seemed to be preoccupied, whether it be whispering amongst themselves or crying. Everyone seemed to sense the heavy atmosphere.
He was about to sit in one of the very back rows, when he felt someone grab his elbow and pull him back. Surprised, he saw Ichigo staring back at him.
"You should sit in the front." Ichigo mumbled, when he saw the confused expression on Hitsugaya's face he quickly explained. "With the family. My dad wants you to. We all want you to."
Hitsugaya glanced at Matsumoto who gave him an approving nod. He excused himself and slipped by her, to follow Ichigo to the front. He felt awkward, torn out of context, as more and more eyes stared at him, probably wondering who he was and why someone they had never seen before was going to sit with family. He neared the front row, making brief eye contact with Karin, who remained impassive. He passed by her to sit by Isshin and straightened out collar to busy himself. He felt nervous.
Isshin slipped something into his jacket pocket. He reached inside to unveil the heart hairpin that Yuuki had cherished so dearly. He felt his throat constrict, and for a moment he wondered if he was going to tear up, instead he gave him a curious glance, but Isshin just clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving him a sad smile as if ushering him to have it. He just smiled faintly back, feeling a small bit of comfort. He peered over Isshin's shoulder to see Yuzu crying uncontrollably by her father's side.
"We are gathered here to say farewell to Yuuki Kurosaki, who is now in the loving hands of God."
Hitsugaya listened vaguely as the priest spoke out, and he felt uneasy at the prospect of Yuuki's afterlife. Where in Soul Society had she been reborn? What if she was alone somewhere in Rukongai? His gaze drifted from the priest to the casket, which was laid open. He felt his heart drop.
He didn't know how much time had passed, but soon everybody was rising. He stood, feeling disorientated. Ichigo pushed him along, and Hitsugaya slowed his pace to let him pass. They stood on the left side of the casket, and for a brief moment he wondered what she would look like. They stopped short, just a little ways from the casket, and Ichigo who was to his right, turned to face the front. He mimicked his actions.
With a bit of fascination, he watched, as everybody else stood, row by row and walked down to the casket. A lady he figured to be an attendant at the funeral home gave them each a carnation, and one by one, each person approached her. He peered to the side as the very first people made their way through the Kurosaki family, shaking hands.
He saw the first person coming towards him, a woman he had never seen. Mascara tears ran down her face, and yet she reached her hand out and he awkwardly took it, pumping it up and down in a robotic motion. He didn't know what any of this meant. Many strangers came up to him, offering their hand, in which he took each time and watched for a split second as they returned to their respective seats. He figured it was a motion of sorrow, of apology for their loss. He felt eerily out of place as stranger after stranger approached him, most gave him a nod, many whispered an apology and few glanced at him strangely. He only recognized a handful, and they were his Shinigami cohorts.
As the last person passed by, his arm dropped to his side like a rock. He heard a rustle of clothes and watched as the Kurosaki family turned and walked to the casket, placing themselves in a line at the carnation lady like the people had done only moments before. He followed.
Hitsugaya watched as Isshin, the first of the family to approach her, placing the carnation inside the casket. He inferred that family would place it inside. He saw him lean down to whisper something secret in her ear, as he took a hold of her hand and brushed her hair to the side with his fingers.
Yuzu followed next, approaching it in such a timid manner that he couldn't help but wonder if she was going to break down. Her small body shook with sobs, as she too, placed her carnation inside.
Karin copied her twin sister's actions, though she was not crying. Her face remained impassive, unfazed as she mechanically reached down to place the flower inside. For a moment, he couldn't help but wonder why she was so indifferent. She spoke briefly, words he couldn't hear and watched in silence as she nodded her head in some kind of final goodbye.
Hitsugaya took a few steps forward, watching Ichigo's back. Ichigo took a few large strides towards the casket, where he grabbed onto her hand. He could see tears visibly streaming down his face, probably uncaring of who saw. Ichigo leaned down towards her, whispering and stroking her cheek. It was then his turn.
Hitsugaya stumbled forward; he was the last to approach her. Feeling increasingly out of place, he tried to calm his nerves as he felt the many pairs of eyes boring into his back. He took the carnation wordlessly, and for a moment he marveled at how purely white it was. He stepped forward, and he knew, he felt the hush fall among everyone as they watched him. Wondered about the unknown boy who had sat with family, like he was one of them. He approached the casket slowly, feeling his heart plunge at the sight of Yuuki. She looked like she was sleeping, but she was too pale. She was wearing a pretty dress with a conservative collar, to which he figured was to cover her wounds.
Timidly, he searched a spot to place the flower, feeling awkward. But still, he found a suitable place, near her heart, and placed it inside. He swallowed and reached to grab onto her hand.
It shocked him at how different it was. Cold and lifeless, like every ounce of warmth had been sucked out of her. He had figured he was going to cry, but was mildly surprised to find that he couldn't. He tightened his grasp on her hand, blocking out everyone who was staring. He didn't care anymore. Slowly, he leaned down towards her, and faintly whispered.
"I love you."
---
He was just passing by the restroom facilities, when he heard crying coming from the women's restroom. They were so pained and heart wrenching, he didn't know what to do. He considered passing, but when he heard it suddenly subside, and then footsteps drawing near, he just stumbled backwards. He watched as the door opened, as someone who he figured was probably one of Yuuki's friends stepped out, rubbing at her eyes with her fist. He recognized the dark hair immediately.
Karin.
She looked at him in surprise, mouth hung open as if she had just been caught committing a crime. She hastily rubbed at her face, forcing the tears to stop. "You didn't see this."
He nodded in compliance. "Yeah, okay. Are you okay?"
Karin stepped by him, before replying, "Yes. I am fine."
"You don't want to talk about it?" He questioned, feeling like he was invading her personal space.
"I was mad at Yuuki. Before she died." She answered coldly, faltering for a moment before continuing, "I yelled at her after that game. I blamed her for… for you not wanting to… you know. I was a jerk and I didn't speak to her. In fact, I haven't spoken to her since that incident. And now I can't speak to her ever again." She turned to face him, a great sadness in her eyes. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"
He turned his head, feeling ashamed. He didn't know what to say. He took a deep breath, wondering what Yuuki would say at something like this. And slowly, he started speaking. "Yuuki loved you. I'm sure she won't let a mistake like that make her think of you less. I'm sure she understood, I know she understood."
"Yeah." Karin agreed, glancing at him for a moment.
"You should clean up. People will know you've been crying." He gestured vaguely with an arm at the people who were already staring, and she nodded.
"Thanks." She whispered, before disappearing back into the restroom.
---
"Toushirou!"
He heard someone call his name and turned sharply, to see Karin standing there. He was surprised to see that she looked normal again, but the sadness was clearly expressed in her eyes. He stopped walking, and let Matsumoto and the other Shinigami go ahead of him, for tonight they would probably be returning to Soul Society. Feeling awkward, he gave her a small nod. He watched with a confused expression as she briskly made her way over to him and grabbed onto his hand. He wanted to pull back, but she had a firm grasp. She unfolded his hand and gave him something squishy and closed his hand over it. She let go, and he felt his arm drop smoothly to his side, fist clenched.
"I think she would have wanted you to have it." Karin explained quickly. "I better go, my, uh, friends…" She motioned vaguely to a group of kids whom Hitsugaya recognized to be her soccer buddies, standing awkwardly by the door.
"Okay." He answered dully, and gave her another nod. And quietly added, "I'm sorry."
She turned to look at him for a brief moment, before returning in the direction of her friends. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault." She paused for a few seconds before adding, "It was an accident."
He nodded again, and watched as she made her way to her friends. He saw them turn and glance at him with surprise, heard them whispering.
"…isn't he from the game?"
"Why's he here?"
"…he was her boyfriend, you idiot."
"…oh."
"I didn't know that!"
"… well, that's what I heard!..."
He saw Karin turn sheepishly towards him, giving him one final parting nod. He lifted his hand to wave, only to realize that he was still holding that thing. He opened his hand slowly, eyes widening in surprise.
He stared at the glittery heart that he had bought for her, and could almost hear her cheerful voice.
'Remember, you won't regret it! I promise!'
He smiled sadly to himself, silently agreeing. He would never regret it because he loved her.
---
A/N: Well, that's the end of it. There were so many directions I could have taken with this story, but I knew that in the end I would have ended this with Yuuki's death. Realistically (as in within the anime), I don't think it would be really possible to have a relationship between a human/shinigami, thus I concluded that this was the way to go.
I have, however, left the doors open to a sequel (which many of you guessed…) and have a vague idea of how I'd approach it. I still have to work out the main ideas of the plotline, so it may be some time before the first chapter is released. Please put me on your author alert list if you would like to know when it comes out. : )
I would like to thank everyone who have faithfully reviewed for Promise, it was really uplifting to read everyone's opinions and words of support. I hope that the sequel will receive your attention as well.
REPLIES:
erina:
I'm surprised someone noticed. Matsumoto's sword breaking Gin's
was never explained, but it will be in the sequel (that's all I'm
revealing!) Thank you so much for your continuous support, I really
enjoyed reading your reviews, erina. : )
Ishhyy: I am so sorry I made you cry… but be happy, because there actually is a sequel being written! Thank you very much for your reviews for Promise.
Slothy Girl: Maybe that will happen, but maybe not. I am glad that you liked the previous chapter. Thank you for reading my fanfic. I really appreciated it!
b a y o – b a y o: When I was writing the part where they were talking to each other, I felt so horrible, I felt like I was going through it myself (because I'm the writer). XD Thank you again, for all your support.
OcGoddess: Eek, sorry. No jokes here. Thanks for reviewing!
Broken angel neko: Thank you so much.
Bloody-Ribbon: I can't reveal anything, haha. But thank you for reading and reviewing.
Feather's Shadow: Wow, thank you: )
Aikou: You guessed it. Thanks so much for your review!
GBAgentOtaku: Seriously, your reviews make me crack up. They're so cute. Thank you very much for reviewing for my story.
TideDrop: Aww, I feel honored. Thank you very much.
NeverGoodbyeRoxas: I swear you must be in my mind or something, because you seem to pinpoint exactly everything I try to get across. Haha, thank you so much for all your reviews, I really enjoyed reading them!
Megomi: Thanks so much for your reviewing!
Tsi-chan: I'm on it. Thanks again!
Once again, I would like to thank you all for reading Promise.
Get ready for the sequel: )