I dunno, I was bored. This is an alternate universe story in which Ranma and Ryoga's curses are reversed. Probably not a very unique topic, but oh well. I'm not sure what the pairings will be, who'll show up, or just how long I'll continue this. If you like it, review. If you hate it and think I should stick it on a floppy disk, magnetize it, grind it to dust, and throw it in the river, review. If you don't really care but feel like saying something, review. I want to know if anyone reads this stuff. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Just in case you're wondering, I'm not Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own Viz. I don't own anything related to the two. This is just a silly fanfic. If you sue, you won't get much as I've spent most of my money on manga.
***
Soun Tendo sat staring at a postcard, tears in his eyes. How he had waited for this day to come! Finally, the Saotome and Tendo schools would be united! He reread the letter, just to make sure he didn't misread something. No, it was all the same. They should be here today!
"Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"
***
Kasumi glanced up from the stove, wondering what it could be now. It was unlike her father to disturb her while cooking. Oh, well. It had to be important, she concluded as she turned off the burners and hurried to where her father was sitting.
***
Meanwhile, Nabiki looked up from her manga, obviously annoyed at the interruption. Closing her book, she padded down the stairs to see what he wanted.
***
While all this went on, Akane was out jogging. As she turned the corner, she heard her father and sisters calling her name.
"Akane!" "Where is that girl?"
She shrugged and continued into the dojo, where she quickly pulled on a gi and crushed a few cinderblocks barehanded, then turned around, only to run into Nabiki.
"There you go again, Akane. No wonder all the boys think you're so weird."
"So why should I care? Not everyone thinks the world revolves around boys."
"Oh? Then I guess this wouldn't interest you…"
***
"FIANCEE?!"
"Yes," said Soun, eyeing his daughters nervously. Best not to make them mad, he thought as he saw Akane's fists clench. Even Kasumi looked slightly angry at the idea. "The son of a very good friend of mine. The son's name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry him and carry on the training center, then the Tendo family legacy would be secure."
"Wait a minute!" Akane shouted, angry tears threatening to well up in her eyes. "Don't we have some say in who we marry?!"
"Akane's right, Daddy. We haven't even met Ranma," Kasumi added.
Soun chuckled nervously. "That's easily fixed," he responded.
***
A bolt of lightning lit the sky, followed by a crash of thunder and the soft pattering of rain. Meanwhile, passersby on the street were treated to quite an unusual sight, even for Nerima. A small pig appeared to be stomping on a large panda's head, and the panda was attempting to swat it off. The pig was dodging very well for a swine, but the panda eventually nailed him over the head with a sign that read, "Gotcha!"
The panda slung the pig over its shoulder, growled grumpily at the small crowd that had stopped to stare, then continued to waddle along. The few who remained to watch noted that the creatures appeared to be headed towards the Tendo Dojo. Of course, that was extremely unlikely, they chuckled to themselves. Unless the Tendos were starting a zoo. Oh well, they would find out sooner or later anyway. In Nerima,
secrets didn't last too long.
***
As the commotion ensued in Nerima, somewhere in China…
"Where on earth am I now?" mumbled a tired-looking red-haired girl. She wore a yellow Chinese-style tunic and a matching bandana over black pants with yellow leg binders, and her bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat. "Don't think you've escaped my revenge, Ranma. I'll find you, no matter what. You're gonna die. Yep, Nerima should be just around the corner here…" She half-heartedly glanced at a battered map in her hand. A sudden rustle in the bushes made her jump.
"All right, who's there?" she demanded, whipping out a red umbrella.
"You I kill!"
"Shampoo?! How'd you get to New York?" she shouted, glancing quickly at her map. Yes, Nerima was just to the south of New York and west of Ireland, unless that was Brazil…
"Ryoga! Die!"
Her thoughts were cut short as a bonbori swished past her head. "Eep!"
"Amazon law say Shampoo must kill Ryoga! So hold still!"
Ryoga ducked another bonbori, then dashed around the corner, failing completely to end up in Nerima but succeeding in temporarily losing Shampoo.
"Ranma, this is all your fault!" Ryoga hissed to herself.
***
Akane stared at her desk, sniffing and angrily choking back tears. How could he? Her father had, in an instant, crushed any dreams she might have had of choosing her husband and settling down to have a nice, normal life without the chaos of running a dojo. She pounded her fist on the desk, remembering how she had stood up, shouting at that inconsiderate JERK and run up the stairs sobbing, leaving him in tears, too. Why had SHE been chosen out of the three? Why did any of them have to marry him, anyway? She sighed and stood up. At times like this, she would normally go crush some bricks. Heh, times like this. What times like this? Sure, she had been angry before, but it was always over silly things, like Kuno annoying her or the boys at school challenging her before school. It was always temporarily and could easily be fixed, generally with a few well-placed punches and kicking the offending person into low orbit. Of course she couldn't do that to Daddy. Though he acted like an idiot quite often, she still loved her father.
She heard a quiet creak and turned to face the door. She found a tiny, wide-eyed piglet staring back at her.
"Oh, how did you get here? It must be because of the rain. Here, let me dry you off." She reached out and lifted the creature up, surprised to find it resisting, almost clinging to the floor. She giggled and held the small animal up in front of her. "Poor little guy. Where's your owner, anyway?" She checked but didn't see a tag around its neck. Shrugging, she held it to her chest, causing it great alarm.
"I guess you must be a stray. What's wrong? Oh, I bet you're still cold. Mommy will give you a bath, then. I still have to take mine, so you can come in with me."
The pig didn't look too happy at the thought, but Akane took no notice. She padded into the bathroom and shed her clothes, setting the piglet down. She giggled as she noticed that it seemed to be looking away from her. She quickly washed herself and the piglet, rinsed, and stepped into the furo, dragging the now panic-stricken creature along with her. It flinched as it hit the hot water.
Akane found herself face-to-face with a young man with black hair tied into a pigtail. Totally naked. They stared at each other for what seemed to be a full minute. Then, the silence was broken.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"OWWW! What did I do?!"
"PERVERT!"
"It's not my fault! You made me come in!"
"Get out, get out, GET OUT!"
The young man, now wearing a hastily-acquired bathrobe, dashed out of the bathroom, only to be followed by Akane, wearing another bathrobe and wielding an extremely large mallet over her head. He leapt up onto the ceiling and clung on for dear life, while Akane glanced back and forth and dashed down the hall, seeking the pervert from the bathroom.
He sighed with relief, then dropped silently to the floor. Off to find Pop. He's the one with the pack and my clothes, he thought.
***
"Oh my, what was all that commotion?" asked a concerned Kasumi.
"Ah, I believe Akane has met Ranma," said a strange, bald man who was sitting at the table. His expression was grim. "Hmmm, I wonder if there was a better way to introduce them… Hey, where's my backpack?"
A now fully-clothed Ranma appeared in the doorway just as Akane ran down the hallway, colliding with him and sending them both sprawling to the floor. They both leapt up, and Ranma assumed a defensive posture.
"YOU LOOKED AT ME! YOU PERVERT!"
"Did I have a choice?! It's not like I wanted to! You dragged me in with you!"
"Who are you, anyway?!"
Ranma stopped and glanced at her, looking startled. "I'm Ranma Saotome," he said, bowing nervously. "Sorry 'bout this."
Akane stopped in her tracks. Ranma Saotome? Her fiancé? This PERVERT?!
Nabiki could see her sister's battle aura glowing around her. 'This should be interesting,' she thought. Too bad she didn't have time to take bets. Judging by his relative calmness, though, her money would've been on Ranma. Her little sister may have been extremely powerful when she was angry, but she wouldn't be as accurate. Ranma looked like he'd be hard to hit. 'Of course,' thought Nabiki as Ranma got creamed by the mallet, 'I could be wrong.'
***
Ryoga looked over her shoulder nervously. Good, Shampoo wasn't there. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Now, to get some hot water.
She dropped her backpack to the ground with a loud thud. As she opened the compartment where she kept the kettle and the heater, she glanced at her map. "Huh," she said aloud. "I knew I messed up somewhere. How could I have missed it? To get to Nerima, I go east at Zaire, not Ontario!" That sure simplified things a lot. Now, for the matter of where she was now…
Ryoga removed the lid from the kettle and felt the water. "Finally," she stated. "Warm enough for the transformation." She poured the kettle's contents over her head, negating her bizarre curse. Well, now *his* bizarre curse.
He ran his fingers through his thick brown bangs and straightened his bandana. He stood up and placed the kettle and burner into his backpack, then heaved it onto his back. It was much easier to carry as a man, since he weighed so much less as a girl. He took one final look at his "map" and pointed straight ahead.
"Nerima must be this way! Ranma Saotome, prepare for my revenge!" With this, he dashed ahead. Right past a sign pointing in the other direction. A sign that read, "This Way to Nerima - 20 m."
***
End of Part 1
Comments? Suggestions? Flames? Death threats? Review!
Disclaimer: Just in case you're wondering, I'm not Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own Viz. I don't own anything related to the two. This is just a silly fanfic. If you sue, you won't get much as I've spent most of my money on manga.
***
Soun Tendo sat staring at a postcard, tears in his eyes. How he had waited for this day to come! Finally, the Saotome and Tendo schools would be united! He reread the letter, just to make sure he didn't misread something. No, it was all the same. They should be here today!
"Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"
***
Kasumi glanced up from the stove, wondering what it could be now. It was unlike her father to disturb her while cooking. Oh, well. It had to be important, she concluded as she turned off the burners and hurried to where her father was sitting.
***
Meanwhile, Nabiki looked up from her manga, obviously annoyed at the interruption. Closing her book, she padded down the stairs to see what he wanted.
***
While all this went on, Akane was out jogging. As she turned the corner, she heard her father and sisters calling her name.
"Akane!" "Where is that girl?"
She shrugged and continued into the dojo, where she quickly pulled on a gi and crushed a few cinderblocks barehanded, then turned around, only to run into Nabiki.
"There you go again, Akane. No wonder all the boys think you're so weird."
"So why should I care? Not everyone thinks the world revolves around boys."
"Oh? Then I guess this wouldn't interest you…"
***
"FIANCEE?!"
"Yes," said Soun, eyeing his daughters nervously. Best not to make them mad, he thought as he saw Akane's fists clench. Even Kasumi looked slightly angry at the idea. "The son of a very good friend of mine. The son's name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry him and carry on the training center, then the Tendo family legacy would be secure."
"Wait a minute!" Akane shouted, angry tears threatening to well up in her eyes. "Don't we have some say in who we marry?!"
"Akane's right, Daddy. We haven't even met Ranma," Kasumi added.
Soun chuckled nervously. "That's easily fixed," he responded.
***
A bolt of lightning lit the sky, followed by a crash of thunder and the soft pattering of rain. Meanwhile, passersby on the street were treated to quite an unusual sight, even for Nerima. A small pig appeared to be stomping on a large panda's head, and the panda was attempting to swat it off. The pig was dodging very well for a swine, but the panda eventually nailed him over the head with a sign that read, "Gotcha!"
The panda slung the pig over its shoulder, growled grumpily at the small crowd that had stopped to stare, then continued to waddle along. The few who remained to watch noted that the creatures appeared to be headed towards the Tendo Dojo. Of course, that was extremely unlikely, they chuckled to themselves. Unless the Tendos were starting a zoo. Oh well, they would find out sooner or later anyway. In Nerima,
secrets didn't last too long.
***
As the commotion ensued in Nerima, somewhere in China…
"Where on earth am I now?" mumbled a tired-looking red-haired girl. She wore a yellow Chinese-style tunic and a matching bandana over black pants with yellow leg binders, and her bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat. "Don't think you've escaped my revenge, Ranma. I'll find you, no matter what. You're gonna die. Yep, Nerima should be just around the corner here…" She half-heartedly glanced at a battered map in her hand. A sudden rustle in the bushes made her jump.
"All right, who's there?" she demanded, whipping out a red umbrella.
"You I kill!"
"Shampoo?! How'd you get to New York?" she shouted, glancing quickly at her map. Yes, Nerima was just to the south of New York and west of Ireland, unless that was Brazil…
"Ryoga! Die!"
Her thoughts were cut short as a bonbori swished past her head. "Eep!"
"Amazon law say Shampoo must kill Ryoga! So hold still!"
Ryoga ducked another bonbori, then dashed around the corner, failing completely to end up in Nerima but succeeding in temporarily losing Shampoo.
"Ranma, this is all your fault!" Ryoga hissed to herself.
***
Akane stared at her desk, sniffing and angrily choking back tears. How could he? Her father had, in an instant, crushed any dreams she might have had of choosing her husband and settling down to have a nice, normal life without the chaos of running a dojo. She pounded her fist on the desk, remembering how she had stood up, shouting at that inconsiderate JERK and run up the stairs sobbing, leaving him in tears, too. Why had SHE been chosen out of the three? Why did any of them have to marry him, anyway? She sighed and stood up. At times like this, she would normally go crush some bricks. Heh, times like this. What times like this? Sure, she had been angry before, but it was always over silly things, like Kuno annoying her or the boys at school challenging her before school. It was always temporarily and could easily be fixed, generally with a few well-placed punches and kicking the offending person into low orbit. Of course she couldn't do that to Daddy. Though he acted like an idiot quite often, she still loved her father.
She heard a quiet creak and turned to face the door. She found a tiny, wide-eyed piglet staring back at her.
"Oh, how did you get here? It must be because of the rain. Here, let me dry you off." She reached out and lifted the creature up, surprised to find it resisting, almost clinging to the floor. She giggled and held the small animal up in front of her. "Poor little guy. Where's your owner, anyway?" She checked but didn't see a tag around its neck. Shrugging, she held it to her chest, causing it great alarm.
"I guess you must be a stray. What's wrong? Oh, I bet you're still cold. Mommy will give you a bath, then. I still have to take mine, so you can come in with me."
The pig didn't look too happy at the thought, but Akane took no notice. She padded into the bathroom and shed her clothes, setting the piglet down. She giggled as she noticed that it seemed to be looking away from her. She quickly washed herself and the piglet, rinsed, and stepped into the furo, dragging the now panic-stricken creature along with her. It flinched as it hit the hot water.
Akane found herself face-to-face with a young man with black hair tied into a pigtail. Totally naked. They stared at each other for what seemed to be a full minute. Then, the silence was broken.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"OWWW! What did I do?!"
"PERVERT!"
"It's not my fault! You made me come in!"
"Get out, get out, GET OUT!"
The young man, now wearing a hastily-acquired bathrobe, dashed out of the bathroom, only to be followed by Akane, wearing another bathrobe and wielding an extremely large mallet over her head. He leapt up onto the ceiling and clung on for dear life, while Akane glanced back and forth and dashed down the hall, seeking the pervert from the bathroom.
He sighed with relief, then dropped silently to the floor. Off to find Pop. He's the one with the pack and my clothes, he thought.
***
"Oh my, what was all that commotion?" asked a concerned Kasumi.
"Ah, I believe Akane has met Ranma," said a strange, bald man who was sitting at the table. His expression was grim. "Hmmm, I wonder if there was a better way to introduce them… Hey, where's my backpack?"
A now fully-clothed Ranma appeared in the doorway just as Akane ran down the hallway, colliding with him and sending them both sprawling to the floor. They both leapt up, and Ranma assumed a defensive posture.
"YOU LOOKED AT ME! YOU PERVERT!"
"Did I have a choice?! It's not like I wanted to! You dragged me in with you!"
"Who are you, anyway?!"
Ranma stopped and glanced at her, looking startled. "I'm Ranma Saotome," he said, bowing nervously. "Sorry 'bout this."
Akane stopped in her tracks. Ranma Saotome? Her fiancé? This PERVERT?!
Nabiki could see her sister's battle aura glowing around her. 'This should be interesting,' she thought. Too bad she didn't have time to take bets. Judging by his relative calmness, though, her money would've been on Ranma. Her little sister may have been extremely powerful when she was angry, but she wouldn't be as accurate. Ranma looked like he'd be hard to hit. 'Of course,' thought Nabiki as Ranma got creamed by the mallet, 'I could be wrong.'
***
Ryoga looked over her shoulder nervously. Good, Shampoo wasn't there. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Now, to get some hot water.
She dropped her backpack to the ground with a loud thud. As she opened the compartment where she kept the kettle and the heater, she glanced at her map. "Huh," she said aloud. "I knew I messed up somewhere. How could I have missed it? To get to Nerima, I go east at Zaire, not Ontario!" That sure simplified things a lot. Now, for the matter of where she was now…
Ryoga removed the lid from the kettle and felt the water. "Finally," she stated. "Warm enough for the transformation." She poured the kettle's contents over her head, negating her bizarre curse. Well, now *his* bizarre curse.
He ran his fingers through his thick brown bangs and straightened his bandana. He stood up and placed the kettle and burner into his backpack, then heaved it onto his back. It was much easier to carry as a man, since he weighed so much less as a girl. He took one final look at his "map" and pointed straight ahead.
"Nerima must be this way! Ranma Saotome, prepare for my revenge!" With this, he dashed ahead. Right past a sign pointing in the other direction. A sign that read, "This Way to Nerima - 20 m."
***
End of Part 1
Comments? Suggestions? Flames? Death threats? Review!