Author Ranko's Knight
I don't own Detective conan, Someone whos name is so comical I cant remember it does…
A little Soliloquay with a short story inside it..
… If I get some reviews it will probably have a whole story written describing the events leading to it…
What I can never ask…
Conan chan's 10 year's old now he plays so happily with his friend's the Junior detective league
He's recently started to reacquaint himself with his old Sherlock holmes novel's, and is even studying the basic's of detective work…
It was decided after the car accident that I would be told everything… about the apotoxin, his reason for not telling me everything… I still remember Ai's cold tone as she explained it all…
I was furious at him and his group of conspirator's but as Ai quickly reminded me… it was unproductive to be angry at Conan… the chance of him ever meaningfully recovering his memorys was almost negligible… he'd need a parent, to discipline him and protect him.
And I was probably the best person for the job…
His own parents seriously contended it was their right… but in the end his father convinced his mother that I could probably provide a better environment for an amnesiac child…
It was uncomfortable, to say the least, for the first 3 or 4 week's knowing the little boy who had once, always been wandering off and getting himself into dangerous situations , had in fact been my childhood friend, who I had hoped to make my boyfriend…
And I'll confess I watched almost paranoid the first time or two I took a bath with him after that to see if he was looking at me lecherously…but….
But their was nothing at all but the innocent gaze of a child…
I've come to love my Conan-chan every bit as much as I loved Shinichi, that's the truth… but I find myself wondering at… what I might have had with Shinichi.
And sometimes I find myself Crying at night… not because Shinichi is missing and will only contact me at rare interval's but because the Shinichi I knew, is dead…
"Nee-chan, Nee-chan" Conan-chan yelled as he ran into his surrogate mother's room
"Why are you crying nee-chan?"
Ran tried to wipe her tear's, she had to show her Imoutoko, almost her Musako that she was strong…
"I'm fine Conan-chan I was just thinking… about Shinichi."
"Ooooh" he said understandably
"The man who you were in love with… the man who died 2 year's ago?"
She nodded
"Yes Conan-chan… that's exactly him… I really loved Conan-chan… I havent fallen in love with anyone else sense then… and even if I do… I'll never be over shinichi."
Conan frowned…
Since his amnesia 2 year's ago he had built a solid identity for himself…
His Biological Mother Fumiyo was so often out of the country she only occasionaly had time for him though she positively doted on him when she was around, but he felt towards her as most boy's would to an aunt…
Maybe he'd get closer to her when he could join her overseas.
But for now… he needed to be here with his Ran-Neechan
He had joined the local soccer team… and was even showing some interest such as violin music, Shinichi never had.
But he had had little experience with romance, beyond Ayumi's insistence she was his girlfriend, and occasional sad look's from Ai.
"I don't think I understand romance Mommy"
:he blushed at the slip of his tongue:
"I'm sorry… it's just that…"
:she shook her head: "I understand Your mother's not arround that much… but please, don't call me that too often, ok, if she was to think I was trying to replace her…"
:he nodded:
She smiled, and was happy, that this time, it was a REAL little boy who heard her word's
"You won't always thank girl's are gross Conan when you grow up you'll find a girl you like"
"well their's two girl's Ayumi-chan… and sometime Habuara-san seems interested in me"
Ran nodded
"Now Conan-chan… you have a test tomorrow at school, so scoot yourself back to bed now"
It was the decision of Habuara Ai, when it was determined kudo Shinichi simply wasn't going to regain his memorie's, without an incredibly unlikely stroke of luck, or a scientific breakthrough, that was only slightly more probable, that under no circumstances, until he was a man grown to his full measure, and with a steady career of his own, was he to be told the truth of his origin.
I understand the logic… but I have to wonder…
Is this what Shinichi felt?
While at first I was angry, I have to wonder… did he feel sad, awkward, and uncertain as I do, being forced to lie to someone who you love, with all of your being, for their own good knowing they would likely feel terribly betrayed if they ever discovered the truth…
I can only imagine how my little Conan would feel if he discovered the truth… he would probably feel just as violated
"Is that why you kept scolding me for bragging, you always said Shinichi was selfrighteous , is this your way of bringing him down a peg?" "You kept me as a memento of your lover, didn't you… Ran-Neechan… I thought that you loved me!!!" I imagine among a host of a thousand other accusation's…
A part of me still has to wonder if he enjoyed the situation of listening to all my secrets and bathing with me, though he always seemed uncomfortable in them…
But what Shinichi felt….
That is….
That is…
That is…
What I can never ask…
Hope this isn't too angst filled for you all…
A question for any reviewers is why precisely Shinichi's parents might have decided not to take custody of little conan… some more ideas on how to make it look good would be appreciated…