Note: As you all know, this is yaoi. If you don't like it or whatever, then please don't read.

Disclaimer: -sniff- D.Gray-man doesn't belong to me. Mou, I wish I did. All of us wish we owned the series XD; So sad for us fans. At least we have our imaginations 8DD! –for me, it's still not so good enough-

Okay, so.. I've had this for awhile now.. Um, yeah. It's cause I moved and stuff a month ago but I got a bit lazy. Hahaha.. Till Pay Backs a Bitch said that I owed her to update this story cause I bugged her to update "Moyashi" I think I nearly felt a death glare when she said to update it.

THE BITTER AND THE SWEET: DISCUSSION ROOM, VOLUME ONE!

Kanda: What the? What am I doing here? Where's the stupid bean-sprout?

Yuuan: You're here to reply the people who have reviewed this story so far, Kanda! And Allen's a bit busy right now with Lavi.. If you know what I mean that is.

Kanda: -twitch- WHATT?! –is ready to un sheath Mugen right about now-

Yuuan: HAHAHAHA, oh I'm so sorry Kanda. I'm just kidding, you know that I'm a fan of you and Allen. I will NEVER put Allen together with Lavi.. well.. maybe intended but never like, really, together together.

Kanda: How'd you know about that?!

Yuuan: I'm the author of this story, stupid. I'm the one that writes this stuff 8D Which means, I can control what you and Allen do. With ME knowing it 8D; Aren't I evil? Now, REPLY TO THOSE REVIEWERS BEFORE I MAKE YA!

Allen: Ano.. Yuuyuu-san.. Can I please borrow Kanda for awhile? I need to talk to him. –slight blushing and playing with his thumbs-

Yuuan: Aww! That's such the cutest thing! Of course you can borrow him Allen! But you better bring him back cause I'll need him! –pinches Allen's cheeks- You're so adorable that I can't resist!

Allen: -nervous laugh and grabs Kanda's hand and walks away with him- Come on Kanda, I need you to help me with something! –smiles-

Kanda: Oh thank god, you're my saviour bean-sprout.

Yuuan: -is all alone- Wait.. There's no body else here but me.. Oh mah gawd, this means, the discussion room is over! Grrr, Allen distracted me as he took Kanda away! God damnit all.

DUE TO KANDA AND ALLEN MISSING, THE DICUSSION ROOM HAS ENDED.

Now, minna-san, let's continue on with the chapter!

Arigatou gozaimasu!

0.1

All night, Kanda was bashing his head on his bedroom wall. For once, he can't think straight. He bashed his head again, earning him a much redder forehead with slight bleeding. God, this is so PATHETIC! He thought. Actually, he felt really stupid.

'I'm not gay. I'm not gay.' Kanda kept on chanting to himself, 'I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay. Oh dear lord, I'm not gay.'

'Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that..'

'Who the fuck are you?!'

'I'm you, who else jackass?'

'Did I just call myself a jackass?'

'See, you are stupid.'

'Shut up.' Kanda groaned deeply, he's going to lose his mind any minute now.

'So, you like the bean-sprout. What's wrong about that? I mean, it seems kind of obvious.'

The swordsman hissed as he walked over to his broken painted glass window, "I don't like the bean-sprout. And of course there's something wrong with it even if I DID like him. Reason one, we're both guys. Reason two, I'm sure that Allen doesn't like me. Reason three, I can never get along with him. Reason four, I am NOT gay."

'Man, you really are an idiot. Love knows no bounds my dear self. If you think Allen doesn't like you, then you are more oblivious than I thought you are. And you two seem to get along pretty well since the other day. Thus, I say that you ARE gay. If you weren't, then you wouldn't hit on poor little Allen so much, stupid.'

"Did I just get lectured by my conscious? And why the fuck am I talking aloud to myself? Damnit, I think I am losing my mind." Kanda placed a hand on his forehead and shook his head slowly, "For the last time, I ain't gay! I don't like the idiotic moyashi!"

'Sure, whatever. Trust me, I'll prevail. And do us all a favor.. Don't act like a total seductive horny bastard in public with Allen. It'll just tell people even more that you are a friggin' homosexual and you'll embarrass Allen so much that who knows what might happen.'

"Just leave me alone! For fuck sake, just GO!"

'Now I see why people are scared of you.. well, myself.'

Kanda growled at himself. Signaling for his, um, other voice to go away.

He looked out the window, "Please god, just kill me now why don't you?" The swordsman got up and walked into his bathroom, closing the door shut behind him as he turned on the cold shower.

The sprinkles of water poured onto his face.

He felt a jolt of pain in his head, "Damn, my head hurts.. Probably just banging my head to the wall too much.." Kanda then began to hear some faint voices at the back of his head, but he ignored it, figuring that it's nothing.

'Take the thrill of slowly breaking him..' said that faint voice, but the swordsman didn't understand or probably he was just imagining things.

0.2

Rhode grinned as she watched Kanda from her mirror, "That Yuu is so stubborn. He isn't listening to the thoughts I'm implanting in him! Oh well, it'll get through him soon enough!" She cackled as she took a lick at her giant lollipop.

Tykki appeared from behind her, "What are you doing, Rhode?"

The little girl just turned to him and smiled wickedly, "I'm just playing around with my doll's thoughts. I want him to have some fun with your boy exorcist first then break him at the very end. Oh this will be so much fun, Tykki!"

The tanned man raised an eyebrow at her, "Alright.. Just don't do anything rational to Allen, or else, no candy for you for 3 months."

Rhode whined as she jumped on his back, "Mou! That's so mean!"

Lero just sighed as he followed the two as they ran down the hallway, "Mistress Rhode is getting too attached to that man. The Earl of the Millenium won't be so happy.." He flew into the dining room to find the Noah family sitting, eating dinner. Rhode was telling him about her new "toy" and the Millenium seems to be amused by it rather than angry.

The pink umbrella sweat dropped, "I guessed wrong.."

The Earl clapped his hands, "Bravo, bravo my dear Rhode! Are you having fun with him?"

Rhode giggled as she ate down her ice cream, "Yes! I'm having great fun from playing with his emotions and thoughts. I want to break that little lover of is, bit by bit. What do you think, Millenium?"

He whipped his mouth with his napkin, "Yes yes yes, what a great idea. I'll let you have your fun." The girl squealed and jumped on him, sending him back from his chair, "Thank you Milly!"

The Millenium Earl chuckled, "Don't break Allen Walker too much. You know on how much Lord Tykki Mikk loves him, don't you?" Tykki's brow twitched as he heard Debitto and Jasdero laugh about it, "Man! You two are ridiculous!" laughed Debitto, like a mad man.

"Shut up Debitto."

"Why don't ya' make me?" He held out his toy gun and swung it around his finger.

The man held out his hand, a butterfly landing on it, "Don't make me use Teeze on you."

The twins just laughed, falling off their chairs, "Oh! I'm so scared of a little butterfly!" They mocked. Skin just punched them on the heads, "Let me eat my sweets!"

"Sweet-tooth faced jerk." Muttered Tykki, sitting back down.

"Let's just be all one happy family, my dear Noah's!" said the Millenium Earl. A long black haired woman tapped her lips with her napkin, "You are so immature, even you, Master."

"Lulubell, lighten up! Want to play with my doll?" asked Rhode, still having her arms around the Earl's tall hat. "No, I think I'll pass." Lulubell replied, "I have things to do. Come on Mimi." A little girl in a maid outfit came running beside her, "Hai! Madame Lulubell!"

0.3

Our young favorite exorcist, Allen Walker, just innocently made his way down the hallway. Trying to look for his golden companion but instead, he seemed to have gotten lost. After a year or so of serving to the Dark Order.. He STILL gets lost in this place!

He wailed, "Nyaaaahh! Where'd my room go?!" Allen started to panic, "Why does these hallways and doors have to look the same?!" Does that remind you of anyone?

The white haired boy stopped as he heard a loud bang and crash coming from an experiment room at the science department hall. He went to check it out. That's the only place he seems to know how to get to for some reason when being lost..

He rushed and ended up crashing into a hard surface.

Allen fell over, "Itai.." His hand rubbed his forehead.

"Oh! Allen-kun! It's nice to see you up and about!" a voice rang cheerfully. Allen looked up to see a very.. happy.. yet very evil looking science department chief, Komui. Suddenly, the boy felt a shiver up his spine. Something bad is going to happen, especially when that smile is on the Chinese man's face.

"Y-yeah.." Helping himself up, a mechanical eye went directly to his face. He squeaked in surprise as he stared at the robot, "W-what is this thing?"

Komui grinned and raised a thumbs up, sparkle in his eyes, "This is Komurin IV! He's a beauty, isn't he Allen-kun?! I think he's the best yet!" That alone, made Allen go stiff and sweat drop.

'Great, just what we need, another Komurin..' thought the young exorcist, running his deformed hand across his hair in annoyance, "Are you sure it's a good idea to let that loose, Komui-san? What if he destroys something? Linali is for sure going to kill you with her Dark Boots."

The man just gave him a laugh, "Of course I'm sure it's safe! I checked him over and over and over! He's program and built is completely flawless!!"

'Doubt it.'

Komui happily jumped onto the crook of Komurin IV's neck, with a victory head band tied to his forehead. He pointed his index finger to who knows where, "Let's go Komurin IV! Let's go help our friends down at the Science Department!!" Komurin glew and quickly rushed off to the science department, leaving Allen alone.

"W-wait! Komui-san! Which is the …" The large robot was already out of sight, "way to the quarters.." Allen sighed and walked gloomly, "I think I'm going to die.."

0.5

Hours and hours flew by and Allen still couldn't find his room anymore. Could he be this stupid? 'At least nothing bad happened yet with Komui's Komurin.' Just as he said that, another loud banging and screaming of, "Supervisor! You reckless idiot!" stated otherwise.

A raging Komurin went running straight for Allen, "Must capture and destroy! Must capture and destroy!" It chanted as it seems to be targeting the white haired exorcist for a moment. Allen let out another squeak and ducked for his dear life. Komurin knocked him over to the wall.

Reever and the others came rushing to his aid.

"Allen! Are you alright?" asked the Australian scientist, helping the younger boy get up by the arm. Allen rubbed his head again, "Man and I thought Komurin was out to get me.."

He stared at the others, "What did happen to Komurin anyway? He seemed fine hours ago.."

Johnny nervously laughed, "Well you see.. He was fine till Supervisor Komui got way too excited about the success of his new invention and kind of, flung coffee over his arm and it hit into a leek, kind of melt functioning Komurin. The first thing he saw was a picture of Kanda in one of our files and suddenly started to destroy things and rushed out to seek Kanda going, 'Must delete Yu Kanda! Must have Allen Walker for self!' "

Allen fell over anime style.

'That's so stupid!' He thought.

Komui came into the scene, "No! My precious Komurin! Someone, help me get him back!" The Chinese man wailed. He then felt a gloomy and dark aura coming from behind. He turned his head and smiled, "Oh! Allen-kun, will you help me--------"

BONK!

The supervisor got hit in the head hard, "You got a robot to fall in love with me and now it's after to destroy Kanda! Stop it with your crackpot inventions for the sake of us all!" A vein or so popped on his head, his fist shaking with anger and rage.

Johnny whispered frighteningly to Reever, "Allen can be scary.."

They all backed away from Allen's dark aura.

"I can see that.."

Soon enough Allen got back to normal and yelped, "Oh no! I got to warn Kanda!" He left for the other direction, leaving an unconscious, huge lump on head and swirly eyes Komui on the floor.

"Allen-kun is evil.." He mumbled.

0.6

Kanda turned off the shower.

Yes, he took a shower for hours. He was that lost in his mind.

He grabbed a towel and began to dry his hair and boy with it. Stepping out of the tub, he tied the white towel around his slim waist with a brush in his hand. Kanda opened the door and he sat on his bed, starting to brush his wet long hair.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have long hair." He said to himself, getting pissed at the tangles.

'If you didn't have such long shoujo hair, Allen wouldn't think your that sexy.'

'Dear fucking lord, not you again.'

'Hey, that's not a good way to greet me.'

'Fucking goof.'

'Stop swearing. It's a bad habit. By the way, shouldn't you return Timcanpy to Allen by now? I'm sure he's looking for it.'

'Not in my life time. That damned golem annoys me, plus, it gets way too friendly with his master. It irritates me.'

'Aw, your jealous of a golem. How cute.'

'Shut up. I ain't jealous.'

'You so are. Your jealous of Timcanpy cause he's ALWAYS with Allen, snuggling next to Allen wherever, even to when he sleeps. Face it, your jealous of a rock.'

'I am NOT. For fuck sake. It's just too life like for it's own good!'

'Jealousy, what a wonderful thing. And amusing at the same time!'

'Shut the fuck up before I---'

Kanda couldn't finish fighting with his subconscious because a crash just came into his room, startling him and not giving him enough time to even grab Mugen to kill the thing that went in then everything just went black on him.

"What the hell?! Where am I?!" The raven haired exorcist started to smash and bang against the walls that surrounded him. Okay, today was just NOT a good day for Kanda. Now he's even more pissed off and would kill the person responsible for barging into his room and abducting him.

Allen was just on his way, hearing the crash.

He stopped immediately as he saw Komurin in front of a destroyed room. The boy figured it was Kanda's room.

"Change of priority. Change of priority. Must embarrass Yu Kanda. Embarrass Yu Kanda" It chanted, eye glowing red and the sign on top of the door lit up saying, 'Starting operation'. Allen could hear the uber loud banging and threatening death threats coming from inside.

"Yup. That must be Kanda."

Allen lifted up his deformed arm.

"Innocence, invocation! Crowned Clown!" His whole outfit changed and his left hand turned into black pointed sharp claws. He was about to charge at the robot till he was knocked over by a crying Komui, "NOOO! Allen-kun, you octopus!!!"

Wow, Komui is strong.

Allen was being smothered by the man, "I need to save Kanda!"

"Iiya! Yada! Yada! Yamete!!!!!" Komui ended up smothering him more, nearly cutting off the poor boys air supply. "Supervisor! Stop that! Your going to kill Allen!"

"I want to save my poor baby Komurin from this dreadful octopus!!" He took out a bamboo stick. It looked like a blow pipe.. Wait, don't tell me that--! Too late, Komui injected a needle to Allen's neck, making him go numb.

"Wai.." The white haired exorcist's Innocence returned back to it's normal form, and his eyes we're half open. "No more, strength to move.."

Lavi and Linali came rushing into the scene.

"You guys! What's going on!" demanded Linali, staring at her older brother who seemed to have crushed Allen completely to the floor.

"Nii-san! Get off of Allen-kun!"

"B-but—Linali! He might destroy my precious Komuri—"

Linali kicked him on the head with her activated Dark Boots, over and over, with a very scary rapid pace. Ouch, that must hurt. Komui was whining, "Linali! How could you do this to your poor brother!!?"

"I'm doing it cause innocent people will become victim to your ridiculous schemes, Nii-san! Mou.." The girl whined while her so called older brother cried like a baby. Lavi looked around, "Speaking of which, where's Yuu-chan?"

"SOMEONE BETTER GET ME OUT OF HERE OR ELSE!!"

"Yep. That's him." Lavi activated his hammer and charged at the large robot. He whacked it and whacked it till it eventually got wrecked and broke down.

"Lavi! Lavi! That's enough! You might crush Kanda-kun too!"

The orange haired boy laughed nervously, "Woops." Kanda popped out of the rubble with an angry look on his face and many vein pops appearing on his head. Someone's going to die today..

"You guys are so DEAD!" He roared, completely stepping out. At first, everyone was scared because of the dark murderous aura coming from the swordsman but then.. they laughed. That just made the raven haired exorcist even madder.

"What the fuck are you guys laughing at?!" Kanda demanded an answer.

Lavi's jaw was dropping and his eyes got replaced with hearts.

Linali put a hand over her mouth, slightly giggling or maybe really laughing.

Reever and the others just stayed way way way back. Hoping that the angry exorcist won't be able to see them and possibly kill them.

Allen was just half awake before but now, he was FULLY awake. His eyes as wide as well, wide can be. "Oh my god.. Kanda.. your.." He held his nose, trying to prevent a huge nosebleed coming on, he can feel it.

Kanda looked down on his self.

"What. The. FUCK!?!?!?!?" Instead of his clothes, he was wearing a tight black leather frilly dress. And it's freaking SHORT. Then he began to touch his hair.. Oh no they didn't.

THEY DIDN'T.

Frilly.. ribbons.. we're tied to his hair.. with BRAIDS.

NO ONE COULD DO THAT TO HIS HAIR. NO ONE.

"Why am I—Who's responsible for this?!??!?!?!" Everyone stood out of the way and pointed to Komui, who was trying to hide behind Allen. "Don't get me involved!" said Allen, trying to get away but the man's grip on him was hard.

Kanda stepped out and took a look at his room.

It was in rubbles.

"Komui…" He said darkly and dangerously. The swordsman grabbed Mugen, which was on the floor and unsheathed it, pointing it at the older Lee brother, "You die today." Before anyone could say, 'um' Kanda was already starting to chase Komui all over the hall.

"Come here you damn bastard! You destroyed my room, trapped me in a fucking robot and dressed me up in a dress?! I SWEAR, YOU WILL NOT BE MOVING FOR MONTHS TO COME!"

"Whoot! Nice panties Yuu-chan!" Lavi whistled as Kanda's short skirt was flying about, showing what's underneath. Immediately embarrassed, the swordsman stopped and pulled down the skirt, "Fuck this skirt!" He looked around, seeing the bean-sprout trying to hold his nose.

Is he getting a nosebleed?

"I'm sooooo sorry Kanda! I'll fix your room! I promise!" said Komui, begging for the swordsman's mercy. He was already kneeling on the ground, he was that desperate not to be killed by Kanda.

"The fuck you will! But where the hell am I suppose to sleep?!"

Komui looked around, he smirked as he laid eyes upon a blushing and nose bleeding Allen Walker, "Well, Allen's room is available.. You can stay with him for a while Kanda!"

Just now, who knows how much dirty thoughts and images flooded into the raven haired exorcist's head. Both exorcist's got a HUGE and MAJOR nosebleed.

'SHARING A ROOM WITH KANDA/MOYASHI?!' Both thought.

For Allen, it's almost like a dream yet a nightmare.

Same goes for Kanda but hell he was thinking of evil things. He whacked his head, "Just someone.. get me some PROPER clothing."

"Aw, Yuu-chan, can I keep the panties?" asked Lavi, grinning and laughing.

"THE FUCK NO."

"Then the dress?"

"NO."

"But Yuu-chan, your so sexy in it! Can I take a picture!?"

"Hell NO!"

"Oops, too late. I just took one."

Score for Lavi the future Bookman!

Kanda groaned in annoyance as he slapped himself on the face. 'God truly loves to make fun of me like this doesn't he?' His eyes got set upon the really blushing red white haired boy, who was mumbling things to himself.

He felt his lips turn from a scowl to a smirk,

'Maybe it won't be so bad.'

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Oh my god, I'm soo sorry for this being late but here it is now!

Sorry for it being a little crackish, I couldn't really think of anything else for now.

Please forgive me!! Especially you Shawnie.

Well, read and review! Thank you!