Disclaimer: I dont own anything apart from the plot

Thanks: To Harmonic Friction who beta-ed this whole story.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harry James Potter sat alone in bedroom. The walls were decorated as though it was a child's nursery and not the room of a young boy. In the room, there was a four poster bed which had holes in the curtains that surrounded it. The quilt was clean but it had many holes. There was a large wardrobe backed against the wall. There was a currently blank portrait on the wall that occasionally held people.

Sounds were echoing across the room. It seemed that a party was going on in the house for laughter could be heard clearly. The sounds of children happily playing echoed around the dark room. It may seem strange to you to find a child old alone in his bedroom when there was a children's party going on downstairs, but unfortunately this was not unusual in the Potter household. Especially if the child was Harry.

The young boy sat slouched and tears stains marked upon his small face. His brilliant green eyes were red-rimmed and he held a razor in one hand and a note in another. He was deep in thought trying to get the courage to face the pain. In his mind the benefits are worth the pain.

Finding a child alone with a razor may be a little shocking, but you see, Harry had a mission. He knew now that his mum and dad didn't like him-- they liked his brother Jay. He didn't know why, but they never hugged him nor kissed him good night nor told him that they loved him and many a time he was left alone the house elves took care of his basic needs. But they didn't give him affection because good house elves were not to be seen or heard. They kept their little master alive-- that was their job. Harry desperately wanted the love of his parents. He knew that it must be his fault. Harry had searched and searched his memory for what he did. If he could just apologize, everything would be all right. At least that was what Harry thought.

He recently found away to find out why his parents hated him!, Quaffle, Jay's dog died and he overhead mum telling Jay about heaven. She said that Quaffle would be watching over him and then Daddy said that his parents who had died some years back were watching over all of the Potter family because that's what the deads' jobs were and they would be waiting for anybody in the family when they died. Harry had spoken to his grandparents' portraits. They liked him and told the house elves to give him biscuits! So they must know what he did and they still liked him.

It was then that he decided he was going to die, and see his Grandparents. Then he'd come back and say sorry and everything will be okay. After remembering a conversation he overheard some months ago about a lady who cut her wrist with a razor and died he decided to do that. He wrote a note to explain where he was because that's what his dad did when he went out before his mum woke up, so taking a deep breath and
tried not to call out, Harry Potter took the razor blade and slashed his wrists.

He gave a little cry and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain and hoping that his grandparents told him what he wanted to know.

"Thank you for coming!" said Lily Potter for what seemed like the hundredth time that night as the guests of her son's birthday party left. The birthday boy had fallen asleep still holding his "Paddy Doll" and now only the boys' uncles Moony and Padfoot remained.

"What a party! Too bad Jay-Jay couldn't stay awake," her husband James commented as he put his hand through his hair, giving a smile.

"Yes!" she agreed and turned to her husbands friends "Sirius, Remus? Why don't you stay? I'm sure Jay will want to see you in the morning."

"All right Lily! The little bugger would want his favorite uncle to be here when he woke up!" grinned Sirius with easy nonchalance.

"I'm wouldn't want to impose, Lily", the softest spoken marauder added.

"Nonsense, Moony! Ol' Prongie and Lily won't care".

"We wouldn't Remus! And since when did you speak for me, Sirius Black?" smirked Lily with twinkling eyes

Sirius pretend to look abashed. "Oh come on, Lily! You know I love ya! Wouldn't dream of speaking for you but you did agree."

Lily just rolled her eyes in response.

"Quiet, you lot Jay's still asleep!" They all looked sheepish and James continued to pick up the presents, levitating them to the corner.

"I'll stay if you want me to," whispered Remus. Lily just rolled her eyes but all of a sudden she went cold all over from her stomach to the ends of her hair. Something was wrong. She looked to Jay who was sleeping peacefully, lightly snoring. She frowned in confusion.

"Something wrong, flower?" asked James, who had noticed her expression.

"Nothing, James I'm fine!" Forcing a smile to go with her words, she wondered what was wrong? All the people she loved were in this room and they were fine… so why did she feel this way? Suddenly it was like light bulb went off in her head: Harry!

"Where's Harry?" she asked quickly and cursing herself for not remembering him before.

"In his room," James voice was uncertain, though. He went in to say something else but he was cut off by Remus.

"I thought he was ill? I assumed since he wasn't at the party and it's his birthday as well."

The feeling was getting worse and without a word to her confused husband and suspicious friends she walked up the stairs and turned right at Harry's' door. She knocked and opened it, thinking she was just being silly, yet she couldn't convince herself of it. She wondered as an after thought why she hadn't thought of her son at all on his birthday. The room was dark and she couldn't see a thing.

"Lumos!"

In an instant, the room was illuminated and Lily screamed.