Disclaimer: Come forth kiddies and hear a tale…about some unlucky yet lovable punk who gets into some deep Shit. I don't own the characters. Oh well, what a blow.

Well kiddies, here is chapter two of problems. What will happen? I myself don't know. As I write this I make it up…by the end I will be just as surprised as you are. Fun!

For those who didn't realize it I am sorry but anything italicized means that it is thought not said. Bold is for emphasis or when whenever I just feel like using it. Deal with it.

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Chapter 2: Naruto's Super Special Awesome day that turned out to be not so super special awesome.

Naruto was annoyed; very. Yesterday had been a pain in his balls. As he walked down the street of everyone's favorite village he couldn't help but remember yesterday's little confrontation. Ino and Sakura had gotten into a catfight with each other that had drawn the attention of every male within a three mile radius. What was worse was that soon Hinata and Temari were drawn in…clothes had been shed and men had fainted…Jiraiya was pleased…Naruto, well he didn't really care because it gave him just enough time to get away. He even got to loot some of the ramen while everyone was paying attention to the fight.

Well, enough of the reminiscing he had stuff to do, taking out his list of things to do. He made a quick run through of everything that he would have to do:

Make sarcastic remarks about the insanity of life and the current insane situation with Sasuke of all people as hokage. Sidenote: I don't know what took a bigger blow, my pride, or the village's future, or possibly the future of every boy under the age of 14. God help them.

Go to training area Number A to meet Sasuke for a fight that Sasuke has called me out for. Sidenote: Remember to tape ass cheeks together as a precaution after all he did leave the village and went to a sexually confused hermaphrodite for who knows what. Training? I don't think so.

Do something about the current Yaoi problem that is going on around the village. Fangirls have taken over recent shops in the town center and are creating a Sasunaru fanclub/empire. Sidenote: What the Fck?! Where the hell do they come up with this? I would rather someone tie me up and spank my balls than take balls up the ass, especially from Sasuke. Bottom-line the Fangirls must be dealt with.

Hang out with Shino, Shikamaru, Fatty, dog boy, and my main man bushy brows and wreak havoc across the town and loot the Uchiha district for kicks.

Whatever floats my boat from there?

Possibly make fun of the old farts in the council and annoy them should the chance come up.

Conquer the world.(eventually, but it will happen)

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Naruto was on his way to fight Sasuke and was leisurely walking to the training ground. Usually he went out for walks to calm his mind whenever he was having trouble dealing with his life. In all honesty it was kind of a kick in the ass for him. Naruto chuckled at the absurdity of the last five years. When Naruto came back from training he was stronger yes but still the ugly duckling everyone thought him as, imagine his surprise when he came back to find his female teammate having an affair with Kakashi of all people.

Yes, it was true. Sakura had blossomed into a beautiful woman as well as most of the girls of the rookies. She at only fifteen was already eye candy for the men of the village. She had been involved with Kakashi and Naruto found out the hard way. He would never forget that moment. Of course, neither of them had known that he was there since they were too busy with their activities to take notice that he was there. It was even more of a frustration when Sakura eventually broke off with Kakashi and started being courted by Sasuke once Naruto managed to bring him back. Naruto had hated it and spent a while cursing his life. She had been screwing the rest of the team but never once looked his way. He had been 17 and naïve at the time, he was twenty now.

After he finally got over it Naruto's personality began to drastically change, life had finally caught up to him. He became sarcastic, cynical, and focused. It came to everyone's surprise when slowly and discretely he began to distance himself from everyone. A year later Naruto barely even hung out with his friends at all. He was Anbu then. Anbu had been both a blessing and a curse. The Anbu taught him how to be self sufficient and taught him what true teamwork was all about. A year later at 19 Naruto was taken off of Anbu by the old lady because she believed that he was "overworking" himself. It was that same year that he began to hang out with his friends again. What really confused him though is what began to happen when he turned 20. All of a sudden it was as if his whole life had been turned upside down and logic was thrown out the window. At 20 Naruto was sarcastic, cynical, and apparently the object of affection for almost every kunoichi he knew along with about every village girl his age and even some older.

Naruto hated this fact, he even found it ironic. Years ago he would have craved for this kind of attention but now…he wanted nothing to do with it. Naruto had let go of the past and left it there where it belonged, he could honestly say that he no longer loved his teammate Sakura, no longer resented the fact that she never looked his way, no longer resented the fact that everyone always liked Sasuke more and thought him better, and he no longer cared that Kakashi had always favored Sasuke. Although Sasuke had been trying to get close to him lately and rekindle the friendship they supposedly once had, and Kakashi was trying to get closer to his student that had gone astray and left them all in the past. Though Naruto was doing his best to avoid them all, honestly people like them were just too troublesome to deal with.

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This was annoying; very annoying. Here he was at the training ground with a ridiculous name and not only was Sasuke there but just about everyone else he knew and some he didn't. What the hell was this? A party? He knew it wouldn't be long until someone would start talking and he would be forced to go along for the ride.

"Naruto, brother it is time we see who was truly worth the title of Hokage. I know you are upset but I want to make it up to you with this fight between rivals, friends, brothers."

"………you realize that we are not brothers don't you?"

"Yes, but the bond that we hold has always been special."

"What bond?"

"The bond of friendship and brotherhood that we shared as children with a similar past and now share as men."

"……you rammed a chidori through my chest."

"Yes and it was a time like that when the bonds that tie us together were tested."

"I don't like you."

"Huh?"

"Sasuke……you piss me off."

"Let's face it dude, you threw whatever friendship we had going in my face tried to kill me and then ran to some sexually confused hermaphrodite for who knows what then you spout some bullshit about being an avenger and whatever. Dude, you're a dick."

"But…I…wa-"

"Blah, Blah, Blah, let's fight."

"Naruto whatever happened between us can't be changed but I will show you that our bonds are still there with this fight."

'What is this fool smoking? Not only is he delusional but he doesn't realize that I don't want anything to do with him anymore. Plus I'm so sure he is gay that I would never be able to turn my back on him.'

The fight was intense. Both knew well over a thousand techniques and were definitely skilled, but it became clear after only ten minutes of fighting that Naruto was in a league of his own. After only ten minutes Naruto didn't even look winded, hell it looked like he was holding back for Sasuke's sake.

"Okay, this is boring and Sasuke is annoying. I am over here fighting emo-child over here when I could be somewhere else making comments on the hypocrisy of man and the current issues that are causing this world to rot do to the instability and arrogance of the human mind."

"Hey, pay attention to the fight, I am not a hypocrite."

"……………you want to kill your brother……………you say you are not like him……………and yet you hurt those close to you blinded by arrogance, hate, and other emotions that cause you to do things that are no different from Itachi. You are the strangest person I have ever met because you are always contradicting yourself. I have no fucking clue why people like you so much. I guess this world is just in love with angsty emo-children who go around on hopeless endeavors and accomplishing them only to find that in the end they became just what they claimed to be fighting against, further falling into a pit of despair you created for yourself instead of learning. For a person who is supposed to be a prodigy you're no different from the rest of the ignorant population."

"That's deep……how the hell did you come up with that? You're Naruto."

"Again, to believe that people have a set character is a childish thought. To believe that someone will always be the same is foolish and ill-bred. Life happens, people change. As life takes us on a proverbial spin it is only natural that we grow and become different from what we were before. It is elementary but apparently you all don't seem to understand that."

"I will beat you and prove you wrong."

"This is stupid, there is no point to this; I have nothing to gain from this. I'm leaving."

With that Naruto began making his way off of the training ground as he turned his back to all of the people and began to walk off without so much as looking back. That is until he heard an all too familiar voice scream out to the heavens.

"Super Special Awesome Dynamic entry!" yelled Lee as he came crashing into the ground in front of Lee.

"You know you can just come up to him like a Normal Person." Replied Shikamaru as he made his way to Naruto and Lee.

"Ah, but what would the fun in that be?" chimed in Kiba riding on Akamaru as he made his way toward them.

"(Munch), hey Naruto. (Munch), great job putting Sasuke in his place, funny stuff back there, funny stuff," Replied Chouji as he nearly choked on his chips from laughing.

"Ah, if it isn't my partners in crime, funny thing that all of you just happen to follow me because I require your assistance."

At this the other men couldn't help but look at each other with surprise. Naruto never asked anyone for help. For him to actually ask them for help meant that he trusted them and had to take on something he couldn't handle himself.

"Gentlemen, at exactly 08:00 Today I received intelligence from the Jiraiya stating that a new menace has arisen that may very well cause complications for all of us in the near future. This menace cannot be left to grow, already they multiply and breed. If they are left to themselves than it may very well be the end of us. Men as we go out there today to fight know that you may die. However know that if you die La Resistance lives on."

At this somber declaration the other men could not help but give involuntary shudders at the possibility of such a powerful enemy.

"Who is it Naruto, who is it that we must defeat?" asked Chouji with fear lacing his voice. The words laced with so much fear that it gripped the lungs of the others in a vice.

"Yaoi fangirls."

The field was silent as the words sunk in. Each man on the field contemplating the horror that the yaoi fangirls could unleash upon the world. Shikamaru couldn't help but shudder at the thought of yaoi fangirls, he was lucky that they were too busy trying to pass off Naruto and Sasuke as butt buddies. With Sasuke he wasn't too sure, Naruto, never. Naruto would rather be skinned alive and left to rot then take it up from behind by Sasuke. Naruto would do a lot for his friends, well he liked to assume he would, Naruto would go as far as taking a kunai for them, but he definitely wouldn't take dick for them. You could only do so much for a friend, and taking it up the Hershey Highway wasn't in the deal.

"Gentleman surely you understand the severity of this situation which is why I have decided to unleash a full scale onslaught against them. There will be no mercy. I will need your cooperation in this as we take on the menace that is yaoi fangirls. It will indeed be a glorious day when men such as us won't have to fear them, that said, thank you and good day."

With that Naruto made his way off the field and toward the village leaving his friends to think things through. He had to admit it was a little funny how he took it so seriously but hey, give yaoi fangirls an inch and they take a mile.

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He had nearly forgotten. He had to go see Sakura, oh joy. He had been injured on his last mission due to carelessness and the old lady had a fit about it. Naturally being as caring as she was she had him go make an appointment to get a physical with Sakura…who he really didn't want to see if he didn't have to.

This was not good, here he was standing in front of the hospital and he prayed to God that lightning would just strike him down where he was so he wouldn't have to go inside. He had been avoiding his old teammates like the plague and he really wasn't in the mood to have to deal with any of them. As far as he was concerned they were just those people that everyone has to put up with but don't want to, joy.

He made his way inside as he felt the eyes of some of the nurses on his being. Why did they have to stare? Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Hadn't they done enough to him? Apparently, they had not.

Naruto sighed as he made his way to Sakura's office, screw the receptionist he was pissed off as it is. He stood in front of the room the door becoming all the more intimidating as the seconds passed, he didn't want to do this.

"Hello, Naruto."

She knew. She knew that he was coming and she had been waiting for him. All of a sudden he couldn't help but feel trapped, women, go figure. There she stood with her pink hair, a tank top that showed some cleavage, and a pair of shorts that just had to be too tight. Why was she dressed like this was she exercising? He shouldn't care, it didn't matter as long as they got this over and done with.

"ugh." He only gave her a grunt in return.

"You know you could make a better effort to talk to me."

"ugh." She would probably get annoyed but he didn't care.

She sighed. He was doing it again, he was avoiding her. It had been going on for a while. He had been distancing himself from team 7 as well as the rest of the rookies. They hadn't spoken much and when they did she always ended up doing most of the talking. It didn't help that they were hardly ever alone either.

"Please talk to me."

"hmm."

"You can't avoid me forever, Naruto."

"I can sure as hell try."

"No, hate is pointless I just prefer not to be around people like you because they only cause damage, and are more trouble than they are worth."

"Did I hurt you Naruto?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Did I?"

"I told you it doesn't matter there is no point in bringing up the past it belongs in the past and it should stay there." He replied sharply.

This was getting annoying, he didn't liking where this was going. He hated talking to them enough as it is but he especially hated talking about the past. The past always had a way of coming back and screwing him over.

"Please, can we just get this physical over with."

"Alright please take off your shirt and sit down so can check for any problems."

Naturally he complied. The faster he did what he was told the faster he could leave and go home. Sakura gently traced his body with her hands checking for anything that may be wrong. She used her chakra to scan his body and found nothing. She paused and took a good look at him. He wasn't looking at her, instead he was looking at the wall. Did he find the wall more interesting than her? She didn't like that at all.

She gently traced her hands over his shoulders, he was truly beautiful. He always had been. She knew she shouldn't do this, she knew he wouldn't like it, but she needed him. She had needed him for a long time now.

Naruto had no idea why his exam was taking so long. She should have been done by now but she wasn't. He was about to turn around and ask when he finally found out what was taking her so long. He felt a warm sensation on his shoulder, she was kissing him. Her lips giving his shoulders a gentle caress and he shuddered. He wanted to say stop but apparently she had taken his shudder as a sign of desire. She closed her eyes and gently traced her lips over his skin making her way to her lips. Her hands made their way to his hair as she played with his hair. She looked him in the eyes and he saw her desire, her need.

She saw his eyes and she couldn't help but shudder at their beauty. They were so captivating so wonderful that she couldn't believe that she had never noticed it before. She leaned in for a kiss. She closed her eyes, but was shocked when she felt him pull away, he had broken the embrace. It hurt, he didn't want her. He could have had her, but he didn't want her, and it hurt a lot more than she could have ever thought. She wanted to ask why but before she could they heard a knock on the door.

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Well that was chapter 2

I didn't type as much and I know this chapter is shorter but hey, what can you do?

If I get more reviews I might write more, or I might not, whatever.

Well Read and Review, or don't, that's cool too.

Chapter Three might come out sooner or later, we'll see.

-Elmer Beckett