Not a Chance

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for some sexual content, violence and language. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SLASH (male on male)!! Ye be warned

Author's Note: so this is my first HP fic, and it takes place in the Marauder's era… … Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes, well, it centers on the Marauders, mostly Remus and Sirius, but with a little side story probably with James and Lily. Review if you like, don't read if you hate…enjoy! Not sure if this will be one-shot or no…ehh, we'll see how I feel at the end.

p.s. – Sirius is a little OOC, but meh…its cuter this way.

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CHAPTER ONE: Not Possible…Ever!

Sirius Black paced the floor of the common room. This couldn't be happening…not to him. He was Sirius Black! The Sirius Black! He had one-night-stands with women, perhaps a date or two, he didn't have…feeling for people. Especially not-

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" said a calm, level-headed voice from the portrait-hole. Sirius knew that voice, had listened to it almost every day for the past six years.

"Nothing" he replied shortly. "Thinking."

Remus Lupin felt his brow furrow. Ever since they had gotten to Hogwarts, ever since he had embraced Sirius after the entire summer apart, much as he had done to James and Peter and Lily and others, Sirius had been distant, and downright rude to him.

"Pad-"

"I said it's nothing Remus!" snapped Sirius, pausing in his pacing to glare at the brunette boy standing opposite him. Good call, he told himself as he saw the look of hurt flicker over his old friend's face before being immediately replaced by stony indifference. Push him away and he'll eventually not even want to be in the same room with you. Brilliant plan.

Sirius tried to silence the sarcastic voice that often retorted to his more stupid actions, but it was like trying to catch wind; harder than it sounded.

"Fine then. Sorry to have bothered you" said Lupin in a flat voice before turning on his heel and leaving back through the portrait hole he had just stepped into.

Sirius stood, irresolute for a moment, before an overwhelming voice in his head shouted for him to follow Remus, and so, he did. He caught up to him at the end of the corridor, shouting his name and running along in his friend's wake. "Remus! Wait! Don't make me jinx you!"

That caught Lupin's attention. He turned and the two faced one another. "What?" said Lupin in the same flat voice.

Sirius had to try not to flinch. The word assaulted him like an ironclad fist and his pride immediately shot back up. "Look" he said quietly, tamping down the pride. No use being cocky now or it would all be an utter and complete waste of time. "I'm sorry I snapped alright? I've just…had some things on my mind lately."

"Like what?" Remus replied. His voice sounded marginally less cold and it heartened Sirius immeasurably.

"Just…thoughts…" Mooney continued to stare when Sirius didn't elaborate. "I've just…had some conflicting emotions lately is all."

"Well Sirius, you know I'm your friend. You can talk to me about anything…you know my deep dark secrets," Lupin said brightly.

"This is different."

"How so, Padfoot?"

Sirius found himself studying the brickwork on the wall just over Remus' right shoulder. "It's…I have feelings for…someone."

Lupin was so shocked, he had no control over the laughter that bubbled up inside him and spilled out. Sirius looked affronted. "Go ahead, laugh then. Some friend" he snapped, whirling around to stalk away.

"N-no…" Remus choked over his laughter. "Pads…Sirius, I'm sorry, it's just-" he reached out and grabbed Sirius by the arm to prevent his departure. "Really, I'm sorry, it's just…not expected is all."

"Yeah well, for me too…" Sirius replied quietly. If that wasn't the understatement of the year, Sirius didn't know what was. No…he couldn't tell him, it was just too weird to admit. And if he did tell, that would mean he would have to admit it to himself too…

"Who is she?" Remus asked, his laughter gone and replaced by a look of helpful curiosity. Sirius looked him in the eyes.

"How long have we been friends Mooney?" he asked. Remus looked confused, but answered anyway.

"Since second year, why?"

"If I tell you something, will you swear, on pain of me hexing the pants off you-" Now there's an idea…"that you won't tell anyone? Not even Prongs and Wormtail?"

Remus looked concerned. "Sirius, I don't think-"

"Do you or not?" Sirius snarled, taking a step towards his friend in the utterly deserted corridor. Lupin took a step back.

"Yes! Sirius what the hell is going on?" he said loudly.

"Shut up" said Sirius, looking around, paranoid. He grabbed Lupin's sleeve and pulled him into the nearest empty classroom, locking the door behind them and casting a silencing charm.

"Sirius, have you been Confunded or something because you're-"

"No!" Sirius hissed. Lupin fell quiet. "I…I'm not like normal people…" he said after a brief pause. Damn, this was going to be harder than he thought.

You think he already doesn't know you aren't like normal people? Give the man some credit…

"I know that Padfoot," Remus replied grinning. He sobered when Sirius didn't smile back. Something was definitely up with him. "Yeah…go on…"

"Well…I, well you see…Mooney, I'm…the person…I…"

"Spit it out!" Lupin cried in frustration and the words, before he realized, came pouring out of him in a rush.

"MooneyI'mgayandIthinkI'mattractedtoyou!" he shouted.

Lupin stared. He hadn't really gotten all of that except 'Mooney' and 'you'. "What? And speak English this time; slowly."

"Mooney…I'm…gay. And I think…I'm attracted to you."

Lupin's jaw dropped and he could only stared. The only coherent thought that streaked across his numb brain was: 'If this is a joke I'm going to kill him…'

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Meanwhile, away from that lonely corridor and the empty classroom, James Potter was down on the Quidditch pitch, his captain's badge shining dazzlingly in the afternoon sunshine, leaning debonairly on his broomstick and relishing the start of the weekend.

"Aw, come on Evans, you know you're crazy for me" he said as his friend Peter Pettigrew and his teammates snickered behind him.

Lily Evans glared up into the arrogant smirk on the bespectacled face and messy hair that epitomized James Potter. He has nice eyes though…not really brown…hazel, that's it. Not that she…noticed, or anything, of course. She tossed her long red hair over her shoulder attractively and smiled sweetly.

"Crazy isn't the word I'd use to describe my feelings for you, Potter" she sneered. "Hate is more like it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would date Severus before I ever dated you."

The comment had been meant to sting and she could tell by the slight flicker in his smirk that it had. His friends made 'oooh'-ing sounds from the background.

She'd rather date Snivellus Snape than me? James thought frantically. No…that was absurd…he was James Effing Potter! Nah…she couldn't possibly mean that…

"Sure Evans, sure. How come you can't take your eyes off me then?"

Now it was time for Lily's friends, who had insisted on coming down to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice, (not that Lily had really put up too much of a fight) to 'ooh' ominously. Lily tried her hardest not to blush…and failed horrendously. Damn it! Betrayed by hormones again!

The thing of it was that he wasn't all that bad to look at. Then he just opened his mouth and she hated him with every fibre of her being. "I was deciding which part of you would hurt most when I hex you" she retorted.

"Sure" said James. "Face it, you love me, so why not just admit it already and go out with me?"

Lily smiled. "I will make you a deal Potter," she said. "If you can go an entire week without pranking anyone, including your ridiculous friends, and without teasing a single soul, I'll go on a date with you."

James, for once in his seventeen years, was shocked into speechlessness. "Y-you…really?" Lily just couldn't help but laugh. He looked so innocent and adorable just then she almost wanted him to win.

Then the cocky grin was back and she went back to loathing him. "Yes, Potter. Good luck, you're gonna need it."

James stared after the fiery redhead as she strode away with her friends. Damn, this bet was going to be impossible.

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"Say something" said Sirius as Lupin merely stared at him. It had been a full two minutes and he was starting to worry.

"You…me…what?" was all Lupin could manage. He stumbled over to a chair and fell into it.

"Are you okay?' said Sirius softly, sitting down across from him. He leaned down to attempt to look Remus in the eyes, as Remus was fixated on the carpet, to no avail. "Mooney?"

Lupin could hardly believe this. Never…ever, not in a million, bajillion, trillion, gazillion years did he ever think Sirius would be gay. Or be attracted to him of all people! "Are you sure?" Lupin asked finally, looking at Sirius, who smiled.

"Positive." Now that he had said it out loud, it didn't seem as ridiculous. It sounded…normal.

"But…all the girls. Sirius, you've been with half the Hogwarts population since third year! I thought…"

"Did you ever wonder why I never stayed with any of them for more than a week? None of them meant a thing. None. I only just realized it's because I don't fancy girls."

"Well you never were the brightest, Sirius, but…and why me?"

This was not something Sirius had seen coming. "What?"

"Why are you attracted to me, of all people? I mean, James is much more attractive than me, and so are a lot of people…and I'm…you know…damaged goods. In more ways than one."

"Are you kidding me?" said Sirius, bordering somewhere between hilarity and incredulity. "How could I ever fancy James? He's my best mate!"

"So am I!" Lupin nearly shouted back. This whole thing was ridiculous.

Sirius disregarded this. "You're different. And as for other people being more attractive, I don't think so. And you aren't damaged goods either! Just because of the problem doesn't mean you're any less of a person to me!"

Lupin couldn't find any words to reply to this. It was touching, to say the least, that Sirius felt that way about him.

"Look, obviously you don't like me in the same way, and I suppose I'll just have to deal with that" said Sirius, rising and moving to the door. "Just thought you should…know."

Remus let Sirius get to the door before saying, "And how do you know?"

He turned and looked at the young werewolf. "How do you know I don't feel the same way about you?" said Remus.

"Mooney, that's ridiculous, there isn't-"

"But what if there is." Lupin had risen and now walked toward Sirius.

Words could not get past the hope burgeoning in his chest and the lump that had risen in his throat. "Y-you…?" he croaked.

Lupin smiled. "I am gay, Padfoot. That's why I never…you know…had a girlfriend. I never thought you would be though..."

"Blimey!" Sirius whispered. "And all this time James and I just thought you were shy!"

Lupin's cheeks pinkened slightly. "That too."

"So…" said Sirius. The conversation had definitely taken an uncomfortable route. "Do...d'you…want to maybe…"

"Sirius Black" said Remus, with a small smile, "are you asking me out?"

Sirius' face had definitely gone several shades darker. He had never felt flustered around someone so much as he did right now. "Umm…"

"Because if you are" Lupin continued, "I accept."

"You do?" said Sirius, his head snapping up. Remus nodded. "Great!" The next second, he looked concerned though. "Would it be okay though, if we…er…didn't tell James and Wormtail for now? Only…"

"It's fine." Remus stepped closer to Sirius. Too close…

Their lips were mere centimeters away. Just then, the door directly to their left and right respectively, opened, and they were five feet apart. Wormtail had come bursting in. "There you are!" he panted. "You'll never guess what James just did!"