Warning: Story Contains Fluid Profanity.

One Piece University

CH1: Pilot

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Robin apologized, rubbing hard the part of her hip that had rammed against the metal table. Friends have always scolded her for her less than safe habit of reading while walking. She was always knocking into people doing such things. But this time it wasn't the intentional run-in she usually did for a job. So immersed in the magazine article, she didn't see herself running into the seated gentlemen at the patio table.

The steel furniture continued to ring and wobbled from its earlier impact. The figure steadied the shaking cup of coffee with a finger, not even bothering a glance towards the apologetic girl. He gave a slight shift, changing the cross of his legs before continuing with the paper. Robin gave a short shrug at the lack of response, silently mouthing "Asshole--" as she seated herself in the only open table behind the man.

"Robin, you sure you don't want coffee or anything?" called the orange haired girl, skillfully weaving between the tightly packed tables of The Coffee Court. "I'm buying-" she offered, showing her purchase in hand.

"Ah, no. Maybe later." Robin answered, absentmindedly patting her empty pockets. She watched her friend plop onto the chair across, who threw a big bag of chips onto the table. "Lunch?" Robin raised an eyebrow in question. "I see the diet's going marvelously,--" she added, eyeing the shiny bold letter on the snapping bag reading: "NOW WITH 50 PERCENT MORE CHEESE!"

"Fucking, diet's off." Nami plunged her hand into the bag. "I think my boyfriend's cheating on me--" Robin shook her head at the offered snack, mouth opened in protest, "I don't want to talk about it." Nami waved her hand, dismissing the concerned look. "Changing subject NOW." she said robotically. Robin shut her mouth and smiled at the younger girl. She knew Nami would bring up the subject when she was ready to talk about it. "When's your next class?" she asked, between bits of chips. "I mean, our class. I keep forgetting you punked me into taking that class too." she muttered.

"I have about an hour of break before Archeology 220: Research and Discovery." Robin cheered, studying the syllabus for the twelfth time that morning.

Nami stared her friend solemnly, "Robin. There is a problem, when fresh paper-- that syllabus, you've printed just hours ago, looks like its survived ten winters." she pointed the wrinkled, fraying piece held in Robin's hand. "There is also a problem when the magazine you bought just yesterday is falling apart from being flipped open every four seconds. And can I please point out that-- its not even a fashion magazine, it's a National Geographic! And it's not a article on--" she paused to formulate a random jumble of words, "I don't know- '10 Ways to Climax Your Way To Beautiful Skin,' that your nose deep in, (Robin shielded the side of her face with the paper in hand as tables around them quieted their topics to overhear Nami's.) its--" she reached, pulling out a piece from the pile, 'Discovering True Egypt'?" she groaned.

"Nami, I get it." Robin hissed from under the paper. "More fashion, work on good skin-- I'll consider it, so please keep it down." she begged in low whisper. The orange haired girl let out a loud sigh.

"Well, your fashion sense is pretty good and you have gorgeous skin anyways." Nami granted with a smirk.

"I never give you grief for your obsession with Geography or how many hours you spend doodling maps." Robin retorted. "It's just, I've never been so excited for a class." a soft look overcame her face before lighting up with enthusiasm. "Professor Saulo was good, but this new professor is an absolute genius! Of course, usually a world renown archeologist wouldn't waste time teaching college students, but they said he's taking a couple months off while waiting for the okay from the Israeli's government for a dig around Golgotha. God, I would give my left arm to go--" The sunglass on Nami's nose shifted when she cringed at the dreamy look splayed over her friends face. Robin shook off the dazed look and continued, "He graduated from this university, so naturally when the dean of the school begged for a favor he agreed. AND he's good friends with Professor Saulo, so when he asked him to fill the semester for him, he flew right over!" Robin gushed excitedly. "The man is brilliant-- He's done so much, and at such a young age-- you know he has--"

Nami held up two chip-greased fingers interrupting her friend, "Blah-blah-blah-- he discovered the real tomb of the 1st Egyptian Pharaoh-- uncovered the lost burial grounds of the Yin Dynasty, hidden underneath the 1st set stone from the Great Wall of China--" rolling her eyes, she plunged her hand back into the bag of chips, "Oh-my-god. PLEASE, Robin. If you rant on anymore about how much you worship this guy-- I'm going to rip off my ears, just to have something to throw at you." she pointed to the side of her head for good measure.

Robin's lips twisted aside at her companion's brutish response. Grumpily, she began re-organizing the small stack of paper in her hands, slamming the pile with childish temper. Nami released a short sigh, "Oh, come on. Only joking--." she tried, nudging her friend apologetically. "I'm just grouchy cause I have another class right before that one and I have to sprint across campus just to make it on time." The taller girl gave a tart smile of forgiveness. Nami laughed and pulled a loose paper sticking out of the pile. "Is this him?" Robin nodded eagerly.

It was the cover piece of this months National Geographic's, Discovered: TRUE Egypt, read the title. The man in the photo must have been in middle of the dig when the photo was taken. He was caught in a side angle, pointing and talking with another archeologist from within a dirt tunnel. He was well-shaded and covered under the black, wide rimmed hat, dark sunglasses, scarf tied protectively over nose and mouth.

"Wow. He's cute." came the sarcastic comment. Robin gave a half smile at her friends joke. "Fuck me, I'm late." Nami scrambled out of her seat. She crunched the empty bag of chips into a ball. "You wanna come on campus?" she asked, searching for a trash can.

"I think I'll just waste time here before class starts." Robin nodded, holding out her hand for the trash. "I'll go early and save us seats." she promised.

"Thanks Robin." Nami hurriedly handed the crumbled bag. "I'll call you after class!" she shouted, running across the street.

Robin released a heavy sigh of relief when her friend safely dashed through the speedy traffic. Stacking the papers together, she pushed to rise from her seat. The steel back of her chair clanged loudly against the one behind. "Sorry!" Robin apologized, realizing it was her second time bothering the same person. The man merely shifted to reach for his coffee, once again lacking reaction. One corner of her lips pulled in a slight sneer at the back of his head as he sipped the black coffee. "Prick." she muffled under lips as she passed by.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Walking through the crowded tables on the patio, she carefully made her way to the trash can. From the corner of her eyes she spied a blonde wave bye to his friends. He was also approaching the wastebasket. He held in hand a finished lunch tray. Robin slowed her walk to match his arrival at the trash bin. The two reached it together, throwing the useless content into the metal bin. She already knew the boy was busy checking her out when he carelessly dumped his books along with the tray. Robin pretended to study the papers on her pile when she knocked into him.

The boys amazing reflexes surprised her. The tangled two did fall to ground, but the blonde had turned it into a safe, controlled fall. "Are you alright?" asked the boy from under.

"Oh, geez. I'm so sorry." Robin laughed, climbing off the grinning figure. "Seriously, I'm such a klutz. I was just reading my syllabus for the new class and-- I'm just really sorry." she smiled.

"No harmed done." shrugged the blonde, still grinning. "Hey-- if your really that sorry, can you make it up by letting me buy you dinner tonight?" he smiled expertly.

"Umm-- You know what?" spoke Robin, continuing her steps away from the incident. "Why don't we put that off for the next time we run into each other." she joked, turning to face the direction of her walk.

"Ah--- Come on-" came the playful wail from behind. "Seriously? Next time for sure though, right??" echoed the voice. Her rolling giggle sounded over shoulder as she walked away. With one hand he patted, confirming the recently emptied pocket. "You promised!" he laughed to the fading figure.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

She waited until turning into the safely of the back corner of The Coffee Court. Such caution was necessary, considering that the Plaza securities usually gathered in front of the store for their noon coffee break. Long fingers quickly rifled though the pile of papers in arm. From the rustle of papers she retrieved a black wallet. "Gucci, nice--" she noted, smoothing the shiny logo in the corner. "Let see what you have here, Mr. Prince."

Her eye's snapped open at the amount of green she found within the flap. She pulled the cash from the wallet, counting the bills with her eyes. "three, four, fiv-- HEY!!!" she shouted, surprised and angry at the figure that had suddenly emerged from behind.

It was the prick from the coffee shop. He stood in front, one hand holding the group of bills, the other, clutching onto the black wallet. "Is this yours?" he asked, flipping open the wallet with one hand.

"So the stone statue can talk." she nodded mockingly. "Yes, it's mine, now hand it over!" she demanded. He ignored her angry words while thumbing through the content of the wallet.

"Are you the president of the 'Bikini Model's Club'?" he asked with amusement. Robin fought the burning blush threatening to melt her skin.

"Yeah, so what if I am?!" she bit back.

"--Men Only"? he flipped the card to show the words.

"I-I'm an exception!" she stuttered. The other raised an eyebrow.

"Are you the card carrying member of 'The Jungle Room: Home of the Hot Exotic Ladies from Around the World'?" Robin chewed her lower lips. "Hmm.. Platinum Member, no less.." he added after further study of the card.

"It's all mine, okay?? So just give it to me--" she swiped for the material in hand, he pulled it from her reach.

"Are you--"

"What are you?! The 'are you' police?!" she shouted "They're mine, goddamn it! Give it to me!"

"Really? Is that so, Ms. Sanji?" he finished, pulling out the blue and silver student ID from the wallet. The idiotic blonde smiled at her from the square of his picture.

"He's my brother." she spoke quickly, grabbing the wade of bills in his left hand. When he didn't let go, she glared at him. She was taken aback at the unusual amber colored eyes. She quickly recovered, pulling to pry the cash from his grip.

"Not much of a resemblance is there?" continued the taunting voice, tapping the ID with the other hand. Robin chewed the inside of her mouth, it was obvious that this man had no intention of returning the item he confiscated.

Robin stepped daringly close, just centimeters from his face, "Just remember you're the one who wanted to make this harder than it had to be." she breathed over his lips. With her free hand she ravaged her hair, twisting it into a frenzied state. "STOP! NO! PLEASE STOP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" The man cringed at the shrieking volume of her voice. With all her strength, she pulled the bills from his grasp. She let her body tumble onto the floor as she quickly stuffed the wrinkled greens into her bra, still screaming all the while.

It all happened in less than 2 seconds. The Plaza securities, who've been fueling on their midday coffee heard the scream from their close vicinity. They rushed into the back ally to find a man standing over a girl thrown onto floor, crying brokenly with her shirt and hair in mess. It didn't take long for them to come to the obvious conclusion. A balding man scooped over to Robin, "Are you alright?" he asked, helping her up.

"You there! Hands behind your head! Slowly!" three more aimed the drawn weapons towards the culprit. Through fabricated sobs, she swallowed thickly at the seriousness of the situation.

"Oh, all this isn't necessary." she sobbed. Her hand rested lightly, lowering the nearest armed weapon. "He's just my ex-boyfriend-- Bob." she added after brief thought. "He's just mad at me for breaking up with him. I don't want to press charges or anything but few hours in the cell might help clear up his mind." she sniffed gingerly. A crowd had begun to gather around the scene. "I don't want anyone I know to see me like this." she whispered weakly to the bald security.

"Of course, dear." he nodded sympathetically. "You go on now, and don't worry about a thing. I'll just take him to the station and make sure he understands that he can't treat you this way." he patted her back in assurance.

"Thank you." she sniffed, wiping the last of her fake tears. She took one over-the-shoulder glance before merging into the crowd.

Most of it was covered and blurred by the large securities movement while cuffing the hands resting behind his head-- but she could have sworn on the glimpse of a smirk resting over the amused lips.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

"Oh, damn it all." she groaned, screening the packed auditorium. From the flurry blur of the room, two figures jumped and waved from the far corner.

"Robin! Over here!" Ussop shouted. Nami and Ussop sat down when they saw Robin climbing the stairs.

"Hey, Ussop." she nodded to the long-nosed boy who was busy fixing a rather large Jamaican themed hat over his head. "Is the professor here yet? The class was supposed to start 10 minutes ago right?"

"Guess he's running late." he shrugged, shifting the hat more to the left.

"What happened to: 'I'll go early and save us seats'?" grumped Nami, moving her bag from the aisle chair she had saved. "We're practically in the nosebleed section."

"I know, I know." Robin begged, dropping into the seat, "But you will not believe what happened after you left."

"Did you do a lift?" Nami whispered excitedly. Robin responded with a stiff nod. "You got away clean-- right??" she worried.

"Yeah, the guy had no idea and he was crazy loaded too."

"But?" Nami twirled her sunglasses anxiously.

"Random, psychotic vigilante found me out and almost took the cash from me." she hastily combed the mess out of her hair. "But I lost him, he should be cooling off somewhere right now. Kinda feel bad." she winked.

"Sure you do." Nami smirked, giving a discreet high-five under the seat.

"Excuse me.. Excuse me--!" boomed a loud voice over the dull roar of the room. The auditorium hushed immediately upon the new addition. Robin's eyes snapped wide with horror as she recognized the figure.

"Oh, my god!!!" she hunched onto Nami's lap. "It's the psycho! He must had gotten away and followed me here!" she whispered desperately. Nami's eyes budged at the information.

"Stay down sweetie." she instructed.

"Please, I hope you'll overlook my lateness-- A rather interesting run-in with a local student kept me from making to class on time." he smiled to the crowd. "I am your instructor for this semester. Pleased to meet you-- I am Professor MiHawk."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Robin felt her heart: spaz, jerk, stop, drop to the floor, before crawling back into place. Robin looked up weakly to her friends horror-filled, shocked face. "Nami--" she begged. "Shoot me, tag me and bury me." she muttered into her lap.

"What's going on?" Ussop leaned, "Are you okay, Ro--"

"Shh--!" hissed the two. Ussop sat back, clearly confused but obedient.

"I must say, it's very kind of Professor Saulo to trust me with such a large class. I don't believe I've lectured in such a grand auditorium before."

"Fucking shit--" breathed Nami.

"What? What's wrong? What's happening?!" cringed Robin, still huddled in her half fetal position.

"Wow, how many flights of stairs till the top? It almost rivals the ones at the Philadelphia's Museum of Art-- anyone here watched 'Rocky'?" he joked, mimicking a rather professional left and right hook. The class answered with admiring chuckles.

"He's coming up-- this way." she informed.

She made up her mind in an instant. One hand swiped Nami's shades from the table as the other yanked the Rastafarian cap from Ussop's head. He let out a thundering: "What the fuck?!" as many strands of hair left with his hat. The polite laughter of early dropped to silence as Professor MiHawk turned towards the outburst. Robin quickly donned the borrowed item onto her person.

"Oh, yeah. Your invisible now." Nami murmured from a corner of her lips. Robin fought hard the urge to kick her friend.

"Is something the matter?" Professor MiHawk asked, approaching the row of disturbance. Ussop looked nervously to the two girls on his left. He had already caught on that there was something wrong with this situation. The gears in his head burned as he fished for the right thing to say when--

"My friend, he suffers from a mild case of Tourette's. First day, new semester, brings out the worst in him." Nami nodded convincingly, patting Ussop's back. Ussop quickly added to the nod of head, confirming the story.

The professor looked from Nami to Ussop, with a strange look in his eyes, "Is that so?" MiHawk asked the Jamaican-hat-sporting, indoor-sunglass-wearing, Robin.

She shifted in seat, nodding ahead while drumming her fingers nervously over the table. "--And you are?" he asked.

The beating fingers froze over the table. "O-Olivia." she swallowed. "Coni Olivia."

"Well, Ms. Olivia. If its not too much trouble, may I ask you to stay for just a little while after class? I just need some help to catch up on where Professor Saulo left off." he tapped the textbook on her desk. Robin gave two weak nods to the floor. "Excellent, thank you very much." satisfied, he turned and headed down the stairs.

"Alright class, since today is the first day it's going to be a short lecture. We'll just brief the syllabus and everyone can get onto whatever Fraternity or Sorority party you've been planning to crash-- where I have no doubt, that you will push and test the limits of your hell-bound liver, before ultimately surrendering to the smooth, disease ridden tiles of the restroom floor." Whooping cheers, enthusiastic claps, roaring laughter accompanied the whole while as he descended to the podium.

"Oh, my god. He knows who I am." she clawed onto Nami's hand, "He's trying to get rid of all the witnesses so he can kill me."

"Kill-? What the heck is going on?" complained Ussop, rubbing the sore area of his head.

"I'm so sorry, Ussop." Robin replied brokenly, pushing down the burning sob creeping up her throat.

"No, no. It's okay. What's wrong Robin?" his tone dropped with worry. "Tell me what's wrong-- Does he want to hurt you?!" he demanded, snapping up from seat. Nami quickly caught his belt, yanking him back to place.

"It's nothing like that, it's only a joke." Robin forced a laugh. In the background, Professor MiHawk's voice continued reading out loud the words from a syllabus she had already memorized by heart. "I just really wanted to try on your hat." she patted lightly the material over her head. Ussop nodded slowly at her response. He knew her well enough that she was keeping something from him.

"That's fine," he nodded forgivingly. "You can keep the hat. I know where to get another one." he gave a encouraging thumbs up before returning to the lecture.

Nami squeezed warmly her shivering hand. "I'm so stupid Nami," Robin whispered shakily, "For as long as I've known of him--" the rising choke broke her sentence, "Nami-- the one person I've admired, worship and looked up to, hates me."

"Oh, come on Robin. He doesn't hate you. So he caught you loading a couple bucks, I bet he's lifted at least a pack of gum during his boy days too." she tried helpfully.

"I had him cuffed and arrested with three securities holding him at gun-point." she confessed desperately. Robin looked into Nami's blank face for the next ten seconds.

"Rat bastard! Did he HAVE to bundle up like a leper for the COVER shot of National Geographic's?!" Nami angrily kicked the back of the chair at her feet. A spec wearing pigtailed girl turned furiously at the assault. "The fuck do you want, Pippi Longstocking?!" she shouted a bit too loud. Professor MiHawk and the class turned in direction of the profanity.

"Sorry, my fault. Tourette's acting up again." Ussop apologized with a raise of his hand.

Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.Xx.

A/N: Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this pilot chapter!

First off, I must confess, unlike the other stories I've written/writing, this series is going to be very heavy with adult situation of every aspect. I'm not going to sit here pretending its okay for viewers who squeal and twist at kissing scenes to continue with this story. If intense adult situation make you uncomfortable please don't read.

I've actually thought out this plot while writing for The Past and Peppermint. MiHawk and Robin. I became obsessed with this pairing while writing my first story of the two. I've tweaked and changed couple things from both characters but I hope they successfully relay the image I had set in mind.-- Out of all the One Piece characters Nami was the one I liked the least. But as the plot grew I came to completely adore her character.-- All the OP crew will of course be incorporated into the story; some playing larger parts while others do the latter.

Writing two stories with the same pairing may not be confusing or difficult for some authors, but it is for me (sweats). I'm waiting for viewer feedback to help make up my mind on whether to juggle two stories at once, or just hold off until the first one is finished. Thanks again for your time!

Please review to let me know what you thought of the story!