A/N: Hey everyone, this is a new story that I have written and it is not a oneshot surprisingly. I would like to dedicate this story to my sister because she has had a hard and difficult time this past year. This story was written to remind everyone who is going through something difficult that hope never fades away and will always be there. The light is waiting at the end of the tunnel to shine good fortune upon you. This story holds a special place in my heart and I would love it if you would read it and review. Reviews are much appreciated. Enjoy!
timekeeper1824
Condemned Hope
by timekeeper1824
Chapter I- Angles Are Nonexistent
For as long as I can remember, I have never let anyone in. I was afraid that if they knew what was really going on with me, they would desert me. Also, I was terrified that I would end up drowning them in my pain, sufferings, and misery as well. I was and still remain an isolated person. I wasn't always like this, I used to feel other emotions. Not anymore. I had a best friend named Kairi; but that was all before the accident. After the accident was when I shut down and pushed everything close to me as far away as possible including Kairi.
Now, I don't even know what happiness is anymore. Scratch that. Actually, I feel happiness with rarity. I feel joy when I write. Having a pen in hand and being able to make words fly across the paper is my happiness. My words paint the paper with color, texture, and emotion. It's a piece of art itself. Writing is an escape from the hell that I live in. No darkness, despair, or pain. Just a place where only what is written by me is the true events happening and nothing else. For me, what I write are pictures put into words. New things added each time. It is bliss to get lost inside your own head when writing, Well, for me at least it is bliss.
But not everything can be blissful. Sadly, the bliss has to come to an end. And for me, the bliss doesn't last as long as I would like it to. Torture, darkness, despair, and pain always interrupts what little calm I have and the protection and comfort I settle into with the sound of my pen scratching the surface of the stiff paper.
When my moment of genuinely feeling at peace and safe is brought back to reality, fear comes crashing down like a tidal wave. No more am I treading water but I am drowning in it. I need an angel to save me, but the angel I hope for never comes. I am still being swallowed by the dark abyss and evil everyday. I have been hoping for this angel to come and rescue me for almost three years now. Nothing. I'm starting to believe that angels never really existed. They were only brought to life by the imagination of people who had faith and hope. They don't exist to me anymore. They never came to my aid when I called them in my times of desperation. I've been left alone to rot away into nothingness. No angel can save me now.
I woke up with the sun glaring into my bedroom through the windows. My room was on the east side of the house so I was always greeted by the dangerous, orange orb. I hated the sun; it mocked me every morning because it reminded me that it was the beginning of another day with its daily ritual. The sun reminded me of what was to come. However, I held a small part of gratefulness for the mocking sun, for it always helped me to rise with its early rays.
I stretched my arms above my head wincing slightly and hopped out of the comfort of my bed. Carefully walking across the carpeted floor, I reached my closet. I stripped down out of my sleepwear and proceeded to pick out my clothes for the day. I pulled down a dark crimson long-sleeved cashmere sweater and a pair of dark jeans. I grabbed a belt and weaved it through the pant loops. Belts were a must. I needed them to hold up my pants. Nothing ever fit my properly or right.
Sighing, I tiptoed over to the dresser mirror and looked over my appearance. The sweater hung off of my small frame just the way I liked it. Reaching down, I picked up the hair brush and began to glide the bristles through the strands of my hair. I set the brush back down to its rightful place and looked back up into the mirror. Two dull sapphire eyes stared back at my pale complexion. My blonde hair rested below my shoulder blades, shielding my bare neck from the cruel sun.
I glanced away from the mirror, not able to look at myself for a moment longer. What I saw was a fragile being. I girl whose eyes only reflected pain, suffering and most definitely fear. I saw the ghost of a girl; only a mere existence.
Stop it Naminé. You need to go to school now. You're five minutes behind schedule. You can't fall behind.
Clearing my head, I took my backpack off its hook and grabbed my prized possessions as well before heading out the door. I never left without them, my journal and pen. It was apart of me. I wrote only in pen in my sacred book. I wanted to keep the words engraved in the pages permanently. The ink was comforting because it sunk into the depths of the pages, never getting the chance to fade away and disappear. It was a constant.
I walked as quietly as I could down the stairs, past the kitchen and opened the front door soundlessly. I never ate breakfast at my house; I always skipped it. I would wait until lunch to finally eat.
With the sun beginning to rise steadily higher into the morning sky, I began my walk to Twilight Town's high school, Hope High School. I glanced down at my wrist that held the intricate watch. 6:35a.m. I was usually out of the house by 6:30 but I was behind my schedule. Thirty minutes later, Hope High School came into view. Personally, I liked to call it Hopeless High. I gave up on hope a long time ago.
The school grounds had a courtyard and a large beautifully sculpted water fountain in front of the building. Seven towers were in the middle of the fountain gracefully releasing water from their spouts. Six out of the seven towers had vines dappled with forget-me-nots wrapped all the way around the ivory marble. On top of the six towers were carved gardenias. The petals of each flower served as the openings for the water to flow.
The seventh tower was in the center of the circle of the other six. It raised high above all the others, superior to them. I disliked the seventh tower of water and marble. The other six were simple and plain, but were what made the fountain serene and attractive. The seventh one had an angel perched atop of it. The angel was beautifully grotesque and disturbing. His wings were open as if he was to leave his stand and any moment and his hands were grasping the edges of the tower. He was crouched ready to leap into the heavens, his eyes cast skyward.
I was filled with a wave of nausea every time I saw him. He reminded me of my long abandoned hope and my belief that he is nonexistent. He never came to save me.
No matter how much I loathed the angel, I was drawn to the rest of the fountain; it serves as my sanctuary and safe haven. It is where I come to write to escape all that surrounds me.
I walked up to the fountain's ledge and sat at my designated spot in front of the fourth tower. The fourth tower was in the center of the walkway and nearest to the stairs that led into the school. I saw down and began to write, the sound of the water flow becoming a symphony as I wrote.
Hope is lost
He no longer is real
Hope has faded into the oblivion
To the point of no return
No one can save hope
For he has been condemned to death
Hope has failed to fulfill his promise
He did not provide the strength and protection
That was asked of him
When hope fades away
So does his comrade trust
Hope has given up on you
And in doing so
He brought his death upon himself
I closed my journal and placed my pen in the space where the spine was opened. When I looked up, I realized I was no longer alone. Students had started to arrive. Sighing, I stood up and began to walk up the steps.
It was the beginning of another day, the beginning of the same routine.
Meanings behind some of the objects:
Forget-me-nots: type of flower- true love; memories
Gardenias-type of flower- secret love
7-the most magically powerfull number
4- the 4th dimension time which is illusion. Wholeness, totality, and completion. The 4 elements (water, fire earth, and air)
2nd A/N: Well, did you enjoy the chapter? Hate it? Please tell me what you think of if. This is my second attempt at a multi-chapter story. No flames though. You can also leave me suggestions if you want. But mostly, I want to hear you opinion on the story so far. Thanks for reading.
timekeeper1824