1st of September
Dearest Lizzie,
I'm sorry that you were unable to find the peacock quill you just bought. Maybe the dog ate it? I'll tell you if I find anything feathery in his waste... Well, I'm just going to assume you found this while you were looking in your trunk for your robes. I hope you are well. And you better use that notebook I gave you. You have so many useless thoughts, maybe the writing will encourage you to choose your words more wisely. Especially in front of your elders. My goodness, I cannot express my embarrassment when you told the Lupins all about your stay at that muggle-born's house. Blathering on about all that nonsense... Really do try to think before you speak, love. I'll write you later, and you'll probably receive the next letter during the feast.
Yours, Mum
1st of September
Elizabeth Reynolds! I cannot believe you forgot to pack your extra bras! I did not get you fitted to have you forget all of your new expensive underthings! A complete waste. I'll send them along as soon as your father gets your "Official Hogwarts Sixth Year Survival Package" ready. I'm not sure I want to know what he's got in there. I hope the feast is going well and, just think, next year, your little cousin Jack will be going to Hogwarts! Well, if I remember something I forgot to say, I'll write again.
-Mum
2 September
Good morning, Pippy-Lizzie-Wizzie!
All is well this morning. Except your mum made me the most horrid porridge... I honestly thought it would spring to life and eat me! Well, as usual, I'm supposed to be working, but I'm not. (Don't tell your mum!) I was thinking about possible summer holiday plans for this coming year. That is if you aren't planning to go to Lily's. Actually, she could come along with us, if she wants! Anyway, back to what I was thinking: we should go to Egypt again! Or would you rather a Grecian holiday? (Toga, Toga!) The Quidditch World Cup is being held in Athens this summer, and I know how much you adore Quidditch! When does that start up, by the way? Hopefully that Potter boy won't work you too hard, eh? I remember last year when we got that letter saying you'd broken your arm and a few ribs. Your mum nearly fainted! It was a good laugh indeed. Looks like I better start working... The head of the Department just sent me a memo saying he's on the way down. No time like the present to actually appear as though you are doing something productive!
Dad
2nd of September
Elizabeth, you better be eating well. Are the house elves starving you? I never did like those odd little creatures... You better be keeping up in all your studies this year. I don't want anymore letters from Professor Jevois (who you know to be my good friend). You should respect her and the art of Divination. You have the Inner Eye, you know. You inherited it from my side of the family.
Drink your milk! -Mum
2nd of September
Elizabeth, stop complaining about everything. It is not my fault that you didn't finish your Ancient Runes summer assignment. And you are not deathly allergic to milk! And stop complaining about that Black boy. I've heard all about him and I want you to stay as far away from him as possible. Why don't you spend more time with Remus? You know, the pair of you would make a right cute couple!
Yours, Mum
2nd of September
I hope your Runes assignment went over well. I'll try to refrain from writing so much since I obviously annoy you.
-M.
6 September
Welcome to your Official Hogwarts Sixth Year Survival Package! Inside you will find a multitude of objects that are very helpful, including three peacock feather quills! I heard the dog ate yours, and be content knowing that I scolded Hercules for his act of, well, quill-eating... Right! So, the rest of the objects in here, in case you haven't already looked: As I said, three peacock feather quills. A copy of that Sherlock Holmes book you were telling me about. Your favourite blanket, some new gloves for Quidditch, a remembrall (knowing you, you're sure to forget something), At-A-Glance Guides for History of Magic, Ancient Runes, Potions and the dreaded Divination. (I know you'll be using the last one quite a bit.) I also sent you a catalogue of the latest in flying technology. Some of the brooms are brilliant. So, be sure to pick a few of your favourites and send it back! It's about time you got a new broomstick anyway. Moving on... I also bought you some of that deep purple ink you love so much. And a muggle contraption called a "kaleidoscope." I thought you would like it because if you take a peek in, you'll see the stars no matter the weather! Muggles intrigue me... Oh, your mum is sending along the bras you forgot to pack with this. But those aren't part of the Survival Package. Well, until later!
Love, Dad
6th of September
I didn't even bother to check what your father put in that bloody box. Hopefully nothing illegal? Anyway, this'll be my last letter, at least for the next few days. You better not get into any trouble, and pay attention during your classes. You ought to be at the top of your class, with a lovely boyfriend, and a bright, promising future. Keep that goal in mind!
-Mum
7th of September
I was cleaning your room this morning. How could you leave the place in such a state of filth? People will come over, have a look in your bedroom and think that a troll lives there! You're lucky you have a kind mother who is willing to clean up after you. One of these days, Lizabeth, you'll have to take care of yourself. And that includes putting things away, folding clothes, making your bed... I'm not going to be your personal maid forever! On a lighter note, Aunt Caroline and I have been discussing the Christmas holidays. It would appear that they will be visiting us. So you'll need to be on your best behaviour and be setting a good example for Jack and Peter. Especially Jack. He's is far too much like you already.
Hoping you are well, Mum
7th of September
I forgot to mention that your father may be getting a promotion! He works so hard and it looks as if all that hard work is finally going to pay off! Please feed Leonidas, he'll probably be famished once he reaches you. Do you still have those Owl Snacks I bought for you?
-Mum
8 September
Afternoon, Love!
I'm sorry to say that it appears your Holyhead Harpies have lost their match today... Sorry to have to tell you. I suppose your mum told you about my possible promotion? She was very happy about it. She thinks we're going to move into a castle or something, I believe. Which we aren't. I like it in the Lake District. You like it in the Lake District. So we're staying. But I suppose the coast may also be a nice place to live. Or London- that way I'd be closer to the Ministry. Not to worry, though. We won't be relocating any time in the foreseeable future.
Take care of yourself and try to cause as much mischief as possible, Dad
9th of September
Are you alive, love? No replies or anything. Even your father hasn't heard from you. Promise me the house elves aren't starving you!
-Mum
9th of September
I swear, if you are anywhere near that Sirius Black... I told you that I've heard the stories! I thought you were smarter than that! Why can't you be "deathly allergic" to him? If you have to, what's the word you use? "Snog?" Yes, if you have to snog someone, why not Remus? He's a perfectly pleasant boy. A top contender for the boyfriend role, I say.
Just think about it, Mum
10th of September
Elizabeth,
Well, Hercules decided to attack my shrubs again. He's your bloody dog, didn't you train him? Oh, never mind. You probably did but forgot to train him to stay away from my garden. You really are too forgetful, dear. I've discovered a new baking recipe in Witch Weekly. And also a five-step guide to attract the perfect male for your personality type! (I already took the little quiz for you, and you apparently need a boy who is kind, sensitive, and studious... You know, that sounds a lot like the young Mr. Lupin.) So here's the page of the How To. It looks fairly simple... Well, maybe not for you since you make such a big fuss about everything. It's just a phase, though. You'll grow out of it.
Please write back, Mum
10th of September
Lizzie, have you looked at the article yet? I know it will be of great use to you!
Yours, M.
10th of September
It's getting late, dear, and I still haven't heard from you. I expect a letter in the morning.
-Mum
11th of September
Elizabeth,
Your father has been working very hard lately. I wish I could know what he's working on, but seeing as he isn't allowed to discuss it... Well, there really isn't anything I can do, is there? I hope you are well, but hoping is the most I can do since you haven't replied to my letters. Your father told you about the Holyhead Harpies loss on the eighth, I believe? They won the match yesterday by 60 points. I thought that news might brighten your day (and perhaps prompt you to write back). When does House Quidditch start? Has it already started?
Yours, Mum
11th of September
I haven't heard from you, Elizabeth! Are you trying to worry me sick? I believe you are! I don't know how many letters I've sent you in the last few days and you haven't replied! And none of that, "But Mum, you're wasting trees and ink!" It's not about the environment! Just reply! Let me know you're alive and well... Or at least breathing!
Sincerely, Mum
12 September
Elizabeth,
I know that you find your mother's letters a nuisance. I do too. But just respond to her, please. She is threatening to go to Hogwarts to make sure you're alive. I know you are, but your mum has a tendency to worry. A lot. Please, just write, "Mum, I'm alive. -Elizabeth" or something. In fact, you could just write, "Hello. Goodbye." That way she knows you're fine. How're you keeping up in your studies? I expect Transfiguration, Charms and Ancient Runes are a piece of cake! Have you ever heard that saying: a piece of cake? I heard a muggle say it the other day and it fascinated me.
Dad
13th of September
Lizzie,
Well thank you for finally replying to my letters! It's about time. I hope you are staying out of trouble and I'm glad to hear that Remus has been helping you with your studies. Has he helped you with Divination? Merlin knows you need help in that subject. Perhaps your Inner Eye is blind?
Try to have more timely replies, Mum
13th of September
Elizabeth,
I sincerely hope that you and your friends have not been causing any trouble. Professor Jevois tells me she sees you writing all the time, although it sounds like your friend Bridget is predicting your future very well. It seems I am not the only one who thinks you and Remus Lupin are good for each other. You didn't tell me if Quidditch started yet. Hopefully you only forgot because you were in the midst of studying. I know you can't multitask.
Try not to be so distracted, Mum
14th of September
Lizzie,
That bloody dog of yours will not stop wreaking havoc! He won't even listen to your father! I have no idea how to keep him out of the food I bake or off the furniture or out of my rose bushes. Does he come with a manual or something? Or would you actually tell me how to effectively scold him?
-Mum
14th of September
Elizabeth,
I sincerely hope you aren't still sleeping. I'm starting to think that's all you ever do on Sundays! I'm sure you have plenty of essays to be working on. Or a chart for Astronomy, perchance? Your father asked me to send along this book; he thought you might enjoy it once you've finished the other one. I'm not quite sure if Tom Jones is appropriate for school, but your father thinks your mature enough to read it. (I, however, beg to differ.) Just don't let anyone catch you reading it- they may get ideas.
Yours, Mum
15th of September
Elizabeth,
So, what have you learned in school so far? How have things been? I received your letter yesterday and I did not particularly appreciate your snippy attitude.
Write now, Mum
15th of September
Yes, dear, I could tell you were being short with me. I am your mother and I will have no more of your behaviour!
-Mum
16th of September
Elizabeth,
Darling, I'd like to apologise for yesterday. I love you very much and I'm merely concerned about your progress in school and in your relationships. I understand that you are a teenager and feel the need to rebel, but, please, try to understand. I went through puberty too. You'll turn out alright. Well, your father is demanding some tea, so I best go put it on for him lest he burn the house down.
Deeply Concerned for Your Well-Being, Mum
17 September
Lizzie the Pip,
I've finally persuaded your mum to stop writing you so often. I think it's now down to a once-a-week thing. You tell me if she sends you more than one letter in seven days, alright? How's the Survival Package going? I got the magazine. I like how you chose the most expensive brooms in there. Seems like something Uncle Andrew would do. He may be stopping by for Christmas. Thought you'd like to know since you think he's "such a laugh."
Take care Little Pippin, Dad
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So this was just a short little thing that I put together as an end-of-the-summer oneshot. Some pre-school comic relief for those of us who are being forced to return. Anyway, this is dedicated to all my friends who will be returning to school along side me. And to my readers, who will likely be returning to school in the near future also. Luckily none of us have parents as annoying as Elizabeth's mother, right? And now we know where Elizabeth gets her personality from (yay for fathers)! The World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, even though I wish certain characters were mine... I hope you enjoyed it and found it entertaining in some way! Best of luck with the new year and remember to start it off with a good laugh! Yours.