Lee/Gaara –

Choices

Chapter 5:

The entire "tour" Lee was no short of jumpy. Always twitching and jerking to almost everything that I did; which included sneezing. I never sneeze. The involuntary action was unsettling. Being surrounded by sand almost constantly has made my nose used to irritations and the sand blocks foreign bacteria from aggravating my nose hairs. Gaara of the sand does not sneeze. Lee changes me. Whenever I'm around him, his heart-warming cry in the forest rushes back into my mind. I feel a flutter cascade through my heart and it tenses all the muscles in my torso. It didn't help that the next room scheduled for the tour was his room.

I was excited. Yes. But he seemed rather hesitant. He not only paused before opening the door, he fumbled with the doorknob and tripped over the threshold. It was very cute, but I had to hold back the urge to catch him. Can't come on too strong.

He walked me in and motioned to the many pictures, posters, and memorabilia on his wall. Fighting posters, banners of self-encouragement and strength were spread wildly around the room. He could barely contain his excitement when he pulled down a trophy and shoved it in my face.

"Tai-jutsu Junior Champion!" he beamed. His smile was so bright I had to control a beaming smile of my own. I let out a smirk.

"Junior Champion?" I repeated. His face flushed.

"Well, you see, " he stammered, "Gai-sensei is the reigning champion in the regular Tai-jutsu tournament, and I could never defeat Gai. He's too much of a father towards me."

Oh. Yes. Gai. The Gai whom, in the trees, Lee professed his undying love to. I still don't get the attraction between them. It's too foreign. I would kill my advisor if I had the time of day. But Lee shows such unyielding devotion it makes me sort of sick. What if we were to get together, and that devotion were focused on me. I cringe at the thought. All that unwanted attention. Bleck.

"What's wrong Gaara- I mean, Kazakage-sama?" Lee questions with hopeful eyes.

"Oh." I say, realizing that I must have a nasty expression on my face. "It's nothing." I yawn. "Actually, I am getting rather sleepy. My men and me haven't slept in many days. I covered my mouth for the second yawn. I felt rather rude to have open-mouthed yawned a moment earlier.

"Right!" Lee exclaimed. Then paused and stared at me. "Well, um…" he started, then sighed, "Because this is also my room, would you mind if we shared this room together?" then he stammered and flushed. "Well, you can have the bed of course!" he spit out. He hid his face with a sheet of hair, but I could practically feel the heat rising from his red-hot cheeks. Or were those mine?

"I wouldn't impose on you the notion to sleep in anywhere other then your quarters." I formally began, "And I will accept the generous offer of sleeping in your bed." I managed a half smile. This was all too formal. Too much like an actual bed and breakfast and not a heart-warming reunion with my long lost love. I sighed. He jumped again, still nervous for some reason. I waved my guards out of the room and they immediately obeyed.

"Kazakage-sama. We'll be right outside. Please yell if you need anything." The guards stated their required spiel, but they knew as well as I that I wouldn't need any assistance from them if I were in a fight.

"Yes. I understand." I mechanically responded. I could hear their feet pad down the spiral staircase. It was really just Lee and I. The feelings swirling with in me are so forceful it takes every nerve in my body to hold me back from claiming my well-earned prize. But, I yet again contained myself. Lee brushed passed me and headed towards his bed. He pulled out a second mattress out of the bottom of the western style bed frame. I was impressed by his resourcefulness. A second mattress would be much for comfortable then a sleeping bag.

He walked out into the hall and I heard closet door open, a linen closet. I sat myself down on his bed and made myself comfortable. His bed was neatly made and the comforter was soft to the touch, worn down with years of use. I kicked off my shoes and stripped of my robes. Underneath I was wearing western style boxers and beater. I moved my arms around in their welcomed new range of motion. Those robes hold me back from my full potential most of the time. I find a break in the bed sheet and slither inside of the warm covers. I pull them over my head and take a long, deep breath through my nose. The smell of his shampoo, soap, and natural fragrances wafted through my nostrils. I let the breath out and pulled down the covers.

Lee was there, sheets and an extra blanket in hand, just staring at me. I felt so vulnerable, I pulled the blankets up to my chest, and we just stared at each other. He cleared his throat and walked over to his mattress and began setting up his sleeping space. Not a word was said between either of us. The air grew thick with discomfort. But he soon spoke.

"Anything you need before I turn in?" he asked, looking into my eyes. The sheets were still protectively covering my chest. I relaxed and set them down.

"No," I said, "but, thank you for offering." He smiled at that and my heart shook. That smile could break the coldest frost on my heart.

Lee sat down on his mattress and spun around so his back was facing me. He began to slip off his leg warmers and weights, then his headband. How can he be so comfortable around me? So trusting? But, he continued to get undressed without thinking about me there. He slipped off, his green suit, top first, and then bottoms. His boxers were the last things left on him. I could see his scars clearly. They trickled all along his back and wound up to his chest. My stomach clenched itself. The thought of touching those scars made my blood rush. I was suddenly very excited.

I slipped down off my mattress and onto Lee's. My hands wound around Lee's back and smoothed themselves over his chest. He shivered under my touch and I heard his breath hitch as my warm breath fell across his shoulder. His eyes fluttered closed as my lips caressed his neck. He moaned to my soft touch and leaned into my embrace. His fingers spread themselves through my hair in his show of ecstasy. I smiled into his neck and my teeth lightly grazed the irritated skin there. His eyes shot open and he gasped a beautiful sound. As my face lifted, his body turned so our eyes met each other's at level. The static between our chests so close was enough to drive me insane. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands caressed my waist. I dragged his face towards mine. Our lips were mere inches apart. I could feel his hot uneven breathing on my face. I wanted to say those words in which he exclaims so easily. Those words I've been dying to use and hear. "I—"

I snapped out of it just in time. My hands were already on the brim of my boxers, my yearning growing every minute I'd day dreamed. Lee was turned over, already under the covers. So much for that idea. My growing erection screamed for attention, but Lee was too near, and I had my pride to think about. It would be so easy to just shake him awake, tell him of the scene I had witnessed in the woods, professed my love, then ravish him… but I can't. As easy as it seems, I just can't. It feels as though we've just met and I'm just an imposing stranger. Well, a stranger who happens to be the Kazakage, but a stranger no less. I glance over at Lee. His body rises and falls within perfect intervals. I can hear his soft, deep breathing from my higher post. He's well asleep. Definitely too late now.

Defeated, I turn over, facing away from Lee, and stare at the nightstand. It's a simple wooden nightstand with three drawers and a lamp on top. Along with a lamp are an array of pens and pencils. He must write before he sleeps. I attempt to nod off.

Wait. He writes before sleeping? Like, in a diary? My eyes grow frantic searching for the small book that holds all of his secrets. I'm excited to read all about his love and deception. I spot the second drawer slightly ajar. A small sticker is posted at the top left stating, "Do Not Open". I, of course, have to open it. It lets out a horrible shriek. Definitely a defense mechanism against intruders. I turn to face Lee. He gently rolls over. No sudden jolts of awareness. I reach into the dark drawer, and pull back a green, leather-bound book. There's a lock in the front, denying me access. I smile. I've been picking locks since I was five.

I call my sand to me. It comes in a small swarm and floats above the journal. I send the sand inside the small lock. The sand conforms to the innards, making a makeshift key. The sand turns on my command and the small lock pops open. I flip hurriedly through the pages. He seems to have had this diary since he was born. Small scribbles fill up the first pages, and the drawings improve in quality, as the dates grow older. Finally I get to this year.

"My first day of fall", "The boring B-rank mission", "Horrible Tsunade-sama"… Aha! "My first S-rank mission"! I begin to read:

My First S-rank mission
Fall

I was given my first S-rank mission today! I'm so excited I can barely stand it! Tsunade said I'd be guarding Gaara. [Here, a heart was drawn in

I haven't seen Gaara in years. I still love him as I did back in previous falls, but seeing him again will make my heart explode! Being so high up there, I don't think he'll ever look down and ever consider me… or homosexuality for that matter. I came out of the closet to Gai years ago! No one else mind you, but he accepted me just fine. Poor Gaara would be all alone. Well, if he wanted to confide in me, that'd be fine. [Here a smile face was drawn in. I suppose I could always dream about it. Speaking of dreams, I had the best one last night!

I was sleeping in my room, when all of a sudden; Gaara appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me close and we lay there, not saying a word. It was such a great dream that I never wanted to wake up. But, I did. And that's all I can do, dream.

I closed to book and set it back in the drawer. It didn't squeak as I closed it and I'm glad it didn't. Poor Lee, so tormented for liking me. I want to like him back, even love him, but I would never be accepted back to Suna. My own guards would look down on me. People may get hurt.

"Oh, Lee…" I whispered and looked down upon him. "If only you knew…" I leaned down and brushed his hair once, feeling the silky sheen of it. I rolled over, and attempted, yet again, for sleep.

(A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not writing in… forever. I write when I have the inspiration, and when it comes, it comes on strong! Everyone should thank one particular reviewer who bugged me to no end to update, update, update! I wrote this because of them.

Please Review :D)