Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associated characters, names, or otherwise are the property of J.K. Rowling.

New moons cast shadows even light can't trace. The mysterious cousin of the full, it has long been ignored by myth and magic alike. It has been drenched in shadow, both literally and figuratively. Yet, what is left unseen nevertheless continues on, lurking in the corners of our greatest imaginations. Sometimes, the most powerful things are impossible to reveal.

Softly, Remus Lupin padded through the deserted streets of London, the only light filtering in from the few streetlamps still in working order. It was a rundown district, filled with the poor and wary, angry and restless, the mysterious and the unknown. The stars were hidden by blankets of dark-grey clouds that smudged the ink of the sky. The air was crisp, beckoning, whispering past his ear and into unkempt hair. It was nights like these, when Remus could stalk the streets with only his thoughts as company, that he felt most at peace, almost a true human being. Almost. The beast within him was in deep slumber, its only reminder the constant pulse that coursed through his veins. A quiet reminder, of what life was to be. But not tonight. Tonight was for Remus and Remus alone. Tonight was the dawn of a new cycle, a new tomorrow, a new chance that he was not going to waste. He kept walking, collar popped, hands shoved deep into thin pockets, pace steady and determined. Suddenly, he reached the end of the street. Before him lay a dark expanse of woods, blocked only by a rusty sign that cringed in the wind. Smiling faintly, he readjusted it on the rusty hinges, sighed, then strode past. He need not heed its warning; these woods were an internal part of him, an instinct he could never shake. Nor even want to. He passed through the thick trees more quickly now, his senses finally realizing his goal was near. Briskly, he broke into gallop, unseen by all save the moon. Stopping only at the edge of a clear, placid lake, reflecting silver from the clouds above. The lake of Arcadia.

To average passerby, it seemed like a mere lake. Indeed, normally, it was. But Remus knew better.

Slowly, he stripped, folding worn clothes neatly by a twisted chestnut. The only thing he wore was a peculiar silver pendant, carved with intricate designs and detailing. He shivered against the cold, his thin, battered body vulnerable to the chilly conditions. Gently, oh so gently, he immersed himself into the icy depths, until his whole body was blanketed in freezing liquid. Shivering, he paddled to the center of the lake, using all his strength to keep from chattering too much. Remus tread water nervously, waiting for midnight to strike. He was unsure of what exactly would happen, but there was no turning back now. Sure enough, Big Ben echoes; its chime reverberating through the water. He closed his eyes as the tremors surrounded his body, encasing his soul. When he opened them, the moon's reflection was laid out in all its glory, despite the darkness of the sky. It encompassed his body in a silver-liquid cloak, pulling him under the waves. Remus drew in breath quickly, then relaxed. His body was now rigid, surrounded by a metallic film. His mind was cloudy, trembling with each ringing of the clock.

"Yes" he murmured. "Finally…may this bloody beast inside of me die…die…DIE!." He sputtered as he accidentally swallowed more water. His chest was starting to tighten now. Shaking violently, changing from man to wolf to something in-between, again and again and again. Remus was near blackness now; but he couldn't stop. The end of the magic was near, he was sure of it. It had to work…it just had to. Suddenly, through his glazed eyes he saw a dark figure approaching.

"No" he groaned, struggling to retain conscienceness.

"Not now, the magic is almost complete. I can feel it…just…a…few…more…moments…." His limbs shook more violently still, head dragging from side to side. Remus couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't see. A wave of darkness washed over, his last sight a hairy snout, pulling urgently at his arm.

Remus felt empty, as if he has just slept for an eternity. He didn't open his eyes just yet, calmly feeling the rise and fall of his chest, wanting the moment to last forever. Had the magic worked? Was he finally free of the curse? Or was he…was he…dead? Stirring slightly, he was jerked into repulsion by the feeling of slime across his face. He slowly opened his eyes, only to be greeted by the head of a mammoth black canine.

"Wha…" he sputtered, coughing up water. "What are you..do..cough…doing here? Sirius. You should be back at the house. Shit, why am I lying in the sand?" Remus struggled to prop himself up. Sirius nudged his shoulder, then backed up and gracefully transformed into a lean, raven locked man. He smiled slyly and helped Remus gather his steps.

"There there…too many questions. Calm down before you choke on all that goddamed water. You must have swallowed a tubs worth!"

"Sirius, answer my question…" Remus's eyes were downcast, his voice but a murmur.

"Why, saving your arse, my friend! Moony, you almost killed yourself out there! What the hell were you doing, taking a dip this time of night?"

"I was not swimming! I was trying to complete a very complicated piece of magic, more ancient then time. It's supposed to…to reverse the effects of…of…lycanthropy." He sputtered on the name, as if the very taste of it was metallic and bitter. "That is, until you came and ruined it!" Remus crossed his arms angrily, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Moony, when are you going to get it into your thick, thick skull that dabbling in dark magic and old wives tales won't help? I don't know what the fuck was happening out there, but it sure as hell wasn't good. You were having convulsions, Remus, freaking convulsions! Under the freaking water, in freezing temperatures! I swear, you're going to kill yourself someday Lupin!"

"You don't understand, do you?" He tried to get up, steadying himself on Sirius's shoulder. "Don't understand what it's like to be labelled, to be persecuted, to be hated? To live with a beast, a…a monster inside of you, controlling, forcing you to abandon any inkling of relationship with…with anybody because you could fucking hurt them? crap, some nights I wish I were dead already Sirius!" He reached for his slacks and tugged them on, his face red with sputtered outrage.

"Don't ever say that again. Ever. Remus…Remus" He grabbed the man's shoulders, forcing him to turn to his friend. "Remus, look at me. I do understand. Better then probably any other fucking person in this fucking world. I've seen death, I've smelt it, I tasted it on my breath. I've already witnessed my best friend murdered. I've spent thirteen years in hell. Don't you dare try to judge me. Don't you dare insinuate I couldn't understand."

Remus buttoned up his coat and stared at Sirius, his composure regained, his stance less defensive.

"I know…I know, it's just…I'm desperate, alright? I read about this...idea and thought perhaps, just maybe, it would work…just maybe, I could be normal . Able to...love." He fingered the pendant, eyes cast as shadows over his shoes.

Sirius sighed. "Moony. You are accepted. More than even I am it seems...look at the Order, the Weasley's, Dumbledore, Harry, Heck!, don't forget me!" He smiled. "It's just…you have to stop pursuing these dead ends. They'll leave you with this...high, then you'll meet nothing but disappointment. Or worse. If you ended up dieing because of one of these schemes, why... I'd never forgive myself…"

"You?" Lupin looked up suddenly, "Why would you feel guilt?"

"Because I didn't stop you, didn't save you! Crap, Moony, if I hadn't been here tonight, you would've died! And remember that time you tried to stab yourself with that silver knife! Where'd you find that one out anyways?"

"Um, Wikipedia…muggle site, don't ask." He muttered, a slight flush of embarrassment creeping along his cheeks. "I know, I know. I've been stupid."

"That's a first…" Sirius smiled. Remus had always been the brainy one in school.

"Listen, thanks for…everything. I was desperate and you set me straight. Just don't let anyone know about this...please. You know how Molly frets and I would hate to burden Harry."

"Of course mate. I figure I have to be good for something, being cooped up and all. Why, when you passed out that door, I knew something was up, why…"Remus stopped him.

"It's almost morning. We need to be getting back. For your sake. Don't ever risk yourself again like this Padfoot. Or else I'll really use the knife." He managed a wink, causing Sirius to chuckle devilishly.

"Now that's the Moony I adore! Lecturing me and all. Don't worry, I can take care of myself. Tall, dark, brutishly handsome...that's my brand of personal magic."

"Whatever…just get back into that dog before I dump you in the lake as well!" He punched him playfully, as Sirius smiled, ducked and magnificently leapt back into his shaggy doppleganger. They began back up the path, man and dog, side by side. But as they passed the lake, the reflections relayed quite a different story. In the rippling water lay a lean, dark-locked man and a battered, worn wolf.

Shadows… from within.

Thank you for finishing the first chapter of my first fanfiction (terrifying prospect, no?). I've revised this again several years later, and plan to continue on a similar route with the rest of the story. Please review if one feels so inclined. x
~hippie