Reversed!

By: SilverstartheWaterbender

Special Thanks to:

Wolfen-Ways

artsfan

Cruel Irony

SparrowsVixon

WolfbainKohaku

goody goody gumdrop 06

Affectionate-Sinner

DxS Phreak

Miss Stellar

SICk.TiReD.dOnE

MIssDepp4eva

GoTheDistance

Feng Yue

Toadette23

Disclaimer: I only own Mary, Rebecca, Joey, Lisa, and Celia.

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(Mary's POV)

Considering that my dinner company consisted of a pirate, a blacksmith, a stuffy governor's daughter, an even stuffier admiral, a werewolf, three fangirls, a dog, and the Almighty Keeper of the Rum (Joey was the only one with access to alcohol), dinner went better than I expected. Other than the twenty minutes in which we explained exactly what our food was to Norrington, nobody questioned the twenty-first century delight that is pizza. Toby was on his fourth slice.

"You all right?" he asked after a bit. "You haven't had much to drink."

I drank the last of my rum. It had been my only one so far. "Hello, do you not see who is at my table? I think someone has to stay sober."

Toby smiled. "Good luck with that." He drained his glass and reached for more.

He did have a point; it would be hard staying sober while everyone else around me was getting loopier by the minute. I shrugged and reached for the bottle again. Just this last one, I promised myself. Last one.

…Yeah, right. I drank freely.

"Atta girl, Mary," Jack slurred, giving me a clumsy kiss on the cheek.

Rebecca looked up from her glaring match with Elizabeth. "You've got pizza sauce all over your face."

I sighed and reached for the napkin. "I suppose it would be pointless asking a pirate to wipe his mouth?"

"Probably," Rebecca agreed. She turned to Will, smiling and batting her eyes at him. "You know, Will…I'm fascinated by metalworking and such, but I don't really understand the whole half-pin barrel hinges thing. You mind explaining it to me?" Will grinned and launched into a conversation of words that nobody but him understood. Lizzie's face turned blood-red and she looked away, fuming. Serves her right, the little f…

"Mary! Mary! MAAAAARYYYYY!"

I looked over at Lisa. "What?"

She grinned drunkenly. "I'm wearing shoesh, Mary!" She exploded into a fit of giggles.

What…oh, shoes! She's wearing shoes! I knew that. "Isn't that like your fifth rum this evening?"

Lisa looked horrified. "Of courshe not, Mary…it'sh my sheventh!"

I gave her a look. "Yeah, I think you've had enough."

"Don't you hate it when the shand getsh in your ocean?" she asked solemnly.

"Uh, yeah. Listen up, people!" I said over the noise. Everyone quit talking and looked at me. "Okay, Lisa is now officially drunk as punch. She just asked me if I hate it when the sand gets in my ocean."

Joey, who could put 'em away with the pros, raised an eyebrow. "Heh…amateur."

"Excuse me, Joey, but not everyone is exposed to alcohol as often as you," I pointed out. He shrugged and took a swig of his drink. "Okay, so nobody give Lisa anymore rum, otherwise things will get real crazy in here. Understood?" They all nodded, but I doubted anyone was paying attention.

Jack's voice was suddenly in my ear. "What say we leave these drunken fools and find somewhere to be…alone?"

I blushed. "You're not exactly sober yourself, Jack."

He snorted. "And you are?"

The rum was admittedly making me feel a bit lightheaded. I shook my head, but that didn't seem to help. I smiled at Jack. "Okay, I admit it: I feel a bit drunk. And I feel sorely tempted to take you up on that…offer…" I scanned the table. "Hey, what happened to Rebecca and Lizzie?"

I looked over at Will, who shrugged. "Well, the last I saw, they were –"

CRASH!

I jumped at the noise. "What was that?"

"I think it came from the kitchen," Toby answered. I stood up and ran into the kitchen, the others not far behind. What I saw nearly made me die of laughter.

Elizabeth and Rebecca were locked in some sort of Will-fangirl-related combat. Rebecca, teeth bared, was trying to massacre Lizzie with the rubber chicken, while Lizzie had resorted to using a large book. Terra was crouched under the table, barking loudly.

"Cool it, ladies!" I shouted, pulling Terra out by her collar. This was the easy part; she calmed down with only a few pats to the head. I looked back to see Joey and Toby gripping Rebecca's arms, and Will trapping Lizzie in a tight bear hug. Jack simply stood in the doorway, looking amused.

"You know, you really do need to control that temper of yours," he told Lizzie. Lizzie glared at him.

I picked up the fallen rubber chicken and smacked Lizzie and Rebecca with it. "You guys know perfectly well that you can't fight for the hand of a blacksmith-turned-pirate until after the dishes are done!" Rebecca hung her head, but Lizzie continued to struggle. I knelt down to pick up the book. GASP! It was my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!

In my anger, I smashed the book down onto Lizzie's head, sending her crumpling to the floor. Rebecca cheered, but Will gave me a look. "Why did you do that?"

I held up the book. "We do not use Harry Potter in fangirl fights. That is just so wrong."

"Tell me about it," Rebecca said as Toby and Joey let her go. "What happened to the other three?" I looked around. Lisa, Celia, and Norrington were nowhere to be seen. I let go of Terra's collar and trooped back into the dining room. Everyone followed me but Will, who was dragging Lizzie off somewhere (I assume he was too drunk to carry her).

I peeked into the room. My eyes widened. "HOLY #$ING CRAP!"

Lisa was out cold, her limp hand still clutching her glass. But that's not what made us stare. Celia and Norrington were making out, right there at the table!

"OMG!" Rebecca shouted, eyes pale.

"That is just wrong! I mean, really. Really. Wrong!" Toby groaned.

"MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Joey screeched, covering his eyes. Jack took one look at the couple, turned around, and walked back into the kitchen.

I tapped Celia on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in ya, girl!"

They broke apart and jumped as though a cannon had gone off. Their faces turned bright red. "We…uh…thought you were still…you know…back there," Celia said weakly.

I shook my head. "I clobbered Lizzie with the greatest book of all time. And if you guys are gonna get all touchy-feely, please don't do it in my presence." I frowned. It had come off much harsher than I'd intended.

Norrington stood up without warning and glared at me. "Now see here, Miss Anderson. Just a moment ago, you were preoccupied in the other room, and your friend over there passed out from over consumption of alcohol. There was no one present when we…"

"James," Celia said softly. Norrington remained standing, but stopped shouting at me. Celia stood up. "Mary, I know you hate James," she began. "I don't blame you for that. But I like him a lot, so it would mean a lot to me if you would be supportive."

Uh…wow. This was making me feel bad. "You're right," I whispered. "I'm sorry, Celia. And…Norrington, I'm sorry. It's just that…Celia, you've always been the 'good girl,' if you will. You're messing with the group dynamics, and it freaked me out for a second. I'll be a good friend and support your relationship from now on, I promise."

Celia looked a bit taken aback. "Wow…I didn't expect to hear that so quickly. And you're right, you and Jack have been able to contain yourselves, so we should too, right James?" Norrington looked away stubbornly. "Right, James?" Norrington mumbled something. Celia shrugged. "Good enough. Friends?"

I hugged her. "Friends."

Rebecca and Joey applauded us, while Toby just shrugged. Joey smacked him with the rubber chicken. Toby glared at him. "What? That's better than my reaction would have been beforethe curse was lifted!"

"So, what do we do about her?" Joey asked, pointing to Lisa.

"Leave her lie," I answered simply. "Unless you plan on using her to hit something with." Rebecca, Joey, Celia, and I laughed.

Toby frowned. "Didn't Jack say that on Isla Cruces?"

"Exactly."

Ding-dong!

"I'll get it," Joey said. He started walking out of the room, but I pulled him back by his shirt collar.

"Be careful!" I told him. "We can't let people know that the cast of POTC is here!"

"Relax," Joey said. "I'll be careful." He swaggered out of the room in a very Jack-like way.

"Joey!" I hissed. "Come back!" No response. I sighed exasperatedly and bolted out of the room, just in time to see Joey open the door. My friend Lexi was standing on the porch, grinning wide.

"Hey, Lexi," Joey said. "What's up?"

"Hi, Joey," she answered. She looked past him and grinned at me. "Hey there, Mary!" She frowned. "Why are you wearing a fancy dress?"

"Uh, no reason," I said, pushing past Joey. "What can I do ya for?"

"I heard your parents skipped town," Lexi said.

"Yeah, that's right." Had my parents only left a few hours ago? It felt like years.

"Rebecca's, Lisa's, Celia's, and mine did, too," Joey added. From the look on his face, he was thinking the same thing.

"That's interesting," Lexi replied in a Jack-like voice.

"Don't tell me your parents are gone, too!" I joked.

"Actually, they are!"

My eyes widened. "Seriously? Jeez, have everyone's parents left?"

"Maybe." Lexi shrugged. "But there's catch: you know that my parents are just as overprotective as yours, right?"

"I should. I've known you since pre-K." For the first time, I noticed that she had a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Why did she…oh, shit.

"Yeah. Well, our parents figured it would be safer for both of us if I…camped out at your place." She shifted her bag uncomfortably. "Is that…okay?"

This is bad…this is real bad. I can't have Lexi knowing that Captain Jack Sparrow is staying here for two weeks, much less that we're going out! And the others…but I can't send her away, either. My parents would kill me. I suppose I'll just have to tell her. She does love POTC as much as I do, but all the same, I felt a chill settle into my stomach. This didn't feel right…

Lexi and I had been best buddies since nursery school, but in ninth grade we had fought over, of all people, Sam. Lexi, furious, had pulled our friendship to a grinding halt right there, and I was more than happy to agree. Well, we got through ninth and the fist half of tenth grade as bitter enemies. Lexi and Sam were going out. I introduced Rebecca, Joey, Lisa, and Celia to the wonderful world of POTC fandom. Things had worked. But then I'd been sucked into the movies, and after coming back from Dead Man's Chest, I'd made a stunning realization: you only have one life to live, and you can't waste it holding grudges. The day after my return, I drove over to Lexi's house to find her in a similar state as me – weak and crying. It turns out Sam had just broken up with her. In the face of our romantic drama, our friendship was reinstated, and the rest is history.

"Lexi and I have never kept anything from each other before…I guess I can tell her." "Lexi, can you come upstairs with me for a second?" I began hesitantly.

She frowned in confusion. "Uh, okay." Nodding to Joey, I slowly walked upstairs to my room, Lexi at my heels.

Once we were inside, I asked her, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Cause what I'm about to tell you is really…unbelievable."

Lexi was looking a bit pale now. "Mary, you're kinda freaking me out."

I took a deep breath and told her.

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"So let me get this straight," Lexi said after a moment of silence. "The POTC world really does exist?"

"Yup."

"And Calypso sent this boy and his little brother there?"

"Uh-huh."

"And when the older boy died, she sent you?"

"That's right."

"And you're the only one who can make their world like the Almighty Ted and Terry Rosso planned it?"

"Looks like it."

"And now Jack, Will, Lizzie, Norrington, and the first guy's brother have been sent here for two weeks?"

"Yeah." Lexi was quiet for a long time. I frowned. "You…you do believe me, right?"

Lexi shrugged. "I really don't know…I mean, if you are telling the truth, that would be amazing…but, I think I need some proof."

I was about to respond when the door suddenly burst open. Jack swaggered in, grinning. "There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere, luv!"

Lexi and I gasped. "Jack, you surprised me!" I said, heart pounding.

"I usually have that effect on beautiful girls," he replied, kissing my cheek. "No surprise that it works on you."

I chuckled softly. "Right back at ya, handsome." I looked over at Lexi, who was staring at us with her mouth open. "Oh, right. Jack, this is my friend Lexi. She's going to be staying over here until her parents come back. Lexi, I believe you know Jack."

Jack looked over at her. "A true pleasure," he said, smiling. I couldn't help but smile; his words were much less flirtatious than they were in the movies. Lexi only stared at him, eyes wide. Jack's smile faded. We waved a hand in front of her face. No response. Jack, puzzled, proceeded to do what I dubbed the "sleeping-it-off test": tapping her shoulder and yelling "WHOA!" like he did in the first movie. Still nothing. Jack turned to me. "Is she always like this?"

I shook my head. "You're famous, remember? She's seen the movies as many times as I have. She's totally in to you, so…yeah."

"I see," Jack said thoughtfully. He turned back to Lexi. "Hate to disappoint, dear, but I'm taken." So saying, he put an arm around me and gave my waist a slight squeeze. Hmm…I wonder if it's possible to overheat from blushing. If it is, it's gonna happen to be any minute now.

Lexi closed her mouth and nodded slightly. Jack nodded as well, still looking puzzled. "Uh…right. Well, when you two are done…talking…your mate wants you downstairs."

"Which?"

"The one who brought the rum."

"Oh. We'll be down in just a second." Jack nodded, kissed my cheek again, and exited.

I smiled at Lexi. "Proof enough for you?"

It was at that moment that she finally found her voice. "Wow…you really meant it."

"I did indeed."

"So…you and Captain Jack Sparrow…hooked up?"

I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks as I nodded. My wandered back to when Jack and I first met, the events on the island, our first kiss…

SMACK!

"Ouch!" I yelped, rubbing my head. "What did you just hit me with?"

Lexi held up a…what the hell? "A rubber fish," she said meekly. "It's a present for Terra."

"Why did you hit me in the head with a rubber fish?"

"Cause I'm a Jack fangirl."

"Riiight…get over it. I'm not giving him up that easily." Suddenly remembering the events of a few hours ago, I burst out laughing.

Lexi blinked. "What's so funny?"

I struggled to control myself. "I just remembered…we have a rubber chicken!"

"…Huh?"

"Okay. Earlier tonight, the Author and her reviewers sent us a rubber chicken from the Great Beyond, and I've been using it to hit people with when they act stupid. And now, WE HAVE A RUBBER FISH!"

Lexi's face broke out into a grin. "Cool! IT SHALL BE THE RUBBER CHICKEN'S BFF!" We exploded into laughter.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

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Okay, I lied; the games won't be till later. I'm so sorry, people! Next time, I'll devote an entire chapter to the humiliation of our pirate friends.

Special thanks to DxS Phreak for co-starring! Oh, and thanks for the fish!