Oneshot time. Whoo. Okay, um, I'm still on like, the fourth case or something of the first game so I'm not really down with the whole background crap and stuff of the characters. So some of it, I'm just going to make up for humor's sake.

Disclaimer: I own only this fanfiction. That's right; this awesome piece of literature is copyrighted to ME. Not you.

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Miles Edgeworth yawned as he sat in the waiting room. Well, sure, he didn't do it, but it sure as hell looked like it. Ol' Phoenix was just outta luck this time. He sure couldn't get any defense lawyers to help him out. He was going down, and he knew it. He popped his jaw and sighed.

Well, he may as well take Wright down with him. Edgeworth figured that if he didn't, he would feel this giant, gaping hole inside him when he went to prison. Chances were, he was doing life or the electric chair. Some crap like that.

The former prosecution attorney covered his face with one hand and sighed as he slid down in his chair. And he had never even gotten around to so many things…Well, this was it. He sighed again, depressed.

About that time, two officers came through the courtroom doors, dragging that little assistant girl of Wright's…

"HEY! YA BIG JERKS! LEMME GO! I CAN WALK!"

Edgeworth closed one eye as he watched the spectacle. He had to wonder what she pulled in there…Apparently she had a bad habit of losing her temper.

The girl kicked and screamed, until the officers tossed her into a chair beside Edgeworth, and turned to go back into the courtroom. "HEY! Aren't you supposed to be watchin' me or somethin'!?"

One officer turned around before closing the door. "Like we're gonna miss Wrong getting his ass handed to him? Yeah, right!" And on that note, slammed the door and continued watch on the other side.

"H-He's not that bad…!" Maya made a feeble attempt to defend Phoenix. Of course, no one was listening.

Except Edgeworth.

He continued observing her with one eye. Sometime before or during this trial, he remembered her mentioning that…her mother had been the psychic who couldn't find his father's killer. Or rather, she found him and Robert Hammond was able to defend him. Apparently, she was missing at the moment.

Maya noticed Edgeworth's stare now. "U-um, Mr. Edgeworth…" she looked down, as if to apologize. Ah, well…he hadn't expected things to go well for Wright.

"Don't worry about it," he stated. He sighed. Truth be told…he couldn't hardly take his eyes off the girl. She had just been born recently when the DL-6 case erupted.

She looked up at him again. "What? Look, I'm sure Nick will win fer sure! He always does! He's the best! Count on it!" She then gave him a complimentary 'nice guy' pose.

He grunted. He didn't like it when she talked about Phoenix. "Maya…"

"Hm?"

"How old were you when the DL-6 case happened?"

This question caught Maya off guard. "U-um…well…" she thoughtfully put her finger to her lips. Adorable. Edgeworth mentally slapped himself. "I was about…two-years-old when it happened I think…"

"Ah," Edgeworth nodded. "So…you're seven years younger than me?"

"Uh…what? I dunno how old you are!"

"Twenty. Twenty-four. That makes you eighteen, correct?" he answered coolly.

"…Um, NO. I'm seventeen."

Edgeworth cursed his rotten luck. Then he mentally slapped himself again. Hard.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Until… "Listen, Maya—Maya correct?"

She nodded slowly. This guy was creeping her out.

"I am about to go to prison—"

"Not true! Nick's gonna—"

"Just listen, will you? I'm about to more than likely go to prison—" she pouted "—and seeing as how I will probably be there forever or either I'll just be killed off, I have a request…"

She shifted in her seat. "Um, okay…"

"Kiss me."

Maya just about had a heart attack right then and there. "Ex-CUSE ME?"

"Kiss me," he repeated.

"N-No—"

Before Maya could react, Edgeworth had taken a firm hold on her wrist. "Now, now…why not grant a dead man's last wish, especially when it's something so trivial?"

"BECAUSE!" she shouted.

Edgeworth gave his trademark laugh before yanking her into his lap. "I-I'll scream!"

He nodded. "You do that, and let's see if anyone can hear it when it's muffled."

"HEL—"

Edgeworth crushed his lips against Maya's. She tried to push him off, but, seeing as she is a seventeen-year-old girl, who was being defiled by a twenty-four-year-old man, there was a bit of a strength gap. Please just give up and give in! Just before I'm sent off to die, or to jail for the rest of my life for something I didn't do! I'm a virgin!

Unfortunately for Edgeworth, or rather fortunately, Maya could not read minds. Yet. Edgeworth held the back of her head so close that she couldn't move it, while his other arm pinned down her arms and hand wandered a bit. She seemed to get pushier when he tried this. He shrugged it off and went about his fun.

Eventually, there was a point, when she relaxed and let him have his moment, as much as she hated it. She let his tongue wander and his hands dig into her sides.

Just as he was starting to get bolder, he began to feel his chest tightening. Damn oxygen. He released Maya, who promptly shoved herself away and fell on the hard floor.

She spoke in gasps. "What…the hell…IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

Edgeworth just smirked at her face, which was now a shade of red unidentifiable by man. "Oh, don't pretend you didn't enjoy it," he said, messing with his collar. His face was starting to feel a bit warm as well…

"And to think…" she seethed, "…that I just saved yer ass in court!"

Edgeworth stopped. "What…?"

"You were dead! But I stood up for ya!...Or rather for Nick!" she huffed. "So now I'm 'contempt from court'!" She made quotes with her fingers.

Edgeworth looked at her silently. "…Then why aren't you in the—"

"OI!" An officer appeared just at that moment. Joy. "I just realized…your supposed to be at the detention center!"

Maya and Miles stared at him. He coughed. "So…uh, come with me!" The officer brusquely grabbed Maya's arm and dragged her off. Maya looked at Edgeworth just long enough to stick her tongue out him before being dragged out of sight.

Edgeworth stared in her direction for a moment, before staring at the floor. So…she had stood up for him…? Or rather, Wright. He scowled. He furrowed his brows. And he had just totally invaded her personal space and privacy without her permission (even going against her permission) because he had no faith in his own defense attorney. Wow.

Miles Edgeworth felt low. Really low.

The court room doors opened, people began to file out accordingly. The first person to greet him, he should have guessed, was Dick Gumshoe. "Edgeworth! How are yah?"

Edgeworth grunted. "That depends on how my trial went."

"Huh? Oh! Yeah! Yah see, sir, the Larry Buntz guy was having a hard time at first, 'cause von Karma is pretty tricky in his lawyerly ways…"

Edgeworth nodded along, deciding not to point out that Larry was actually Phoenix.

"…But then, (yah won't believe it, sir!) that girl by Buntz spoke up, an' got herself kicked outta the courtroom!"

Edgeworth was silent.

"Then, well…Buntz was able to keep you from being declared guilty for a day, but…" he shook his head. "If yah ask me, I'd say that that girl was the star of the show! She, she—" Gumshoe seemed to be crying a bit.

Edgeworth bit his lip so hard it turned white. He snorted. "Well…Then it's only proper that I thank her accordingly."

Gumshoe wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Eh?"

Edgeworth nodded to a door on the other side of the room. "Beyond that door are my things…Grab my checkbook and write the amount for her bail…"

The detective scratched his head. "Um, alright sir, but who will I making it out to?"

Edgeworth gritted his teeth. "It's for her bail."

It took a moment for this to sink in before Gumshoe showed any signs of reacting. "Oh! Okay! I gotcha, sir!" With that he smiled and took off.

Edgeworth mumbled curses under his breath for a moment before he heard a certain defense attorney say: "Whew, that was a close one!"

Edgeworth stared silently at Phoenix Wright.

"Hey!" his rival pointed at him. "Don't you have anything to say?!"

Miles Edgeworth gritted his teeth. "No. I have yet to be declared innocent, Wright," He hissed.

"Well, yeah, but…" Wright shook his head, "What happened out there on that lake, anyway!? If he didn't commit suicide, then who...? The shooter was about a meter away, too!" He glared at Edgeworth.

"...W-what? Don't give me that look! I did not kill him!"

Phoenix put up his hands in self-defense. "I was just kidding around."

Edgeworth grunted in response.

"Look..." Phoenix sighed, "I'm going to go check on Maya."

Edgeworth's head snapped up. "Oh…Wright?"

"What?"

"Tell her something for me."

"What?" he repeated.

"…" Edgeworth was silent. His mind struggled with what to say. An apology? No, Wright would ask why…and he sure as hell didn't want that…A cheer? No, that's stupid… "Tell…Tell her to watch what she says in court. That's all."

And with that he was escorted back to the detention center.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Well what did Edgeworth know…Wright had actually won him the case…

He stood outside Wright & Co. with a box of chocolates hidden in his case. Couldn't let Wright see these…

Sighing heavily, he pounded his fist on the door.

"Eh? We don't normally get customers on foot…" Phoenix thought as he shoved another handful of popcorn down his throat. "MAYA."

"I'm right next to you!" Maya answered, covering her ears.

Wright blinked. "Oh, sorry. Just assumed you'd left or something." He turned back to the TV. "Get the door."

"Why do I have to?" she whined. Phoenix wasn't listening.

Grumbling, she got off her butt, and dragged her feet to the door. When she answered it, she was pretty shocked. "Mr…Edgeworth?"

"Hello, Maya. I was wondering if I could have a word with you…"

"Oh, um, okay," she nodded.

"…Alone?" he added.

"Um, well, we are alone. Sort of."

Edgeworth sighed. He couldn't blame her. Last time they were alone he had tried to feel her up…and kind of did…

He coughed. "I, um…I wanted to apologize for…for my behavior during my trial…" Maya listened, unmoved. "I, uh…was out of my place, and had no right to do what I did. I let my panic and emotions get the best of me, and I was selfish…I apologize." He then pulled out the box of chocolates and handed them to her. Of course, he couldn't look her in the eye as he did so.

When he finally gained the courage…She was smiling. He blinked. Edgeworth had looked up to find her smiling. "Heh, apology accepted Mr. Edgeworth! Anyone who feeds me deserves to be forgiven!" she replied, eying the chocolates greedily. "Gotta make sure Nick doesn't find 'em…" she mumbled.

"I was also wondering…" he started, looking down, "If you would like to…spend some time with me somewhere?"

"That's what we're doin' right now, right?" she smiled again.

He coughed into his sleeve. "W-well, I meant more of a date."

Maya frowned and shook her head. "Mm, no. Sorry, Mr. Edgeworth.

"Please, call me Miles."

She blinked. "Uh, okay, Miles."

Hearing her say his name sounded good. Or, it would have if he hadn't just been turned down. "May I ask why…?"

"'Cause you don't respect me! Not like that!"

Miles head snapped back. "I…I truly do…"

Maya frowned some more. Then she assumed, as Edgeworth put it, her cute thinking pose. A smile found its way to her face. "Mm, 'kay."

Miles couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true.

"On one condition!" she said holding up her pointer finger.

Too good to be true.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

"Push, Maya push!" Phoenix shouted.

"I'm…TRYING DAMMIT!" Maya screeched at him.

Wright recoiled fearfully. "Where the fucking hell is Edgeworth?!"

"Went to go get some ice cream!" Detective Gumshoe yelled.

"AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"

"I'M GONNA BE NEEDING IT AFTER THIS!" Maya yelled, kicking.

"M-Maya! Please! You're scaring the children!" Phoenix whimpered as some kids huddled in a corner.

"WELL THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TA DEAL WITH IT!" she screamed.

About that time Edgeworth showed up with three ice cream cones. "Hell…o…?"

Sweating, Maya motioned for Edgeworth to come over to her. "I need…my ice cream cones…"

"TWO? YOU GOT HER TWO?!"

"SHUT IT NICK! I'M HUNGRY!"

"B-but…Who's gonna push the go-cart?" Wright pointed sadly at the go-cart.

"You try!" she huffed, licking one of her cones.

"Be a gentleman," Edgeworth nodded.

"Yeah, Buntz!"

"It's WRIGHT. PHOENIX WRIGHT. Stop sucking up to Maya, Edgeworth!"

"No, I like it that way," Maya stated, munching on her cone.

Edgeworth shrugged.

Maya had wanted to go to a small carnival for a date. Her one condition was that they weren't alone and that they had friends with them. Edgeworth didn't particularly like the thought of Wright being there, but…it was what Maya had wanted.

He supposed letting her have her way was a first step for her trusting him again. If she had ever.

Eventually, he would earn her respect.

THE END. Yeah, all you guys out there…suck up to your girlfriends. I'm serious. If she asks if her butt looks big in said pants, say no. Just say it. And if she says she doesn't want anything for her birthday, or Valentines or whatever, she sure as hell does. And if she doesn't really, just get her something small anyway. IT EARNS YOU BROWNIE POINTS. Cough. This has been Lallyzippo with girl tips.

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