Sleepless nights and tired eyes

And here I am, again, another night of loneliness…. My side of the bed warm, while the other, colder than arctic air. I was saving the side for you, for our wedding day. However, you're spending it with him. The man that lacks any sense, class, love, or understanding. How dare that miscreant take you away from me? He doesn't deserve to see your smile, touch your flower petal face, and to hear a laugh that could dissipate rain clouds. You're the only one that can stifle my thunderstorms, and dry the endless tears.

A part of me died when you were taken from me. Ripped from my being like limbs, my dearest queen….not a day goes by when you're the center of my world. My sweet Serenity, you're name is also symbolic too, my sweet. You're my peace, my state of mind.

Darling, my darling, if you were here, I would apologize for trying to kidnap Small Lady. It was the only way that I was sure that I would be able to gaze upon the goddess that is you. I'm also sorry for abducting you, but the one thing that I won't apologize for is how I feel about you. I had a dream for both of us, a dream that you and I would reign king and queen, and rule a world of infinite bliss. That dream is just what is it, dearest, a dream. You'll never know of the void that was put into my heart. One so deep that not even a black hole could compare.

I only wish for your happiness, you know that. Just know that I would give you the world just to hear your laugh, or to see you smile. If I could go back in time, things would be so different between us. I've thought about it all the time. Not to embarrass you, but I've thought about what would've happened, if we'd made love.

I'm a fan of old tradition, I would've waited until our honeymoon. You may not believe it, but I'm a virgin….I wanted you to be my first, to hear my cries of ecstasy for you, for you to know that you've completed my world. How I'd longed to hear your cries of passion! My heart soars at the thought! Forgive me, love…ah, I could imagine your cheeks turn a lovely rose color. I would hold you in my arms, kiss your forehead, and tell you that everything will be fine.

One other thing that I have thought about is the possibility of having children, or maybe just one if you'd like. I know it would have those beautiful eyes of yours, and about the hair, who knows? I would be fine with either yours or mine. If we had a boy, I would to name him after Sapphire, my late brother, to honor him. As for a young lady, I would be forever smitten to have her named after you.

As I've said before, these are all just fantasies. So here, I lie, alone, and cold, seeking the comfort of my angel. One that could show me the sweet Serenity of life.