It's been a while hasn't it
It's been a while hasn't it? (smile. Smile)
This fic's getting quite a bit to crack, especially since we've discovered more on Pain and Madara (sigh) but then a gain, this is a FANfiction so… yeah ^^ it's been a while… gomenasai
Naruto no mine. Copyright Masashi Kishimoto 1997- shonen jump.
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Akatsuki Blossom
"coz everyone needs a senile daddy"
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"GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE YOU DEMON!!"
Daddy-chan's eyes budged out in anger as he began shaking religious beads in front of a very very agrivated Shinto priest who, currently, is in the middle of putting to wed his beloved precious daughter and Uchiha brat.
"YOU SHALL NOT HARM MY SAKURA-CHAN!!!"
"daddy!!"
"Sakura-chan, baby, can't you see that that man's deranged!!! LOOK AT HIS CLOTHING!!! Does THAT look like a MONK to you!!!???"
All heads turned towards the five month pregnant, pink haired beauty, clad in beautiful light pink kimono with her stomach showing a prideful baby and currently had tears welling up deep in her emerald orbs "I HATE YOU!! And on my wedding day as well! HOW COULD YOU!!!" she cried dramatically, crocodile tears flowing down her puffy cheeks
'here we go again' inner Sasuke sighed as he watched a very angry form of Haruno Sakura shove past everyone and into the bloody depths of darkness of which consisted of her home, allowing all present heads to be darting pass, following her silhouette
…3…
…2…
…1…
"nah, this just isn't my style" the princess sighed "Kakuzu-niichan!!" she called forward the older man who was known to have fought with the shodai hokage himself.
"yeah, yeah, I'm on it"
It took a while, a nd a small struggle before they could finally hhave this deranged old man to sit into a chair (ahem, more like kakuzu using his freaky freaky strings to like, bind and tie him up to a chair witch his mouth sewn, courtesy of almighty Kakuzu-sama, ahem)
"Can we keep like, keep this thing going, yeah? It's been like the fourth try already yeah"
"I must I agree with the boom-head over there"
"whatcha say, yeah, red eyed freak?!"
"ahem"
"everything's alright with Itachi-sama here" (insert: Toby trying to feel a certain budge on a certain Sharingan user's crotch (cough-Itachi-cough)
"ahem"
"How dare you!?- TOBI GET YOUR HANDS FROM MY CROTCH-! How dare you degrade the sharingan you-you blonde excuse of an artist!"
"ahem"
"OI!? WANNA GO AT IT,YEAH?!"
"ahem"
"sure, anything you want handsome" (Insert Itachi's seductive voice)
(twitch) (twich) (Tobi's sobs) (twich) (twitch)
"AHEM!"
"WHAT?!" Itachi glared as the two (ItaDei) broke free from their heated kiss (insert: Tobi crying pathetically at Itachi's feet)
"If you don't mind, brother, we do want to get married anytime soon" the younger Uchiha glared at his so-called 'nii-san' as he wrapped an arm protectively at the now-recovered mood-swinging pink bride of his.
And so it begins…
… about an hour later…
"YAY!!!" cheers were heard as the two finally broke away from their heated kiss, both looking flushed and flustered.
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Daddy's POV:
"no… no… my Sakura-chan… my Sakura-chan… no… no… NOOOOO!!!" his eyes rolled to the back of his skull in pure dismay as his heart screamed bloody murder "NNOOO!!!!! MMMYYYY PPPRRRIIINNNCCCEEESSSSS!!!!"
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THUD.
"daddy?"
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"kaa-chan" the newly-wed blushing bride pouted before her beloved momma "he's out cold"
Poke. Poke. "my sweet, leave him be" poke. Poke.
"okay" poke. Poke.
Sasuke, however, was not that appease, and did not poke for that matter. Instead, he stood over the failed man's body, a triumph smirk present between his lips before…
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IN YO FACE YOU OLD MAN MWAHAAHHAAHHAA!!!"
Taking his while composing himself, Uchiha Sasuke looked around the empire whose people had an O.O expression getting back his composure, he glared a hole through everyone's heads
"hn"
O.O
O.O
O.O
"Sassy-kun!!!"
All attention was turned towards the female that was latched onto Sasuke's arm. Battering her eyes cutely and rather childishly she stated "Sasu-kun, let's skip the after party and go on to the wedding night, ne?" she even added an extra pout to sum it all!
Just before the great host of amazing Uchiha sperm forcefully kissed the young maiden's lips, a throaty cry was heard.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" wow. Daddy Haruno's eyes were even shining that ye ole mighty look "Uchiha GET YOUR HORNDOG OF A HAND OUT OF MY DAUGHTER!!!!!" he cried reaching out, only to be restrained by Kakuzu's ropes.
"YOU!!!"
"me?" asked a confused Kakuzu
"HOW DARE YOU!!! ..!!! I OWWN YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! I AM YOUR LEADER!!! YOU MUST FOLLOW ME!!! HOW DARE YOU- PUT ME DOWN!!! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!!! KAKUZU I COMMAND YOU!!! RELEASE ME OR I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF THE ORGANIZATION!!!UNHAND ME YOU FEIND!!!" he screamed around like a lunatic, icky veins popping out at the sid of his aging throat.
Sasuke then smirked at this, and making sure that daddy Haruno has a good peripheral view on him and his love, he then bought her lips down forcefully on his blossom's as he began ravishing her mouth… right in front of an overprotective dady having a temper tantrum.
"PUT ME DOWN!!! Uchiha GET YOUR HANDS, LIPS, AND TOUNGE AWAY FROM MY BABY!!! NOOO!!!! YOU!!!" he cried fake crocodile tears onto the others, eyes darting towards everyone present in the room "WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE!? HELP ME IF SO I WILL KICK ALL YOUR ASSSES-OI!!! STOP GROPING MY SAKURA-CHAN OI!!!!!" at this he began thrashing around violently from side to side "TRAITIORS!!! YOU TRAITORS!!! HOW COULD YOU!!! I RAISED YOU IDIOTS FROM SCRAPS!!! HOW COULD YOU, YOU TRAITORS!!!!!??? UNHANDME IF SO GOD FORBID I WILL SPREAD HELL TO ALL!!! UNHAND MMMMEEEEEE!!!!"
Even as the doors slammed shut as Kakuzu, mommy Haruno and the Akatsuki members dragged the screaming fellow to his doom (room. Bedroom), one could still hear the desperate please of the aging man.
"CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S USING HER!?? HE'S GOING TO RAPE HER!!! RAPE HER I TELL YOU!!!! Oh my Sakura-chan… my sweet sweet Sakura-chan… oh my Sakura-chan… ITACHI HOW THE HELL COULD YOU STAND THERE WHEN YOUR BROTHER'S RAPING MY SAKURA-CHAN!!!! HOW COULD YOU!?? HAVE YOU NO HEART!!??"
And really, if you listen carefully, one could hear Itachi berating with a shrug as he answered the pleading and moreover annoying questions of the old man.
"it's clan restoring"
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…Back inside the room…
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-Sasuke-kun?-
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Sasuke-kun?"
Poke. Poke. Poke.
-i love you-
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"…"
Poke. Poke. Poke.
-i love you-
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Sasuke-kun?"
Poke. Poke. Poke.
-i love you-
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"hn"
Poke. Poke. Poke.
-i love you-
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Sasuke-kun?"
Smack. Slap. Smack.
"what?!"
Smile. Smile.
-so much...-
"nothing" shrugging her shoulders, she turned to him, her eyes were looking as though she wwas debating whether or not to tell him something.
"Sakura, what is it?" he asked in a gentler tone as he wrapped an arm securely on her shoulders.
"I think daddy's gone senile"
Sweatdrop.
Anime sweatdrop.
Major anime sweatdrop.
"uh… sure?"
Smile. Smile.
-oh Sasuke-kun...-
Smile. Smile.
"Mrs. Sakura Uchiha does sound nice, ne?"
-do you know...-
Smirk.
-how much i love you...?-
Hit. Bam. Boom.
"aa"
-too bad...-
Slap. Pout. Huff.
-you're a-
"cocky bastard"
"hn"
-but all the same...-
Sigh. Smile. Smile.
"Sasuke-kun?"
Raise Eyebrow. Huff. Smirk
-you're my...-
"aa?"
"i luuuuurrrrrrvvvve yyyyyoooouuuu!!!"
-Sasuke-kun...-
"hn. I know"
Hit. Bam.
"cocky bastard"
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EyeCatch: As the two teens showed each other their love, inside the hell where they were wed, one could hear about the voice of an old senile man with the ghoul's shout of a : "MMMMYYYYY BBBAAAABBBBYYYYY NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!"
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Next time:
"mou, Sasuke-kun, what about baby names?"
"I SHALL HAVE MY GRANDSON NAMED AFTER ME, THE GOD OF YOUTH!!!"
"I say we name it Itachi Jr!!"
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A/N: man, I'm starting to suck at writing comedy… (sweatdrop) I like poking people all of the sudden lol XD thanks for reading my corny corny but hopefully entertaining fanfic… don't forget to review! Comments, flames are accepted!
Daddy Haruno: Feh, traitorous brats! (grumbles) (grumbles)
Sakura: ne baby-chan, jii-chan's starting to get senile isn't he (rub tummy) (rub)
Sasuke: hn
Sakura: *glomp Sasuke*
Daddy Haruno: NOOOO!!!!!
you bastards!!! (joke lol XD) dude... seriously, review!!! i mean, really!!!! 10 reviews?? that's an insult! ... wait, i know that i kinda sound like a byotch right now, not being able to be in content with the ten reviews i have right now, but really... man... take a look at my stats:
chap1 - 4119 hits, 34 reviews
chap2- 2394 hits, 28 reviews
chap3- 1325 hits, 13 reviews
chap4- 869 hits, 10 reviews
(sobs) seriously... im hurt :((