WASH YOUR PATHIK
Guru Pathik walked outside of his newly bought beach-house and looked out to the sea. He sighed; he knew it was going to be a long day. He walked back inside and looked around for the T.V. remote. As he looked underneath his twin mattress, he realized most of the things he owned didn't exist. He immediately awoke in an insane asylum. Looking around the completely white room, Pathik thought of the only thing he could do: DANCE PARTY!!!! Pathik jumped up and started singing the nonexistent Seinfeld theme song until the opening credits appeared…
WASH YOUR PATHIK
In 2007, which is a year according to the internet, a kid named Joseph Gordon sat down in front of his computer screen and decided to write the greatest fanfiction on Earth. Instead of that, though, he made this, and he is very sorry. This is what happens when a person is bored, tired, and procrastinating against doing his summer math packet which is due in two weeks.
Koh sat around inside of his "tree-house" and sighed; just a few hours ago he was having a wonderful dream where he stole someone named Sasuke's face. It was the perfect dream until Koh took his own face. He had woken up screaming, even though that is impossible for him. He later went to a market in Ba Sing Se and bought some chocolate ice cream and, since then, he had been eating it while watching reruns of Naruto on Cartoon Network. This was how Koh spent his days during the summer while he was off-duty from his acting career. It was easy to see how much more weight he gained. Well, unless you were blind like Toph, but then you wouldn't be reading a fanfiction, would you. But this story isn't about Koh. Frankly, it isn't about anything.
In a world where there is anime, there are always supporters of certain character relationships. These supporters are known as "SHIPPERS." Some examples of these so called "Shippings" are the names Zutara, Kataang, Tokka, Taang, Sukka, Maiko, and others. Little do people know, these relationship names have lives of their own. Here is a look into their social lives…
Zutara walked into Toys R' Us to buy AVATAR:THE LAST AIRBENDER: THE BURNING EARTH for the X-box 360. While in the videogame aisle, Zutara spotted Kataang, who was buying NARUTO: UZUMAKI CHRONICLES 2 for the PS2. The scene was not pretty.
"Hey, if it isn't the crappy and unlikely character shipping." called Kataang as soon as she/he made eye contact with Zutara.
"So, you're saying I'm crappy when you're the one supporting the Naruto franchise?" replied Zutara.
"Naruto happens to have quality, which is more than I can say about your relationship." The audience on my Laugh-track gasped at Kataang's comment.
"AW HELL NO! YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!"
"I can say it again."
It was at that moment that they broke out into a fight. Tokka looked on from behind a cash register and was glad that his shipping was a peaceful one. That is, until Sukka approached her/him.
"So, one shipping isn't good enough for you, is it?" cried Sukka.
"Seriously, this is not what it looks like." said Tokka.
Sukka pounced on Tokka and they broke out into a fight. Watching the fights from far away, and with a O-O look on their faces, Maiko and Taang silently left the store and walked away slowly before they decided to kill each other.
WASH YOUR PATHIK
"As everyone knows, the Avatar's job is to restore balance to the world, but when he's not, he's probably having relationship problems. Here on Dr. Teo, I will talk to certain people and ask about their current love interests. First up, he's the Avatar, Aang!" Aang fangirls squealed with delight at the sight of their favorite character, while Zutara shippers booed his existence.
"So Aang, I understand that you have a dilemma in your life, am I correct?" asked Teo.
"Yes Teo, I do. I've liked Katara for awhile now, but upon recent searching on the internet, I discovered that some people think me and Toph belong together. At first, I thought nothing of it, but soon, I began reading Taang fanfics, and I've discovered that they "turn me on," so to speak. What should I do?" explained Aang.
"Aang, I have the perfect solution for you. Become a player." said Teo.
"What's a player?" asked Aang.
"You'll find out on the internet."
"Thank you Teo. I'm going to become a player right now." Aang then walked of stage.
"Okay, now, my next guests are Prince Zuko, Katara, and Mai." Zutara shippers cheered for Zuko and Katara, and booed at Mai's existence, much like they did towards Aang.
"Hi Teo. I'm here to explain my relationship with Zuko to Mai, who doesn't seem to understand." ranted an annoyed Katara.
"You don't own me, all right." said Zuko. He then smacked Katara's face. Zutara shippers booed their hearts out; both figuratively and literally.
"Hah, you got smacked." chuckled Mai. Zuko then smacked her.
"I must capture the avatar!" screamed Zuko. He then ran out of the studio.
"Zuko, wait. I want to make babies with you!" called Katara who chased after him.
"Hey, you want to make out?" Mai asked Teo. Teo grinned, turned off the cameras, and he and Mai got a hotel room for themselves.
BACKSTAGE: Aang saw Katara running past him. He stopped her and talked to her.
Aang: Hey Katara. Guess what. I've become a player!
Katara: O-O
WASH YOUR PATHIK
Joseph Gordon looked at what he had wrote. It only took 16 minutes, 15 seconds, and 14 milliseconds to create. He got up, smirked, and walked straight into someone's fist, which knocked him down. He looked up at a bunch of Toph fan-people, Kataang shippers, Zutara shippers, Maiko shippers, and more.
"You neglected Toph in this story. You deserve to burn in the fiery pits of hell!" complained a Toph fanboy. Everyone else complained about subjects that don't have anything to do with Koh, Pathik, washing your Pathik, or the fact that the title of the story keeps appearing in a cheaper type of text the further the story goes. Fearing his own demise, Joseph did the one thing he would never do……….
TOO BEE COONTEENOOD WIT MO' TEWWIBL GWAMMRR…
Pathik walked outside and jumped into a mud puddle.
wash your pathik